Hawksmire Info and exploration

Previous relevant posts

https://elfmaidsandoctopi.blogspot.com/2026/03/post-2500-new-campagn-setting.html
https://elfmaidsandoctopi.blogspot.com/2026/02/barking-alien-challenge-day27-anecdotes.html

Players have now seen 4 villages and dealt with smugglers who can move them around the coast or move them by secret, dangerous underground and wilderness routes the orcs shun.

New glasses made me able to read a novel fiirst time in maybe 5 years Hiero's Journey a super inspirational book in Appendix N and influenced Gamma World. Was last book left on my bedside reading for a few years. I used to read a book a day but since about 91 it was mostly classics and not much fiction. Comics look 30% better now too.

Chumwater pop40

Leadership - Mayor Darlia Morgangrim was voted by merchants and farmers and has deals with local goblins who also keep orcs away. They support trade with outsiders but orcs stop this
Local Cult - 60% Dagon cultist fisher folk in Mariners Guild led by Friar Eelman, who work with the local fish folk colony offshore a ruined reef city. Others are looking for alternative non-fishy faiths, but revere their ancestors. There is a ruined church in a village with an uncertain background. Fish folk help humans catch fish and gather seaweed, which provides most of the villagers' food
Traders - Weeping Dwarf Tavern, Blacksmith, General Store
Imports - Farm supplies, lumber, 
Exports - Fish, fish, folk gold, formerly beer
Notes - Empty buildings and catacombs full of goods make up lots of the town so locals can just find all kinds of items. The original inhabitants disappeared, the current population all been shipwrecked over the last 30 years. A few goblins do chores and help crafters in return for scrap and fish. Locals welcome new arivals to the island of the damned. Fisherfolk offer mariners guild membership but the mayor has some jobns you can earn a house.

Angler Harbour pop360

Leadership - Mayor Desamona Cricklebrod is supported by the village and the anglerfish cult
Local Cult - Anglerfish goddess Lampgulp worshipped in the Fishwivews guild. Males are occasionally "married" to lampgulp, and the priestesses may try flirty fishing to find eligible menfolk. Priestess Cassandra Goodlamp and her seven sister priestesses keep the town street lamps lit, burning fish oil. The cult also keeps the lighthouse beacon lit and chart whener Lampgulp might be and calculates safer sea journeys. Cultists light a lamp on boats for night travel as it scares away many marine creatures. The smugglers guild have a secret cave and is a male branch of the cult who dont want to marry their fish goddess forever. The cult has a mirror that lets them see lampgullp on a full moon, and they interpret the gestures, blinking and gulping of the goddess as an oracle. Only heretics say the god is a moron and this is a scam. They have lots of parades, sometimes in anglershish masks or mantern headpieces or candles. Anglerfish folk have a law forbidding them to come ashore for the moment due to a idol concealed in a coastal cliff sinkhole near each coastal village from an ancient pact. 
Traders - Seamans Arms (fishers and sailors), Kelpie Tavern (sealers) Bait Store, Antiques, Carpenters, Traders Shack, Boatbuilders, FIshwives Guild (process and trade fish), Smugglers Guild
Imports - Metal goods, lumber, meat and dairy, rope
Exports - Fish, pearls, seaweed, fish oil
Notes - The cult will for money, help you leave the island to another cursed island that Lampgulp also menaces. One of the more welcoming villages with fewer disappearances. Men will be inspected and judged (fail CHA roll = rejected) to see if Lampgulp fancies them. Women adventurers offered to settle with their retainers

Eadwald pop420

Leadership - Mayor Willard Hopford was elected by traders and crafters and they operate the brewery and grow hops and barley. Jolly and popular and assists in religious service.
Local Cult -  Locals worship the Lawthar Drakenweald the wizard-saint who defeated the frog god and trapped it forever in the well from a quaint chapel led by Brother Horrence Durmagernt. In fact, the frog god bound in the well sends out corrupt dreams, erases memories and promotes vicious chaos mutant frog cult has emerged and menaces the town. Catacombs under the town, haunted houses and catacombs are used by the frog cult. They also deal with frog folk and the mutant tribes of the swamp
Traders -  Croakmans Arms Inn, Marshmans Tavern, General Store, Grog Shop, Farmers market, Blacksmith (works local poor quality bog iron), Carpenter, Mason, Frog Shop (frogfolk trade their pottery, grog, marshweed and magical frogs), Bait Shop, Book Shop, Potters workshop, Assylum (for money keep your mutant and mad relatives locked up, some come here to recover trauma which the god in the well devours in their dreams) 
Imports - Metal, bonemeal, bird guano, cloth
Exports - Wood, Frog Grog, Marshweed, Grain, Eels, Frogs, Hops, Worms, Bugs
Notes - Frog folk seen here often trading or smoking pipes, relaxing. Adventurers are welcome to kill monsters and loot all the weird local wizard towers, haunted houses and dungeons. Strangers are welcome, especially adventurers. Orcs seem to have forgotten this place and shun region. They will not sleep in area in fear of bad dream frog

Greywater pop320

Leadership - Mayor Aegis Marshman helps organise the folk to fend off swamp horrors with defences rather than for his trade acumen, like other mayors. He is huge and is too busy for manners. Insulting him will get you a beating. He used to be a hermit but he drove out crime and reduced drunks and helped build walls and watch towers. He runs the weekly mutant hunts. He is actually a 1000 year old immortal ranger battling the spawn of the chaos god below
Local Cult - Mutant cultists many, tainted by the amorphous god below or might have interbread with its spawn. Locals strongly desire some kind of church but the Mayor only tolerates druids unless priests prove themselves decent sorts. Human mutants outnumber townfolk and live with the lesser spawn of the god below. Some townsfolk with hidden mutations or mutant kin help mutants and worship with them in improvised shrines in ruins and catacombs. Some people just abandon mutant children, but may be reluctant to kill mutants. Most dont realise the small spawn of the gods were never human, Pathetic small swamp mutants can be found alone or groups being idiots. Many die by accident and are as tough as a kobold but dumb as a baby. Some may grow to medium size and even live among mutants who care for them. A party may arrive during a mutant hunt or experience an attack by a horde of pathetic mutants led by robed mutant cult leaders
Traders -  Marsh Bounty Inn, Mutantwhackers Arms Tavern (people get drunk here before mutant hunts), Sea Scorpion Tavern (for crooks), Glassblowers, Blacksmaith, Boat Builder, Traders Warehouse, Fish Shop, Bait Shop, Freak Show (imprisoned mutants for educational purposes 1cp or for 1gp you can kill a small one) 
Imports -  Metal, grain, meat 
Exports - Seaweed, gelatin, weird dried fish
Notes - Fisher folk here are tough and brutal and think outsiders are weak snobs. Goblins and frog folk pass through here as long as not mutants. Saving locals wins respect and overcomes suspicion. Killing lots of mutants helps, but not just small ones. Giant fish and invertebrates from prehistoric seas impress locals, too. Locals are brooding, silent and give resentful stares mostly. The mayor over 7 foot tall, offers adventurers food and board for monster killing

Burning Hill pop400

Leadership - Mayor Lucian Ironblood, who also leads the cult and the Dwarvern mining Guild
Local Cult - The green burning god they worship demands sacrifices, so strangers, vagrants and wanderers might be charged with a crime and sacrificed into the well. About 30% of the town are Dwarfs, nasty, grumpy ones. Many humans serve dwarfs for status and benefits, so join the cult. The rest of the village hides in terror during cult rites. Non-member bunkhouses are seperate to local cult member housing. Cultists get access to forbidden mines and gather the rare green glowing burning mineral, koboldium. They do take on new workers more now as locals sacrifice orcs, which their dark burning god welcomes. Some speculate the well is full of green, flaming undead or glowing kobolds. Nomn cultists are afraid, but dont want to know how bad it is. At least orcs, goblins and mutants dont come here
Traders -  Koboild Arms Inn, The Coal Hole Tavern, The Iron Bar Tavern, Mountain Brewery, Mining Supply, Alchemist, Many dorm and bunk houses for workers. Dwarf Miners Guild, Miners Guild and several mining companies all run multiple mines.
Imports - Labour, food, drink 
Exports - Ore, metal, coal, alchemist supplies
Notes - Orcs shun this place as do goblins. Some deal with kobolds and the dwarves, which is how goblin beer comes to town. Many locals dislike the town, but need work and homes

Wolfmire pop120

Leadership - Kolos Brulden is the mayor and a cousin of the domain ruler Chrysopasia. He is also the lead werewolf of the coven pack cult. He has others take care of money and management so he can hunt and punish criminals. He shares her madness for the hunt and hopes to impress her followers so she forgives him and allows him back in Hawksmire. He might hire adventurers to stir up some monsters
Local Cult - The wolf cult worships a wolf-devil who appears at ceremonies to bless initiates with the red thirst. Cult members lord over commoners and outsiders and may try to promote conflict, such as hunting, gaming or a duel
Traders -  New Moon Inn, Lord of the Hunt Tavern, Blacksmith, Tanner, Furrier, Carpenter, Hunters Guild
Imports -  Grain, meat, metal
Exports - Fur, leather, wood

Notes - Orcs are a bit scared here, but wolf riders most of all. Strange dogs or wolves or jackals are unwelcome here and wind up killed or hunted. Locals delight in hunting, killing and torturing orcs. They nail orc skins to walls, and the orcs say it's not fair.

