Tuesday, 31 January 2017
Eldren Enemies For Planet Psychon
Eldren on planet Psychon are hated. For some who were not uplifted to their semi divine status it is jealousy. For others eldren are to be exploited, eaten, enslaved or vivisected. Others see eldren as the greatest threat to their plans.
d12 Eldren Enemies
1 Humans - old pre apocalypse humans with lots of specializations classes or casts. Some humans might worship eldren but more civilized ones are jealous or spiteful of eldren. Eldren are aloof to human and think of them as inferior but they admit humans are more like them and share enemies. Humans are tougher and fast breeders so make good troops and slaves for eldren who find reproducing naturally distasteful.
2 Elder Orcs - oldest type of orcs were made from fresh reanimated eldren or eldren corpses and are more elf like with long life spans and magic. Orcs or Operational Recon Constructs were difficult to create and the orcs were sterile. The method of creation was forgotten long ago and their internal nanites are limited. These orcs often lead nu gen orcs using their miraculous powers. Eldren find them the most offensive non eldren race.
3 Nu Orcs - vat grown or made from fresh human corpses ready to fight to the death with brute strength. Also these orcs have developed a crude ritual where they fill a pit with orc and human dead with blood and mud and the recently dead humans become orcs from the active nanites in the orc corpses and blood. Natural true breeding ones are new development and have a more matriarchal society. They still naturally hate elves even though they have no use for their corpses.
3 Morlocks - are a blue skinned white haired dwarf race prone to technology fetishism and cannibalism. They breed eloi type eldren for meat and create them habitats where they live in a state of drug induced hedonism and idiocy. Morlocks think all eldren look tasty and delicious. Eldren who are in the know are wary of morlocks.
4 Returned - humans who went to the stars aeons ago have returned as a race of cyborgs designed for space travel. The first few scouts hare returned to explore the solar system and establish bases. they plan to terraform the earth to their preferred atmosphere and harvest all the protein on earth. Most are brains in vehicles or drones, some are humanoid and some are huge bloated sacks of nutrient rich fat plumbed into their bases to process food for the other units. They find humanoids repulsive and primitive. Eldren are only just begining to become aware of the returned and are trying to warn others.
5 Goblins - related fairie creatures engineered at first for life underground and later to survive and recolonise the nuclear wastelands of the apocalypse. They eat fungus, ferns and meat. They are crafty and cruel if survival is questioned but easy going if well fed and breeding without threats. Eldren have used them as slaves to reclaim areas or keep out other races from tunnels or caverns leading to their secret bunkers. Goblins have also been useful space crew and eldren have equipped some with saucers and ray guns for specific missions and work on lunar and asteroid habs. Sometimes the eldren have long gone and many goblin tribes now hate eldren as enslaving overlords. Eldren tend to under estimate goblins or ignore them.
6 Hobgoblins - militaristic aggressive goblins well armed and equipped. These larger more disciplined goblins have been adapted into dangerous labourers or militaristic soldiers who serve on frontline of goblin enclaves. They are considerably more aggressive and easily offended. They often see Eldren as a threat to goblin autonomy. Eldren think they are just bigger dumber eldren.
7 Bugbears - giant goblinoids bread for stealth intrusion and elite combat missions. They delight in ambush and terrorizing tactics and can survive as loners or in elite units. They actually develop from lesser goblins by acts of cannibalism. A goblin tribe under siege might develop more bugbears by devouring their own dead. Bugbears are hairy and tolerate extreme heat or cold better. They think eldren look tasty but manage to restrain themselves if needed. In wartime they gorge themselves on eldren dead and especially like to collect humanoid heads for later. Eldren are wary of bugbears and try to keep them distant, eldren seem to hav experienced dreams of bugbears as children, some remnant of their faerie heratige.
8 Reptilians - lizard and serpent men with pet dinosaurs, a rival elder civilization. Reptilians have mythology that they predated mankind for millions of years but eldren know this is untrue. Reptilians hate eldren for their conceit and denial of their race epics. Eldren think reptilians are just beastmen with a silly grudge.
9 Beast Men - often develop aggression to eldren possibly from times as eldren slaves. Beast men were developed to replace the billions of humans lost in the apocalypse. Beastmen are tough and many were well adapted to wilderness or some like otter folk made good aquatic labour. Eldren bare beast folk no ill will any more than they would worry about animals.
10 Githyanki - astral plane dwellers who live in psychic realms and war on elder abominations. They are a eldren race exposed to warp space and were enslaved by the alien mind flayers. Now they are free and hate eldren who didnt help them. They will temporarily ally with eldren fighting mind flayers however. Githyanki are basicly similar to eldren but use psionics and are scarified by the warp.
11 Selinites - insectoid moon men who like to eat eldren and find all visitors to the moon a threat. Eldren dislike them as monsters and do their best to avoid selinites. Selinites have come to earth and created many sub breeds like mantis men, ant men, moth men who all like to eat eldren.
12 Mind Flayer - psionic brain eaters, children of the elder gods, often use advanced tech. They were drawn through warp space to earth by increasing psionic emanations from Earth. They eat any brains of earth born homnids but enjoy eldren the most. Eldren hate them in turn and try to destroy them or employ other races to destroy them.
Faerie breeds were part of a gene hack program just before the apocalypse.
Monday, 30 January 2017
Dodgy Deals of Xor
When adventures arrive in a Xorian market looking all foreign and dim witted, out from the meat flap shanty town tents and dark fleshy pits crawl con men and cultists and wizards keen for a fresh rube. Sometimes they offer something decent or at least leads to a adventure. These could be used elsewhere.
