Thursday, 30 March 2023

d100 Monsters doing their own thing in dungeon

































I've done a few of these before but I wanted some innocent things for monsters to do without any excuse to kill them for it. Will do a wilderness version. Possibly nicer than previous versions and more kid friendly.

d100 Monsters doing their own thing in the dungeon
01 Drying underpants and socks over a fire to dry 
02 Trying to remove some blood stains
03 Grinding flour on grinding stones to make bread or seed cakes later
04 On way to empty chamber pots
05 Peeling vegetables
06 Brushing pet's hair and trimming claws
07 Collecting pets dung
08 Cracking shells off nuts and throwing waste in a fire
09 Removing graffiti offensive to the boss
10 Counting jars of copper coins
11 
Monster making a finger necklace
12 Sharpening weapons with a whetstone
13 Making a doll of someone they dislike for a curse
14 Carving an idol
15 Practicing on a femur bone flute
16 Drawing fake treasure maps
17 Writing a rude poem on the wall
18 Appreciating a naughty foreign scroll
19 Flailing and scraping a skin for leather
20 Making an erotic fertility fetish
21 Trimming each other's toenails 
22 Brushing teeth
23 Brading hair or beards
24 Giving another monster a tattoo
25 Piercing another monster's ears or nipples
26 Scrubbing clothes with lots of suds and a tub of water
27 Fixing boots with cobblers tools
28 Sewing patches on clothes
29 Oiling body all over while naked
30 Admiring self in a mirror
31 Cuddling a baby to get it to sleep
32 Telling children a story
33 Kissing passionately 
34 Making toys for their children
35 Supervising some young children playing
36 Teaching child chaos alphabet
37 Family mourning for dead loved one in best dress in front of coffin
38 Trimming an older monster ear hairs
39 Sharing meat with some young ones
40 Scolding a child who broke a weapon
41 Preparing a gift for a relative
42 Making biscuits for a holiday
43 Playing ball game in preparation for inter-tribe match
44 Making a festive hat for a holiday
45 Making a decorative wreath for a holy day
46 Preparing a corpse of a friend for burial
47 Watching a pudding boil on the fireplace for hours
48 Singing a jolly holiday song about good times and family
49 Making a diorama of an orc deity bringing gifts to children
50 Writing a letter to the family wishing them well and hoping to be home soon
51 Chatting about plans for the farm when goes home
52 Talking about their sweethearts
53 Discussing the losses of their friends in the frontier kingdoms
54 Complaining about evil wizards enslaving monsters
55 Can't wait to make grandpa a zombie to help with chores and mind the kids
56 Hoping to try out a new head-shrinking recipe this holidays
57 Chat about a family relic and how it has been handed down for generations
58 Discussing the name choices of their parents (Skull eater! I don't even like skulls) 
59 Discussing their craving for peace and returning to family life
60 Keen to get some leave home to fix grandma's roof
61 Taming some dungeon vermin with food scraps
62 Nursing a sick pet or farm animal
63 Making a game pie with various birds and vermin in layers
64 Waiting for a chicken to lay an egg with a frying pan and a fire
65 Tending baby animals
66 Milking a goat
67 Tending huge mushrooms in pots
68 Brewing beer or mead and cleaning bottles
69 Pressing oil from vegetables or olives
70 Caring for tubs of edible insects or worms
71 Scrubbing blackened pots and pans
72 Sharpening tools on a whetstone
73 Using a spinning wheel or a loom
74 Polishing semiprecious stones
75 Practicing a musical instrument
76 Whitling almost finished chess pieces
77 Polishing teaspoon collection
78 Decorating ceramic pots
79 Arranging decorative fungus
80 Preparing bandages and herbal remedies
81 Dividing a joint of meat to share with friends
82 Doing first aid or changing bandages
83 Blowing nose and miserable with a terrible contagious flu
84 Giving a child medicine
85 Pouring out drinks to celebrate some family event
86 Impersonating a dungeon boss for a laugh
87 Telling scary stories about humans living under beds and in wardrobes
88 Initiating new members into the gang with a fake zombie costume and makeup
89 Playing a new dice game for copper coins
90 Collecting money for a funeral feast for a dead gang member
91 Dressing as ghosts to scare children
92 Reading a farmers almanack        
93 Trying on dresses in a sack of loot
94 Having a cheese fondue party
95 Inventing a new cocktail
96 Performing comedy dressed as a parody of a human
97 Having a farting and belching contest
98 Preserving sauerkraut in jars to ferment
99 Playing darts with a target and betting for beer money
100 Making an adorable costume for one of their pets

Friday, 24 March 2023

Reviews Again, the never ending battle vs new stuff

 

Finally finished this

Advanced Adventures Compendium Four πŸ’“πŸ’“πŸ’“πŸ’“
Not quite as good as some previous ones but still very good. Was on LuLu and I've enjoyed reading the series. The format is good and mostly tight. I do find occasional things mentioned in text like an X and just not on the map. Was half a room description once. A good variety of levels and locations to slip into a campaign. Lots of 1980 aesthetics but more coherant less rambling and easier to run often.  

The Lost Lair of Drecallis
A mid-tier adventure exploring a nice cave complex

The Palace Beyond
A mid-tier adventure featuring a weird planar puzzle dungeon. Map I find genuinely hard to look at and is very odd. The adventure and encounters are ok with lots of puzzles and pocket dimensions. It both repels me and attracts me 

The Halls of Lidless Shabbath
A high level adventure into a huge troll and monster-filled hole with hundreds of critters to murder and checklists. Has classic dungeon monsters, weird magic traps and puzzles and a huge treasure and a lich. Looks good but a bit of a meatgrinder

The Crocodile's Tear
Low-mid level adventure where you get to visit a desert kingdom to explore with a number of small tombs to explore. Easy to relocate into a specific setting

The Desert Shrine of the Sightless Sisters
Has a few Mesopotamian setting hat tips but really features a sisterhood of guardian warrior women protecting a complex of medusa and other monsters and a cool medusa mummy

Aerie of the Cloud Giant Strategos
A sequel to G123 giants series and quite a nice huge castle plan that looks abnormally historical in design. There is a whole giant Island (fairly well doe of the several of these I've seen and run and written. Frighteningly vast amounts of treasure

Under Ruined Onm
A mid-level adventure with a ruined city and some dungeons in the ruins. Might be able to mash up with another city with some more flavour or maps. 

White Dragon Run II
low-level sequel to the previous vol adventure and repeating some content. Other than that its a good couple of extra mini-dungeons in the area. You could put them anywhere

The Dark Tower of Arcma
A higher level adventurer with woodland and an impossible tower with internal space in a pocket dimension with failed lab experiments.

The Horror of Merehurst
For beginning characters on a lake with some mini-dungeons and nice maps. The ruin maps are very nice and almost feel like Gamma World in appearance. Has some good background lore and some good exploration and mysteries to solve. 

