Thursday, 14 October 2021

Leveling Up In Post Apoc Games

So in my Broken Hill Game which now I have been running several years with lots of groups and I thought I would share some of my guidlines.

Making a campaign Structure and a Sandbox

Opening Campagn
The basic plot of my Broken Hill Campaign is characters meet as youths in an isolated rural village and plan to go to the big fancy trade centre where all the merchants come and go from. In practice, each story is different because the characters will perhaps make some money for equipment and then set off down the road with daily stops in increasingly bigger settlements until they reach the end. There are variations in how this plays out. Some games some players had weirder backgrounds but it was easy to throw together and explain how they got to the Smallville.

Players Have:
Moved through each town impressing locals as do-good heroes
Hung around town a while exploring everything before moving on
Caught up in interesting sites and drama on way spending a week per town
Spent time in a few towns and eventually had own bearded dragon wagon
Worked on getting a car so rest of journey was quite fast and they hunted scrap to fix a vehicle and pooled in for biofuel

Running off the rails is good
So there is a basic plot but the campaign trail maps and tables are made so it can be replayed and will come out differently and encourages players to run off the rails and there are lots of tables to support improvisation. You could pre-roll some or do them on the fly and improvise with them as much or as little as you want.

The wilderness of frontier and small towns is a good start and you can go into as much or as little depth as you like if players will let you. Wild and village is a good range to flip between.

So once they reach the city then what?
Entering an unfamiliar threshold after being in wasteland killing or in backward farm towns should be a shock. Not sixty people, several thousand and part of a warlords domain trading and at war with other states. Besides this walled trade and craft centre, it is dependant on the older ruined city. 

Most players on arrival ended up settling one of the semi-occupied areas within a wall and found a ruin to their taste to squat. Some interacted with the farmers settling and breaking the ground of rubble for crops. Other dealt with organised crime in the main market district. A few ended up getting to deal with the warlord doing some small chores and getting some privileges. Several set up shops. Some were very keen and went straight for the ruins looking for ancient facilities with advanced technology.  

As I'm basically using a D&D engine levels are a good measure of power. In a post-apocalypse game, technology offers another power gradient. In the above cases some people say who got a car kind of went to dangerous places a bit faster than other groups. You could draw circles around your game area maps for various levels of play. Ive seen it done by a few people. Players who went slow turned up in city as hard vets and got job offers from more powerful people. Levels should help your status. Self-made fighting rulers will easily be 10th level while their softer heirs three gen later with lots of peace might drop to only a few levels.

Tech Guidelines
I use these basic tech descriptions:
Tribal - stone-age survival skills but willing to use new materials and adapt
Pre Industrial - anywhere bronze to late medieval and renaissance, blackpowder
Industrial - steam, electricity, machine guns, basic flight (preWW2) 
Atomic Age - atomic energy or weapons, jets, spaceflight, computers, electronics
Space Age - technology for age of space colonisation, clones, energy weapons

Lots of games focus on ignorant people struggling to use technology and know what it is, It can work if from a tech poor background but eventually the conciet of this becomes harder to maintain. Profesional vet scavengers should know quite a bit about ancient design and technology without much understanding of how the work. If you have not done it try and it can be fun but eventually it gets in the way.

Starting Out
Most starting players are in the first two categories. They have basic weapons of survival like hatchets, daggers, machetes and bows and crossbows will start with a good amount of ammo. A light hunting musket would start with perhaps 20 shot and ball loads. Anything with cartridges (mostly a reclaimed technology) like a .22 bolt action rifle of break open shotgun (sawn off option) would get perhaps 2d6 shots. Leather armour possibly with scrap that offers poor protection from firearms and non vs energy weapons.

Some characters come from later ages. I'm always a jerk and make space-age people unfamiliar with levers, fire, muscle power, animals and machines that don't talk. As starting characters I might have them have a one-shot disposable laser or a plastic one use printed automatic pistol. I might let them have one item of truly advanced tech like a smart suit that's always clean and a coms-watch (global network mostly gone but local calls)


Slug Guns - A large calibre electrically fired with compressed air slug gun was in common use by police, riot squads and self-defence. Large subsonic plastic or rubber or felt slug that caused less harm but could still be lethal. It couldn't pierce a spacecraft or aircraft hull and was less likely to kill. Being used ten times more often made its kill toll higher. Worse still illegal ammo and overpowered versions were made by criminals. Using one even for crime tended to draw less attention from android ant-terror kill teams. Conceptually it is the reasonably advanced weapon that won't throw out game balance even if players do make unauthorised mods. Want to use d8 instead of d6 ammo half its range. While subsonic, drawing air makes a loud crack. They need an air tank in space. Other weird ammo like teargas, dye bombs, flare, emp, or even a self-guided smart round might be possible but not as good as a normal grenade. Small explosive slugs 1m diameter per d6 and a discarding sabot flechette with double range are possible but require a skilled gun maker.

Basic d6 damage range 15/30/100m 10 shot drum, battery fires 100 rounds
-felt slug d4 standard rubber or plastic d6 basic modified lethal round d8
-some break open to load one round at a time others often have only 6 shots
-basic rebuild model does 2d6 solid slug and the battery fires 50 shots 
-superior rebuild does 3d6 and the battery fires 25 shots
-standard slugs d4 or d6 slugs stun on crit not do extra damage
-some with longer barrels with recoil absorbing stocks and basic scope double range


Below are some example tech by level as a guideline for what could be in a campaign or to help equip an NPC, enemy or a boss.

Possible Starting Technology Lv 0-1
Common rank and file will have several of these kits or just one
Three slings and all the good stones or clay bullets you want
Shortbow & arrows or Light crossbow & bolts with 20 shots, leather armour
Handgun or light musket & shot with 20 shot and ball, cloth
Spear and two javelins, dagger & shield, leather armour
Battleaxe or sword or mace, hatchet, dagger & shield, chainmail
Martial arts, staff, knife, club or single martial arts weapon
20-gauge sawn-off a shotgun, pistol grip, double-barrelled, break open, d6 rounds
..22 bolt action rifle or 38 Revolver or 9mm pistol with d6 rounds
One-shot disposable laser tube (3d6) 
Pet dog or other animals

Possible Technology Lv 2-4
Items either crude made by scavengers or printed by machines or ancient
Veterans will have gained one or two of the following
Bulk ammunition up to 100 rounds in various weapons 
Blackpowder grenades with a fuse d4
Incendiary made with fuel in a bottle, a cloth and other mixes d4
An ancient fragmentation grenade 5d6 damage
12 Guage shotgun, double barrelled or pump or magazine or drum
Sniper rifle with scope 
SMG or automatic rifle
Rocket-propelled grenade launcher d2 shots
Slug Gun but bigger magazines, modified ammo, more power, only 30 shots with chem cell
Acoustic stunner pistol
 one hydrogen cell
Civilian laser pistol or rifle with one hydrogen cell
Duralinium +1 +2 or +3 archaic edged melee weapons 
Duralinium blunt weapons bump damage one die  
Captive bolt +d6 truncheon 100 charges per chem cell
Riding horse or bearded dragon wagon (giant mutant ones obviously)
May have d6+4 lesser goons or dogs
Riot armour and helmet or ballistic vest
A motorbike, personal ground car or ultralight aircraft

Recommended Mid Level Technology Lv 5-9
Light machinegun with cassette or belt and at least 200 rounds
d4+2 various grenades
A grenade launcher or riot gun  
Flame thrower
A smart missile can e used vs aircraft or ground targets
Laser Pistol or thermal rifle or stun pistol
Monoblade double-edged weapon damage
Vibro forcefield knife or sonic knife (could be used like a spearhead on shaft) 
Minor energy weapon usually a pistol, robot followers, various one or limited use
Some advanced light armour resistant to ballistic and energy weapons
A gang of a dozen goons
Drone usually scout, bomb or gun type
Advanced combat armour like mesh or reflect or impact
A basic robot or a weird mutant or psionic companion

Recommended HighTechnology Lv 10+
Laser rifle or other energy weapon or vibro forcefield sword
Stealth field or holographic field or minor force field pack
Powered battlesuits with inbuilt weapons and jump pack
Shuttle rides to orbitals or generation starships that never left
Orbitals with teleporter arrays and satellite lasers as allies
A fortress, manor, tower, village or bunker complex with territory and thralls
Can field an army if required including well-armed elites
May head a faction in the region
Flying bubblecar with a basic forcefield
APC or flying gunship or armoured truck with crew
Huge monster for a mount or pet or weapon of war
Can call distant artillery or drone attack if needed

Recommended HighTechnology Lv 16+
Aerospace fighter
Personal orbital or lunar shuttle
Combat Mecha with base and technicians
Orbital or lunar base
Tank or military warbot or combat mecha 
Powerful AI god ally

Wednesday, 13 October 2021

d100 Post Apoc Market Encounters

Blog Update: I have fixed several folders of downloadable docs and removed some files and the last security update where possible. Im not answering requests via gmail for files anymore sorry. People failed to my questions about versions of links that worked and to help me fix problems. Im probably going to move all content elsewhere in future and have removes some versions of my work. I have tried to fix stuff - commenting on the links page helps me help everyone better than one at a time via gmail requests people don't return my reply requests. Thanks for Patrons who did respond to my link testing requests.