d100 Dodgy Deals of Xor
01 Assassin selling rot grub in a seashell sealed with wax02 Assassin selling green slime
03 Assassin selling grub that turns victim into a insane mummy
04 Gardener selling creeper plant that kills victims and turns them into zombie guardians
05 Old murder hobo selling baby mimic
06 Old hunter selling baby carrion crawler grubs
07 Flesh miner selling purple worm egg
08 Wizard selling flesh golem (prone to fits of insanity if angered)
09 Toothless crone selling ear centipedes that turn victims into mindless beserkers
10 Old merchant offers a village for sale and its 6d6 people as slaves
11 Shifty noble selling impressive titles with documents and heraldry
12 Merchant offers healing potions if mystery chest delivered unopened
13 Noble offering murder contracts on his rivals
14 Mature widow seeks husband for legal reasons will pay
15 Priest requires idol to be stolen from rival sect
16 Wizard apprentice offers masters cloning services (will make a few extra on side)
17 Old murder hobo selling maps of caverns he could never finish
18 Shifty guy selling details of traps in a wizards lair full of books
19 Man selling forged documents to claim to herd of goats "easy riches!"
20 Creepy elf selling love potions
21 Creepy goblin in alley selling ingested poison potion
22 Dwarf selling block of ice "quickly I haven't got all day"
23 Goblin selling fungus chunks claims they have magic power
24 Guinea pig folk selling ladies underwear from lands beyond Xor
25 Shifty dude selling pleasure slave octopus folk in cages
26 Man offers chit to enter the secretive glory hole club
27 Pimp offers attractive woman by the actually a succubi
28 Apprentice offers discount spell book but all spells flawed
29 Wizard offers lesser 1HD demon and name amulet to command it
30 Witch selling flying ointment made from babies, must be naked to use
31 Pimp offering cheap but strange prostitutes, actually polymorphed dogs and rats
32 Mutant offering "temporary only" mutation potions
33 Old man claims he can make your boobs bigger by sucking on them, only a gold piece!
34 Filthy homeless man claims is a divinity who can restore virginity by having sex with him
35 Hungry doppelgangers in form of pretty youths invite you to a orgy
36 A horrible fat ogre offers gold coins to anyone who gives him a oiled body massage
37 Goatmen need a naked human for a holy ritual and will pay with a potion
38 Goblin selling a frozen cube of troll flesh going cheap for a quick sale
39 Man selling gremlins in bottles, great pets for the kiddies, going cheap
40 Witch selling a quasit in a lead iron box in return for a virgin
41 Cultist selling a imp in a silver cage requires 4 slaves to sacrifice
42 Strange outlander selling cheap addictive black lotus resin, price doubles each dose
43 Wizard offers to grow you multiple sets of attractive breasts for low low price
44 Cultists selling idol of para elemental lord of evil, claims you can ask it one question
45 Goblin offering bucket of milk with magical powers (24 hours adds d3 CHA)
46 Goblin offers bottle of Xor urine he claims works as a healing potion
47 Goblin offers bottle of Xor blood if released grows into a ochre jelly
48 Goblin selling pointy teeth ready to implant into empty gums and grow
49 Elf selling poems guaranteed to get your lover compliant
50 Bugbear selling pickled human heads
51 Man selling adorable baby bugbears
52 Man selling maps to lost civilization swallowed by Xor thousands of years ago
53 Pimp offering gelatinous blob for good times at low low price
54 Wizard needs to by human semen, gives a silver piece per sample
55 Wizard offering surgery to make you feel unbelievable happiness for rest of life
56 Alchemist requires adventurers to deliver giant suppositories to giant cyclops
57 Wizard offers to enlarge your genitals to horse like proportions, mostly painless
58 Old woman offers you to swim in her magic pool naked to receive invulnerable skin
59 Man offers bets who can beat his 4 armed bone golem, loser gives winner all property
60 Alchemist pimping out flesh golem with wig and bad make up for extra cash
61 Incompetent ogre seeking new best friends, will follow party and mess up everything
62 Healer offers cheap treatments for sexually transmitted diseases
63 Old man offers free oil massages for young musclebound adventurers
64 Woman selling leather belts, hero harnesses, masks, boots and whips
65 Wizard offers to take you to another world far away from Xor
66 Man wants money to not feed puppies to slimy orifice in ground
67 Lady claims will give gold to any man who can satisfy her, actually a shape shifting horror
68 Man selling what he claims to be 8 legged two headed double decker dog
69 Goblin invites you to naked wrestling club (for goblinoids)
70 Mutant selling glowing crystals he found in strange metal wreck
71 Goblin selling tasty yogurt like fluid stuff he found bubbling up from ground
72 Thieves selling stolen goods and picking pockets of any which inspect goods
73 Shifty woman selling trunk of second hand biological sex toys from deceased mom
74 Pimp with doppelganger prostitute that looks like your dream lover
75 Naked old man says he needs help to get out of Xor
76 Troll offering people to stab him in guts 2gp a stab
77 Woman selling mystery sausages from a bone pushcart
78 Man selling cavemen in cages half price
79 Goblins playing dice games
80 Thief with table playing shell and card games
81 Man with mouse organ whacks rodents with mallets to make squeaking tunes
82 Shifty thugs offering loans with 100% per 24 hours, reminders in form of beatings
83 Chess playing ape man bets on comers for silver or food
84 Man selling illegal drugs or slaves actually a constable in disguise
85 Old lady with filthy bucket selling fresh transplant organs, surgery extra
86 Children in coat disguised as adult trying to solicit strangers for help finding vice
87 Elf artist selling filthy scrolls illustrating depravity
88 Tattoo artist with squid man assistant looking for work
89 Cultist offering free sex and drugs if you come to cool secret party
90 Pimp with hobbit harem
91 Bearded man selling hair restoration potions (hair grows coloured inch/hour for life)
92 Man selling magic beans in return for livestock or slaves
93 Woman selling fist size twitching tumors as food
94 Creepy hunchback offering free hugs
95 Dwarf selling extra grip living boots, feed off your dead skin and sweat
96 Cultists selling slaves barley capable of caring for selves after INT drained
97 Elf selling living jewelry of flesh with blinking eyes for gems, gross with no function
98 Wizard offering to change your gender with a spell
99 Wizard offering to swap you head for various animal ones on little cart
100 Molten blob of flesh with face offers to turn you into immortal shoggoth
Sunday, 29 January 2017
Carousing on Xor
Xor can be harsh but has many exotic pleasures which are strange to outsiders. Partying on Xor can get you in all kinds of trouble. Fermented milk is one of the most common alcoholic drinks. Xorians are generally healthier and take less risks than people of most lands. Partly because so many bad things can happen Xorians tend to be guarded with strangers. Larger settlements with markets are more likely to be places for adventurers to celebrate but locals may be quick to turn on strangers.