Out of The Abyss πŸ’“πŸ’“πŸ’“πŸ’€
A D&D five under dark adventure id mostly heard bad things about and i saw for $20 on Amazon. On the surface its an escape the underdark semi-linear adventure where you get to see an increase of demons as you go. As far as the adventure and being driven by the Drow part was not so interesting to me. As a bunch of locations I can shove in an underdark game easily. You escape a slave pen with some underground weirdos. There is a nice spider webfilled cave to cross. Then a chapter on running underground travel, fungus, madness, and 20 weird terrains with own subtables to use for play again and again. There are some mini dungeons with factions already fighting in a hook horror lair and ooze temple a lost tomb. The next chapters are larger areas like a dark lake of kaotoa, a evil dwarf city and caves, a fungus forest, a dark gnome semi-occupied ruin and a stone giant colony. It has a lot of stuff but is possibly better as a sourcebook than an adventure. I really like the maps on the page corners even though I don't normally like full-colour maps. Lots of the demon stuff is in other books now but lots of statblocks for various underdark specialist peoples. Several long-winded lore dump sections were a bit long. There is a good section in a purple worm nest and a beholder lair and some modrons. The description of the drow city is ok. The climax of demons chapter is a bit of a mess and has demons not mentioned much before feature like orcus. Its a bit confusing and seems unpleasant to run. I can see why ppl dislike this book but it has good bits to steal. Im assuming its not going to be reprinted. 

A magic password is slang for a vagina which i thought odd.



Monday, 20 March 2023

Alignment





































So recently lots of talk about alignment and species.

I have no problem with giving up victorian race theory and the fantasy genre's obsession with preserving it. Also when you have more and more parties that might not even have humans or even mammals referring to all the furies in with homo sapiens like they can cross breed always creepy. We worked this out as teens in the 80s probably from reading Moorcock essays. And less was said about the Gygax game where he had white and yellow people charted up while this notion was being kicked to the curb by scholars.

So I'm quite happy to make most mortal-born creatures and beings non-aligned or neutral by inclination. I'm fine with lots of monsters being created to be evil but the process doesn't always stick and players can even reform evil or operate monster orphanages without a paladin killing their babies.

In my homebrew having an alignment is a process of choice. Your alignment has a score in which you gain a point for each oath you take to an alignment. Each oath gives you a gift that can even be used to create a personalised magic weapon, gain followers or spells and other nifty stuff. Villains and monsters are all over this stuff. It does tend to impress the state and church if your alignment fits in with current requirements.

Occasionally a player wants nothing to do with this stuff and sometimes they see everyone else powering up and some give in to "free" powers for planar soul pacts.

If you mess up on alignment oaths the dungeon boss might have to decide how great an infringement is. If they break the rule flippantly or thoughtlessly or selfishly they will probably get one of the punishment and redemption arcs. This probably handles the worse sort of oath breakers:

Revising some stuff from here
http://elfmaidsandoctopi.blogspot.com/2021/05/oathbreaking-and-attonement.html

I made this for lesser cases requiring a warning. Possibly if several conflicting oaths come up as a problem this would be a lesser crime. Perhaps you break an oath in some urgent mission against the enemy or some enemy deceived you into breaking an oath. Maybe you had a close call and need a good warning.

Minor Punishments last 24 hours for cases of near misses, warnings for dangerous conduct, problems from conflicting oaths, being tricked by an enemy or needed for a worthy mission to win. Good aligned people can consider not killing a friend an acceptable case for a minor punishment instead of a major one. Your first broken oath is likely to be minor.

Major Punishments last until the hero has had an atonement with a priest to discover what they need to do and accept the task. The punishment may start again if they stop their task. They cannot resume the task waylaid until they accept an oath spell to continue. This is for knowingly or thoughtlessly breaking your oath for no good reason or deliberately. When you are over 10th level you are more likely to be given a major punishment and the powers expect better of you. 

d12 Broken Oath Punishments 
1 Dream of the displeasure of the powers in your actions, interferes with spell recovery
2 Benefits from oaths don't work, disappear or are lost 
3 Immune to all healing including first aid, natural healing, magical healing or regeneration 
4 Half your total reaction rolls for and others sense you are a deceiver and not to be trusted
5 Any hit roll of one is a fumble d4 1=hit self 2=hit ally 3=break weapon 4=drop weapon
6 Double chance of random encounters
7 Struck Lame d4 1=half Mov 2=blind -4 all sight based rolls 3=attribute drops d4+2 points 4=Incapable of feeling love or pleasure or desire
8 Struck Mad d4 1=paranoid even of loved ones against you 2=narcascist with unbridles sense of superiority and hubris 3=greedy for wealth beyond reason 4=always angry and quick to violence at any continued displeasure or personal sleight
9 An awful creature for follows the oathbreaker and tries to cause suffering by robbing goods, disturbing rest, menacing followers and annoying pranks
10 A monster is sent to lay waste to the oathbreaker's property and menace their followers. With a major oathbreaking the creature if slain is reborn or replaced with a stronger monster
11 Transformed into an animal with fuzzy memories of being human
12 Some accident or agent badly wounds the oathbreaker leaving them with a d4 HP or if a major transgression a divine servant or even the power itself may appear to strike the person dead

Atonement Tasks
1 Pay an additional 10% tithe forevermore
2 Travel on a pilgrimage to a faraway land and protect other pilgrims
3 Establish a mission with a building and personnel d4 1=convert people in far away land 2=healing shrine to aid the sick 3=help end poverty 4=safe shrine for pilgrims to rest in
4 Carry scriptures and relics to a missionary in a far-off land
Convert your own level cubed in HD of new followers (4th =4x4x4=64 or 10x10x10=1000)
Quest to recover d4 1=relic of a saint 2=idol or altarpiece 3=person 4=holy text
7 Aid in the construction of a holy place with money or labour d4 1=shrine 1000gp or a month 2=statue 2d5=1000gp d4 months 3=temple 10000gp one year 4=monument 1000000gp d4x10 years
Search and destroy d4 1=a famous monster 2=heretical sect 3=enemy cult 4=criminals 
9 Raise an army for a crusade equal to your own level cubed in HD of new followers (4th =4x4x4=64 or 10x10x10=1000)
10 Made to serve an important priest or king or agent of the power for d4 years of humiliating and dangerous service
11 Imprisoned for d4 years of torture by enemies in a dungeon or on some other plane
12 A great disaster strikes your land and continues to cause suffering as it struggles to recover. Everyone knows whose fault it was until the hardship is over requiring money and labour for d4 years to return to normal and feel gratitude instead of hate for the oathbreaker 

I'm fine with people using luck points to get better options or oaths or less horrible punishments

Friday, 17 March 2023

We are All Going to the Moon Tomorrow Part 1




So what is the moon like in your setting? Is it literally a god in a chariot, the eye of Horus or the diadem of Sin that changes depending on his phase and underworld influence. Or is it a place you can literally visit?

Some games have done this and Glorantha for RQ has images and descriptions of the red moon but I'm not sure any product used it. You could travel to some dreamlands version of the moon or a lunar plane you can reach from the world tree. I do like the

d12 How to get to the Moon
1 Ride on a giant moth, bug, dragon, cloud or bird
2 Climb the world tree and find the right branch
3 Find a magical staircase or escalator
4 Find the means to climb moonbeams into the sky
5 Teleport spell or platform or gateway that opens on certain nights
6 Contact a divine being to carry you in their celestial ornithopter or other vehichle
7 Be turned into winged animals and fly to the moon
8 Ride a fantastic machine like a rocket, balloon or airship
9 Find a wonderous painting of the moon's surface that you can enter at certain times
10 Drink a mysterious potion and your spirit can travel to the lunar realm for an adventure
11 Eat a certain mushroom and awaken on the moon
12 Fired in a capsule from the largest cannon ever built