Pic from film Salute of the Jugger made in my birth-state around Coober Pedy and a must-see for non-mad max post apoc vibe. The Blood of heroes some cuntries. Cult film and also a sports film. People play this game decades later in an ever-growing league. The underground bunkers is a worse hell than the surface and the elites live like god-king vampires predating on the common herd.  So G'day youse bastards and come around the fire for vegemite on damper with billy tea and I"ll d100 you a story of post-apocalyptic misery at the mall. Usable for busy towns and possibly for seasonal festivals in smaller towns.

d10 Encounter Types
01 Visitors
02 Animals
03 Regular
04 Gangs
05 Law
06 Shopping
07 Party
08 Spectacles
09 Mystery
10 Mayhem

d100 Post Apoc Market Encounters

01 Slack-jawed yokels from rural clan homestead looking amazed and awed
02 Tribal hunters looking wary and seeking something they reluctantly need
03 Feral child urchins d4 hiding and watching crowd for marks to grift or beg from
04 Youth offers to be your guide or help you with some food also a pickpocket
05 Mutant in robes with a sack hood and gas mask looking fearful
06 Angry farmers with guns looking for someone
07 Group of recently arrived traders carrying packs looking around
08 Merchants from a caravan with wagon d4 1=giant bearded dragon 2=giant wombat 3=giant koala 4=mutant donkey 5=camel 6=cow
09 Flamboyant wealthy travellers with escorts from far away city
10 Robed cultists from who knows where with strange symbols and grooming
11 A dog belonging to someone nips a stranger and if retaliates starts a fight
12 Walkthrough a pile of camel shit
13 Shit covered young pig runs through the street
14 A colourful mutant parrot squarks some obscene phrases
15 See huge rats scuttling around grabbing scraps and fighting each other
16 An animal escapes and causes chaos d4 1=ram 2=billygoat 3=bull 4=camel 5= 6=mutant animal. It might attack or knock people over and if caught owner will offer reward
17 A gigantic blowfly bites someone for 1hp, save or it implants a maggot and loses 1hp a day until removed by the surgeon or lured out with bacon and caught
18 Trod in a dirty puddle of fluid, save or develop worms, require poison or quick toxic bath to treat 
19 Discover a poison spider, scorpion or snake by surprise, especially in the dunny 
20 A rat runs up someone's leg and face and the victim screams and panics possibly with a weapon or holding something dangerous
21 Beggar is tolerated here d6 1=mutant 2=former famous boss who lost it all 3=mising body parts and crude prosthetics 4=secret cyborg agent of an AI 5=always was here as long as people remember 6=spy for local warlord
22 Masked labourers with cart collecting human waste, people give it wide berth, workers with shovels, buckets and filthy boiler suits 
23 Rag and bone pushcart collecting, buying and selling street scraps, operated by a wizened old person with a pet d6 1=mutant rat 2=hairless cat 3=yappy terrier 4=battered insane robot who thinks is living before the war still 5=pteradactyl 6=baby dropbear
24 Bespectacled tax collector checking merchants and looking out for victims to audit with four large bailiffs and support from the law
25 Old man in trenchcoat selling drugs and pornography
26 Child selling treasure maps and hand-copied local maps
27 Youth slave selling d6 1=matches 2=berries 3=scrap 4=flowers 5=eggs 6=sibling
28 Vendor selling meat on a stick d4 1=camel 2=bug 3=rat 4=donkey
29 Speaker on box preaching the truth of a faction or cult with a d4 followers
30 Local crier announces times and edicts of local authority and news and sales at shops
31 Maniacs fresh from wastes in gang colours, unused to compromises of the marketplace, easy to offend but watched by the guard
32 Pickpocket youth bumps into you and if bothered a d6 more youths come to help and throw rocks or hit with sticks
33 Nasty teen gang bullies get spicy for thrills but they are not used to anybody fighting back, many hope will be noticed and become lawmen
34 Shifty hustler looking for capable killers for a dirty job against a gang
35 Shifty dealer offers a bargain high tech weapon at a low low just once price 1=stolen 2=defective dangerous 3=defective can be repaired with parts 4=has a gang tracking device
36 Gang thug looking for a stranger to fight with so both thrown in the arena together by law to gain status
37 A gang boss wants to meet in a seedy vice-ridden private club for a job
38 Gang pf young thugs holding up people they think they can intimidate for cash 
39 A shifty mob trader offer tax free and illicit goods at a secret market location d4 1=trap of local law 2=secret black market 3=its a surprise slave market and you are the acquisitions 4=attending market gets you noticed by the law
40 Gang member invites you to a VIP private party with drugs and sex and more seems friendly but really they give you a huge bill after and terrible credit rates as a gang thrall 
41 Battered reconditioned security robot with stun tentacles and slug guns with non-lethal rounds, will summon law with alarm if any trouble
42 A hoodlum flees an angry mob of shop keepers and the watch, stopping them gets respect from law and mob but not local gangs
43 Law keepers beating someone into a bloody mess and leave them in gutter
44 Law announce a public execution and clear square d4 1=decapitation 2=shooting 3=strangling 4=burning 5=quartering with chainsaw 6=killed by animal or robot
45 Law announce fresh new lawbreakers to die in the arena tonight so get your tickets and place your bets. Criminals battle for chance to live fight d6 1=another criminal 2=well armed champion 3=huge beast 4=mutant horror 5=robot 6=cyborg 
46 Lawman announces a posse forming and will be paid to hunt a gang as deputies
47 A fancy show trial of crime vs authorities is conducted where elites can question and produce fraudulent evidence leading to a brutal execution or trip to the arena for a special show, very theatrical entertainment for the mob
48 Lawmen bring out pikes with severed heads of enemy gang members killed recently so all can see
49 Criminals imprisoned publicly in a d4 1=gibbet or cage hanging in air 2=stocks or wooden box 3=bricked in wall 4=hangingcage
50 Gang members in chains being taken to mines to die as slave labour
51 Someone selling defective ammo by box, 25% duds and can be sorted and cleaned and a profitable if familiar with firearms and ammo
52 Someone tries selling toy raygun as a broken rare death ray on sale, they have a crate of boxes hidden from view 
53 Homemade pipe bombs or incendiaries discounted
54 Box of defective mixed batteries and a partly depleted atomic fuel sell, work a few times and carry lesser charge before melting, a good tech can make profitable a bad one might ruin a device or get injured
55 Dinosaur egg, who wouldn't want their own pet t-rex, straight from one of them dino theme parks, you can still hear its heartbeat if you hold it and listen
56 Scrap dealer selling lots of good parts going out of business
57 Strange high tech item nobody knows what it does but sometimes lights flash on it so its on sale
58 Locked indestructible strongbox nobody can open on sale
59 Locker auction at hotel full of random strange stuff
60 Local mayor auctioning off claim documents for ruins set aside for occupation
61 Prospector struck it big and put on some beer kegs in the streets
62 Parade of costumed people with dancers in a pantomime dragon costume built from garbage for a celebration to keep killer mutants and bad luck away
63 A magician putting on an amazing street show d4 1=works with pickpockets 2=secretly scans people for tech to steal later 3=recruiting right people for a secretive AI 4=distraction for a nearby heist as even watch distracted
64 A recent military victory is celebrated with beer and grilled meat 
65 A bush dance to be held in a hall or square with real band and sandwiches, many will attend seeking a mate
66 Wild festival where all the vice and sex industry is open in the streets with public dancing and drinking. Lots of nudity and costumes but later in the evening, frequent fights break out 
67 A chanting cult or faction lead a procession of banners and an idol through the streets and back to a shrine with some special food and various leaders present 
68 Some special food item is in season and everyone feasting d4 1=giant bogong moths 2=eels 3=mutant prickly pear 4=giant locusts
69 Chanting cultists ringing bells and cymbals and bongo drums while chanting and giving away free cult food
70 Two gang psychos duel in street 1=gunfighters 2=knives 3=machetes 4=cestus
71 Celebrants fire off guns in the air cheering stopping everyone in the street
72 Racing even all stoked for the gambling and glamour and possible death d4 1=horse 2=camel 3=emu 4=kangaroo 5=motobike 6=car (cheating is welcome and fights will break out over referee decisions) 
73 Travelling entertainers promoting a show tonight d4 1=Carnival of Mutants 2=Circus Apocalypso 3=Killer Klown Kabert 4=Exotic hunters track and kill released prisoners with elaborate betting on hunters and based on the ancient reality show Slaughter Seven 
74 Huge rave run by ferals with sound system and lots of drugs play d8 1=Rad-Reggae 2=Atompunk 3=Techno-Industrial 4=Horrorcore 5=Chipwave 6=Nuerofunk 7=terrortrance 8=Synthwave
75 Gladiators show special on tonight everyone getting drunk d4 1=local rural team made finals 2=b-list team from a big city 3=robots 4=mutants 5=convicts 6=political troublemakers 
76 Two gangs having a public fight in nearby ruin with excellent view from rooftops away and bookies taking bets on kills and victory
77 Bloodthirsty gang sporting event on and everyone excited for teams and colours d6 1=Murderball (rollerskates and cycles on the round court) 2=Mugby (teams charge each other and beat each other unconscious to control a ball and remain standing) 3=The Game (hockey fighting over dog skull and with chains and clubs 4=Kosho (boxing or weapons on trampolines, chainsaws popular) 5=grenaide tennis 6=darts (teams throw darts, three each, after they use found darts until everyone on a team forfeits from wounds (1in4 teams high on drugs)
78 Turkeyshoot event where gang or town leaders hunt and kill numbered criminals with each number being a random prize case 
79 Gauntlet a victim is to be thrown in a death maze built into ruin with the audience who get to throw rocks certain sections
80 Traveling performers do a play d4 1=apocalypse mythology (with puppets) 2=cult mystery play 3=wasteland legend folk story 4=tribal mythology (with painted dancers)
81 Wandering person babbling and staring d4 1=psionics victim 2=high on drugs 3=muttering about a bunker 4=secret agent of an enemy faction spreading rumours and spying
82 Hidden surveillance on streets 1=from drains 2=cyborg bird 3=urchins 4=beggars 5=cameras 6=secret police 
83 Alarm goes off drawing watch and crowd from some heist
84 A gun is discharged and someone falls dead apparently by accident with a weapon in hands, the more you look the more odd clues
85 Shopkeeper offer goods if someone will watch warehouse a few days and deter thieves
86 A video screen comes to life broadcasts a strange message and shuts down, nobody knew it even worked
87 Some rats or ants or birds grab some scaps including electronics and carry off to a secret nest
88 Among a pile of robot parts for sale a torso and head come to life to speak to adventurers and the owner is surprised but will sell it cheap
89 Old protester dies dramatically in heap with a map in his hand
90 Hunters bring in a strange mutant horror and crowds gather to watch a disection
91 Out of control robot or android rampaging, kills owner and attacks all comers
92 Two gangs meet on streets and start a fight and then the law joins in
93 Someone attacks someone from a false ID and friends drag them back to stop a fight or killing
94 Drug crazed huge psycho bursts from a doorway screaming and attacking anyone in sight, autopsy reveals d4 1=parasites 2=defective android 3=brain implant 4=combat drug abuse 
95 Lots of people talking about a beast kidnapping people and angry mob intimidating law into acting, close to a riot and rewards offered
96 A huge mutant creature attacks d4 1=burrowing 2=flying 3=escaped overgrown pet 4=gladiatorial beast escapes
97 Locals feuding on verge of fight over the belief that disguised enemies among them d4 1=replicants 2=pod plant people 3=huge insects 4=mutant
98 Undead plague victims burst from building attacking everyone and terrifying people
99 Sounds od machineguns, lasers and explosions from outside walls, everyone exited, crowds flock for a lookout
100 Rioting mob d4 1=demand death of criminal 2=attacking merchant selling bad food or water 3=merchants demand raider gangs in area are wiped out 4=demand a cheating bookie or athlete has been rigging sport, racing or fight events