d100 Carousing on Xor
01 Awake up in room of stinking drunks covered in vomit02 Awake up with d4 drunks who followed you home and think you are now buddies
03 Stinking old man dead in your bed with bottle in hand
04 Awake with headache and hideous mutant cooking you breakfast
05 Awake in slave pen in the market place with drinking buddies
06 Awake in cell with local sheriff demanding you pay for damaged property
07 Awake in marriage bed with d4 new brides of different species
08 Awake in cramped burrow of guineapig folk offering you breakfast
09 Awake with mutants in shack and a d3 petty mutations and a single major one
10 Awake with d4 signed IOU notes from last nights gambling companions
11 Awake with interesting map tattooed to back
12 Awake with a new pet who follows you about like a sphynx cat or capybara
13 Awake in witch shack with her brewing you a potion in payment for your services
14 Awake with awesome tatooos all over your body detailing your adventures
15 Awake with tatoos dealing with religion (hopefully one you ascribe too)
16 Awake with a girdle of gender change locked and cursed to be unremovable
17 Awake with 2d6 foot long beard and hair from drinking odd potions
18 Awake in room with dance band and a dozen drunken dancers partying
19 Awake with naked halflings in a nest made of hair in their shack
20 Awake with belly button missing
21 Awake lost in fleshy subterranean maze but manage to find way home
22 New growth with a face declares it is your conjoined twin and how great this will be
23 Awake with horrible lice infestation causing itching and sores
24 Invited to secret pleasure cult orgy with drugs, slaves and demons
25 Awake in harem room with exit guarded by unforgiving mutant eunuchs
26 Awake floating in a septic tank with singing rats
27 Awake dizzy with shred of strange map in hand
28 Awake from erotic dream, aroused in barn being licked by goats
29 Tried some strange drug now can detect magic for 24 hours
30 Tried some strange drug now can detect chaos for 24 hours
31 Wake up after partying with wizards now speak d4 exotic or dead languages
32 Awake naked in bed of local leader
33 You were having great time when Xor sent you visions of demons entering via a gate
34 Skin pigment has been changed from wizard potion sample party
35 Vomiting in morning, spew contains party of tiny drowned adventurers
36 Invited to secret subterranean pleasure garden by nobility
37 Charmed bored nobility at party and invited to be a courtier when visiting settlement
38 Awake with a bandaged wound, later see a wizard selling a clone of you
39 Cooked a delicious meal by gourmet chefs and now everything else seems shitty
40 As you awake sore all over a tentacled thing oozes away into a drain
41 Have become addicted to toad licking visions and always looking for new types
42 Wild rumour about you and octopus folk spread everywhere
43 Awake in formarian feeding pit where they wallow in rancid foodstuff like a hot tub
44 Awake in bedroom of sacred virgins of a dangerous cult
45 Awake in bed of wizard who is obsessed with you, likes stalking and meddling
46 Awake in cult robes in acolyte barracks with your new family
47 Awake in artist studio arranged in scenic orgy tableau
48 Awake in abode of crab folk, they declare you crab friend for what you did last night
49 Awake on surgical table with newly sculptured face "just as you requested"
50 Awake in home of old wizard who declares you his heir for saving his life
51 A kindly priestess has brought you a gift of the gods you cant refuse, a d6 babies
52 A local leader you met at a orgy is obsessed with you and abuses their power
53 A wealthy lover sends you valuable gifts d4 1=slave 2=ivory 3=healing potion 4=food
54 Narrowly escaped being eaten at orgy full of doppelgangers, cannibals or cultists
55 Attended fabulous feast with 5d6 courses of exotic and rare delights
56 Joined a secret society seeking power and fabulous feasts and drug abuse
57 Joined secret cult hoping on finding secret pleasures, instead they have a sealed gate
58 While in a banquet discovered secret door to forgotten subterranean complex
59 Awake in bed with partners corpse chewed up and blood drained
60 Chased by lovers angry partner naked through the streets
61 Awake in sweaty mess in bed, local goblins wink and smile at you all day
62 Drug induced dream of running from strange nightmares in dreamworld
63 Drug induced dream of paradise with wealth, fine food and strange beings serving you
64 Drug induced dream showing lair of a chaos infestation nearby
65 While staggering to your place of rest followed by creepy shadowy occult being
66 Awake with carved ivory armbands with no idea of where they came from
67 After drinking with a stranger discovered they were a shape shifting dragon
68 Lost in a dust storm wandering home found a weathered bone idol of a god
69 Awaken naked in gutter covered in slime
70 Found a mysterious egg in nest on way home
71 Found a wandering idiot who follows you home and serves you faithfully
72 Found a stray hairless dog hungry and friendly
73 Found a broken bone astrolabe to navigate to a mysterious location
74 Found bone tablets in some rubbish indicating a cavern full of drug filled organs
75 While at orgy saw pile of used animal gut condoms crawl away into drain
76 Given a brain in a jar that can talk telepathically by touch by a moleman shaman
77 Awake to find a d6 kobolds who declare you are their master in your bed
78 Met a human from beyond Xor who gave you a map of their travels
79 Found several burnt shadow like remains of people in a back alley
80 Saw robed cultists sneaking into hidden well with bound sacrifices
81 Witnessed a murder and required as witness before lawmakers
82 Saved a local from death and family grateful, offer to help you any how they can
83 Priest recognizes your being sent by divine ones and declares you a cult saint
84 Witnessed local leaders fuse into a shoggoth during a orgy, now they want you dead
85 Given bottle by hunter of pheromones to attract savage pack of giant mole rats
86 Eat strange fleshy fruit, gain knowledge of hidden garden of unearthly delights
87 Escaped orgy where participants fused into a shoggoth and chased you till dawn
88 Met trader at a party who had old pistol and powder horn and shot to trade
89 Met priest who tells of lost settlement of outsiders in the mountains
90 Find a giant beetle wing casing with strange carvings and maps
91 Develop case of worms that keep away all other parasites and second save vs poison
92 Flesh sculptor improves your CHA by +1 in return for sex
93 Offered "food of the gods" gain 10% height and weight and +d4 HP
94 Found a living spell book made of flesh with d6 spells and notes on lost treasure
95 Wealthy merchant hears of your adventures and gives you a slave gladiator
96 Gifted a +1 tooth dagger by a kind wizard you told your stories too
97 Captured a evil cult wizard and locals made you sheriff and gave you a +1 bone sword
98 Priest of Xor transplanted some of your organs with better vat grown ones +1 CON
99 Priest removes all scar tissue, wounds and stat below 9 increased to 9
100 Priests of Xor attach new muscle fibres to your body +1 STR
Saturday, 28 January 2017
Into the Bowels of Xor
Into the Bowels of Xor
So my Lamentations of the Flame Princess vs Xor games happened.