d12 Wonders You Might See
1 Fabulous palace of a moon god populated by non-human servants of the god
2 Sprawling ruined civilisation of doomed ancient non-humans
3 Vast crater or canyons with fungus forest and thriving ecology inside
4 Great desert with broken crystal palaces, tombs and monuments
5 Vast pyramids of some ancient moon monarch or cult
6 Great tower of an alien wizard
7 Alien temple complex of primordial gods of the outer void
8 Great canyon with cliff face ruins and statues, some still occupied
9 Collosal worms or other monsters
10 Wrecked airships or machines crashed here long ago
11 Vast symbols and markings gauged into the desert plains
12 Ancient canals are often full of sand but a few locations are still oasis

d12 Interesting Features of the Moon
1 Has inconsistent gravity fields and some spots are dangerous
2 Prone to moon quakes or moon storms 
3 Moon has surprisingly vast seas in some of the biggest craters
4 Physically travels to the underworld each dawn and returns each sunset and can be used to get around the cosmos. The moon god born of both worlds bears the balance to maintain the world order
5 Moon is a vehichle or the body of a great deity 
6 Many lunar creatures graze on the nutritious soil deposits for food which are also edible for humans. With an illusion to make palatable, you could live off these deposits. Sometimes a mentor or comet hits the moon sending some of this to earth for the needy
7 Collosal monsters and titans roam the moon and tiny humans are just like ants to ignore as they battle each other
8 Mobile cities of all kinds wander the surface of the moon gathering resources
9 A secret empire of moon creatures rules vast areas of the moon with dark magic from when the world was plunged into darkness by evil for a few centuries. The secret empire is ruled by pre-humans who worship the outer void and invented wizardry allowing you to call on god-like power without some god or patron devil. 
10 Moon life is not mortal and much native life visits several planes like a shadow, nightmare lands, underworld, hell or the elementals
11 The presence of the outer void is ever menacing and influencing all on the moon unless protected by wards or the magic of powerful star spirits. People here have dreams of encountering horrible hungering horrors from beyond. The moon shields the mortal world from wicked comets and plunging star stones or star spirits fallen from the celestial dome  
12 A merciless moon emperor or empress rules the moon kingdoms that pay the ruler tribute yearly. The ruler covets the stars and the firmament of mortals. They send spies to the mortal world and watch waiting for the right moment to strike. The agents of this wicked empire seek certain artefacts to make the empire mightier 

d12 Intelligent Life
1 Grey gnomes from under earth have colonised the moon with their elemental powered airships and automatons
2 Selenite insect folk who grow fungus and herd giant caterpillars and fly giant moths and build vast underground hives
3 Moon elves related to star spirits and aloof to the pathetic grubs crawling on the earth below
4 Hideous worm, slug, lamprey and leech folk worshipping the hideous gods of the outer void
5 Human cultists colonised by teleportation and gates. Strange-robed peoples with alien-looking monuments came here to escape persecution on earth
6 Elemental abhumans are constantly at war with other elemental folks
7 Gelatinous amorphous species dwelling in alien architecture and ruins
8 Prehuman species once owned large amounts of earth and were forgotten still have remnants here
9 Hideous mutant humans who rode giant moon moths here long ago became warped by strange auroras and the influence of alien stars
10 A wizard came here long ago and made an orc army to conquer a region. When the wizard finally died the orcs took over
11 Lunar goblins who flew on giant bats to the moon long ago and established fungus forests vaster than those of earth
12 Automatons or golems left by some long lost people in their ruined cities. They may be locked in pointless behaviour or free-willed and resentful to living beings who once enslaved them

d12 Lunar Travel Hazards
1 Dutbowl sands or ash that you can sink in or produces vast dust storms
2 Zones of uneven gravity
3 Zones of thinner air
4 Great caverns into the deep
5 Crater walls are difficult to climb with microclimates and own ecosystems inside
6 Desert of salt from former dried-up seas
7 Volcanic vents release steam, smoke and sulphurous fumes
8 Crystal pillars and structures often with strange abilities or inhabitants
9 Mutageic auroras produce strange life
10 Portal to another plane, world or mortal world, might seem to be a staircase
11 Star spirits in their celestial palace curious about strangers on the moon
12 Meteor shower, sometimes includes alien life from the void or other planes

d12 Moon Life Ecology
1 Gigantic microbes, mould and slimes
2 Huge fungi including ambulant and carnivorous types
3 Alien plants some ambulant or have strange abilities
4 Gigantic worms, slugs, snails and other boneless life
5 Artrapods including insects, arachnids, scorpions or crabs
6 Giant frogs, toads or salamanders
7 Reptilians and dinosaur-like life
8 Mammals, possibly prehistoric-like giant creatures or even bat-based ecology
9 Mechanical constructs and golems
10 Crystalline life
11 Strange hybrid life combining two types on this table with a d10
12 Elemental or other planar life hybrids with one type on this table with a d10

d100 Strange discoveries on the Moon
1 Mysterious, glowing crystal formation that hums with strange energies
2 Abandoned lunar base filled with malfunctioning robots and creepy messages left behind by its missing crew
2 Small, isolated colony of human settlers who have developed strange and disturbing customs over generations
3 Ancient, buried temple that appears to be dedicated to a forgotten moon deity
4 Twering, enigmatic obelisk that radiates an aura of otherworldly power
5 Group of lunar miners who have discovered a strange, sentient mineral with the ability to control minds
6 Alien spacecraft that appears to have crash-landed on the moon centuries ago
7 Mysterious black monolith that appears and disappears at random intervals
8 Mysterious black monolith that appears and disappears at random intervals
9 Strange, shimmering force field that separates a section of the lunar surface from the rest of the moon. Possibly a stasis bobble or artificial climate inside
10 Abandoned laboratories filled with bizarre experiments and strange, mutated creatures
11 Strange, translucent bubble that seems to contain an entire city inside it
12 Ancient, underground labyrinth that is filled with deadly traps and strange, ancient technology
13 Crystalline structures rising from a deep crater, glowing with a strange, otherworldly light
14 Ancient observatory with a massive telescope, its lenses cracked and its gears rusted
15 Temnants of a towering citadel, now reduced to a single crumbling tower
16 Labyrinthine network of tunnels and chambers, etched with hieroglyphs of an unknown language
17 Colossal statue, its features obscured by the passing aeons and the harsh lunar winds
18 Series of massive pillars, carved with intricate patterns and covered in a layer of lunar dust
19 Sprawling complex of underground chambers are filled with forgotten technology and strange creatures.
20 Vast crater, filled with a viscous, pulsating substance that seems to defy all known laws of physics.
21 Remains of a crashed spaceship, its twisted metal hull still smoking
22 Circular depression in the moon's surface, surrounded by strange, glowing runes
23 A series of pyramidal structures, each one connected by a network of tunnels
24 Ruins of an ancient city, its towering spires now reduced to rubble and dust
25  Village made entirely out of translucent crystal with glowing orbs as streetlights and floating platforms as transportation
26 Village built into a massive impact crater, with buildings made of a strange metallic material that reflects light in unusual ways
27 Village with domed structures and gardens filled with strange, luminescent flora and fauna
28 Village made of interlocking hexagonal rooms, connected by tunnels that lead deep into the moon's surface
29 Village built into the walls of a vast underground cavern, with glowing fungus providing illumination
30 Village consisting of interconnected, dome-like structures that seem to be made entirely out of a strange, pulsating membrane
31 Village surrounded by a force field that keeps out the deadly vacuum of space, with buildings made of a smooth, black substance
32 Village built atop a massive plateau, with structures carved from the rocky surface and connected by bridges and platforms
33 Village with a massive central tower that emits a constant hum, with strange symbols carved into its surface
34 Village with buildings that seem to be made entirely out of giant crystals, with patterns and designs etched into their surfaces
35 Village built into a massive crater, with buildings made of a shimmering metallic substance and a central plaza filled with strange, pulsating sculptures
36 Village consisting of interconnected, dome-like structures that are made entirely out of a shimmering, iridescent material that shifts and changes colour in the light of the moon
37 Lunar Asylum, a sprawling medical facility where the crazed and delusional were once treated. Rumours say that the patients still haunt the halls and those who venture inside risk being driven mad themselves
38 Lunar Monastery, a place of worship for a long-forgotten religion, the monks who lived here are said to have dabbled in forbidden practices. Strange symbols cover the walls, and ghostly chanting can sometimes be heard in the dead of night
39 Ghost Mansion, once the home of a wealthy eccentric, this mansion is now overrun with ghosts and poltergeists. The interior changes every time someone enters, and some say that the mansion is alive and feeds off of the living
40 Lunar Laboratory, a research facility that was abandoned after a tragic accident. Strange experiments were conducted here, and the ghosts of the scientists and subjects still roam the halls.
41 Lunar Opera House, an elegant theatre that was once the pride of the moon. Now, the ghosts of the performers who died on stage put on phantom performances every night and those who dare to attend risk being dragged into the afterlife
42 Lunar Hotel, a luxurious resort that was left to decay after a devastating accident. The ghosts of the guests and staff still wander the halls, and strange apparitions can be seen in the swimming pool
43 Haunted Mansion, a grand estate once the home of a powerful aristocrat. The mansion is now haunted by the spirits of the family and servants who died there, and the air is thick with the stench of decay
44 Lunar Prison a high-security facility that was abandoned after a massive riot. The ghosts of the inmates and guards still clash in spectral battles and those who venture inside risk being caught in the crossfire
45 The Lunar Casino, a popular gambling destination was closed down after a string of mysterious disappearances. The ghosts of the unlucky gamblers still haunt the slot machines and card tables, and some say that the casino is cursed
46 The Lunar Mall, a sprawling shopping centre that was left to decay after a devastating fire. The ghosts of the shoppers and employees still haunt the stores, and the smell of smoke and ash lingers in the air
47 Lunar Library, a massive repository of knowledge was sealed off after a mysterious incident. The ghosts of the librarians and scholars still linger among the stacks, and the books themselves seem to come alive at night
48 Science Palace, an imposing manor that was once home to a reclusive scientist. The mansion is now filled with the ghosts of the scientist's failed experiments, and those who enter risk being transformed into something monstrous themselves