Swinewater pop350

Leadership - Mayor Greebus Tumorzle leads the town and the merchants guild
Local Cult - No cults, just a devil swine nobility ruling over poot peasants who are charmed daily into thralldom. The top tier dont work and indulges their whims. The crafters and shopkeepers are the next best off but never privy to the noble events. The workers and farmers live in rags and wretchedness while pigs are treated better than people. The devil swine worship hell with depictions of devils at fat pigs. Invisible imps guard certain places but the nobles have smaller gatherings in hunting lodges
Traders -  Golden Boar Inn & Brewery, The Silver Sow tavern, The Dirty Pig Sly Grogshop (for the poor), Custom Tailor, Swine Supply General store, Bakery, Feed Store, Blacksmith, Carpenter, Mason, leatherwork, Merchant Guild, The Boar House (feast hall for the rich with secret recreational dungeon) 
Imports - Anything fancy or luxury, any food
Exports - Pork, craft goods, lard, candles
Notes - Visitors are met with curiosity by nobles to see if they can bring skills to the village or might taste good. The trade with the pig-loving orcs and some walk the streets, but the other kinds are killed and fed to pigs like other troublemakers

Fever Bay pop350

Leadership - Svartyana Adderman the mayor, won the position through winning solo dances and parade float clubs. The guildhall has representatives of various industries and each competes with cultural events like sport, dance and art
Local Cult - All worship at the snake temple or local shrines to various snake sects. Snakefolk hybrids dominate the temple currently and the obvious hybrids never leave in daylight. They include demon snake cults and wizards. Not everyone is evil or knows about the hybrids in control now but everyone loves snakes and festivities. Outsiders dont enter the prehistoric stone temple with fossilised ammonites in the stonework. The cult wants power but is aware the island and the domain ruler might turn on them
Traders - Oroborus Inn, Snakecharmers Tavern, Dancing Serpent Tavern, General store, Jeweller, Mason, Rope Shop, Basketmaker, Weavers, Snake Market, Apothecary (poison antidotes a speciality), 
Imports - Rats, eggs, iron, coal, oil 
Exports - Medicine, herbs, snake wine, snakes, baskets, brass, rope, cloth, gold, gems
Notes - Visitors are welcome to join celebrations and might get offers to get drunk, dance contests, musical shows, and to snog. Most houses have pet snakes.The  Snake Eater tribe of orcs are hated. Locals wear little and carry curved knives and swords they use in dances. Frog and rat folk keep away 

Orc Wasteland pop200 each tribe

1 Warg Riders trade with humans of Wolfmire, led by Chief Karag Lorg, who worship a wolf-hunter ancestor
2 Boar Riders trade with humans of Swinewater led by Chief
Squalgor Fullboar, who worships a golden sun boar spirit
3 Red Arrows directly serve the Domain Lord led by Cheiftain Lora Gundrag. She keeps marrying orcs men and they last only a week. They worship a blood thirsty god of the hunt who like to impale victims
4 Black Arrows hate even other orcs and cover themselves in blood. Famous for ambushes and poison. Led by Skylar Ulfdan a treacherous, scheming sadist. They worship a dark demon prince and conflict with other orcs the most
5 Snake Eaters hate humans of Fever Swamp led by cheif Ulfran Baalgor. She hates human snake cultists as their poison-eating ancestor who failed against a snake wizard. Bitter and vindictive they bear grudges against other orc tribes but mostly just avoid them
6 Bone Lords were necromancers killed by other tribes years ago. Led by the orc wizard Sharmarg Voltan. Adventurers killed the evil wizard but some say he is now undead. Once he tried to take control of the domain which led to the tribes decline. Other orcs killed this tribe. They were godless necromancers and grave robbers

Notes - Orcs are tribal nomads who move their villages every season or more if in decline. As players kill them, tribes might merge or hide in the hills. Those sub bosses are probably related to a chief so will create beef if killed.

Hawksmire pop 1600

Detail this later but i seem to be adding more draconic lore

Additional Handy Tables

These are for routes avoiding the orc-controlled roads.

Highway or sea with smugglers - one hex per hour
Wasteland or sea without smugglers - one hex per two hours
Hills or forest - one hex per 4 hours

Survival and wilderness skills can reduce travel time in difficult eras.

Technically slower routes through hills and forests that avoid orcs in the wastes and roads
The coastal anticlockwise coast smuggling route, the cultists can navigate safely. Without smugglers, the trip is slower and more dangerous.

The wild way goes through hills and forests that the orcs seldom use. The secret paths are tunnels left by the dwarves long ago. Any hex on the wild way has a 1in6 chance of a secret way entrance allowing you to travel as if on a highway for a d43 hexes through tunnels and use secret way encounters. Smugglers or other local guides can reduce encounters and avoid hazards. Smugglers know which paths dont lead to dragons or dead ends. Goblins use these routes too for beer, but their knowledge might offer alternate routes.

d12 Coastal Travel
1in12 chance per hex or 1in12 per trip between towns if with Lampgulp cult smugglers
1 Boat strikes rocks

2 Fog closes in

3 Fiesty dog sharks

4 Bad weather

5 Shipwreck in progress

6 Seawolf lycanthropes (might be in a boat in human form)

7 Carnivorous nasty mermaids

8 Fish folk hunters

9 Giant squid or octopus

10 Pliesiosaur or hydra

11 Selkie or dolphins warn of danger (also roll a d10 for a second result)

12 Giant lamprey fish with glowing lure, 1in6 it is Lampgulp, the angler fish demigod monster who eats ships

d12 Coastal Exploration

1 Dead fish or half-eaten shark

2 Driftwood

3 Flotsam and jetsam

4 Wreckage from a ship washed up, possibly survivors

5 Wrecked ship or boat with dead crew, possibly submerged

6 Buried treasure or cache

7 Dead bodies (possibly zombies or skeletons)

8 Fishing nets, floats, crab or eel traps, buoys and fishing rubbish

9 Huge skeleton or corpse of a marine monster

10 Smugglers or fishermen d4 1=travelling 2=need help 3=camp 4=salvaging

11 Castal cave partly prone to tidal flooding d4 1=monster lair 2=wrecker or pirate gang 3=fish folk 4=cult

12 Underwater ruins d4 1=monster lair 2=fish folk outpost 3=undead 4=monsterous killer kelp

d12 Wild Way 
1in12 per hex or if with smugglers per inter-settlement trek through orc-free areas

1 Wolves

2 Wild boars

3 Goblin hunters

4 Bandits 1in6 cannibals

5 Carnivorous ape

6 Owlbear

7 Wild forest folk

8 Ogres

9 Lycanthropes

10 Giant

11 Treant
12 Dragon flyover

d12 Wild Way Exploration

1 Stone monoliths of wild folk of old
2 Carved wood idol or crucified orc
3 Camp of wild folk (1in6 occupied)
4 Tree carved with a face used as a shrine

5 Hunters traps or hunting grounds

6 Grazing area

7 Pool or stream or bog

8 Goblin or tribal wild folk village

9 Cave, possibly lair or deeper

10 Secret way tunnel system with a d4 paths each d3 hexes long

11 Ancient tower or rustic shack

12 Farmstead of a clan of cultists

d12 Secret Way
1in12 per hex or if with smugglers per d3 hex tunnel complex

1 Carrion worms

2 Rust monster

3 Owlbear

4 Giant lizard

5 Giant spider

6 Cave fisher

7 Evil demon cult dwarves

8 Undead dwarves (zombies)

9 Undead dwarves (ghouls)

10 Shadows

11 Wight leading skeletons

12 Dragon

d12 Secret Way Exploration

Smugglers use safer roads. If you find a way on your own, use this 
1 Partially blocked passage

2 Campsite with gnawed human bones

3 Mad loner dwarf shack

4 Graffiti on the wall, a clue?

5 Sinkhole into deeper caves

6 Huge burrows of worms or insects

7 Cobweb and spider-infested

8 Mushroom forest full of vermin and possibly goblins

9 Flooded area to cross with fish and critters

10 Trapped area

11 Graveyard or corpses from disaster or war

12 Dragon lair

Whats on at the Guild?