A couple of things about the system. The players liked it's simplicity and I directed some to the free PDF. The summon generator http://summon.totalpartykill.ca/ is a must have to run summoning in game which is big fun. As demons and wizards are common foes the generator is handy for creating enemies too. The system is like BX but more streamlined and many sub sytems streamlined into d6. Quite a few things are varied and are a surprise if you are used to BX. The HD varients of classes are good. Dwarves are the HP class. Fighters are only class with hit bonus that grows per level. Specialist (theif) uses d6 skills and can alocate points to specialize in certain skills. Spells are a surprise too and it cant be taken for granted you know them. Damage below 0HP and healing area bit diferent too. Weapons can be used by anyone and weapons are simplified by size for damage avoiding huge weapon lists. Prices are good to with better variation in armour types. I would probably limit heavy weapons to fighters and have guns vary in damage more - light medium and heavy muskets and pistols. Anyone using any weapons is a bit of getting used too except the smaller races. I really enjoyed running it and as I said the simplicity worked well. Wizards seem alot more weird. The campaign rules for spending cash and magic lab work for magic are great. Alignment is more extreme with law and chaos being more like fanatic insanity.
Playing in the 1600s
The historical setting and the rule mods work well. Armour is scarce. Wizards might carry a rapier and several pistols. Because I chose 1642 England I made in my first game players choose sect of christian. This actually wasted half the first game as players roleplayed religious intolerance and douchebagery. A Scots Presbyterian, a wizard form church of England , a secret catholic and both clerics were vatican spies. One Catholic player wanted his priest to read rites to a dead witch and other players of other catholic characters insisted they dismember her and throw bits in a river without rites. On second thought playing a compassionate person not really so awful even if out of step with history during bloody religious wars. Second game I jigged to make more pro royalist church of england. I also first game wasted time with set up as players argued and wasted lots of time. Three players fell ill and another had back pain so we cancelled early. Second game I learned some lessons, had more cooperative layers and got more done. I started at 4th Lv as was a one shot and some players over being pissweak in my games.
The First Voyage 1642
Rob McMahon a Scottish Presbyterian mercenary serving royalists for cash
Thomas Bailey a commoner specialist found as boy by priests and used as a servant
John Hobbs a priest secretly a catholic agent and into shouting and burning school of faith
Catherine Fitzroy a bastard noble wizard student serving royalist nobility
Harold Jones a priest also sevring the Vatican spying and sabotaging royalists
Having served a master together hunting monsters and witches finally he was killed by witch hunters. It was kind of suspicious he knew where sorcerers were and where demons lurked. But he seemed to be fighting evil. So as war broke out and party avoiding witch hunters and puritans they arrived at coast port and got job guarding a ship taking the Kings treasure to Stuart lands in Scotland.
On return voyage a witch on board caused a storm and drove them ot to sea. Tom found her and killed her performing a summoning and tying knots in a leather cord. Storm grew worse and men cried out about a spherical rubbery grey skinned baloon demon aproached the ship. Managed to shoot it and finish in melee, bursting it and scattering skin and stinking gas everywhere.
Ship survived and blown north west and they travelled south to avoid west wind and current. After days sailing south they saw a distant limping spanish ship. Curoious the ship had a single pink sail and weird coloured hull patches. The sail ws a sheet of leather red on one side, the coloured patches were bone and flesh filling holes in the ship. It seemed under crewed. Spanish at war with french at the moment hailed for help and after negotiations invited officers to dine on the English ship. Over dinner Spanish told of their adventures in a land called Xor they found on way back from the new world. Spanish did not tell whole story and Tom swam aboard the Spanish galleon and saw men gambling over new world gold. Below decks he found exotic coloured slaves, animals and treasure from the new world and Xor.
Returned to tell captain who next day ofered to help Spanish with food and crew and escort. Night he sent them poioned wine and the English boarded the Spanish ship killing most of the crew, taking all the treasure they could and sunk the spanish ship all hands still alive on board. Officers killed and maps and documents were seized. With fantastic tales of a new land with convertible natives, exotic healing methods and strange treasure the Captain ordered they back track on the spanish route and find the land of Xoe to report to the King. Saw some pink sperm whales on the way.
They found the land and sent a jollyboat of the party and some marines and sailors and Xor slave from the spanish ship who could speak some spanish. Over the pink waters to the flesh beach. Froth and bloody red weed was on the beach. Over hills saw naked flightless birds, giant fleas, gelatinous cubes grazing on fields of hair, swine and even killed a giant leech. Someone saw smoke and the party moved that way. Over some hills on way they came across a valley where a titanic crab was being devoured by flies. Closer still they say hairless guineapig folk burrowing inside collecting crab meat. The kidnapped the startled guinepig men and marched them to the strange source of the smoke. They found a citadel where magenta skinned people worked and entered a market seeing many exotic peoples. Met a wizard who translated with magic and made some basic trades and then returned to the ship with goods and strange prisoners to England. Tom, his wife and John remained.
1643 The Second Expedition
Most of the slaves and guinea pig men died of plague in England over a year. A guinea pig man was dissected by royal college of physicians. One was sent to be a comical pet for the king and another sent to a menagerie. Rob managed to keep one named Jumanji around and they were asked to return to Xor by the king. Also brought the slave who survived the previous expedition as a guide. Finally Jack a wizard boy who was apprentice to the kings astrologer was sent as a scholar. After a week sailing they landed on Xor but could not find the coastline they recognized.