49 Tower of the Moon Mage, a towering spire of white stone surrounded by a network of crystal bridges and floating platforms
50 The Spiral Keep of the Starlight Sorceress, a sprawling castle carved into the side of a lunar mountain, featuring a winding staircase that leads to the top of the peak.
51 The Celestial Observatory of the Lunar Lorekeeper, is a domed structure filled with strange telescopes and magical instruments for observing the heavens.
52 Mansion of the Lunar Lich, a grand estate built from black marble and glowing lunar crystals, surrounded by a moat of shimmering liquid silver. Undead alien humanoids toil and make war for the lich
53 Palace of the Ice Wizard, a glittering fortress made entirely of ice, with rooms carved into icy caverns and magical fountains that never freeze.
54 The Lunar Scriptorium of the Stellar Sage, is a vast repository of knowledge hidden beneath the surface of the moon, protected by ancient wards and guardians.
55 The Starry Skydome of the Serpentine Sorceress, is a dome-shaped structure that creates a simulated night sky filled with stars and constellations. The sorceress lives here with her cultists far from cities they were persecuted in, and now live lives of pleasure and drug abuse
56 Crystal Castle of the Selenite Enchantress - a castle constructed entirely from lunar crystals, with intricate crystal gardens and fountains throughout. a great insectoid queen rules here with her millions of children in deeper sublunar caverns
57 The Lunar Lodge of the Moonstone Mystic - a cosy cabin built into a lunar cliffside, with an enchanting view of the lunar surface. A zone of pleasant gardens and farmland exists in a bubble of controlled weather where students toil in fields for the master's vegetarian diet
58 Lunar Laboratory of the Arcane Alchemist, a sprawling complex filled with bubbling cauldrons, crackling tesla coils, and mysterious experiments. Moon goblin servants trade for and serve the master and sell discount potions 
59 Silver Spire of the Outre Seer, a towering spire made of polished silver and black obsidian, surrounded by a thick mist and guarded by spectral warriors. If you can get in the seer may answer one question truthfully about the nature of the beings of the outer void 
60 Crystal Cavern of the Lunar Geomancer - a network of shimmering crystal tunnels that twist and turn through the lunar crust, filled with strange crystal formations and glowing geodes. The wizard enjoys watching people navigate the maze and gifts survivors with magic crystals
61 Singing crater with strange echoes that create an otherworldly melody when sound waves bounce around its walls
62 Shimmering crater filled with a pool of liquid that shimmers in different colours, its properties are unknown and it emits strange mutagenic energy
63 Glowing crater filled with glowing mushrooms that emit a dim light, strange creatures have been seen lurking within
64 Smoking crater that constantly emits a thick smoke-like substance, the air around it is toxic and can cause hallucinations
65 The Crystal crater is filled with large crystals of various colours, some of which emit a strange hum when touched
66 Silent crater with no echo, sounds made within it disappear completely, making it difficult to navigate without a light source
67 Fossilized crater filled with ancient fossilized remains of unknown creatures, some of which seem to be completely alien in nature
68 Twisted crater with distorted walls, walking near it can cause vertigo and disorientation
69 Magnetic Crater with a strong magnetic field that disrupts machines and can cause compasses to malfunction
70 Buried Crater appears to be completely filled with dirt and rocks, but upon closer inspection, strange ruins and artefacts can be found buried within
71 Crystalline crater with a strange crystalline structure that seems to change shape and colour depending on the position of the moon and the angle of light
72 Maze crater with a complex network of twisting tunnels and caverns, navigating it without a map can be a dangerous task
73 Crashed lunar juggernaut long-abandoned lunar rover, its wheels and hull twisted in strange ways, lying among scattered debris. 
Its weapons lying broken and useless.
74 Wrecked rocket engine that was part of a larger vessel, its metal hull now twisted and torn
75 Dilapidated lunar lander of gnomish design with a cracked windshield and a bent landing strut. I
t's antennae bent and its solar panels ripped off
76 Shattered and twisted lunar module, its metal skin punctured by micrometeoroids and littered with debris. Dead aliens in sealed suits lay in the wreckage
77 Once-impressive cargo sky ship now lying broken and battered, its cargo spilling out onto the lunar surface.
78 Crashed once-important flying giant castle, giant bones and servants are scattered about. Degenerate descendants of the giants hide inside the cavernous ruin
79 Torn-apart rover: A rover that has been torn apart and scattered in different directions, 
80 Smashed gnome airship, its metal ribs exposed and shattered gondola parts are scattered. Tatters of moth silk fabric hang onto the ribs and flutter in the cosmic wind
81 Ruined mole machine once operated by gnomes, a mining vehicle, its drill bit and scoops now rusted and broken
82 Destroyed skyship with intact magical lift-helm, its equipment and cognitive mapping engines are scattered and broken
83 Crushed habitat module of some lunar visitors. Inside in cramped conditions, they take tests and send heliograph messages to some distant place
84 Glittering cavern is filled with sparkling, gem-like crystals that refract the light in dazzling patterns
85 Lava tube cavern was formed by ancient lava flows, leaving behind a winding tunnel that leads deep beneath the moon's surface
86  Ice cavern is filled with frozen pillars and icicles, and the air is chilled to freezing temperatures.
87 Mushroom cavern filled with enormous, glowing mushrooms that emit soft, eerie light. A civilisation of fungus people live here with a few other sentient humanoid allies 
88 The Glass Cavern is filled with smooth, glass-like walls that shimmer in the light, giving it a surreal appearance. After explorers visit opposite mirror people come through the glass walls and hunt their originals in 25 hours or they must return
89 Abyssal cavern is so deep that it seems to go on forever, with no visible bottom, and strange, phosphorescent creatures swim in its depths
90 Crystal cavern is filled with enormous crystal formations that grow from the floor and ceiling, casting prisms of light all around. A cult of non-humans gather here and guard the crystals against thieves. They will hunt any taken away
91 Underwater cavern is completely submerged in water, and schools of strange, bioluminescent creatures swim through its depths
92 Fossil cave filled with ancient fossils, including the remains of long-extinct creatures and even ancient pre-human artefacts.
93 Glow Worm cavern is filled with small, glowing worms that cling to the walls and ceiling, creating an otherworldly glow.
94 Lichen Cavern is filled with luminescent lichen that covers every surface, casting an eerie green light throughout. Many are edible or magic, some narcotic or poison or both. Moon creatures graze on the lichen mats some with alien shepherd protectors
95 Fungi forest cavern is a sprawling maze of twisting passages and towering, glowing mushrooms that reach towards the ceiling. Great caterpillars come to graze on house-sized mushrooms and many moon people come to hunt here
96 Fortress of Arcturus, the Burning One, a giant red star spirit who radiates intense heat and light, is feared by many for its destructive power. Minions and cults worship them and enjoy constant war
97 Citadel of Polaris, the North Star, is a steadfast and dependable star spirit who serves as a guide to lost travellers and provides a sense of direction and purpose. These shining citizens are kind and helpful and willing to fight evil
98 Castle of Betelgeuse, the Red Giant, a massive star spirit with a fiery temper, is known for their unpredictable outbursts and violent mood swings. Some fear when they die they will explode into a supernova, unleashing untold destruction upon the cosmos
99 Tower of Sirius, the Dog Star, mischievous star spirit with a playful nature and a reputation for causing chaos and upheaval wherever they go. This tower actually can move and be in more than one place and is often used and a portal between places on the moon, the mortal world or other planes
100 Megopolis of Vega, the Shining One,a  dazzling blue star spirit who emanates a serene, calming energy and is said to bring good fortune and prosperity. Worshipers come here to bask eternally in the light of Vega