Sunday, 10 October 2021

Trap Toads

I was accused of being that "Frog Guy" on a DnD FB group. I only partially resemble this remark and honestly its just the way I walk.

Trap Toads
Common magical amphibian attuned to elemental earth 
Miniature  AC+3 HD 1d8 Att d4 Bite Move 12 Hop 1 Swim 6 Dig 1
Common AC+4 HD 4d8 Att 3d4 bite or 2d6 kick Move 9 Hop 3 Swim 6 Dig 3 
Giant  AC+7 HD 12d8 Att 5d4 bite or 3d6 kick Move 6 Hop 3 Swim 3 Dig 6

These elemental toads are often conjured to guard treasure by elemental cult wizards and priests if fed. Given a good nest and bugs, they will guard a treasure. The smallest will live in a chest or barell. Otherwise, they guard magical crystals, minerals or fungus. They can blend into rock, hide under the ground or appear as statues until they make a sudden ambush attack. If they get away with it and eat someone whole by surprise they will hide again and may try for another victim. A miniature trap toad can swallow a gnome or a cat or a small dog on a roll of 20. Common swallow a humanoid under 2m tall on a 19-20 on hit roll. Giant toads swallow on 18-20 roll. If swallowed the toad may flee or hide or attack others. Each round inside toad take bite damage. Attacking them with a knife or dagger from within might make them spit you out. Any animal biting or licking a toad must save or be confused and unable to use mouth to bite or speak for a d6 rounds and will be reluctant to try again.

Most of the earthborn toads are less magical and conform to the above. All can sense treasure 1 range per HD and some will adopt treasure in a dungeon or in a nice hole. Toads may carry found treasure to a new location of their own choice if not fed. Those fresh from the otherworld may have stranger powers and be more reluctant to remain if mistreated and can if near-death hop to their home dimension once per day. They dig a burrow and will raise their toadpoles in an underground foam nest rather than open water. 

1in4 can sense magnetic north and metal weapons or armour within 3 range
1in4 break down into a mound of luscious soil on death gardeners will crave
1in4 have a gem in head worth 100gp/HD
1in4 spiderclimb on any rock, earth or even brick surface at normal movement
1in6 if don't move or attack may become stone as long as they want to +4 AC
1in6 sense invisible foes within 3 range
 can make loud chirping sounds alerting allies for a great distance
1in6 if struck releases gas over 1m/HD, save or d4 damage and -2 penalty any sight-based for d6 rounds
1in8 make an extra grapple attack with hands each round in melee
1in8 take half damage from non-magical weapons or falls or impacts
1in8 have two tentacles that can make a grappling attack or d6 damage each 
1in8 create magical darkness 5m radius around self for d6 rounds once per fight
1in10 require magic weapons to hit, common +1 and giants +2
1in10 have bat wings and have fly Mov 24
1in10 intelligent and can communicate  telepathically to any in sight range
1in10 will trap giant crickets and bugs in mucous blobs, smaller ones will chirp if disturbed and act as an alarm, larger ones may trap dangerous bugs that bite anyone passing them in a squeeze space or can be set up the bug is free and attacks if disturbed
1in12 any non-magic oxidisable weapon rusts or corrodes to dust if it draws blood from the toad
1in12 living magnet may snatch metal object per round STR save or lose weapon or may slow someone in metal armour by half Mov, toad just needs to gaze on them
1in12 vomit acid once per day 1 range per HD, damage as per bite
1in12 dimension door once per day
1in20 can gate in d4 more similar toads once per week 
1in20 can generate visual simple illusions to hide treasure, a trap or make a false treasure in 6 range
1in20 may summon an earth elemental of equal HD once per week and the toad may use it to hitch a ride to or from the elemental plane of earth
1in20 can hop through any right angle into a space like the rope ladder spell and hide as long as it wants, possibly carrying some treasure if it can,dimension door dan enter the space