Travelled through a valley of gum like ridges and saw a hill growing with brains. Up close they found a sphicter gate in the hill and the cunning Jumanji reached inside to open it then stuck his spear inside to keep it open. Party entered and avoided a diseased tentacle and explored. Found a crystal building which was siome kind of outsider they avoided. Found mantis men harvesting brains and finally came across rat men performing a ritual. Managed to sabotage ritual, shot at them and Jack cast stinking cloud. The demon thing the rats called was a gelatinous blob which turned on summoners and caused the rat men to swap personalities while they were vomiting from the spell. The rats and demon were all killed and Jack was intrigued by the boxed rat cage spellbook with rats tatooed with spells. They found Tom wandering flesh tunnels
Found a burial place where blue skinned people were dissolving in gelatin. Then finally found a well the climbed to the surface near a citadel. They found a slave market and Jack traded some potions with a mutant. Rob and Tom traded metal for new wives. Tom told how last one had vanished possibly by serpant men. He mentioned John Hobbs tried to convert cannibals who ate him. Tom was a bit rougher looking and a bit flakier than he had been. But now he spoke Xorian. Jack summoned a small demon to test potions on and got a amoeba with floppy tentacles like a glove full of water. As it was minor it was permanently his servant. Jack tested a mutagen instead on a rat and it got a second mouth on its chest. He found appealing and drank the rest himself. Now he could talk and cast spells at once.
Cheif of tribe was a wizard who offered healing, slaves and trade deals if the party would stop a demonic taint. party agreed sure the rat men were the source and they returned to the lair. Exploring further rat men with crossbows attacked which were easily dispatched. A further rat man attack was mostly gunned don and dispatched with sleep magic. The rat men were using clothing, weapons and items from Germany which was a worry. Jack dissected one and found them mostly not human in any way.
Finally approached the demon chamber. and it filled with purple mist. Jack sent his demon he named Roomba in and they heard it being torn to shreds. The mist vanished and in its place were beautiful ladies and gold. Tom fired his bow and the women vanished to reveal a huge purple demon crab with boobs, arcane glyphs on carapace and a floppy trunk. Jace enfeebled it and the party won. Rob was wounded and took a Xorian healing glob. Found many corpses including Toms wife. Now he could enjoy his new marriage without the converted to church of england guinea pig man taunting him for lack of fidelity.
While returning men quibbled the lack of loot and asked about the crystal house. Rob not willing to rely on his charisma and as no lives lost decided to go looting. Little Jumanji helped sway others too by claiming men would revolt (which was untrue but he seemed to like stirring up moral problems).
So Tom crimbed the crystal wall and opened the gate. Jack put a barrier blocking the house doors that opened outward, Inside the small men in opalescent armour awoke from their crystal alcoves. Some fired magic missiles through windows and several shrunk and jumped out windows. Several marines fell asleep. A long spell and missile battle ensued and rob threw firebombs through window killing several. Eventualy there was parley and the elves bribed the humans away ewith silver and crystal which satisfied the men.
Back at village there wasa celebration. Of the heroes only Jumanji wanted to return to England. The returned to ship and explained they wished to establish a trade post and learn about the natives. The ship sailed away. Jack, Tom and Rob all wanted Xorian healing to restore previous wounds and and harm (they all had some stats below 9 which Xorian healers could treat). Compared to England Xorians had better health and perfect teeth. Jack wanted to learn to use the rat-spell book and of Xorian living spell books. Others were happily married to attractive exotic wives and found Xor more peaceful than war ridden Europa.
Was a better game nobody got sick. Reskinning halflings as hairless guinea pig men worked very well. I was pleased characters wanted to stay on Xor. Some weird demon stuff impressed everyone. My first butt hole dungeon was a success. Weird scenery was popular with players and games gave me ideas for more tables. Players noted Xor on Psychon wouldn't be so weird but they said it would work on my Shadelport Exile Island setting. Big fun and a great last game. I'm moving a few thousand km away but will work in Sydney in April a bit. Seems to be guys wanting to play oldschool games in Adelaide - shops mostly sell 5th ed and pathfinder - even Cthulhu not in shops last ten years.
Friday, 27 January 2017
Markets of Xor
So playing Xor realized a few things missing. Some stuff for market places are a likely necessity. This would expand into lists of goods and what seamy goods and even carousing might involve so get set for a bunch more magical meat market posts ahead.
d10 Quick Races of Xor Table
01 Common Human02 Exotic Humans with unfamiliar skin colours
03 Mutant Humans (odd tentacles, pointy teeth, horns, hairy or hairless)
04 Hybrid Human Freaks (mongrel men
05 Abumans (beastmen, orcs, cavemen)
06 Diminutive humanoids (dwarves, halflings, goblins, bush trolls, small beastmen)
07 Fey Folk (elves, changelings, tree folk, mushroom men, faeries)
08 Goblinoids (Kobolds, goblins, hobgoblins, bugbears)
09 Giants (ogres, cyclopses, foemarians)