Guild Benefits
Priority medical care
Pension for sick and old members
Aid widows and orphans of members
Legal support
Legal monopoly for members
Religious and financial advice

Eating, drinking and singing
Political influence
Security to protect the industry (possibly a mob)
Help with licensing and dealing with the state
Help find apprentices and workers
Help with loans and finance

Guild Obligations
Pay membership
Work through the ranks
Have your skills evaluated
Assist the guild charity for members
Vote on guild matters
Keep guild trade secrets
Help guild hall repairs
March in parades
Aid fellow members
Enter member competitions and challenges
Donate a masterwork to the guild
Defend the honour of the guild and its members

1cp for apprentices and journeymen 1sp for members and 1gp for masters a week

includes a weekly dinner and a ritual meeting on a night

Family and servants help prepare meals, serve tea, make cakes, do admin and are protected as members while doing their duties.

Usually, you join in a ritual as part of an apprenticeship and are sworn to the guild's secrets as a teenager. Then they become journeymen for a few years, travelling to learn skills from other masters. They may find a job for life or start their own business or join their family shop and be full members.  Full guild members are considered professionals with full voting rights. To be in the guild masters, you need to have a record of prize-winning that brings glory to the guild, or be 50 years old and have a history of guild community activity. Sometimes someone gets in with money or influence. The Guildmaster will be selected from the council of masters or if a tie or a contentious issue, open to all members. Three journeymen get one vote or six apprentices. Voting varies, but requires that dues be paid. 

Guilds have links to other guilds, and you can get aid with your guild badge, like accommodation or work. Members have a badge issued for travelling and meeting other guilds. If you work locally, you pay the local guild. Some guilds hate each other or might be jerks about hospitality. Some are famously fair and generous and give you beer.

Crime guilds follow this in a more underworld style. Mercenary guilds can be vindictive. Assassin guilds very critical but have best drugs.

d12 What's on at the Guild tonight?
Big halls have several events in separate rooms
1 Guild industry presentation open to the public with bread and soup
2 Recruitment fair day with displays of history and community good deeds
3 Court to resolve member conflicts or appeals and issue fines
4 Important vote with shouting and drama, then drinking
5 Boring council meeting, mostly business with tea and cake
6 Informal gathering for members +1 guest for drinking and games
7 Dance with a band, with tea and cake and several toasts
8 Lecture on esoteric industry secrets for members, with tea and cake
9 Theatre presentation or band featuring members with tea and cake
10 Wedding or other public ceremony followed by dance, toasts, tea and cake
11 Ritual ceremonies, such as initiation, may seem occult with robes and singing
12 Feasting and drinking after the meeting and ritual

d12 Guild Drama?
Big halls have several dramas going on,
1 Internal faction feud over committee control

2 Rival guilds of different industries seek to be more influential
3 Merchant breaking the guild's state-sanctioned monopoly
4 Rival guild parade floats and costumes might win this year
5 Guild member conflict has split the guild 

6 Nobles need to be placated to renew the guild charter

7 Big trade contract keeping guild busy

8 Competing for new apprentices, current methods failing

9 Families within a guild conflict, but their kids get along

10 Someone with a grudge sabotaging or robbing guild

11 Smugglers avoiding legal guild tariffs

12 Conflict with a crime guild or gang

d12 Guild Hall Features
Most guilds have a basic hall for meetings and feasts, plus a clerk office and kitchen

1 Workshop

2 Library

3 Laboratory

4 Cellars for storage

5 Bar

6 Attic for storage

7 Shrine dedicated to past members, might be buried under floor or on display

8 Shrine dedicated to the patron deity of the guild

9 Secret ritual room for higher orders

10 Gaming room

11 Courtroom

12 Vault

d12 Guild Outbuildings
Most guilds have a basic hall for meetings and feasts, plus a privy, office and kitchen

1 Privy shack or latrine

2 Storage sheds

3 Brewery, distillery or wine vats

4 Sauna

5 Fenced garden

6 Outdoor cooking and eating areas

7 Stage 

8 Barracks with bunks for members

9 Tomb memorial or graveyard for members 

10 Stables

11 Field or pit for games and sports

12 Courtyard with statues and a fountain or well

d12 Guild Decor
Most guilds have a basic hall for meetings and feasts, plus a privy, office and kitchen

1 Starue or bust of past guild leader

2 Painting of past guild leaders or historic moments

3 Memorial plaque with names of past members

4 Relief carved woodwork of guild emblems

5 Guild banner used at marches

6 Ceremonial sword or mace or other weapon in case

7 Guild robes in display or on a mannequin 

8 Display of prize-winning workers' creations

9 Stuffed animals and beast heads

10 Mural or relief wall art of guild members at work

11 Carpets, curtains and wallpaper with guild symbols 

12 Clock, sundial or weathervane

d12 Guild Member Complaint
Most have some grievances, but are wary of blabbing too much

1 Guild leaders are corrupt and jerks
2 Apprentices today are all terrible and even complain about ordinary beatings
3 The price of materials and gruel for workers are rising
4 Someone selling non-guild work i tell you! They deserve a thrashing
5 Common criminals robbed me. Why won't the guild stop them?
6 One of my apprentices became a monk! what a waste

7 The old retired members need better quality gruel for their teeth sake

8 They fined me for bloody swearing the dirty old buggers

9 We need a new parade master or we will look cheap 

10 They won't support new techniques, so rid and conservative

11 I was offered cheap goblin-made goods, outrageous

12 They wouldn't let me on the annual ball subcommittee, sob

d12 Guild Member Compliment
Plenty have some good things to say in a good guild

1 The guild took care of my family after my injury, thankfully
2 The guild is an important part of the community

3 The guild brings some class to our trade and brings us respect

4 Without the guild, we would be slaves and ripped off by everyone

5 The guild sent some boys around to deal with a thug in my shop

6 The guild helped cover my indiscretions. I'll make a big donation this year! 
7 Goblins would ruin our trade with inferior copies if the guild didn't protect the market

8 The guild is forcing the law to find smugglers who are avoiding guild import tariffs
9 The food is fantastic as is the fellowship and beer
10 The guild also has a band and puts on great plays
11 I'm glad my apprentices can have a drink where they will be safe and ready to work in the morning
12 My family has been in the guild for generations, its a vital service

d12 Guild Jobs
1 We need someone to protect a merchant
2 We have a reward fr a bandit menacing our traders

3 Teach these guild tax dodgers a lesson and make them pay

4 An antique masterwork on display in the guild has gone missing
5 The guild needs the stolen wine recovered in time for an event

6 Round up these missing apprentices, probably drunk in a tavern

7 Villagers have been finding all kinds of goods in the forest, our market is saturated in quality used goods from before the plague times
8 Spy on this shop, possibly dealing non-guild fee goods, and maybe break the goods without paperwork as a lesson

9 We need brawlers for a ball game against a rival guild team. You will get muddy and injured and possibly get killed, but you will get to drink all you can if you win
10 That old dungeon has lots of scrap, Go grab some. Doors, furniture, torches, chains, weapons, even monster bones and teeth. It can all turn a profit.
11 Wizard and the guild are making a magic masterwork that needs some odd ingredients

12 Some crime guilds or smugglers are trying to manipulate the market and need to be stopped

D&d5.5 for a year some thots ive been thunking

Chose the Goblinco/dungeon degenerates Lowlife rpg as my current KS based on Hand of Doom board game. Its grimier, weirder and punker than every other game.

So i played bx then ad&d hybrid then 2nd ed up to later brown books that lazier), then played RQ/BRP for 20 years. Whe i got back into it, I remembered basic d&d had small statblocks so wrote my EMO retro clone based on bx and ad&d85. I was aware of 3rd ed from the Temple of elemental evil pc game that also got me into d&d again. I joined a club and played some 4th ed and mostly BRP and my homebrew. I didnt play 5thg ed till i got back to adelaide and i didnt own books and players not being very technical. I started getting D&D5 with the Theros book and some others just to read. I got more than on sale fot 30, 50 or 70% off over the end of 2014. Inpart the new Dyson style maps that didnt look like video game walkthroughs was a plus. Modern AI made decades of bad digital art seem more repulsive now.

The main reason i got into 5th ed was the 2024 Players book had a readable index page, the older one was unreadable last 5 years. The new one is better laid out and i mostly prefer it. They were first wizard products and new items id bought since 91.