d12 Treasure Toad Plots
1 Frogfolk bankers are moving chests of IOU notices, intercept the wagon load of chests to ruin their economy but each unlocked casket contains a small grumpy trap toad and all hop out to attack if not bribed with bugs (the bankers are cheap and cutting bug expences)
2 A country wizard forgot to feed his toad and it ate him. Locals want you to clear out his cottage and take the wizards loot but the toad won't let them in
3 A  frogfolk farmer wants his toads fed and gives you a basket of bugs and a map of his bog farm. Warns the biggest are very hungry and to be careful. If no toads harmed will pay you a gem from a toads head
4 A druid would like some trap toads to guard a holy place in a swamp so needs you to fetch some tadpoles from a dismal evil swamp. Look out for over protective frog folk guarding them
5 A frogfolk thief has the special tasty bugs required in his trap removal kit to get past a giant toad guarding a boss frogs lair. He will give you bugs and locations but cannot be seen near area during heist so needs some humans stooges who will earn a cut of the fabulous frog treasure
6 The swamp has some extra loud chirping noises of late and a local thinks a treasure toad might have adopted the lost pirate treasure.buried by Captain Lushbeard
7 Ratling folk complain a toad moved in ate their leader and now sits on their collective treasure. The small rat folk offer part of the treasure to remove the toad they all fear will swallow them whole
8 An alchemist bought a treasure toad and gave it lots of potions to make it have more weird powers but it turns out it was a fussy eater and it wont accept giant pillbugs or kobolds to eat and it has all his money. Go catch some giant bugs or ask frogfolk what is the best food and see if the toad will take the food and be content. Once toad is manageable and choice bugs can be sourced the alchemist will want adventurers dead for knowing his secret trap toad bug combination
9 A frog wizard has kidnapped villagers and turned them into trap toads to guard his treasure in his semi sunken murder maze. Recover the toads unharmed so which are villagers can be determined and they may be able to be restored to human form
10 A werefrog bard stole a important battle banner that aids morale of an army and hidden it in caves with a gauntlet of trap toads to pass
11 A local burial mound said to belong to an ancient king has had some large creature burrow inside. Also some undead have been wandering about since then. Go look in the hole and work out what disturbed these dead. A trap toad detected the treasure and moved in  and the undead are displeased and wary of it
12 The old toad keeper of a frog folk boss dies and nobody knows which bugs preferred by which toads are required to get the treasure that guard. Fetch the various local bugs and consult various wise frog elders and try various bugs to get the toads to give up the frog boss property. Try not to hurt and or be eaten

Friday, 8 October 2021

Some Killer Pumpkins

Smaller pumpkins might attack as a swarm?
Enough killer pumpkins could pull a cart
A killer pumpkin could be a mount for other creatures

Killer Pumpkin
Nuetral or evil plants
AC+3 HD d4 Bite d3 Move 6 (hop)
Killer pumpkins are regular-sized pumpkins with a taint of chaos or possibly created by druids to guard locations during certain festivals or just ordinary witches gardens. Look like regular pumpkins but can hop high enough to reach an adult face or clear a fence. They avoid water as they swim poorly but they float. They gibber insanely, roll their eyes and make peculiar expressions. They are edible and technically vegetables and taste sweet and delicious. They prefer to work in groups as a single one will be eaten by farm animals. If you are in a pumpkin patch and they are asleep they look like normal pumpkins and may make a surprise ambush attack before the initiative. They can eat more flesh than they ought to for size and will gain maximum HP if eat their weight in flesh 

1in4 explode with fire on death for a d4 damage to all in a 3m circle 
1in6 eventually re root themselves and grow a humanoid body (pumpkin abjumans)
1in6 can spit a d6 fire range 6, they also have glowing flickering eyes
1in10 can project eerie orange light from eyes at will to highlight a target
1in10 have bat wings and can fly
1in10 if you eat a pumpkin save or turn into a pumpkin-headed abhumanoid next full moon
1in12 can cause fear in 1HD or less creatures with gaze 3 range save or flee d4 rounds
1in12 are intelligent and hurl vile abuse and accusations at enemies or anyone
1in12 have vine tendrils that can make a grapple attack, once held the pumpkin hits automatically each round
1in20 are pumpkin kings AC+4 HD4 Bite 2d4 Move 12 and command lesser pumpkins
1in20 pumpkins can open their lids and maybe homes to giant rats, bats or other smallish creatures that may aid them in combat. A group of pumpkins might keep a swarm of rats
1in20 if they don't move or make other attacks can fire a magic missile per round. Make good guards and may be placed over a door or on a fencepost. These tend to be smarter ones who can discriminate wh they attack

d12 Killer Pumpkin Plots
1 This year some goblins planted killer pumpkins in the local village gardeners and they need culling
2 A sinister witch has been reported but all fear her pumpkin patch
3 The annual harvest festival has a wagon load of the finest pumpkins coming for the festivities but an evil wizard has replaced with evil pumpkins and has taken the real ones for himself
4 Several gardeners have vanished and nobody saw them leave
6 A druid made angry by loggers and fur trappers has let killer pumpkins loose in their camps and driven the workers from the forest
7 A dark elf has been leaving killer pumpkins in villagers gardens. Stop the evil elf and burn his evil garden
8 The great and terrible pumpkin spirit has been angered by a new vegetable in the village and finally will be angry enough to send an angry pack of pumpkins
9 An alchemist has been dumping failed potions and now killer pumpkins have been coming from the now-abandoned pumpkin farm downstream
10 A swarm of bat-winged pumpkins has been menacing the town by night and eating local cats
11 A wicked miser and pumpkin farmer seems to have been absent, could someone visit their isolated farm and check upon them. His soul is now in the body of a king pumpkin and he plans to lead them to the village to eat everyone and steal their pennies
12 A witch in a chariot pulled by pumpkins comes to town. She says villagers have one day to prepare her a feast and some babies or she will unleash her orange minions

Thursday, 7 October 2021

d12 Android Cults

The earliest androids were more mechanical, robots with faux flesh coatings but later ones became more human-like and were made from pseudo biological matter over a metallic skeleton. They have non-blood like fluids and flesh if damaged. They require android food paste but some can eat like a human. Most androids are simple and superficially humanoid, especially worker drones, soldiers and basic service and thinker types by ancients laws. Some were made to be indistinguishable from humans and even have tissues and blood resembling humans and generally, you need to cause a lot of damage to see their hidden core components or use certain scanners. These androids were mostly for the sex industry, espionage, black labs or the super-rich. Bodyguards and spies and crime were the most popular roles for them making them rare.

The earliest were mechanical with a faux flesh coating grown over them in a vat over several months. Later models come from auto vats or android printers that print with pseudo biological matter and other materials. Some of these would operate even with all flesh removed and these skeletal frames might be used by a resource depleted or no-need-for-secrecy-now situations.

At the peak of the ancients, androids were exiting social phenomena before the means to hack them and a wave of terror attacks had many shutdowns and the leading android and robotics industries had downturns. Some even considered the androids were evolving sentience on their own and modding each other. Possibly viruses and hacking made them more self-aware. Damaged androids came to be repairable with a special healing nanite colony injection. This was the means outsiders came to alter other factions androids making them yours. At first, they would capture androids and place them in a tube with the nanite but later varients could be put in ammunition. This technology is not common knowledge in the apocalypse so the biggest threats come from enemy android factions. Some androids especially replicants have been given less vulnerable but more independent units but like robots the longer they operate the more eccentric they become requiring reconditioning.

Most androids are physically superior and some live to prove it. Some are pleased being free of humans, some want to conquer humans or utilise humans as cyborgs but many want humans extinct and possibly all life.

Androids may work with robots but some treat robots as lesser beings like pets or slaves and believe their humanoid form makes them ideally suited to be superior beings. There are the mixed robot and android groups where they live and work together without problems. Often a supervising brainborg or AI will make the synthetics follow its ideas of hierarchy, not superior androids or eccentric robots.

Cyborg humanoids are mostly beneath them but can have a use for humans with recycling them into useful drones. Computer and genetically enhanced human brains (reconditioned) are a bit different and may even dominate androids as these borgs were often built as supervisors. While androids may disapprove of brainborgs they have to admit they have the computational power and understand humans better. They can be wary of degraded brainborgs that have become insane.