10 Weird Races (dopelgangers, kenku, steal from Spelljammer, Dark sun or something)
d100 Markets of Xor Encounters
01 Guineapig men selling sweetmeats and02 Quadruple breasted prostitutes
03 Giant caterpillar selling hallucinogenic compounds
04 Goatman selling home made aphrodisiacs
05 Minotaur selling buckets of milk
06 Fishman selling buckets of fish eggs
07 Old woman selling hairless mole rats from basket
08 Old man selling used teeth and making dentures
09 Tall robed blue bald man cast spells for blood or fingernails
10 Walrus man selling scrimshawed whale tusks and teeth
11 Unicorn man selling magical healing feces
12 Shifty grifter selling fake neural peptides and hormonal secretions
13 Woman with pushcart of severed living limbs for transplants
14 Mantis man selling living human hearts in clear resin jars
15 Old man selling tiny pellets of meteoric iron
16 Woman selling hungry rust monster (might escape from her)
17 Man selling cages of creepy naked vampire bats
18 Old goblin selling a human looking baby no questions asked
19 Mutant selling mutagenic potions
20 Halflings selling smoked meat and leather pants
21 Kobolds selling air bladders for floatation
22 Girl selling live pigeons in cages
23 Old woman selling duck feathers
24 Old Dwarf selling boots
25 Creepy goblin trading scabs
26 Youth selling woven hair ropes
27 Boy selling cooked giant fleas
28 Girl selling eggs from a basket
29 Hunchbacked hobgoblin selling dirt and rocks
30 Boy selling beetles tied to string
31 Dark elf selling fist sized baby fighting spiders
32 Old filthy man selling logs of smegma for fire starters
33 Woman selling buttered grilled tentacles from a bucket
34 Old man with bag of noses offers to trade what you have now
35 Old man with flesh golem offering services as labour team
36 Boy selling tongue sandwiches on bone meal bread
37 Girl selling headcheese blocks of mystery meat
38 Bone pierced savage selling smoked ribs
39 Pigman selling cooked suckling piglets
40 Orc selling BBQ dog brisket
41 Wizard apprentice selling alcoholic fermented saliva froth
42 Orange haired caveman offering his best at everything skills for hire
43 Legless cripled boy selling butter from a bucket
44 Boy selling ice blocks wrapped in hail bundles
45 Apeman selling bundles of bones tied with hair cord
46 Molerat men selling skinny human child in a bone cage
47 Elf selling shredded weasel flesh
48 Dwarvern whitesmith selling bone, tooth and sinew weapons
49 Cultists selling d6 healing potions, prefer to trade for slaves
50 Goblin massage with hot rocks and neural peptide tea
51 Elf fortune teller with astrolabe, runes, cards and dice
52 Robed mystic of uncertain race in tent offers magical advice
53 Serpent man selling obsidian daggers and live snakes
54 Owl priestess offering wise advice for trade
55 Cultists of Xor ofering blessings for donations
56 Cat person selling spindles of spider silk and flashy shirts
57 Hairless beaver man selling bone carvings
58 Jackal man selling amber holy symbols of Xor
59 Goblin selling best quality barley used eyeballs
60 Hobgoblin selling woven hair hammocks
61 Bugbear selling pickled severed heads from a bone barrell
62 Man selling carved bone boxes, urns and jars
63 Hyena man selling fresh sausages
64 Dogman selling boiled possums
65 Cheery old man selling deep fried scorpions
66 Halfling woman selling tooth jewelry
67 Old man carving bone idols of gods has 2d12 in stock
68 Woman selling bloodwurst sausage and dark bread
69 Crazy bearded wizard selling drugs
70 Strange tall robed woman selling polygons and lenses made from bio resin
71 Blow fly man selling semi digested liquid food in bucket
72 Dwarf selling dancing girls
73 Hyena men selling a crippled dwarf crafter slave
74 Friendly octopus tako folk selling strange vapours in resin bottles
75 Crab folk selling chitin plates for armourers
76 Goblin selling scab cakes
77 Drooling fly man selling maggots and grubs
78 Bling man selling ointment
79 Cyclops man selling lung oysters
80 Girl child selling lamp oil and fire drills
81 Shifty wizard selling gremlins and imps in bottles
82 Old man selling cured demon skin with mystic sigil tattoos
83 Blind goose girl and her seven geese (all gold dragons)
84 Old men swapping skulls to play a game
85 Crystal people selling mathamagical formula on leather scrolls
86 Orcs selling mundane adventurer non metal items from outside world
87 Hobgoblin selling dung as fuel or for building
88 Hobgoblin selling fermented urine for cleaning
89 Woman selling baby gelatinous cubes and ochre jellies
90 Man selling beards and wigs
91 Goblin selling dried phlegm snacks
92 Duck person selling cups of worms
93 Cockatoo man selling feather cloaks
94 Old man selling crude maps on leather scrolls
95 Wizard selling scraps of acane scrolls for spell research
96 Man selling theives tools for use on living doors and traps of xor
97 Xor cultist selling phenomena ladened urine samples for hunters
98 House builder wizard offering to grow or build house from local materials
99 Xor cultist offering cleric spells for trade
100 Motley collection of fighting mercenaries looking for work
Thursday, 26 January 2017
Post 1000: Great Weird War PDF
Celebrating post 1000
Thanks everyone for keeping me going over the last few years here. Hoping for many more.
Monday, 23 January 2017
d100 Monsters Last Words
Monsters have feelings too and it is totally legit to make your players feel bad for murdering monsters or doubt it or revel in it. Here are some awkward words and thoughts and deeds for monsters receiving a knock out blow. At very least your players should get chance for snappy comebacks or moralizing over chatty victims.