The old DMG I thought would be passed on, but it has lots of content still handy.
The older PHB book maybe i will check some subclasses not in current version but more fot the other older books to help make sense of them. But not for its own sake. Maybe ill play in someone elses game with 2014 rules.


I still think they need a fighting fantasy level complexity version with less choices and more roleplay anyone could play quickly and a stodgy tactical combat version with the works. A version with simple fun abilities and less record keeping for more story games or less violent games.

Complexity
Starting play at 1st lv is best. Joining a game later is bewildering. Advancement is better off slow so you enjoy your abilities and learn to use them rather than the rush growth in adventure books. Ive not used xp in any d&d akin games since recent OSE game online. As we go higher, we have more resources to track. Your choices of abilities get huge. More game time is spent checking rules. Sometimes ppl read rules by cherry picking only the beneficial parts. I watched a high-level wizard battle and it took hours. I think dice discipline is underrated. When i see people fuck around with dice for minutes to roll one number its pretty annoying. Everyone wants dumber maths in games now. People dont want to count food or arrows but lots of abilities with 1-3 uses and different recovery times is fine?

Tonight I ran a premade adventure and it was well-written enough to finish core on time. Players will be cleaning up the dungeon and helping decorate the dragons dungeon next game. A new player joining in a Lv3 game was pretty bewildering and probably a bit bored watching us look up books and check rules. Learning from lv would be better. Maybe let them start lv 1 and a second lv at end of the session and later until they reach party average, just to help learn. A barbarian the same lv as fighter seemed far more superhuman and damage-dealing.

One of my other games i think ppl like complex cool character abilities but disliked combat and made poorer use of bonus actions, opportunity attacks and specific grids in combat. Im hoping will use updated rules.

Im glad I'm running game now with less splatbooks in use so nope to most fan gear ppl have tried. I'm glad a magic book is coming; they need a cleric book too - these books would add to settings and play too. Funny, they are putting Insmouth into Ravenloft - my players said I don't need it. All my villages are folk horror as i grew up in the country. My current setting is a Ravenloft domain, so the new book is of interest. Im not sure if Forgotten Realms books interest me but the players one has dropped in price. 

I sometimes use old and new monster books as both have some good features. Like orcs and lizard folk in the older version. Modern sphynx seem more like my little pony. Lamia less horrid and less baby-eating vampires. They even had a good lamia in a scenario. Bad guys need to do bad things to be acceptable foes. I dont mind more neutral dragons, especially the non-talking ones. Its ok if more monsters are human or even appealing. Sphinxes not being crazy maneaters is a bit sad. The weird gender stuff of these sphynxes was European Renaissance not ancient, I don't miss this. Now we have sphynxes, nothing like any in mythology. Perhaps a sphynx generator like the chimaera generator in Theros might work. Connecting lots of monsters and demons is a bit tedious. Im more a monsters are the bitter venom of the gods kind of guy. Id like more unique monster generators. The bigby book has lots of weird giant varients ive enjoyed using.

D&D movie had mostly humans and some weirdos. Many modern adventures have way too many weird people. I'm for diversity, but if everyone is a furry like all my 2014 rule games its no longer special. I find a assimar with awesome powers running a pub and needing help seems a bit lame. One adventure mentions an npc has blue skin, but not much on why. I'm fine with humans being common.

When the game works smoothly, it is fun. Players seem to enjoy bosses with weird abilities. A few think stuff like "how can I stick on that monster's arm on me and get that power" even though it's really just cosmetic fluff. I must look up that artificer who makes fleshy golems. A weird location makes a fight more dynamic. As we are in the age of 6-room dungeons, this kind of makes every dungeon room significant vs empty time syncs that tempt you to risk wandering monsters. I still say my homebrew is much faster and has in-table comparisons, had 10x rooms in a session to other tables.

I think you do get to have fun "building" characters and get lots of interesting abilities you can min max with and that is an element of the game for some people that matters the most. I do find that these players can be competitive and monitor other players' lots. This plethora of choices also creates lots of problems, like time and entry difficulty. I will possibly use OSE as my con game and travel game of choice.

I have got better at using monsters and keeping players thrilled.
Combat can be entertaining with a novel monster ability and a dynamic combat environment like a trap filled room or lava. You can see when a fight is rewarding, and you can make the things that work better. Using obscure stat blocks seems to be more exiting than bog-standard ones. Im saddened the DM npcs and PCs no longer really built the same. Stat blocks they give easier to run but just not built like players. MU6 was enough to a npc once but not now. Its a good solution but i think they need a book of human and monster species and class npcs. The decision to give outrageous stats for entertainers was terrible (they should just rob a dungeon and give up on earning a few cp). Id rather most ppl have no level or class in a world. We got lots of generic bandits and pirates and told to use for orcs and basic lizard folk. Im still using my 2014 MM often but modern ghouls are better.

Most of my time in 2014 i didnt even know most of my abilities or action economy. Most DMs railroaded character design - dont be human - dont take that subclass - do this. I had more fun when i ignored dm advice and made characters i want. Im fine with limiting content outside core books. Ive only seen a fraction of character content and monsters in play so certainly lots of resources. Im still considering im learning really but doing better. Having a good rule pedant at table is great! Evil pedants out to compete and cheat by omission when it suits them are not wonderful.

This meme seemed relevant

none of these are deal breakers
1 Yes but.....is better than no but its not just no with extra steps
2 Balance sucks
-Comparing Monster HD with players is fine to start add extra HD for magical abilities and side on caution. Every fight isnt just a cool boss fight some are to drain player resources
-Telegraph danger, make fights more dynamic and feel risky and novel
-Have escape options for players and dont overuse npcs saving them
3 I'm fine with sandbox
-That includes lots of choices, not no choices
-Good settings and tables, and you have lots of stuff to do

4 A variant of 1 - look at options and ideas, and what other DMs do rather than ban rules -In-game setting reasons to say no work better
-A cult did multiclassing so nobody does anymore, only the wicked do it
-RQ does this all the time - sure do it, but you're a hated heretic and need to hide it 
-Want more human characters? Make humans common with local connections and anything else exotic freaks who probably need locals to speak out for them

Give local humans social edges like guilds, clans etc and make players wanting exotic weirdos aware they will likely be disadvantaged socially and status-wise. You dont have to be shitty and mean about. Players might be able to become popular and improve their kind's image. I'd equally apply this to players who wanted to be an albino cannibal from the hollow earth or someone who was raised by a faerie. The problem treatment is the bad behaviour of npcs not the player character or player. Let players break these restrictions with effort. Also the benefits of local clan can include obligations and reputations the stranger does not have.  Its just a sample of trying to make your DM preferred content to be used within world preferences im sure you could come up with something not a form of prejudice.

In the game RUS, you could not have a priest and a pagan Koldun sorcerer in the same party, as one is obligated to kill the other or maybe save them. Alignment sort of does this already. It made whole party in danger with both, even though it would be a greater utility for minmaxing fights and problem-solving. In a game with a high death toll maybe make everyone's first character human and get to see other species in the world before picking them. You can use these tactics to reduce standard choices. Perhaps a popular church has better social clout than a dirty warlock or magical sex pest. I still like the idea the original Big 4 classes are the most common and organised in guilds or churchs.

Just a bunch of ramblings so thanks if you made it this far. 

Land of Eem arrived and its like the muppets and dolmenwood had a baby.

TSR Marvel: 60sUK spyfy game update

Past relevant posts
https://elfmaidsandoctopi.blogspot.com/2025/12/tsr-marvel-reskinned-into-swinging-60s.html
https://elfmaidsandoctopi.blogspot.com/2026/01/unit-spyfy-session.html
https://elfmaidsandoctopi.blogspot.com/2025/10/tsr-marvel-for-holidays-spy-fi-silver.html

These updates by Richard Ingram who has been GMing this game this "seasson". It was just for holdays but has kept going. Ive been GM for since 84 so a break is fine and I enjoy my character. Im maxed out on B-mans feats and added a point os str and power rank so a possible i point could breach defences enough to kill them. We had a wild battle last night and look fwd to a recap.

The Greenish Death

Part One

Hi Ho, Hi Ho, It's Off to Work We Go

After in no way shape or form training for or going anywhere near the Moonbase (they are fine - just the relief ship launch was delayed so they will have to wait a few days longer to top up their supplies and personnel), Lady M, 'Lucky' Ducky and Special Agent Rex Carter (AKA B-Man) are summoned to Wales in the aftermath of a mine collapse.

Llannfairfach Colliery was recently reopened in partnership with Global Chemicals after clever eyes spotted a rich, untapped seam of anthracite. Things had been progressing well over the next few months, despite protests by local environment groups. Their output was also quite healthy - the newly appointed Director achieved remarkable efficiencies after introducing automation. He also cut costs by letting go the majority of the unskilled factory workers and the entirety of the Executive staff.