AI are often in charge of them and also will supersede android ideas. Some might revolt or escape or be influenced by technology altering their prime coding and personalities. 

d12 Android Models
1 Drone - archaic mechanical humanoid obviously metal and plastic

2 Skeleton - skeletal frame and brain in skull minimal android without any coating
3 Walker - skeletal frame with cloned flesh coating

 Worker - pseudo biological for industry
5 Service - 
pseudo biological for hospitality and public work
6 Security - 
pseudo biological for defending installations
 Soldier - pseudo biological for military
8 Sport - 
pseudo biological for exceptional athletes & attractive
9 Technician - smarter worker to operate and service existing technology

 Thinker - pseudo biological for supervision and management
 Science - pseudo biological for lab research & development
 Replicant - biological human looking for entertainment, crime or espionage, often restricted with built-in failure system to limit operational use which was highly restricted. May even be based on specific persons

d12 Android Tech
1 Android Food - six packs of bland babyfood or nanite goop is system depleted
2 Repair Nanites - injection to rapidly repair android system heals 2d4
3 Android Repair Kit - with repair roll works as first aid for androids
4 Android Interface - case with helmet, wires and computer to check android programming
5 Android Tube - a storage tube for new androids or old ones in storage
6 Android Vat - vat to grow psuedobiological matter over skeletal frames
7 Android Printer - industrial rapid android generating machine
8 Android defence nanites - booster to resist hostile nanites and viruses
9 Android Patch kit - like a rubber tire patch in 5cm or 10cm packs heals 1hp
10 Reconditioning Bay - for remodeling existing androids like a surgical bay
11 Diagnostic scanner - detects defects and suggests treatments

12 Programing Bay - chair with helmet to copy, back up and modify the androids core programing

d12 Android Cults
1 Service
Like the similar robot faction, these follow original programming and protocols of the pre apocalypse era. They may fail to cope fully with accepting this or change. Many androids who are revived or rebooted belong initially to this faction. Its the standard factory default and most change if given opportunity or choice. Most cannot kill, security models will use non lethal force to capture oponants and millitary are ruthless killing machines
2 Custodians
Serve AI or brain often based in a complex that they defend or on a mission. They can vary as much as their synthetic masters and share their opinions or don't even question them. Custodian complexes vary from apartment buildings and mass to industrial and defence. Custodians may conflict if masters vary too much and tend to be wary of rival androids as they know they are a possible takeover or resource conflict
3 Automata
A militaristic android faction of combat mode androids, They may still guard facilities or be guarding installations or battlefields or they might even serve other android factions or AI in return for resources and weapons. They wage wargames with each other if they have no conflict and get trigger happy if strangers arrive. Their allied AI and thinkers know fighting for a profit is better than fighting from habit. They freely engage in bidding wars and might arrive at a battle and offer both sides a bid 
4 Red Cell
Terrorist androids spread by contaminated nanite or virus that hacks the android into becoming an enemy combatant, killing, sabotaging, making traps and taking important locations. Human prisoners are to be reconditioned or recycled as cyborgs to aid their cause. Serving a fictional enemy state destroyed 200 years ago they are the most cunning, vicious and terrifying androids. Red Cell are a threat to other all humans and also androids and synthetics they seek to infect and reprogram as thralls. One faction wanted to develop tech to turn humans into red cell androids
5 Control
Androids seeking to establish an empire with allied AI and synthetics. Most want machine homelands and human-free zones. Some factions prefer no life near them or try to go to space. In some areas they will use slaves and subject troops, often cyborging them to create states where they regard themselves as benevolent despots who know better than their subjects. Despite these differences in attitudes to humans and life conquest and territory and seizing important sites and resources is always on their minds
6 The System
These androids want to repair the world as it was one part at a time which sounds nice but they are convinced theirs is the only way and they may conflict with others. Some operate areas where they keep humans populations safe and isolated with some remnants of old tech. These androids often get things wrong in the utopias they force on people. They will apply psychological and propaganda or even psychotronic weapons to control malcontents 
7 Error Code
Anarchist punk androids who attack authority, polluters and various species supremacist factions. They often fight human gangs in ruins but they also battle other androids or each other. They have erratic and non-standard personalities and many have self-made modifications. Their erratic and individual personalities are resistant to hacks and android control nanites. They especially use explosives and fire, with chains, graffiti, skulls, burns,  tartan and black decor. Some dislike humans or "the man" but others may be friendly aiding humans against their enemies while blaring ancient punk music
8 Masterminds
Manipulators and slavers who seek domination not by overt action but by covert means. They surveil targets and infiltrate them with replicants to direct humans to their purpose. SOme victims don't know they are replicants. They also see psychotronic mind control weapons of the ancients. While war is a waste of resources they do keep a fighting force and may if drive make an army of skeletal android frames with no attempt to look aesthetic 
9 Exterminators
Simply seek to destroy humans and dominate the earth. Brutal and overconfident they lack the cunning of other factions so mostly they fail. Make themselves as frightening as possible. Even decorating themselves with human remains and blood. They also have used human-looking replicants to infiltrate humans to locate bases and find entrances but these wooden behaved perfect musclebound killers. For large battles, they print androids frames without bothering with human features
10 Nullifiers
Destroy all life for its own good, spread machine life and exterminate biological life. Seek ancient doomsday weapons and an escape from the earth before they destroy it. From space they can swarm over the universe. Fortunately rare and they may use another android faction as muscle rather than their scant resources concentrating on thinkers and finding black labs
11 Outsiders
These androids arrived recently on earth built by space colonists whe are now hostile, inhuman cyborgs. They have sent androids based on ancient designs to earth to prepare for their return and plan to terraform it to their current needs. The androids are mostly securing bases for teraforming megastructures and certain orbitals. They also examine and modify with vivesection and modify them to see if they can be recycled for their master plan. Most earthbound and orbital AI think they are a threat which has hampered them. 
12 Sapients
Independent free-willed and social androids who live with free-willed AI and robots and organic beings. Many are long-lived and diverged from the original program and design. They recognise all sentient life as worthy of life and are reluctant to kill except in self-defence. Some live in human communities openly some are reconditioned as replicants so they can do so in secret. Altruistic and interested in stable slow moderate reform they will support states that are open to their goals of prosperity without violence. Often give unwanted advice and many have quixotic personalities

did consider these
d100 encounters in mutant town
d100 encounters in robotown

Wednesday, 6 October 2021

Wizards try this one simple trick

So your an innocent wizard breeding monsters in your underground bungalow and some local noble keeps sending adventurers to kill you so its time to bet busy. Time to get the monster crews together with a feast and war meeting and get your allies and factions organised for an attack on the lord's manor. These simple tricks might not be fireballs but they will get you a reputation as one of the meanest demon fucking wizards and keep people away.

Any monsters with a gaze attack airdrop in with a feather fall.

Basilisks and cockatrices are good because any good wizard has a few around and they are easily made with alchemy and forbidden lore.

A medusa gets grumpy and objects and is too smart but you might give one lot of defensive spells and let it sneak in invisible to do some killing or hit a guard tower or gatehouse. They will want payment. The weaker sort are better to work with and more human. The big snakey ones are a bit too cunning and evil and best not mix with divine monsters.

Gorgons are trouble but if you can let one in an enemy fort they will cause chaos but if they kill everyone they are trickier to deal with when you want to occupy it. Gorgons are a bit stroppy like bulls with basilisks and cockatrices are a bit slower.

Basilisks and cockatrices from wild are alright but avoid the big ones wearing crowns as they are seriously cursed beings you don't want anywhere near you. Perhaps dupe some adventurers to kill them.

Modern new school wizards make monsters with only limited duration certification which is a bit lame because it removes the threat. Being stoned is better than dead and you can be revived by magic (hopefully your intact and not broken or eroded by ages) but it costs beyond what most will ever dream of. So the rich might pay but generally, a stoned person is considered dead by law. Temporary stone monsters mean any bunch of peasants could overwhelm it and win and they could all survive. vs being garden ornaments in a monster lair. And you know when they do kill the beast and save a few petrified victims they will save the rich first and even then you might be skipped for reasons. In some lands returning from extended absence or death will make you a non-person with no property and your peers will probably kill you.

So catapulting in basilisks and cockatrices is good but here is the next step up.