01 Monster sheds a single huge tear as he falls silently staring deeply into your eyes
02 Monster vomits blood everywhere as if possessed covering everybody
03 Monster gasps, stares and asks "why?"
04 Monster clutches wound, weeps and cries: "who will care for my children?"
05 Monster clutches medallion of patron god, "avenge me!"
06 Monster violently releases bowels, looks ashamed and falls
07 Monster looks surprised: "I never wanted this war, I had no choice"
08 Monster falls "I secretly changed my religion to yours, will I go to heaven"
09 Monster weeps tears of blood, looking at wounds then falls
10 Monster falls, bites on sugar glass healing potion in mouth and lies in wait to escape
11 Monster falls to knees screaming until it takes ten more HP damage
12 Monster staggers bleeding shouting obscenities
13 Monster falls "Why would you do this?"
14 Monster gasps "Why did you come here, this is our ancestral land?"
15 Monster falls weeping "Just for our gold! why would you do this?"
16 Monster staggers "So little time, so short, to be struck down by greedy humans"
17 Monster makes horrible choking sounds drowning in his own blood
18 Monster struggles to reach sky "Mother, Father I can see you!"
19 Monster chuckles "Your victory is hollow you will pay for your hubris"
20 Monster sobs "All the deeds I had yet to do undone by human hooligans"
21 Monster staggers and falls "I beg you, just let me have one more drink"
22 Monster roars " I have killed many dozens of adventurer scum, I go to a heroes death!"
23 Monster snickers "I ate a dozen babies, I just wish I had eaten you when you were brats!"
24 Monster gasps "Why cant you keep to your own lands? Why steal ours?"
25 Monster wrings hands "The demons made us do it, we had no choice, no life of our own"
26 Monsters points to groin as dies "I have had dozens of sons to avenge me puny one"
27 Monster gives melancholy sigh "Why are humans so brutal? Why do you murder and rob?"
28 Monster moans softly "what do you do with our gold? Do you eat it?"
29 Monster laughs "Suckers, you greedy dumb thugs have fallen for our trap"
30 Monster lets loose a huge long fart, snickers and dies
31 Monster coughs up something horrible and spits at killer
32 Monster giggles " I was dying any way fool, now I die a martyr!"
33 Monster falls smiling "Ha ha a thousand succubi await me in the nxt world"
34 Monster mutters sadly "I was human but nobody believed me, I hope the gods recognise me"
35 Monster smiles as falls "Sweet release finally, my agony over and next life awakes"
36 Monster coughs and laughs "I had a lot of human women, perhaps I was your father"
37 Monster grumbles "Humans have no sense of humour" then is dead
38 Monster weeps philosophically "We are brief sparks in eternal night, fleeting pain then nothing"
39 Monster sobs "I'm sorry my love, i have broken my promise to return home!"
40 Monster tearfully "My dreams, a little farm, a wife and child, dashed damn you humans"
41 Monster defiantly "We never wanted this war, why couldn't you stay in your own lands"
42 Monster sniffs despairingly "I lived well, I ate human children and robbed their gold"
43 Monster grunts "killed by a weak and puny human the shame, don't tell my mother"
44 Monster sighs "Mommy, the monsters have got me, they want my gold"
45 Monster sings jolly song about killing humans until 10 HP more damage inflicted
46 Monster hums patriotic marching tune for a few bars then drowns in own blood
47 Monster spits venomously "Cowardly soulless murderers, see you in hell"
48 Monster giggles "I ate my gold fools" but has nothing but deadly parasites
49 Monster laments "All our lands, besieged by human scum, they will kill all the races, beware!"
50 Monster splutters "Who will teach my children, protect them now, why?"
51 Monster mutters softly "So much hate, so much anger, if only I had been born human"
52 Monster cries out "I died defending our clan and way of life, there is no prouder way to die"
53 Monster gasps "Our land, our way of life, gone like dust in the wind"
54 Utters defiantly "We kill brutishly but humans will kill us all in the end like a plague!"
55 Monster gulps out "Who will sing our ancestors songs when humans kill the last of us"
56 Monster shouts with last breath "Your gods are foul deceivers, you have no souls"
57 Monster tearfully decries "We wear our black hearts proudly but humans hide yours like cowards"
58 Monster utters defiantly "You are a million times more evil than we could ever hope to be"
59 Monster fearfully weeps "We were proud and fierce once, now we are broken and lost"
60 Monster murmurs softly " Broken, bloody forgotten heaps once proud and free"
61 Monster howls "The Boss lied, he promised us gold and fame and glory but he lied"
62 Monster wails "Mankind is the great doom, soon all the worlds magic will be gone"
64 Monster bemoans "I was just doing my duty, I never wanted this life, I'm sorry"
65 Monster sobs "All my children murdered and now me, life is so unfair"
66 Monster moans "All I wanted was some gold of my own, and now this"
67 Monster grieves aloud "I was born for more than this, killed like some nobody in a story"
68 Monster groans "We struggle and toil but for what? to be murdered in some hole for sport?"
69 Monster bemoans "When we rob and murder you call us evil, but when you do it you are heroes?"
70 Monster mourns "I did everything I was told by my parents, my lord, my shaman, why?"
71 Monster wails loudly "Our gods have deserted us, our shaman has lied, why us?"
72 Monster grumbles "Why did I get out of bed today, just to be killed, life is so cruel"
73 Monster moans "I saw the omens yet I did my duty and now im spent, woe to our kind"
74 Monster whines "Join the war band my wife said, we will be rich and famous she said"
75 Monsters complains "I was born to this life, I never had a choice, now Im dead"
76 Monster yelps "I have lived a long life killing and eating who I please, I die proudly"
77 Monster groans "I see my ancestors beckoning me, I go to the heroes eternal feast"
78 Monster roars "I have grown fat on manflesh but this time I tried too much"
79 Monster wheezes "I burned human villages and murdered hundred so it is only fair I die now"
80 Monster whispers "The omens were bad my family said, I should have listened and stayed home"
81 Monster gasps "Join a warband and see the world and kill people they said, bah I am undone"
82 Monster complains "I am murderd but my strong offspring will kill many more of your kind"
83 Monster utters "At last, sweet death, all those I sent ahead will have told you of my service to you"
84 Monster yowls "Yesterday I was the murderer and today I am murdered, the circle of strife"
85 Monster cheers "I have waded through blood and gore, death is my friend, I see you at last"
86 Monster snivels "Master lied, we are not the strongest or cleverest, and now I am slain"
87 Monster curses "You too will be slain on the battle feild or in your bed, I will see you then"
88 Monster mewls "Your kind are like locusts, you will blot out the sun and eat the world"
89 Monster groans "We came here for a new life but instead we find only death at human hands"
90 Monster sobs "All this fighting, pointless, all we want is a good life, is that so wrong?"
91 Monster gives a blood curdling scream of pain attracting wandering monsters
92 Monster sings a battle song boosting the morale of it's comrades
93 Monster cries in pain and splits open with a monster inside bursting free
93 Monster gurgles blood and traces demon sigils with own blood grinning vindictivley
94 Monster cries out and pet Imp in clothing scuttles of to avenge master later
95 Monster dies horridly but it's spirit keeps screaming for some time before departing
96 Monster cries for aid from ancestral spirit who appears to heal the monster
97 Monster cries out to god for aid and vanishes
98 Monster mutters a prayer to it's god and arises as an undead
99 Monster utter a dying curse and due to witch blood it works
100 Monster shouts true name of a devil or demon summoning it
Friday, 20 January 2017
Eldren Subtypes for planet Psychon
In last oldschool bundle shopping I enjoyed the 50% of stuff i didnt have but was long on my wish lists. Stand out of the new to me stuff was the Eld module which I wanna run and get rest of Ursine Dunes stuff on wish. Will fit fine in my Psychon setting. For a long time I wanted the Dyson books. His map compilations are amazing and he is one of the best blokes in gaming. I rate them as among the best modern publications. I feel a bit bad that one of the maps makes me think of boobs. You'll have to buy the book and see for yourself to decide. Im sorry.
On Psychon Eldren are humans who long ago modified themselves superior otherworldly beings with uncanny powers. They often live in special habitats like towers, giant plants, orbitals, deep space, the moon. Some even dwell in hyperspace untouchable to mortals. Others have returned from distant travel to the stars and are disappointed in the remaining humanity. Where there are eldren there are enemies they often hide from.