A robot using my 12 years of work helped me with the d100 bit
Editing it probably as long for me as writing but was helpful

Monday, 13 March 2023

Review Time





















Advanced Adventures Compendium Three πŸ’“πŸ’“πŸ’“πŸ’“
Another in these hardback Osric compilations with lots of juicy scenarios.

The Obsidian Sands of Syncrates
Takeover and operate a giant greek statue to fight another statue. An awesome memorable adventure.

Stonepick crossing
A intro lakeside town for low level adventurers with investigations and interesting sub levels and crime. A good start town especially for thief players. Lots of NPCs to meet and interact with. 

Down The Shadow Vein
Linked to the shroom adventure in Vol1 one a huge cave crawl in style of the D series. Lots of underground civilisations to meet, fight or trade with.

The Mouth of the Shadow Vein
A sequel to the above with more locations and a vast cavern with ruins and a crashed UFO

Beneath the Heart of Empire
A sewercrawl for low level players

The Witch Mounds
A series of barrows but one teleports you into a larger dungeon complex. Some nice traps  

Bitteroot Briar
This is awesome and I cant wait to run it. Goto get some herbs and get shrunk or turned into animals. Lots of creepy weird cursed animal people to meet and deal with and magic items. Quite tricky and good weird faerie stuff 

Redtooth Ridge
Low-level wilderness with an exploration of an inaccessible outcrop in a forest with some ruins. Good wilderness crawl for low levels

The Doom of Red Rauthim
High-level raid on fire giants with interesting twists and moral dilemmas

To End the Rising
low-level party visits a village currently suffering raids vs fish folk. A bit of imaginative defence scenario and exploration with a ruined manor, swamps and caves

Creature Feature Vol1  πŸ’“πŸ’“πŸ’“πŸ’“
A digest size several inch thick B&W monster book with excellent art, a good monster format with a spread of art and statblocks followed by a spread of description, tactics, lore, ecology, adventure seeds and loot.The format and design are very good. Many of the creatures look quite alien and are extradimensional. My only gripe is even with glasses I find a tough read so maybe if i get a new pair tomorrow I might read it better. Some monsters have huge over sized final fantasy swords which usually bug me but mostly the monsters look horrible and strange and not much to do with mythology or folk lore. It is a stunning looking quality book even though monster gooks are not really my bag. It does a few things I like in my own longform statblocks.






Friday, 10 March 2023

Free Unlimited Elfmaids & Octopi Content Forever

Faust & Friends





































As a creator since gestetner machines in 1980 and using punchcards at school I've seen lots of tech come and go. Ive got into photoshop 1989 and some ppl said computer art is not art then. Some clients still expect digital art to be cheaper because its not real and doesn't have work on paper. I've seen people say the same about digital photography. My 84-year-old uncle a lifelong musician dislikes electronic music. My dad said lots of electronic music wasn't music just noise and loops. I liked collage art from the 1920s to the present -  many comments about AI art would exclude collage and pop art. The MΓΌller-Fokker Effect by John Sladek jokes about AI and computer art in 1970. Now anyone can have a million monkeys with typewriters work for you with a few keystrokes.

So skip to 2022. AI art comes in janky and mostly bad but makes rapid leaps. I used to make some images. I have multiple books I finished and can't afford art. I've had multiple artworks pre-paid for coming in late (5 years record) usually long enough for me to be over the project. I have quite a bit of stuff I've done and cant find the mood and tone I always wanted. I also regularly meet people who hate historic clip art as used in Dragon magazine and lots of indy publications. I used to research clip art for artists and have a huge library of it. I once chose furniture and ended up in Wayne manure in a Batman comic. Google made this job of mine obsolete.

I used AI on a few 3folds because I liked the janky dreamlike otherworldly failure of it. It does quite good post-apocalyptic ruins and weird creepy forests and ruins. It's not suited to all projects and in certain historical periods, it is terrible. I'd happily use an AI using only historic art and copyright-expired art. The main filters I made make most of the work based on 16th-century woodcuts. Also based on a willing paid comic artist who is named and partnered with my app. I prefer not to have art ripped from small creators' social media profiles and art-based social media. So id cranked out a book with lots of my 16th c woodcut style and it was done at record speed it was faster to make new art than look in my filing cabinets, books and even on the same computer's hard drive. I used to work in a studio with 26 filing cabinets and I shredded magazines and books all day to file in reference archives recently I saw 30 years of my work fill two dumpsters because google does it. Also my older bos in comics has retired because more of his work is being jerked around than making art and so many deals turn bad (partly in this city - less a problem elsewhere). I was quite happy with this book but hate for AI increased and people spoke of boycotting all work with it and banning creators and unfriending ppl who liked it. Meanwhile non pro or semipro gamers are used it for their games and character portraits just like they might grab any image for personal use. I also saw lots of people with poor writing skills unable to write prompts. I saw people who are serial time wasters of artists go with AI and satisfy their desire to have slave artists. I saw a stroke victim artist who lost their hands use AI to create again.