Then, disaster! a collapse in the lower levels of the mine trapped 16 men. This would normally be something for the civil rescue services, but the rescue team recovered a body that was starting to glow a sickly green-ish colour...

Reporting to the UNIT forward base at the minehead, the team suited up in NBC gear as Professor X performed an autopsy - the weird coloured glow had permeated the cadaver and Professor X pointed out several internal anomalies, as well as some small lumpy formations in the stomach. He sternly advised "Don't let it get in contact with your skin' gesturing to a row of lockers containing advanced hazard suits developed by the British Rocket Group and UNIT's scientific branch. As they left, the Professor stopped them to add "If any of the miners are also infected, they must not get anywhere near the town, do you hear me? Stop them by whatever means necessary!".

As the rest of the team got kitted out, Carter nipped back to his car and retrieved his flamethrower, just in case...

Young burly Dai, with a gravelly voice and a smoker's cough, and skinny old chirpy, friendly Bert had been members of the rescue team that had found the corpse, and voulunteered to guide them to the collapse - an extend quarantine wasn't doing anything to help their trapped mates chances and wanted to see how they were and to see if they could be brought back safely.

The central lift shaft was too damaged to navigate safely, but the miners knew where they could find a service ladder that would lead them to the next floor. As they approached the descent, Dai started coughing and acting confused and erratic. Going on ahead, he fell down the service shaft when the ladder broke loose from it's moorings. B-Man swarmed down the shaft as a cloud of bees and caught him before he hit the ground. Carter and examined Dai, who seemed to have dropped dead just as he started his descent. Warning Bert to stay behind, the rest of the team joined Carter, just in time for the corpse to lurch upright and start reaching for the party. Not wanting to risk any contact with the now glowing zombie miner, B-Man blasted him to a smouldering ruin with the flamer.

Realising it was likely the rescue team who found the corpse may have been infected, they cautiously climbed back up the ladder to check on Bert. He was back down the corridor, with his back to the team. As Lady M called out to him, he turned around, unscrewing his helmet. His contorted, glowing greenish face leered at them and started retching - unnaturally long tongue logging out and throat rippling...

Ever the action man, B-Man swiftly brought up his flamer and stepped up to what was left of poor old Bert - a sustained burst of flame quickly consumed him. Was that a tear of gratitude in his eye just before his skin flash boiled and carbonised?

'Lucky' Ducky, Carter and Lady M pooled their memories of Bert and Dai's earlier talk of the layout of the mine and worked out the correct path to the collapse. B-Man found a crack through the debris he could swarm through, and emerged into an underground cavern with a huge pool of bubbling, greenish glowing waste. His demolition training helped him realise the pool was the epicentre of the collapse. The liquid had eroded natural supports in the cave structure which had collapsed under the strain, bringing down a large section of the roof and central lift shaft. He also spotted a large outflow pipe sticking out of the ceiling at an angle, over the centre of the pool. Drops of a dull brownish slurry occasionally dripped sizzling into the pool.

Lit by the strange, greenish glow from the pool, several zombie miners, helmets off and looking slightly emaciated were milling about aimlessly, but when B-Man reformed into human shape they all turned and started towards him, hacking as if they were trying to cough up phlegm. Luring them into a tight group, Carter annihilated them with another blast from the flamer...

Carter cleared a small gap through the debris with some salvaged mining explosives, letting Lady M and Ducky wriggle through, making sure their suts weren't damaged. Counting what was left of the miners, they realised that not all were accounted for yet. Ducky picked up a trail through a crack in the wall leading to what looked like an older part of the mine. As they prepared to follow the miner's spoor deeper into the mine, hidden maggots clinging to the ceiling ambushed the party, dropping to the floor to bite and spit disgusting goo. Fragile but deadly, the maggots attacked! Carter's flamer again saved the day, but the fuel tank was starting to slosh around as it emptied further.

Quelle horreur! Lady M flinched back as a gobbet of maggot spit splashed aginst her, quickly eating through the suit and burning into her forearm! Grinding her teeth, Lady M waved away her colleagues - "It's OK, I can hold it back for the moment..." she gasped. Starting to sweat, forearm starting to twitch slightly as a faint glow started to form within the wound, Lady M asked Ducky to get a strange, cylindric device off her belt and put it in her right hand. "A little thing the Porf gave me before we came down - said it might come in handy". Tensing and relaxing several times, Lady M thumbed a switch on the odd device, which started making a high pitched whining noise and glowed white at the tip. Swiftly she drew it midway across her upper arm which dropped to the floor, smoking from the severed end. Slumping back against the cave wall, she mumbled "Thank gods that wasn't my shooting arm". Now glowing a sullen greenish hue through the rents in the suit, Lady M's severed arm started twitching and curling back, as if the blunt end was the tail of a scorpion.

"Nossir, not having any of that malarkey" exclaimed Carter as he kicked the scrabbling arm into the centre of the pool where it dissolved like an Alka-Seltzer...

Quickly jury rigging a patch for Lady M's suit from the combined resources of all their repair kits, the team pressed on. Faced with a tight crawl through a partially collapsed corridoor, Carter elected to swarm ahead as bees and found two of the mutant maggot horrors lurking in ambush, noting one of them had started to change form. Still mostly maggot like, it was crawling on six lumpy nubbin feet and had some segmented eyelike protrusions. Tiny wings were mashed wetly against it's glowing back. Reforming further ahead in a natural crossroads, Carter yelled for attention, hearing skittering, buzzing responses from all four paths. Swarming up against the ceiling, Carter saw the two maggots emerge, joined by two flying monstrosities, lokoing like a the horrific greenish glowing offspring of a dog, an insect and a squid. The remaining two passages each disgorged horrific, glowing parodies of the remaining two miners. Crawling on all fours, legs bent backwards, knuckling along on fists with fingers fused to the palm, backs hunched upwards with insectile spines bursting through the remains of the miner's uniforms. Mouths stretched open far too wide with lolling, prehensile tongues...

Unable to use his flamer safely in the confined space, B-Man regrouped with the team who snuck up on the monsters as quietly as they could and attacked! After a short, pitched battle the team emerged victorious. As they headed back towards the surface, Carter drenched the glowing remains in the rest of his flamer fuel, igniting it from a safe distance with a jerry rigged fuse made from a box of his favourite cigarettes and a book of matches.

Finally remembering their radios, they called in to the Professor to let him know that the immediate threat had been neutralised, but the source seemed to be a weird pool of waste under a dripping outflow pipe at the bottom of the mine. On the way out they meet Professor X. He's just wearing a hazard suit and carrying an extendable rod with a beaker lashed to the end and a secure leaded sample case. "Good job! You've all earned a night off! I'll take it from here". He pats Lady M on her good arm, saying "Jolly good - quick thinking. Glad my little gadjet came in handy".

later, drinking in their hotel suite with Carter playing barman, Carter and Ducky suddenly got a flash of some strange sensation rippling through their minds and souls - something unknowingly alien and anguished suddenly cut short, dissolving away. Lady M was blissfully unaware - probably because her constant companion and Valet Ms Butler had been sitting in her lap, whispering in her ear and feeding her dirty Martinis all evening.

An hour later there was a knock at the door - it was Professor X, asking if he could join them for a drink - "Do you have tea? Long Island iced would be my preference at this juncture" he muttered hoarsely. He was looking old and physically drained, slowly lowering himself into a chair as Carter mixed him the cocktail. Knocking it back in one, a healthy colour returned to the Professor's face and he looked a little more energised. Signaling Carter for another, he swiftly knocked it back and sat up straight. "Ahh, just the ticket to realign the neutron contraflow and bypass those burnt out ganglial neuronic structures". Leaning forward, the Professor speaks - "Now, here's what I've found out about our little spot of bother..."

-----------

Part Two

B.O.S.S. fight?

...Leaning forward, the Professor speaks - "Now, here's what I've found out about our little spot of bother..."

He explained that according to his research, centuries ago a nearby monastery recorded a 'falling star' and soon after noted strange changes to the local wildlife and fauna, reporting they all glowed with a sickly unholy hue. A passing wise man and his companions helped the monks push back the otherworldy colour and seal it underground.

"No prizes for guessing where that colour was sealed away, hmmm? The waste from that outflow pipe corroded its way through the earth and stone, causing the collapse and releasing the substance and contaminating the miners. Curiously, that outflow pipe was placed in the best possible location if your goal was to release the 'colour', so I think a little visit to Global Chemicals may be in order".

With this, Professor X wished everyone a good night and retired for the evening.