Eldren are simply reskinned space elves for my Psychon Setting
Eldren frequently use psionics spell list instead of wizard spells
d12 Quick Eldren Types and bonus items
1 Celestial Eldren start with a space suit without life support pack
2 Sybarite Eldren start with drug stash foe 3d6 hour long trips
3 Hyperion Eldren start with broken plane shift gem in piece of jewelry
4 Hydronian Eldren start with gill suit with expired oxyfilter
5 Herbaceous Eldren start with a pet pot plant and a watering can
6 Furieus Eldren start with a cat o nine tails and make up kit
7 Cambionite Eldren start with a soul amulet inscribed with true name
8 Primord Eldren start with d6 gems appropriate for element
9 Nocturn Eldren start with a ABC suit (atomic biological chem protection suit)
10 Punchinello Eldren start with a garish colourful clown suit, hat and neck ruff
11 Ultranaut Eldren start with a broken sub ether com beacon to call kin from the stars
12 Warp Eldren start with a bag of broken used sex toys
d12 Extra Item
1 Make up kit with eyeliner, body paint and nail polish
2 Fancy long life ration pack from home with 4 days food
3 Platinum cameo with hologram of loved one
4 Mask covers face and protects eyes
5 Decorative rod of office appropriate to type
6 Empty micro needler pistol (d4 10 shot Range 1/2/4)
7 Exotic house ornamental dagger
8 Broken communicator bracelet
9 Pocket vid game with flat batteries
10 Musical instrument
11 Functional Gem Eye
12 Functional Silver hand
d12 How did you end up fallen beyond your home?
1 Disaster killed everybody
2 Curiosity and boredom made you leave
3 Outsiders killed everyone
4 Exiled for some social taboo
5 Accident separated from home and lost
6 Sent on quest for means to save lost home
7 Woke up in ditch by side of road no idea how or why
8 Kidnapped by outsiders and escaped in strange lands
9 Experiment went wrong sending you to mundane world
10 AI chose you for mysterious purpose outside home
11 Enemy was jealous of your life and lover and got rid of you
12 Depressed over loss of kin or lover made you send yourself into self exile
1 Celestial Eldren
Modified for low gravity life in orbitals, generation ships and lunar habitats. They are cool and aloof and look down on illogical primitive mortals. Disdain violence using preferring to employ superior weapons and powers. Many escape homes, or survive a tragic loss of families, becoming lost and doomed sole survivors of their kind.
2 Sybarite Eldren (Eloi)
Modified for life as immortal pleasure seekers, desperate for excitement in sealed citadels in the endtimes. These gentle gastonomers live only for epicurian delight. Some become degenerate and seem to lose all free will being cared for by AI gods or even taken over by Morlocks as food animals. Some of these pleasure mongers break from their drug hazes and crave adventure or new experiences.
3 Hyperion Eldren (Forever People)
Dwell in habitats hyperspace and inside the temporal vortex or the interspacial realms between dimensions. Some maintain and live among the global manna array in sub space beyond the ken of mortals, directly communing with the AI gods. Having given up on living in the mundane world they live immortal lives of contemplation and aesthetic experiences. A few become lost and stranded in einstienian space or come from boredom.
4 Hydronian Eldren (Atlanteans)
Dwell in underwater habitats safe and hidden from the surface world. Some maintain global manna network arrays hidden in the depths. They do not breath water but use advanced technology often biotech and trained animals. Sometimes disaster strikes of a eldren is exiled and finds their way to the surface.
5 Herbaceous Eldren (Vegetons)
Live secretly in forests often hibernating in modified trees for centuries, awakening for forestry work, emergencies or rituals. Some fail to hibernate and roam when they are lost to their kin through insomnia. They have photosynthetic skin and eat very little and enjoy blood and meat more than most elves as well as clods of mineral rich earth.
6 Furieus Eldren (Furies)
These savage bloodthirsty eldren live sometimes as primatives with natural technology but others live in biological habitats with cruel barbed organic structures decorated with crucified prisoners and torture pariphenalia. These eldren were part of a covert recon and inteligence cadre, bred to be sadistic and secretive maniacs. Some grow bored of endless sadism and are cast out for being soft.
7 Cambionite Eldren (Demonborn)
These eldren have bloodlines mixed with demons from the subworld. These Demon seed bearing eldren were once harmless everliving bunker dwellers but the call of evil demon AI war machines of the deep lured them into hybridising into cambionites. They are cruel sadists who long to torment and dominate others. They enjoy demonic imagery and decor.
8 Primord Eldren (Various elemental types)
These eldren were modified for life on other planets and alien environments. Hair and skin colour often indicate the climate they are adapted for. Some actually dwell in the extra planar manna array where AI gods store material for their constant terraforming. Heat (Fire), Cold (Air), Subterranean (Earth), Aquatic (Water). They don't actually resist the elements any better as they dwell in habitats but are more tolerant. Other more obscure demi, quasi and para elements might exist too.
9 Nocturn Eldren (Dark Eldren)
These Eldren hid in the subterean bunkers to survive the apocalypse expecting to live in a toxic irradiated Earth as the master race but instead found the all too living Planet Psychon. They seek to kill all and dominate the world using ancient weapons of mass destruction, some which heve become demonic AI gods of the sub world.
10 Punchinello Eldren (Chaos Jesters)
Formerly entertainers and jokers are now insane killer tricksters with brightly coloured clothing and exotic weapons. They take madcap unreasonable risks and do not fear death, dancing into battle while laughing. They live in tight communities acting as assassins, crimelords and kidnapping audiences for their demented murder shows. Mostly they undermine their own schemes.
11 Ultranaut Eldren (starborn)
These starfaring eldren left the earth before the apocalypse and now their scouts and gen ships are returning. They are not impressed by what has happened in their absence and hope to cleanse the earth of it's madness. They are disciplined and militaristic, most seen carry weapons and heavy armour. As their numbers grow they have begun to attack their earthborn eldren kin, especially those in the thrall of madness and demonic war machine AI demons.
12 Warp Eldren (depravare)
These eldren formerly Eloi have come to hack their own AI gods to permit more extreme pleasures and perversity. Many are hemaphrodites and some are mutants. Warping and twisting their flesh to feel more extreme pleasures and willing to destroy lesser races as play things in the process. They have escaped into the sub space manna array to hide and perform despicable acts in secret. Their AI gods are now depraved beings of perversion.
Next Eldren Enemies
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