So my current two books I'm on one can't be done with AI art and other I have all assets ready to go. Plus I slowed down on AI art since.

So other night when jamming with my sample-based electronic music friend he showed my AI chat generators to help us write some songs. One in 4 verses is a terrible but useful starting point. Some ppl say I was a cheat for carrying a rhyming dictionary to help write. So later at home, I started using it a bit. One of my oldest friends and a player of 30 years and I started playing and discussing its use. Other than us using our high vocals and logic to work around the AI to think like a conservative who believes magic is real and dangerous. Prompt writing is a skill and burning credit and time to retry the same prompt again and again is some amount of effort and has some skill. Some people attribute supernatural and magic properties to human ability. After 36 years of working in arts, plenty of artists are not original and do just rearrange other elements. So many students in my art school photography thought they were original but as an image librarian, I had seen many ideas in advertising before. Some ideas are logically inevitable, especially working in a narrow IP franchise.

I can do quite a few types of art but I find it slow and painful and i mostly see everything wrong with it. Artmaking as a fun activity to do is different to working which can get like bricklaying. I've had some great artists with great turnaround. Sometimes it is a complete gamble and results can be better than you imagined or not at all. Mostly it is the commissioner's fault for poor guidelines but some artists miss points. As an artist, a client who does not know what they want will be more likely to make more and more changes and possibly never be satisfied. Even if an RPG artist doesn't quite get what I want it's always amazing and usable. Sometimes when I'm swamped and stressed Id rather not work with other people as my reliability and commitment are all a bit over the place and I figure I'm better off not dragging other people into my messes. Art is expensive and many in RPG scene are doing it for love and are often paid 10% of what some industries do. Working with others can be stressful and people who can confidently write and draw anything fill me with awe. Some projects managing lots of people and deadlines can get stressful and takes away the fun of creating.

So of course I tried to generate d100 tables based on my own 12 years of blogging. Even though GPT chat can't say who makes this blog without lying it can produce quite reasonable d100 content. It seems to stop at 40 lines and if you want more lines it often repeats so what I make needs editing but I was impressed by how nasty it got and could do ok mimesis of my blog style. Given lots of people H8 AI in all forms with a passion I'm not necessarily going to use it (but maybe I will sneak in bits out of spite).

But if you want to try https://chat.openai.com/chat and use these prompts: "in the style of elfmaids&octopi blog a d100 table line list of X" feel free to post results in the comments below.

Of course, in the future, I could be simulated from my years of social media and the 36000 images of mine on flicker so the real me is increasingly obsolete. I've had so many technical skills become obsolete and qualifications become irrelevant before.

Currently, Richard & I have been using GPT chat to write stories and characters for VIZ magazine to practice working around its pre-modernist morality. We are also writing episode guides for non-existent tv shows like an Australian version of family guy and Richard got it to write about a team of superheroes who use their prolapsed bowels to fight crime (just like dictionaries were to find rude words I guess). It sounds silly but we are practising working around built-in morality. It refused to write me a demon-summoning spell as this was dangerous. When I added for D&D it did pretty ok except said dungeons and dragons on the last line which doesn't happen in D&D often in evil rituals. Trying to write me short HP Lovecraft stories and they kept having pre-modern happy and moral endings which feels a bit 18th century and we are working around now. I was pretty impressed it wrote me a fake Babylonian epic in the style of the Enema Elish. It's been fun writing and chatting with a friend as we explore all this. He is a fantastic creative person but as a working dad, he has not been spoiled like me with opportunities to do art and bring it to finished products.

So below are some AI-generated tables. I have not really edited. Personally, I can write a new d100 table faster than I can edit one thus I'm better at rapidly spewing out content without polish than lots of people. Other graffiti artists much better than me said I was better at adlibbing and filling in space on the fly while they practised and did roughs. Quite a few amazing artists I know are too shy to draw in public and too perfectionistic to do anything with it. Then there are drawing geniuses I've met who don't have any interest in it because it's too easy who make me sad and won't even draw for me for money even though they have books of fantasy art ready to scan and lease.


in the style of elfmaids&octopi blog a d100 table line list of naughty pranks and tricks of apprentice wizards at wizard school

  1. Conjure a swarm of insects in the teacher's office.
  2. Charm the school's statue to insult passing students.
  3. Swap the ingredients in a potion recipe for something completely different.
  4. Turn all the furniture in the common room upside down.
  5. Create a false floor that drops people into a pit of feathers.
  6. Use illusion magic to make everyone think the school is haunted.
  7. Set up a fake exam that is actually impossible to pass.
  8. Turn the teacher's clothes into live animals.
  9. Use telekinesis to make things fly around the room during class.
  10. Replace the water in the school's pool with gelatin.
  11. Summon a minor demon to wreak havoc in the school.
  12. Make everyone's books upside down and backwards.
  13. Make the school's portraits come to life and insult people.
  14. Use transmutation magic to turn someone's hair into snakes.
  15. Create a spell that makes someone's clothes shrink every time they lie.
  16. Make a door that leads to a room filled with custard.
  17. Use enchantment magic to make everyone speak in a ridiculous accent.
  18. Turn the school's library into a maze that constantly shifts.
  19. Use divination magic to predict something embarrassing for a classmate.
  20. Create a potion that makes someone's skin glow in the dark.
  21. Use illusion magic to make someone think they are invisible.
  22. Create a spell that makes people forget words they need to speak.
  23. Use conjuration magic to summon a bucket of slime over someone's head.
  24. Create a potion that causes someone to hiccup uncontrollably.
  25. Turn someone's bed into a cage of snakes.
  26. Use transmutation magic to turn someone's food into something disgusting.
  27. Create a spell that makes someone's nose grow every time they tell a lie.
  28. Use enchantment magic to make people burst into song at random times.
  29. Make the school's clock run backwards.
  30. Use divination magic to read someone's embarrassing thoughts aloud.
  31. Turn someone's shoes into living creatures that bite.
  32. Use conjuration magic to summon a sudden rainstorm in a classroom.
  33. Create a potion that causes someone to see everything upside down.
  34. Use illusion magic to make someone think they have an extra limb.
  35. Create a spell that makes people sneeze every time they tell a lie.
  36. Turn the school's hallways into a giant slip-and-slide.
  37. Use transmutation magic to turn someone's drink into a potion of chaos.
  38. Create a potion that makes someone's voice come out in a different language.
  39. Use enchantment magic to make people fall asleep in class.
  40. Make the school's walls come alive and start moving.