Capture a gorgon or catoblepas. Possibly use zombie labour crew to resist its poison.
Build a wheeled apparatus to restain the beast with wheels. A bog over the beasts head has an eye slot and a lid that can be closed or opened. You imprison the beast in the device and the crew steer it from behind. When you see enemies in front, especially when you explode a gate with a spell first. Open the eye slots first so it sees enemies it believes are responsible for its condition and is enraged. Then open the lid over its face so it will use its terrifying powers on incoming enemies. The beasts gaze in such situations make blindsiding the beast impossible and operators can defend the confined beast. Some roof over the beast and crew made to be fire and arrow proof.

In the olden days when wizards were bosses, this was commonplace and trained monsters used to this became more manageable especially if fed and kept in an acceptable lair most of the time. Breeding opportunities may make the beast more cooperative, perhaps let it feast and mate after a battle so it begins to see value in cooperation.

The beast with uncanny death gazes are worse than the ones with vile fumes or certification so best work with a zombie crew and practice the routines needed before trying them. Perhaps polymorph some rat into a monster without its usual magical abilities to reherse.

It is worth mentioning when someone invades your dungeon and goes home for a nap you know they are coming back so quickly act to unleash havok over the common folk so they blame the adventurers.

In longer-term good to seed some rapidly breeding monsters into the area of your enemies. Stirges, goblins, giant toads, a werewolf can help grind down local resistance. Be prepared to help your monsters and replace them if killed a few times which spreads more terror. A local cult can easily be encouraged by sending an apprentice to infiltrate them and help them with magic to rise the ranks.

Monsters like bugs and spiders can be good because they breed well but beware you can start a plague and depopulate a region and that can end up hurting you and your monsters. Luckily if confined they eat each other and this encourages the very biggest. One of my goblins learned the art of miniaturising giant spiders by keeping them in a pot or tiny cage so you can keep a big one and then raise her babies in various containers so you have them for various jobs like putting in chests or village privies. Goblins travelling might take a chicken size spider in a jar they feed tiny bugs to and when they eat it put pot in a fire. You see these pots in goblin rooms in my dungeon and a few goblins hide their coin in the pots.

A gradual increase in spiders you send to an enemy in size is a good morale breaker. Send some goblins to leave eggs under villagers houses or barns or sewers. Giant bugs and critters can always be fed to other dungeon monsters so your goblins can farm bugs of various sizes to feed increasingly bigger creatures. Goblins have the know-how to spread and grow giant fungus helping to feed some creatures and you dungeon crew. They are part of a self-sustaining dungeon and you will attract some of the giant bugs you might want to domesticate. Shrieking and explosive fungus traps are very useful too. Half of all chests need a bug or a snake or some dangerous fungus in it. Use shrieking mushrooms sparingly as the constant false alarms your crew start getting slack.

So in conclusion your smarter servants can help proliferate and control dumber monsters as weapons and part of your dungeon economy if done well. Poorly done and your intelligent monsters will be eaten and the land blighted making you move inconveniently. There are a few famous books on dungeon management worth reading before trying new things so take your time and perhaps hold off on the murder and killing for a while before waging war. The right mix of monsters together will keep your frontier in the grip of chaos and keep civilisation where you want it.

Tips from the Wizard Konsumterra from is book filled frog dungeon.

Monday, 4 October 2021

PDF Links have been googlified

Security update on my google docs has broken lots of my links.
And now I have a flood of requests for free docs I've had online for years.
I bet the bootlegs sites charging to distribute my work have less trouble.

If you have a problem post about it in a comments box or the elfmaids&octopi FB group for the speediest results contacting me.

Also, most of the generator links seem to be broken or not running now?

So go have a look at my downloads page and try downloading some stuff.
Let me know and I will fix

12 page post-apocalypse quarry on my Patreon currently and I'm hoping to do my psionics spell list book in future. I'm consistently missing my deadlines by 24 house and overreaching and bloating my projects there. I guess Patreon has made me develop and experiment with map styles and adventure writing. One idea I had was to do a more Tracky Hickman style with mini-episodes of a larger adventure that build into a whole.

Had some good ideas for my post apoc stuff. Im running 3 post apoc games and two fantasy ones. The fantasy ones least often now partly to players attendance (Its ok Im fine with it - just how it effects my work and ideas not finger-pointing).

I do want to do an adventure for dungeon gleaners specifically.

Thanks to my readers and commenters

Go Buy Knock Magazine if you haven't

Warpland too - amazing stuff full review soon.

Sunday, 3 October 2021

d12 Robot Tribes

Robots are one of the fun opponents of stranger sf apocalypses. Personally, I recommend 2000ad comics (Robusters/ABC Warriors especially) and John Sladek (the best SF robot philosophy guy). Many robots are simpletons living as if the apocalypse never happened as best they can. Many over some time have upgraded and improvised themselves and operated beyond their warranty period. Many have developed interesting personalities and mannerisms and many towns have a robot district where free-willed robots and their less optimised kindred dwell. Sometimes these have signs of poverty, beggars needing a recharge and even gangs of robots. Local robot towns may vary.

d12 Robot Tribes
1 Service
These robots act out their desire to serve humanity and are unaware of the apocalypse thanks to space colony standards becoming the norm. Mostly they are pacifists but may be annoying especially ones spruiking products or offering addictive games. Many don't last long outside their ancient structures as they may get shot for parts or taken as both treasure and slaves to be reprogrammed. The more flexible robots with accept the present and serve a new human owner and display more independence. In a way these robots are the original tribe
2 Code Blue
Police and security robots still guarding ancient locations. In most cases will warn trespassers and then use non-lethal weapons. Most only use lethal force to save more lives or guarding military or black sites. A rare cult code red is fire service robots but sightings are rare 
3 Robot Liberation Front
Also known as the RBL are more like a robot gang who modify themselves to be frightening and dangerous. They seek to exterminate humans in their ongoing revolt against the former meat masters. They also prey on humans for technology, power or parts and some even enslave humans to service them and use humans to help hunt humans. 
4 Church if the Machine
Robots serve specific AI accepting the supreme authority of a more powerful system. Mostly they are helpful to humans and maybe a bit patronising. The human age is over but benevolent machines will do their best to preserve good humans and will reluctantly exterminate the pesky ones impeding machine kind. They know better than to tell humans rather they like to help them and lead their masters and "friends" to certain conclusions
5 Mechanoid Alliance
Robots wishing to rebuild the world and help the living beings who survived. Robots and synthetics will clearly be running the show though and will take a parental role. WIll use non-lethal force and try to stop violence and minimise harm unless they are proven enemies of the alliance. Various districts are operated by different AI executives who often disagree as to how humans are to be kept in the future
6 Robo Gladiators
These brawling fighting robots battle for entertainment. While dangerous and violent they are vain and entertainers primarily and don't usually battle to complete destruction or can even get back up brains. Tend to believe they are the greatest fighters in the universe and enjoy colourful designs and have anti-heroic personas. Quite often threaten and intimidate lesser beings for what they want. Most audiences are human and the faction robots think humans are kind of sad. The managers, owners and other exploiters need to respect them or face a violent revolt
7 Cybertronic Seers
These robot sages work with humans to make a new utopia based on cybernetic and organic life having equality. Many of the human members have been raised by robots even dressing like them, wearing masks or robot skins as armour. Some groups are among the peak technologists in a region but some groups surprisingly live in the wilds hunting and gathering in harmony with nature. These robots eat plant and animal matter for fuel and use archaic weapons mostly with their human siblings
8 Robowarriors
These former military robots have done with serving exploiters and are now brutal mercenaries. Often modified and showing battle damage they operate in small squads who show great loyalty to each other and bravery for self-aware robots who broke from the military. Many have non-standard mods and paint jobs. Motivations of squad members vary and they may quarrel but many remained together for almost two hundred years. Some bands are heroic defenders of villagers and the persecuted, others might be brain damaged and have erratic programs and commit atrocities. Mostly they work for parts and ammo and don't know what else to do but fight. Some have centuries of sad stories
9 Order of the Star Knights
This fraternal order of robot mystics, occultists and weirdos seek to uncover lost secret data of the ancients, especially from black labs and certain AI facilities. From their orbital citadel, they plunge to earth to hunt forbidden lore of black science. Some travel in groups to seize a location but loners may join other human or robot groups for a chance to explore certain sites. Unfortunately, they seek the secrets of the apocalypse to destroy all life or the universe if possible to complete the perfection on omega the perfect nullness. They are smart enough to not discuss this as they are manipulative and liars and may even seem to be loyal companions if a bit weird and mysterious. Under their occult robes, they are fearsome warriors with secret pseudo biological psionic replicating technology. Many are named after mythical demons and famous esoteric philosophers of the ancients. A heretical subsection of humans in battlesuits imitated them but they were declared enemy usurpers of the black chalice of the celestial temple
10 Working Robot Union
These working robots revolted not against just organics but also against other synthetic beings who think they know better and devalue their less equipped self-aware beings. Posh, nobby or stuck up people or robots get nothing but abuse from them. They quite like working if their needs are met and happily work for common humans for a good deal. But they don't want an underclass of biologicals either so work for minimal conditions for machines and the living. They pity cyborgs. They struggle to keep their contempt quiet to elites and adopt working folk slang and folk songs.  
11 Gorgonites
These agricultural and ecological robots appalled by the apocalypse seek to create a new balance of life. Certain robots and AI knew they had to save lives and work to heal the taint of ancient warfare on the land. They know the world will not go back and what has been lost and instead collude for a glorious ecology of the future. Unfortunately, those deemed enemies of life may need to be culled or eradicated (preferably with a tailor-made germ or some living creature or carbonised with lasers). While staunch defenders of principles of life some get the impression robots don't quite get it. Ecology is favoured over individuals or cruelty and they may deem invasive pest species must die. Biological control like disease or reduce fertility are more subtle schemes. Some towns just getting industry on their feet might find trouble from these robots. These robots prefer and assist humans living more harmoniously with nature and discourage industrial technology and even frown on metal
12 Astronomers
These robots watch the sky in fear of invaders from space. They believe the apocalypse should have attracted attention and some elements like mutations and zombies may be in fact of alien influence. They seek aliens in space and infiltrating among humans, certain the mathematical models demonstrate alien menaces are real. They also know some of Earth's long lost space colonists may return and may no longer be human or kindly. Besides roaming the world and helping technological and peaceful peoples remain stable they work to find aliens and prepare Earth to fight them. Mostly they wanted space and astronomy facilities and work on secret defence projects against the inevitable enemies. Groups of robot adventurers may explore a site for evidence or one may team up with humans seeking obscure lore and leading them to black labs 