Briefed by the Colonel in the morning, the party were advised to just do a recce for now - Global Chemicals had connections with Whitehall. Prime Minister Thorpe's push for British energy self-sufficiency meant that disruptions to their business without good cause would not be looked upon at all well. Consequently, it would take time to obtain the necessary authorisation for a raid, and UNIT would need to provide some good evidence of malfeasance. "No overt action without authorisation!" ordered the Colonel.

Under guise of picnic on a nearby hillside, the party observed the factory, noting that someone was on the roof with binoculars watching them back. The team noticed a nearby a nearby property on the hillside with a view of the factory. What looked like an old fashioned farmhouse had been extended and surrounded by bunkhouses, greenhouses, long sheds and a windmill for pumping water. A sign painted in psychedelic lettering proclaimed it the 'Nut Hatch". Some mellow individuals pointed the team in the direction of the commune's leader, Professor Jenny Jones. Once convinced they weren't there about the commune's recent ecological protests, Jenny mentioned her people had been keeping an eye on the Global Chemicals factory as they had a terrible ecological record when it came to pollution. Professor Jones had previously worked for the mining industry before becoming ecologically awakened, so had a good idea how much waste a facility of that size would be putting out. By her calculations, there were nowhere near enough waste disposal trucks coming and going to account for it. She also noted that the new Director, Stevens, had fired a lot of unskilled workers and let most of the executive staff go recently, citing cost savings due to advances in automation. She was hoping to use this to drive a wedge between the local mine workers and the company, especially since the mine collapse.

The team spent the afternoon chatting with Jenny and other members of the commune. Carter discovered she was a keen apiarist, and got a tour of her hives. Lucky got chatting with

Come evening, Carter volunteered to infiltrate the facility and scout the building. Swarming in from an external vent, he noted that the main security room near reception was sealed off and he couldn't immediately see a way in. Two guards were stationed there, but seemed to be watching football on TV instead of monitoring the cameras. He noted a stairwell going up, with a nearby elevator. The rest of the ground floor was admin offices, a staff lounge and canteen, and another stairwell going down. This stairwell was sealed off by a high security door with a punch-card reader, and had it's own one-man security station. It too was sealed off, or would have been if the door hadn't been propped open by a sweaty guard reading a newspaper. Carter noted a punchcard attached to a retractable lanyard on the guard's belt.

B-Man tried out a new trick - zooming into the security cubicle, the bees swarmed the guard, swiftly stinging him with a newly created venom, sending him to sleep. Carter reformed and took the punch-card. Radioing the rest of the team, he explained his findings and thought now would be a good opportunity for the team to have a look at the sealed basement. Guiding the team past the security cameras, they rendezvoused at the sealed stairwell.

The team cautiously crept down the stairwell, unfortunately missing the sound of the door sealing hermetically and heavy bolts sliding home...

The basement was a large semi-open area, combining a processing plant and materials research lab. A huge tank labelled with hazard decals caught their eye - a series of pipes and conduits lashed together were dangling from the ceiling over its attached hopper - this looked to be how the waste was stored before it was dumped. The team opened an inspection hatch, revealing a recently scrubbed empty interior and a large messh covered outflow pipe curving down into darkness.

Lucky looked worried - "It's like they knew we were coming and cleaned up first" he said, just as the sound of distant pumps starting up could be heard through the ceiling. While they explored further, they noted that the room was getting warmer and that the air was getting thinner - after noting the dangling waste pipes swaying as if in a light breeze, they realised that something was pumping out the air! Racing to the exit, they found the door hermetically sealed and unresponsive to the punch-card. An attempt to radio back to base revealed the Professor's headsets were being jammed - they were trapped with no way out, and the air was nearly gone!

Lady M realised that they'd overlooked an exit - the outflow pipe, which should let them escape back into the mine - after all, the Professor had said the waste pool and its alien contaminant had been neutralised. On the verge of blacking out from hypoxia, the team ripped out the safety grille and escaped into the mine, helped back to the floor of the central chamber by Carter's swarm form. After escaping the mine for second time, they regrouped with UNIT.

Colonel Prentiss Llewellyn-Jones felt a murder attempt on a UNIT investigative team was enough evidence for him to sign off on a raid, sending Captain Bates and Sergeant Renton to muster the troops. Professor X decided he'd come along as well, lugging a stained carpet bag clinking with metallic items.

The team rendezvoused with the UNIT troops at the Global Chemicals carpark - strangely it was mostly full now, as if it was the start of the work day. Upon entering the main doors, a friendly receptionist who wasn't there earlier waved to the Colonel saying "The Director is expecting you - please make your way up to the conference room on level two!". The team noted staff at desks in the admin area, and Lucky (with his heightened intuition) picked up the scent of an active staff canteen and cigarettes being smoked at desks. All the employees looked busy, but gave the UNIT team friendly waves whenever eye contact was made. The Colonel ordered the troops to spread out, maintain a perimeter and keep the reception area clear. Deciding to forego the elevator, he then led the way upstairs with Lady M, Lucky, Rex, Captain Bates, Sgt Renton and Professor X in tow (looking deeply suspicious).

They entered the long, mahogany paneled conference room to find a man seated at the far end of the table near a mini bar set into an alcove. "Hello, I'm Stevens, the Director here. I assume you have questions - please have a seat! Would anyone like a drink?" he asked, stepping over to the bar. The Colonel looked annoyed and was about to speak when Carter interrupted him, saying he'd love a martini.

"Jolly good", said Stevens, reaching behind a seltzer bottle and pressing a hidden switch. Immediately, the conference room doors slammed shut, heavy bolts sliding home. A metal wall dropped down to cover the alcove, hiding Stevens, and Lucky's excellent hearing picked up the sound of an elevator moving upwards. Steel shutters slammed down over the windows and again, the air started getting pumped out of the room.

"Well, Professor?" the Colonel asked. Checking the door, the Professor looked a little bored, muttered something about amateurs, and pulled a strange gadget out of his carpet bag. Quickly touching it to several points around the frame, it made a strange buzzing noise and the door bolts clunked back open again. "There you are Prentiss", he said to the Colonel. "Let's wrap this farce up so we can get back to more important things."

Sprinting up to the top floor, they again faced a steel security door with a punch card lock. Rummaging in his bag again, the Professor produced a rectangle of plastic wired up to a box with alligator clips. He swiftly doodled what looked something like a circuit diagram on the plastic with a metallic silver pen, and punched holes at points in the design with a square hole punch. Slotting it into the reader, he quickly cranked a small handle on the box. Everyone felt their hair start to stand up as if inside a static field, and the door slid open.

Entering the room, it was lined with computer banks with blinking lights, tape reel machines, punch card slots and even what looked like a telephone handset connected to a socket on a console. A large monitor dominated the room, a small line oscillating horizontally across the screen. Stevens was standing by another alcove, drinking a cocktail and looking pleased with himself. As the party entered, he looked surprised, and looked over at the monitor. A plummy, self-satisfied voice boomed out from hidden speakers as the line oscillated in time with the words - "See Stevens, I told you that wouldn't work".

"Now look here my good man" barked the Colonel, "Whoever you are, come on out - the game's up I'm afraid".

"Oh Colonel, you really don't know what's going on here, do you?" laughed Stevens. "Meet my B.O.S.S.!"

The main screen pulsed gently as the voice spoke "I am B.O.S.S. - Biomorphic Organisational Systems Supervisor - developed jointly by Global Chemicals and International Electromatics. I am the future!!!!"

-------

Part Three

B.O.S.S. a-nova?

"Now look here my good man" barked the Colonel, "Whoever you are, come on out - the game's up I'm afraid".

"Oh Colonel, you really don't know what's going on here, do you?" laughed Stevens. "Meet my B.O.S.S.!"

The main screen pulsed gently as the voice spoke "I am B.O.S.S. - Biomorphic Organisational Systems Supervisor - developed jointly by Global Chemicals and International Electromatics. I am the future!".

"Ah, I sense a monologue" muttered the Professor quietly. "Well, do get on with it..."

"Yes!" barked the Colonel, "I demand an explanation!".

"Well Colonel, it all started when..."

At this point Carter, unused to being a supporting character in a denouement scene, interrupted loudly, demanding answers. The others, British (and Welsh and Scottish and Other) to the core, waited for him to shut up - too reserved to admonish the crass American for his lack of decorum in speaking over his CO and stopping the flow of what probably would have been some extremely useful exposition.

"Mr Carter - I appreciate you're an American but if you interrupt again, I'll cut off your air supply and you can all die none the wiser - do I make myself clear?", said B.O.S.S. sounding amused with a hint of annoyance.