So had to do a second batch as was limited to 40 lines so a second prompt was given for more but it repeated more

  1. Use conjuration magic to summon a swarm of mischievous imps.
  2. Create a spell that makes people hiccup every time they hear a certain word.
  3. Turn someone's quill into a giant feather duster.
  4. Use divination magic to predict someone's embarrassing future.
  5. Create a potion that makes someone's hair stand up on end.
  6. Use illusion magic to make someone think they are shrinking.
  7. Turn the school's fountain into a giant bubble bath.
  8. Create a spell that makes people burst into laughter at inappropriate times.
  9. Use transmutation magic to turn someone's clothes into clown attire.
  10. Use enchantment magic to make people unable to stop dancing.
  11. Turn someone's wand into a rubber chicken.
  12. Use conjuration magic to summon a flock of crows into a classroom.
  13. Create a potion that makes someone's nose change color every time they lie.
  14. Use divination magic to reveal someone's embarrassing past.
  15. Make the school's staircases move and shift every day.
  16. Use illusion magic to make someone's shadow come alive and act on its own.
  17. Create a spell that makes people speak in a gibberish language.
  18. Use transmutation magic to turn someone's notes into gibberish.
  19. Turn someone's pet into a giant, uncontrollable monster.
  20. Use enchantment magic to make people switch personalities for a day.
  21. Create a potion that makes someone's skin glow in different colors.
  22. Use conjuration magic to summon a swarm of butterflies into a classroom.
  23. Use divination magic to predict someone's embarrassing secret.
  24. Turn someone's desk into a pile of sand.
  25. Use illusion magic to make someone think they are trapped in a mirror.
  26. Create a spell that makes people sneeze uncontrollably.
  27. Use transmutation magic to turn someone's clothes into a suit of armor.
  28. Turn the school's garden into a jungle filled with dangerous plants.
  29. Use enchantment magic to make people constantly forget their own name.
  30. Turn someone's familiar into a statue.
  31. Use conjuration magic to summon a sudden gust of wind in a classroom.
  32. Create a potion that makes someone's eyes change color every time they tell a lie.
  33. Use divination magic to reveal someone's deepest fears.
  34. Turn someone's broomstick into a unicycle.
  35. Use illusion magic to make someone think they are covered in spiders.
  36. Create a spell that makes people speak in reverse.
  37. Use transmutation magic to turn someone's hair into a nest of snakes.
  38. Turn the school's courtyard into a swamp.
  39. Use enchantment magic to make people speak in a different accent every hour.
  40. Use conjuration magic to summon a swarm of fireflies in someone's room.
20 more
  1. Use conjuration magic to summon a swarm of fireflies in someone's room.
  2. Create a spell that makes people hiccup out a tiny, harmless frog.
  3. Use divination magic to reveal someone's embarrassing crush.
  4. Turn someone's shoes into ice skates.
  5. Use illusion magic to make someone think they have a third arm.
  6. Create a potion that makes someone's ears grow bigger every time they tell a lie.
  7. Use transmutation magic to turn someone's backpack into a live, squirming octopus.
  8. Turn the school's library into a maze with no exit.
  9. Use enchantment magic to make people unable to stop singing show tunes.
  10. Create a spell that makes people fall asleep whenever they hear a certain word.
  11. Use conjuration magic to summon a rainstorm in someone's dorm room.
  12. Use divination magic to predict someone's embarrassing wardrobe malfunction.
  13. Turn someone's wand into a banana.
  14. Use illusion magic to make someone think they are surrounded by invisible walls.
  15. Create a potion that makes someone's teeth grow bigger every time they lie.
  16. Use transmutation magic to turn someone's pen into a live, biting snake.
  17. Turn the school's hallways into a slippery ice rink.
  18. Use enchantment magic to make people unable to stop telling bad jokes.
  19. Create a spell that makes people sneeze glitter.
  20. Use divination magic to reveal someone's embarrassing diary entries.
in the style of elfmaids&octopi blog a d100 table line list of hideous and pathetic sewer mutants you might meet (i just let sit at 40)

  1. A bloated rat the size of a large dog, covered in slimy fur and dripping with sewage.
  2. A humanoid figure with no eyes, nose or mouth, just smooth, featureless skin.
  3. A tentacled creature resembling a cross between a squid and a human, with a horrible stench.
  4. A fanged, bat-like creature that screeches and flaps around in the darkness.
  5. A mutant alligator with extra limbs and an insatiable hunger for flesh.
  6. A swarm of giant, hissing cockroaches that scuttle around in the shadows.
  7. A humanoid figure with twisted, elongated limbs and a hunched, stooped posture.
  8. A giant worm-like creature that burrows through the muck and mud.
  9. A creature resembling a cross between a scorpion and a spider, with poisonous venom.
  10. A pile of writhing, amorphous flesh that seems to be alive and pulsing.
  11. A slithering, snake-like creature with multiple heads and sharp, venomous fangs.
  12. A bloated, pale humanoid with milky, blind eyes and a gaping, toothless mouth.
  13. A humanoid figure with jagged, spiky growths protruding from its body.
  14. A massive, lumpy creature with dozens of eyes and a gaping, drooling mouth.
  15. A shuffling, zombie-like creature with rotting flesh and missing limbs.
  16. A giant, wriggling maggot with sharp, pincering mandibles.
  17. A malformed, hunchbacked creature with a lolling tongue and drooping eyelids.
  18. A creature resembling a cross between a spider and a centipede, with dozens of legs.
  19. A bloated, grotesque mass of flesh with tentacles and gaping maws.
  20. A humanoid figure with twisted, gnarled bones and sharp, bony protrusions.
  21. A floating, translucent jellyfish-like creature with glowing, pulsating tentacles.
  22. A swarm of tiny, insectoid creatures that skitter around in the darkness.
  23. A creature resembling a cross between a crab and a lobster, with razor-sharp claws.
  24. A skeletal, ghostly figure with glowing eyes and a silent, eerie presence.
  25. A massive, bloated leech with dozens of writhing, sucking mouths.
  26. A shapeshifting creature that can mimic the appearance of other creatures.
  27. A slimy, wriggling mass of eels that forms a single entity.
  28. A creature resembling a cross between a snake and a dragon, with razor-sharp scales.
  29. A humanoid figure with a snakelike tail and venomous fangs.
  30. A massive, slimy slug with a gaping, sucking maw.
  31. A humanoid figure with razor-sharp claws and jagged teeth.
  32. A swarm of buzzing, stinging insects that form a cloud around their victims.
  33. A bloated, malformed fetus that still clings to life in the darkness.
  34. A humanoid figure with multiple, writhing tentacles instead of arms and legs.
  35. A giant, writhing worm that tunnels through the earth and muck.
  36. A deformed, hunchbacked creature with oversized eyes and razor-sharp teeth.
  37. A creature resembling a cross between a bat and a porcupine, with sharp quills.
  38. A shapeless, pulsing mass of flesh with writhing tendrils.
  39. A humanoid figure with a bloated, distended belly that is filled with parasites.
  40. A giant, slimy snail with a mouth full of razor
in the style of elfmaids&octopi blog a d100 table line list of deranged and strange goblins at the goblin market (capped at 34 lines?)
  1. A goblin with a third eye in the centre of its forehead, constantly twitching and blinking.
  2. A goblin with elongated fingers and razor-sharp claws, always picking at its skin.
  3. A goblin with a split tongue and an insatiable hunger for strange, exotic foods.
  4. A goblin with a vestigial tail that it uses to balance on high ledges and rooftops.
  5. A goblin with a fondness for collecting human bones and assembling them into macabre sculptures.
  6. A goblin with a sharp, beaked nose and an obsession with shiny objects.
  7. A goblin with a bulbous, pulsating head and a constant, manic grin.
  8. A goblin with oversized ears that can hear whispers from miles away.
  9. A goblin with a long, prehensile tongue that it uses to snatch up insects and small animals.
  10. A goblin with multiple eyes that glow in the dark and allow it to see in complete darkness.
  11. A goblin with a snakelike tongue that it uses to taste the air for potential prey.
  12. A goblin with an incredibly powerful sense of smell that it uses to track down its prey.
  13. A goblin with a set of large, batlike wings that allow it to soar through the air.
  14. A goblin with a spine made of a flexible, rubbery material that allows it to contort its body in unnatural ways.
  15. A goblin with a split personality, alternating between a jovial, friendly demeanour and a violent, bloodthirsty rage.
  16. A goblin with a pair of small, beady eyes that allow it to see through illusions and detect magical traps.
  17. A goblin with a hunched, stooped posture and a constant, wheezing breath.
  18. A goblin with a set of razor-sharp teeth and a taste for human flesh.
  19. A goblin with a long, forked tongue that it uses to extract secrets and information from its victims.
  20. A goblin with a set of powerful, springlike legs that allow it to leap great distances.
  21. A goblin with a set of suction cups on its fingers and toes, allows it to climb up walls and ceilings.
  22. A goblin with a soft, malleable body that can change shape at will.
  23. A goblin with a chameleon-like ability to blend into its surroundings and become invisible.
  24. A goblin with a pair of small, beady eyes that can shoot powerful beams of energy.
  25. A goblin with a long, serpentine body that coils around its prey and constricts.
  26. A goblin with a set of strange, glowing runes etched into its skin, granting it powerful magical abilities.
  27. A goblin with a fondness for poisons and toxins, constantly concocting new deadly concoctions.
  28. A goblin with a set of retractable claws that it uses to catch its prey.
  29. A goblin with a set of tentacles that it uses to ensnare and strangle its victims.
  30. A goblin with a set of powerful, suction-cupped feet that allow it to scale sheer surfaces.
  31. A goblin with a set of long, prehensile fingers that it uses to manipulate small objects and pick locks.
  32. A goblin with a set of sharp, serrated teeth that it uses to tear apart its prey.
  33. A goblin with a set of glowing, luminescent eyes that allow it to see in complete darkness.
  34. A goblin with a set of powerful, telekinetic abilities that it (stopped here)