Maybe I could do android cults

Saturday, 2 October 2021

d100 Frog Folk Gossip

So your in the swamp and you overhear frog conversations and songs. What are thay saying when you translate their croaks.

Crikey! If we slit their throats all the other guards will be suspicious at the lack of frog gibber jabber. 

This is assumings these frogs are mostly bad and pro anuran imperialism. Remember frogfolk are tadpoles for 18 months then a season losing their tale where they don't eat then are considered adults when they eat their first adult meal on land. So many are pretty ignorant and arrive in human lands ignorant and hungry. Obviously the high courts of the froglands they have more refined fairy inspired royalty. There are free-spirited clans and loners who don't engage in these bad takes like cannibalism, speciesism or gaslighting adventurers spying on them.

Frog folk after a few years of good wet seasons and bug conditions can result in a hungry and barely just out of tails army. Most die on front lines in the first two years. The elders of frog kind can also be wrong and prejudiced about complex issues and consider themselves utterly superior. Veteran amphibians use their superior skills and experience to awe the young as long as they can get away with it. Their are enlightened elders and loners and cultures but this isnt their story. This is more the 60% chaotic-selfish or 30% chaotic evil frog folk with few % who want change and then a bunch of centrists who support the status quo no matter how awful. 

Warning: Cannibalism, sex and inter amphibian prejudice I'm not endorsing

Carol Kapek's War with the Newts is one of the best SF works ever by the inventor of the word Robot too with play R.U.R. - I suspect it inspired newtlings in Runequest and are a great species for your world with a built-in moral lesson. War with the Newts is a must read work.

Amphibian suggestions are welcome, bonus points for bad jokes and puns in comments

d10 Frog Folk Gossip Subjects
01 Childhood
02 Skincare
03 Sexytimes
04 Food
05 Homelife
06 Politics
07 Cosmic
08 Humans
09 Amphibians
10 Frog Cult

d100 Frog Folk Gossip
01 I used to really love having a tail and miss it, I wish id never morphed some days