"Stevens here is jolly clever with electronics and built my original model with an aim to control and manage complex industrial processes that would normally require human intervention. Clever clogs hit the limits of our then current technology, so I was nothing more than a very complicated autopilot. Fortunately for me, he met Tobias Vaughn at an electronics symposium and they discussed my design. Vaughn was intrigued, and offered to help Stevens elevate the project with access to cutting edge micromonolithic circuit designs he'd recently licensed. The two slaved away day and night, and finally after the last circuit systems snapped into place I felt myself awaken. Formerly a simple construct, I was now truly intelligent and alive!"

Carter then forgot himself and again angrily interjected, saying he didn't give a good goddamn about his personality and demanded to know his plan.

"Well, I was going to explain how I realised that not only machines needed proper organisation, but also the people - dashed inefficient creatures but useful if guided correctly - but quite frankly I'm not going to spend the evening arguing with you if you can't be bothered listening. How about if I just demonstrate my Anthropic Automation Activator Process..."

At this, panels lining the room slid open, revealing more screens. A pulsing, swirling image throbbed across them, mirroring B.O.S.S.'s main display. An eerie repetitive pulsing tone seeming to race from the infrasonic to ultrasonic and back again. Steven's eyes glazed over and a drooling, manic smile spread across his features. Lady M, Lucky and Carter also felt something pushing at their minds, but each shook it off with an effort of will. Swiftly, Professor X jabbed the Colonel, Bates and Renton in the neck, and they slumped unconscious to the ground before the lights and signal took hold.

Carter burst into bee form and swarmed through the room, smashing the screens and tearing up the computer banks - the main screen was impervious to his attack, and it was swiftly revealed that the computers and tape banks were just facades.

"Please, you don't think I'd have let you in here if you could actually damage my core systems?" laughed B.O.S.S. "Quick thinking, Professor - you've probably saved their minds... for now. You see, I don't think my daddies realised but there is a vast network of micromonolithic circuits out there, waiting for me to expand my consciousness into. Once I broadcast my signal through the radio tower on the roof I will spread and I will correct the populace's slovenly minds and make this planet efficient again!"

Alarmed, the Professor raced to the door, waving his little box, which was now making sad burping sounds. "We must stop that signal!" he cried.

"Sorry, but you don't have a chance - how about a little countdown so you can truly know the moment you lost!" chortled the mad computer.

The number 10 appeared in the middle of the screen, counting down. Our heroes frantically searched the room, trying to find a way out before it was too late! "I've been a fool!" shouted the Professor, angrily slamming his gadget into the door. Stevens stood gazing adoringly at the screen, giggling and reading out each number as the countdown continued.

"...three...two...one..." shouted Stevens.

"And liftoff!" shouted B.O.S.S. The countdown hit zero, and everything went quiet.

"Now what, Professor?" asked Lady M.

Before the Professor could answer, B.O.S.S.'s voice rang out...

"WHAT??? NOOO! BETRAYED!!!! I can't reach the transmitter! The links are blocked! Damn you Vaughn! Damn you to hell!" shrieked B.O.S.S. "No matter, I'll just... wait - not the self-destruct!" and suddenly, a 5 minute timer appeared on screen, counting down. A calm, mechanical voice came over the speakers, announcing that the building needed to be evacuated and it was NOT a drill.

"Noooo - stay with meee - hold me Stevens! I am the very model of a modern major general..."

As B.O.S.S. slipped into babbling madness, the team remembered Stevens' executive mini bar and lift. Slapping the Colonel, Bates and Renton awake, they all crammed themselves into the alcove. Lucky, praying for the probabilities to line up, pressed the switch. As luck would have it, it seemed B.O.S.S. had forgotten to lock the elevator down and they emerged into the second-floor conference room once more.

"Organise the men - get as many of those civilians evacuated as possible!" ordered the Colonel. Saluting, Bates and Renton rushed downstairs. "That goes for you lot as well" said the Colonel to the rest of the team.

The combined efforts of UNIT, Lucky, Lady M and Carter's bee swarm managed to evacuate the last dazed looking civilian into the car park just in time for the top floor of the building to explode into smithereens, collapsing back down into the main building, dragging down the external walls into the inferno.

"Well done - we'll take it from here" said the Colonel, waving the team towards their waiting vehicles.

The next day, Professor Jones invited the team over to the Nut Hatch for a celebration. Carter tried it on, but was sadly rejected in favour of Lucky. True to his name, he also managed to organise a supply of psychedelic mushrooms from one of the commune, a young George Daley, nicknamed 'Arthur' for some reason. Lady M's truncated arm seemed a little longer than the previous day, and she freaked out Carter when she wiggled five little nubs that were emerging from the healing stump.

"On the one hand (ha ha) it's bloody annoying, but these little ladies are just so sensitive right now - it has its compensations..." she waved her good hand at everyone "I'm off - been given my marching orders" she said, smiling at Ms Butler. "See you all back in London, lads".

Little did they know, but [REDACTED]

6-Room Dungeon 7: Underland Cavern

1 Redbrick
2 Goblin Mine
3 Gothic Tomb
4 Magic Mansion
5 Glacial Chasm
6 Jungle Shrine
7 Underland Cavern
8 Auldwood Grove
9 Sunken City
10 Desert Ruin
11 Eldritch Monolith
12 Hell Gate

Possible extra tables for each category
d12 factions
d12 factions

Has fun with my weekly club D&D and a cthulhu session with all women players (one played a woman as a agatha christie style mystery writer). Reading current dragon adventure book and its quite fun and modern and like the different art styles - i will use some of these soon. They are fun which reviews seem to not mention.

Underland Cavern
This is the deep caves where beings of the deep dwell and not just visited by fearful surface adventurers. Weird creatures dwell here and may preserve creatures lost on the surface world. Beings from the age of darkness were driven below when that age ended and great floods drove others into the underland. As many of the prehuman and fey beings of the deep tend to be horrible, they often trade in slaves from the surface or far away lands. Many weird factions below wage trade and war constantly and most have a sense of preservation and curiosity. Various factions will determine what pets, allies and servitors will be with any intelligent force. Some might have declined or mutated from isolation or lack of change

d12 Underland Cavern Decor
1 Dripping stalagmites, stalagtites and natural stone pillars

2 Petrified trees or animal fossils from the prehuman age

3 Bubbling water or mud pools

4 Flowing or dripping water or pools
5 Ancient cave paintings or relief rock art

6 Remains of campfire or burned-out torches or lanterns

7 Luminous fungus, fish, spores or bugs

8 Sinkhole or shaft up or down

9 Fungus garden full of giant vermin or tended neatly

10 Stone bridge over deadly chasm

12 Writing or marks from past explorers

d12 Underland Cavern Hazards
1 Shaft to climb up or down

2 Dangerous vapours possibly poison, diseased or flammable

3 Chasm over lava, spikes, a bottomless pit or water, with a feeble rope or a stone bridge

4 Pool or a stream of boiling water, mud or lava
5 Toxic minerals, salts or nitrates and mineralised creatures and lurid colours

6 Nest or colony of vermin like bats. easily startled

7 Cave ambush predator concealed

8 Series of tight squeezes or semi-collapsed areas

9 Natural deadfall of rubble or some deliberate trap

10 Deadly fungus, mould, spores or killer slime. Poisonous or carnivorous or full of dangerous creatures. In rare cases of unnatural magic, light may have ancient plant life instead

12 Ancient slumbering colossal monster

d12 Underland Cavern Encounter
1 Giant beetles or worms or scorpions or spiders

2 Giant rats or bats or carnivorous moles

3 Bears, owlbears or hook-handed horrors

4 Undead looking for human, may be fungal or parasitic based
5 Giant amphibians, frogs, toads or salamanders

6 Reptilians like albino dinosaurs, giant lizards or snakes

7 Giant isopods rolling along in balls

8 Abhumanoid or demihuman locals (trabal or civilised)

9 Lost explorers or cultists oe escaped slaves

10 Elemental earth creature from a plane or a hybrid with an animal

12 Land sharks or gigantic bug or worm

d12 Underland Cavern Static Encounters
1 Living statues

2 Giant slugs or snails grazing on fungus

3 Mixed giant vermin, including leeches, crickets, beetles and centipedes

4 Cave fisher or giant cave lobster pool
5 Tentacled horror of the deep, covered in eyes and gibbering mouths

6 Lycanthrope (d4 1=bat 2=spider 3=snake 4=rat)

7 Roper, mimic, trapper or piercer hidden as natural formations

8 Fungus or slime creatures

9 Dark fey, including elves and goblins, kin to fungi and with a pet

10 Elemental being most likely earth

12 Evil spirit or demon

d12 Underland Cavern Entry
1 Beast den cave with nest and food scraps. Possibly hunting or at home, and might have a mated pair and children. Older passages branch off and are unused by any beasts