I'll spare you the wonders of my TV episode guide for Disfunction Down Under and Richards the Prolapse Chaps. So go have fun with this, sharpen your logic and vocab and prompting skills and make character portraits or backstories or for DM lore Dumps. I totally get why people feel threatened by this and part of me does feel redundant but its just not the first time technology has pulled the rug out from under me leaving me with useless skills and equipment and unemployed.

If you do prompt in my style id love to see wh

at happens and please post in the comments. Will do a thread on my Patreon and FB also. As I'm applying for a disability pension I'm halting all my paid art and writing work for a bit as it's too complex to deal with for the short-term future with the government who have me doing 3 days a week paper chasing and proving medical problems I have.

I'm off now to band practice with my Korg chaos pad and a turntable plus learning 5 other samplers and synthesizers for some gigs. Alas, I can't put any of this online currently but can do it live for sample reasons.

Thanks to all my readers for the trip so far. 
Apologies if this is my shark jump moment for some and the long-windedness of this.

Saturday, 4 March 2023

Campaign Shenanigans































So for my Exilon campaign characters decided to visit the thrones of the reptilians and the elves so the Tyranean nation could aid the land of Exilon in a coming war with the south. They first teleported to the Tyranian palace and were taken to their new ambassador's courtyard and room. Food and wine were sent and entertainment was offered. The Amazonian wizard and her paladin wife went to be early. The draconic shapeshifter monk tried to charm some dancers and fort one in his room. The barbarian warrior drank heavily and passed out. So as the draconic shapeshifter in human guise was in the throws of passion saw the dancer quickdraw a poison dagger. He managed to cast certification on her and get out from under her stone body. Ran out and called for help, the amazons came out to see the fuss, and two girls came from the warrior's room having stabbed him. They were all 13th Lv thieves and had lethal poison. Wizard and Draconic hero cast spells to trap the two women but they nimbly tumbled away and out the window. Guards arrived and palace officials apologised.

Turns out the women were spies from the Arcane Empire of the south and ordered to kill the party. They managed to charm the assassin and unpetrify her and obtained the info they needed.

Now I have a good player's map of regions and armies they have begun marking teleporter points and planning more ahead. Apparently, dungeon time was cutting into urgent diplomacy. I'm using my own setting but using CM1 Test of Warlords and 
X10 Red Arrow Black Sheild for ideas on running an international campaign of diplomacy and warfare. Party met various warlords on the lizard borderlands who were hostile to peace but the party told of a mountain pass too cold for lizards and shunned by humans as a way to avoid the frontlines of the warring kingdoms. Met the king finally and he had heard what a mighty drinker the barbarian was. They had a drinking battle and our barbarian hero was wary that he was not the drinker people said he was but managed to win. The next day the king gave permission to try and make peace with the reptilians.

Party spent 4 days travelling to the mountain pass and the rustic log palace of the more rustic Tyraneans who lack the new king's benefits of civilising projects. Finally, they went into the mountains where the air thinned and the peaks were drowned in white. Locals and royal explorers say the pass was a place of doom. On arrival, they discovered a frost giant wall of ice with towers and a gatehouse. 

The dragon changeling summoned a fire elemental and melted a new hole next to the thicker for and howls of wolves began. And so began a long and horrible battle with 6 frost giants and their winter wolves. Early on the draconic changeling had cast heat metal on some giants and a few kept busy trying to strip. Others jumped from the towers after throwing rocks and winter wolves' ice breath surprised the party and had them on the ropes. The wizard used fireballs and magic missiles and with the barbarians cleric follower had to back off from the fight. Finally, the changeling threw up a wall of fire trapping many giants and causing havoc. One giant threw wolves over the wall before succumbing to the heat and others went in to attack from the tower and wall. The heroes won and found a few interesting items. Saw a path going higher up the mountain. 

Went to the lowlands on the mission with a banner of the kingdom of Ikathon one of the cities of Exilon. This worked well as reptilians recognised the fish banner from trading with Ikathon when it was ruled by fish over a thousand years ago. Sent a familiar to drop a gem belonging to the wizard on the lizard city palace. He then scryed for the gem and teleported the party there. Party also used the flight and the eyes of the eagle to spy on the city and its vast fields and domestic dinosaurs. They ended up teleporting to the city square and the eloquent dragon man announced the party mission of trade and peace. Were taken to the old fish folk embassy which they explored and found some spellbooks and art. Wizard teleported back to the palace of the King of Ikathon and returned with some staff for the embassy. The Amazon wizard nagged the party to clean up the dusty embassy and the dragon hero summoned an air elemental to dust. Were taken to the huge king and presented and given their gifts of cups of gems. The king did not really look at them and waved them away but apparently, this was good. Next day the king's servants agreed to a truce of several years and they wanted figs and dates from humans. Hundreds of camel loads. The king did want them to go to the mountain pass and wipe out the giant kingdom.

Oddly the reptilian city used no fire and many dinosaurs used it daily. The reptilians used magic light and bioluminescent algae. The party shopped in the serpent folk wizard district and got to buy some petty items but did find an affordable wand, gem of brilliance and rod of negation.

Prepared they teleported back to the melted giant wall and headed up the path to the Frost-Jarl's glacial fortress (G2). Had a good search and managed to kill lots of giants and ogres and get lots of looks. Fun rolling the "what's in a giant sack table". Rescued a goblin from elfland who they sent home with some giant tallow candles to eat on the way. Found a bunch of corpsicle adventurers from Tyraneans, dwarves and elves who had more magic goodies including a ring of fire resistance, a ring of spell turning, a wand and scrolls and a sword that wanted to kill the changeling. Teleported back to their home base to recover and rest and carry back the sacks of giant weapons and gold to level up.

Had some very odd things happen this session and trying a Saturday that was a decent amount of time for a 7-hour game.