Terrible Campaign Ideas: Character Funnel Ideas

If you hadn't noticed by my comment box im offering a link to limited release content for best comment of the week. If it works I will do more often. Yes I'm a needy lonely old man.

I like taking four zero level characters in a starting dungeon romp.

The Dungeon Gleaners
A dungeon has been cleaned out by proper adventurers. They come through the village hiring locals to clear out all the scrap, doors, tables, pots, pans, everything they couldn't be bothered with. The hired mooks get 10%. They can even demolish the place and sell bricks if they want. The mooks get a letter saying they have permission from the dungeon deed owners to scrap the place. Look out for big rats and bugs and someone saw a severed undead hand and a huge centipede. Possibly some kobolds or goblins from elsewhere might get curious and poke about. Possibly the adventurers missed some secret doors or treasure or an orc. Good luck.

Gongfarmers Due
Recently a monster filled sewer section was cleaned out by adventurers. The Gongfarmers guild need some (cough) volunteers to see if there are any unwelcome monsters left but mostly to gather exotic monster feces for the guild fecal museum (not to sell to wizards for big cash honest). You can trust the guild.

Get in that hole for beer
A farmer had his dog fall down a hole chasing rabbits in the bottom of a field. He needs some youths to find the dog as he is too old and frail (hack cough). He promises enough beer to get drunk each, a pumpkin and a all the apples you can carry in your hands if you get the dog (Bingo) back. 

Urchin Quest
The urchin gang has kicked you all out of the club for being too old. They throw you out of the squat and throw rocks at you. Perhaps it's time to get a proper job or something. One of you has found a map of a stash hidden in the ruined part of town. Probably some crooks loot. Should be a cakewalk.

Dungeon Prep School
You've been put in the same room in dungeon prep school. A prestigious schools for potential adventurers. The school has lots of exciting secrets, student larks and funny old teachers. Someone paid for your tuition. Everyone says don't go to the students graveyard or any of the strange secret doors. Whatever you do don't be tempted to join the naughty students secretly taking extra classes in the black library where devils teach forbidden magic and train cultists. ou should probably dob those students in.