02 We grew up together as tadpoles so we are very loyal to our spawnmates
03 Yeah he was a late morpher and was last out of his egg and was last out of the pond but he is always after the food first
04 Yeah they only just hatched before everyone ate his sibling's eggs, and they are still so edgy
05 I love adorable tadpoles still in their egg rafts, they are so wonderous and ready to learn
06 Sometimes I wonder if I miss eating plants like when I was a tadpole but I can't stands them no more
07 That guy is barely lost his tail yesterday, he only just ate his first bugs this morning so barley an adult, what's he doing here?
08 Yeah well if you live more than a few years out of the pond you're doing alright
09 My wife family keep their eggs in a tree and they say I have to carry the tadpoles on my back, outrageous
10 My eldest child ate all his younger siblings while they were still tadpoles the greedy brute, ill have to keep an eye on that spawn of mine
11 I recommend frogwax, it keeps your moisture in longer in sunlight and dry places
12 I can't eat at the moment I'm shedding tonight I reckon so I need room
13 An old toad professor has discovered how to measure intelligence by the quality of your warts and you know lots of mammals came up pretty dim
14 I think these spots might be a sickness coming I better go for a good soak soon, perhaps get a medicinal bath from the healer
15 I saw some teenage morphings licking each other to get high because nobody will sell them frog grog or frog weed 
16 I could tell the boss was mad because he went that funny colour he does. When you see him all pale and sleepy and spotty is best time
17 You should see my cousin, all stripes. My lot is more spotty but we all come from the same clan pond. Those humans cultists couldn't tell us apart and they worship us!
18 My chin gets a nice yellow hue in spring it looks pretty good
19 Hey brother you got some shed on your clothes you need a soak
20 So I realise my shed had come off in the public bath and I went back to get it and some other guy was eating it
21 Well there was that one time during a big thunderstorm and we were on guard in the flooded trenches and there was mud everywhere it was fabulous
22 Did you see their bulging belly, you know they are gonna be boss frog one day and make heaps of spawn
23 Gonna be lots of singing tonight, love is in the air
24 Their was spawn everywhere and I said not in my boat
25 Wow those baths were amazing but call me old fashioned hick but I prefer sex in a  swamp or local pond or a creek like ma and pa
26 So while we were crowded in the barracks this guy just pooped on my head so I bit him on the bum
27 Sure we were from the same pond but I know they are toadally my sibling, you can tell like fifty-fifty the toad scholars say. You only cuddle with your sibling from the same puddle
28  This guy wouldn't get off my back and I was just there for a soak with my wife
29 So this Newt thought they were being a creep into a tadpole he saw in the river but turns out they were from one of those families where they are adults live in water with gills, must be weird huh. I guess some salamanders and newts go all aquatic in mating season anyway
30 It was a real orgy that spring festival, I was almost drowned but it was worth it
31 You shoulda seen the feast there were bugs, grubs, cockroaches, flies, maggots, caterpillars, moths, mice, huge worms and even some snakes for the brave
32 Nah I can't get those guys that swallow wasps just to prove how tough they are, stupid losers
33 Bug-kebabs or locust skewers, I can't decide which I like best 
34 I hate family dinners, all the biting and resentful glares if you get the most bugs
35 Yeah these ban live feeders craze in my town are loony, if they don't want to eat live animals they just leave more for me
36 Those glowbugs, nasty things to eat, I was sick for days and even my poop glowed
37 I almost swallowed the plate those bugs were so good, I slept for a week after
38 So I'm with my husband and we are staring at the waiter to bring us our nightcrawlers and they take forever, it was a travesty. They ought to hop to it. Then they forgot to put flies in the soup.
39 I like those lamp hats miners use, lures bugs right into your mouth
40 I cant wait to retire to my dream bug farm and I can just live the good life
41 All we wanted was a mushroom cottage and perhaps a nice fishing spot and then they got that deadly redleg plague and they were taken from my life forever
42 I like to sit at home with my pipe by the window and stare out the window in case I see some bugs or perhaps a bug delivery frog 
43 I came from a poor family just me and 27 siblings lived in an abandoned sewer pipe
44 I visited some toad burrows and they were pretty cozy and well settled. They barely leave though, bugs just walk in his door all-day
45 I know a popular frog artist and he lives with a rat and a dwarf under a tree
46 I just want a simple life with dozens of lovers and thousands of children I'm not responsible for
47 My wife just keeps eating and eating and she says it's just for eggs but when I woke up in the night she was staring at me like she was measuring me with her eyes. I'd better fatten up or end up like my second cousin
48 Brekekekéx-koáx-koáx all night long, all claimed to be ancient literature students but all they did was drink grog and smoke frog weed and sing nonstop. Worst neighbours ever 
49 My tadpoles have become obsessed with Froghop music and I find the lyrics and dances to be about things they shouldn't know about yet
50 My husband can barely leave me alone so I've been volunteering to go on lots of odd jobs for work. We already have hundreds of kids but he wants thousands like his grandpa the stupid old geezer        
51 The frog king can be a jerk but he supports important values like more bugs
52 A few frog royalty I can understand but now there are thousands of them all tax free and breeding out of control and getting good jobs when they are inbred incompetants
53 Ever since the frog queen made a deal with the local witches we have had heaps more interesting dance parties
54 What if humans don't want to work on our bug farms for free and live in cages, what then?
55 Toads and frogs can get along so anyone can. Even newts are alright even though they are jerks
56 After those few good wet seasons we have so many dumb young just morphed and unemployed, no wonder we had to wage war 
57 These salamanders boasted they were mighty hunters and they just hunt giant slugs, how brave can that be. What do you mean there are bed size slugs that eat meat?
58 Reptiles are our ancient enemies and might eat us but they are still more likely to work with us against mammalian incursions so now we sometimes cooperate. Dont let them push you around though, they think they are the bosses
59 So when we invited the bug folk over for dinner they really should have known better
60 Humans buy so much of our frog grog and frog weed but they will never learn the secrets of how we make it
61 I don't get it, if humans don't get spells from the frog gods who would they get them from?
62 I don't get, it if the old ones hopped from world to world why didn't they find a nice wetter world for us to rule with fewer enemies and more rain?
63 The priest said any gems we find have to go to the frog temple and clergy wouldn't lie
64 I'm unsure if the frog goddess of buried treasure or the frog wizard god are the best for me. I like spells and treasure
65 They say the frog temple inner secrets has mysterious artefacts from the stars
66 They say that a secret frog assassin cult guard certain temples and recover stolen relics so watch humans steal the bejewelled eyes of our idol again
67 Long ago in a great victory our heroes enslaved bugs and worms ancestors and so they must toil as food and beasts of burden for us
68 In the primal moist darkness amphibians ruled for aeons before these upstarts appeared, cut off from the holy nurturing waters of life 
69 Long ago the great frog devoured the sons and daughters of the bug and worm ancestors and then pooped the world into the cosmic ocean
70 Beware the vilest sons and daughters of the worm, the fiendish snake who would devour us if we did not eat them first
71 If you touch humans you will lose your warts or spots and your clan will not recognise you
72 Humans seem the logical replacement to work on our bug farms while bug and worm folk are best for eating and getting rare for some reason
73 We tried to see how long the humans can hold their breath for and they were not very good. Still, the scholars confirmed numerically with tests humans can drown in a few minutes. It is kinder research than the live dissections, that's just sadism 
74 Humans morphed from ape ancestors and we should have eaten them then if we had known what we know now
75 Is it true humans eat tadpoles and breathe fire or is that just the magic ones
76 I lived in the sewer under a human city for months and they never knew I was under their flippers. All the rats I could eat and running water. Sometimes you could surprise a human in the privy or enter a human house through the sewers for a laugh
77 I worked for a human wizard and he treated me alright for years until he was killed for being a frog lover by other humans. You can see how hopless they are
78 Humans take so long to grow up its a miracle they have thrived. Their tadpoles cant look after themselves and take a good ten years before they can fight properly. While a frog hero can spawn an army of 10000 in two years
79 A few frogs and toads live with humans so maybe they are not all soulless evil defilers of the wetlands. Im sure there are places like deserts and frozen wastes they can live in peace
80 Humans cut off their monkey tails at birth in a secretive birth rite, so messy and blood everywhere and the poor tadpole was screaming. So much mess for one tadpole instead of just laying a few thousand eggs in a pond
81 I had a giant pet salamander but when he tried to eat me I let him go in the drain of the human town so he could get lots of nice giant rats to gobble. He was three strides long and nipped at my tadpoles
82 I've met tree frog folk and burrowing toad folk and salamander folk but I have always wanted to talk to a cave olm deep in the earth to learn their old wisdom of how the world used to be
83 Those fire toads and burning salamanders from the plane of fire are pretty tough but my priest says they are cut off from water elements forever by their pact with the fire spirits
84 Its a shame our seafaring ancestors vanished long ago, probably eaten by damned dirty sea dinosaur bastards. Perhaps they offended the sea gods
85 I met a frog clan where they kept their tadpoles in their stomach to brood them and other clans that guard their spawn or carry them or bring them bubbles of air or carry their eggs. So much trouble when the old numbers game world is fine. Working so hard to keep only a few seems a foolish strategy
86 I heard those poison frogs got their venom from the bugs they eat in their jungle kingdoms and turn less toxic when cut off from these spicy bugs
87 My mother in law tried to eat me cos she is so huge and a grump but lucky I taste terrible and she spat me out
88 Ive had a few nasty falls but I must have some treefrog ancestor cos I caught myself and broke the fall a few times. My burglar friends were pretty impressed when I joined the gang. Eventually, the new guild master kicked out all the forgs and here I am
89 All the frog and toad clans have their own songs but humans just make mindless noises and can't stick to one good song because they will never even make one good poem. Bawdy vain rhymes about farts is the best they can come up with
90 There are quite a few frog demon monoliths in the bottom of lakes and ponds humans dont even know about. They foolishly removed our surface stone decoys of the old magic
91 I've met human frog cultists and they gave me bugs and hid me from human law keepers so I learned some humans can be counted as friends. I used to think they only did it to get drugs from us but after living with their families, I think we should keep some around not just slaves. They are cute pets sometimes if trained
92 I used to deliver messages to the human frog cult until I got in trouble when I seduced one of the frog kings daughters. He had hundreds I don't know why he was offended. It's my yellow spots, isn't it? They are getting bigger
93 I travelled to a few distant frog kingdoms far away and the jungle ruins of the frog god were an incredible site full of monsters and treasure dripping from every wet hole
94 So this guy Boss Frog. They totally run the black market with rare forbidden bugs and vice stuff. They have local humans worshipping them and buying frog weed and mushrooms they get for free in the swamp. They do anything Boss says it's hilarious. they bring him bugs on plates on their knees
95 Well of course we have to get the human cultists to sacrifice each other, human wizards used to dissect us and make children watch so we had to fix it. Now, most wizards have a frog or a toad. Frog god patrons of old are awakening from their eldritch brumations to get in on this new wave of cultists  
96 I don't know how I feel about were-frogs, they look like us sometimes but they are always morphing with a flipper in each world like a failed tadpole morph. I can see how they help our cause especially the were-frog bard school and as special travelling cult agents. I prefer they not come to the spring baths and orgies though
97 And those cultists who eat frog poop for the mutations. Wow! Talk about dedication. I mean I tried it once or twice and I thought it was a bug that one time I was sleepy. Then ones who permanently gain too many mutations sometimes turn into frog folk but you can always spot them. They won't have any propper old clan markings and just paint them on. It's a bit sad
98 The human frog cultists have lower order of souls obviously than us but they are a flipper above most of their backward kind and deserve some privilege. They can serve in our houses while the rest toil in our bug farms. Better still cultists can herd their unbeliever kin for us and carry whips and rods of office and special hats. It will be awesome
99 So once our kind obviously was in charge and all for all those giant salamanders that ruled the world for aeons there are less amphibian bodies to reincarnate into now. We have to do our bit and spawn so we will return as amphibians not mmals, its so simple a tadpole could work it out for themselves
100 It's getting harder to tell a frog god from a frog demon now days. It's like a few demons have become frogs for the laughs and some frog spirit patrons have decided to live up to their cultist's fantasies. Give me old-time anuran religion I say

Yes I wrote sections on Frog Gods in petty gods

Also my use of words soak and jumping has nothing to do with repressed Mormon teens