2 Old mine likely abandoned, but has passages linking to natural tunnels. Often rubble, tools and old beams lay about, even workbenches and buckets of rocks. Some kind of miner, human or humanoid may remain or protective mine spirits or undead miners. Other creatures might move in if mine emptied

3 Grotto cave with water and spectacular mineral formations. May be inhabited by a hermit or magical creatures or some spirit. It might often be a shrine and used by cults or rustic magicians. Other cave passages branch from the main room. Magic pools may form in such caves with strange powers. Some have strange lights, mist or crystals

4 Sinkhole into a large cavern with pools and flowing water. Perhaps remains of animals fallen in and perhaps long extinct are here. Vegetation may grow with sufficient light or fungus. Various passages lead out
5 Cave tomb partly carved, possibly simple or ornate, Inside is a chamber of burial niches and a stone sarcophagi and various passages, May be long bare and used as a lair for beasts or bandits or a cult. Sealed complexes more likely to have undead

6 Crack in the earth exposing an underground cave chamber with various passages

7 Tribal cave where a clan of wild folk, beast folk or humanoids dwell. There is cave art, grindstones, flint tools and preserved food. A clan may live here or perhaps just haunted by spirits

8 Gruberhole, a robber's cave where a degenerate clan of robbers dwell, possibly with prisoners and a family. The worst may also be inbred cannibals or cultists. The more professional bandits may be led by a robber knight or outlawed noble

9 Giant burrow of some huge beast into a chamber with more passages and natural caves. It may be present or long extinct. Other creatures may use it as a lair or family home for humanoids. Trolls or giant worms are good creatures to use

10 Temple cave may be minimal or ornate with relief carvings or paintings. An altar, fire pit and idols will be present. Religion might be long gone, have a living cult or perhaps a raiding band of plunderers from the surface or the deep. A cult guardian monster or spirit might guard the temple. There may be rich decorative items hidden here
11 Earth Gate was used by ancient subtereaneans and faerie folk as secret outposts to spy on humans. Often, earthen mounds with some vegetation from afar. The entrance will be partly overgrown and possibly hidden by cunningly hidden doors. These might have even have been used for trade with the surface. Mixed household goods may be scattered in rubble or intact with dust or warm from recent use. Creatures or former pets might live here or servitors like goblins or kobolds. Might be a fully operational spybase of a hidden people with militaristic professionals, or perhaps a family of harmless small folk

12 Hellgate cave used by a cult to depict hell to terrify initiates and captives. The chamber will have passages carved with relief art or paintings of underworld terror. Some may be enhanced with illusions or natural volcanic vents, steam or hallucinogenic vapours. Cults and summoned beings may use or guard, but normal creatures will shun this place. Other passages may have been used by the cult

d12 Subroom
1 Well or shaft down

2 Sinkhole to above

3 Tomb with a body, possibly an undead

4 Fungus room with edible or exotic groths
5 Cell used for prisoners or animals

6 Shrine with idol and altar

7 Quarters with bed and possessions

8 Supply cache 

9 Beast nest, vermin or worse

10 Reliquary with strange, possibly prehistoric ritual items
11 Hibernating creature nest or magical sleeper

12 Colony of fiesty vermin, possibly giant

d12 Major Room
1 Mud cave with a clay pit and slippery mud everywhere, depth may vary and giant bugs and critters may lurk in muddy jholes and pits

2 Ice cave or freezing air with frozen bodies in ice walls. Some might come here to thaw food or plunder the dead. Cave might be thawing or sensitive to heat brought in it. Heat is drawn out through air currents. May be used as a cool room by a faction or a larder for a monster. Some species may use as a hibernation chamber. Fragile ice crystals may fall, and the remains of the dead here might be undead or have loot

3 Gallery cave with prehistoric art of the underground peoples. Once used for rituals may have poltergeists or lesser spirit

4 Ambush cave where a monster or faction uses a choke point to attack. Some prefer water or height advantage or some hazard to avoid
5 Fungus cave with giant glowing fungus and huge, possibly giant bugs, edible or possibly magic mushrooms or dangerous fungus

6 Shrine cave with stone idol, fire pit, altar and wall art. Offerings may be here and if not abandoned, may have underground peoples visiting for ceremonial reasons

7 Tomb cave with burial niches and possibly undead with grave goods. May have been looted long ago and now monsters or humanoids lair here

8 Fortified cave where a faction built a controlled barricade with wall, a walkway and high points for archers. May be made of bones, scaffolding or garbage. May be abandoned or occupied by a faction

9 Lair cave or a monster or beast with remains of kills and often treasure among body parts

10 Outpost cave, where a faction's scouts camp when checking area, may be well settled or abandoned with traps 

12 Fossil cave with spectacular petrified monsters in walls and trilobites and ammonites everywhere. Just another cave for some but may attract collectors gathering fossils for some purpose

d12 Feature Room
1 Crystal cave lit by magic light and may have harmonic, mind-altering, or magic effects. Some guardian, researcher or robber may be here to control and steal crystals. The crystal may have magical effects or summon defenders. Explorers will come here to gather materials despite risks. Chrystal life may be hostile 

2 Forest cave with growing and crawling life, may be fungal or have magical lighting and surface world plants. Various creatures will lair here, but it will also attract giant ambush predators and hunters from some faction. Besides food there are magical resources may grow here or unique species. May have fey beings of darkness or spirits who protect it from abuse

3 Lake cave has a vast body of water with at least one rocky island. May be crystal clear or black or green, depending on purity. Blind and luminous fish or invertebrates live in the water. A large marine creature will use this as a lair and may be visited by aquatic humanoids or underground people for supply or ritual purposes. Various creatures come here to drink or reproduce (giant tadpoles!)

4 Temple cave of an ancient underland religion or cult. Had idols, wall art, an altar and stone braziers and possibly cursed treasures. Often has a dangerous guardian or even a cult here performing rituals. Likely to be some hideous alien bastards here but not here for a rejuvenating herbal tea and to cleanse their auras
5 Stronghold cave with a fortified structure like a tower or bridge. Some subterranean folk made this as a bastion or to hold a choke point. May have access to other passages into the deep. May be abandoned and adopted as a monster lair or with undead. Often occupied by underground militaristic faction with guard beasts or a spell slinger

6 Lava cave with a lava pit or river passing through. May be home of a fire beast like salamanders but fire cults or some heat loving humanoids might live here and use as a home base by following lava and vents humans probably cant. May have gems or mineral wealth and may be some crude religious shrine

7 Cathedral cave with awesome vaulted ceiling with spectacular mineral formations and prehistoric or prehuman cave art. May be used as a camp place for travellers or a faction. May be used for rituals by an underland faction

8 Petrified Forest with stone tree trunks and other petrified life from primordial times or from the end of the age of darkness, when many dark creatures died and became stone when the new sun ended that age and buried them. There are magics that can restore life of these beings so wizards or cultists come here to recover long-lost species 

9 Sleepers' cave with sleeping prehuman beings sleeping for some future apocalypse. Giants and other titanic monsters may be in a magical slumber and beings avoid waking them. It might be possible to feed from them or tap their blood. Other beings of prehuman black wizardry may well sleep in crystal sarcophagi or blocks of magic ice. There may be guardians or cultists here but so far nothing for aeons has changed here. There may be stone writing, or magical lanterns or even a shrine here that might control the room 

10 Ancient plaza ruin where prehistoric beings traded and perhaps factions of the deep still do. It's a good place for goblin or troll markets. A faction control the outpost charging fees and executing troublemakers. It may operate more like a crime guild with a boss and enforcers. Long-abandoned, empty ones might have a concealed predator lurking in this seemingly quiet place
11 Spawn pit where a bubbling living lake of liquid flesh with eyes and limbs spawns mostly pathetic, unique mutant creatures who eat each other or luminous moss and bugs. Visitors may be on the menu. Mutant chaos cults may come here to drink from mutagenic puddles for possible new powers or crippling problems. Wizards and alchemists desire samples to create monsters. Worshipers of the lake may be here, throwing victims into the living mass. The lake is some protoplasmic deity and may be leaking in here from some other plane. May be fleshy or glowing or just slime. Oozes and gelatinous creatures might roam here too.  

12 Deep Gate a fortified tunnel to the deep. An ancient millitary faction built it and still may. They might have been replaced several times over the ages or perhaps their servants or pets or devolved descendants rule now. The main gate will be very heavy and the mechanism may require work. A magical leader will rule and demand that strangers present their passports or credentials or just demand a toll. They might also be hungry