Friday 8 March 2019

d100 Monster Butts and butt stuff

Dallas started this on FB
now it's a thing

When you have a dungeon lacking butts
It's double butt good

New Spells

By the Halfling Wizard Benzzo Underhill

d100  Monster Butts and butt stuff
01 Rust monster's butt poking out of iron ore vein
02 Carrion crawler's butt poking out of purple worm carcass
03 Gnome's butt sticking out of shroom grotto
04 Giant wasp butt sticking out of nest chamber
05 Zombie butt sticking out of rockfall
06 Troll butt sticking out of waterfall, goblins spank it when passing
07 Thief butt sticking out of stocks
08 Witch butt sticking out of dunking machine
09 Paladin hazing ritual gone wrong
10 Wizard strapped in autoflagelation machine whipping his butt
11 Priest's butt sticking out of portal to Saturn 
12 Scorpion stuck in drain with flailing tail stuck
13 Giant fly stuck in rib cage of a target
14 Goat butt, head stuck in milking stock bleating for help 
15 Great lizard tail stuck in earth
16 Giant toad butt as burrows into wall
17 Giant skunk butt head stuck in trap
18 Chimera with snake headed tail buttflailing about while head stuck in a doorway
19 Big butt goblin with head stuck in rat hole cos mouth is full of rats
20 Sabretooth tiger with head stock in huge log, will befriend any who rescues her
21 Dungeon baboons flaunt their buttocks and hurl feces at intruders
22 Dungeon bats on ceiling empty their bowels and fly around madly screeching for d4 rounds
23 Goblins bare their buttocks and abuse adventurers in hopes of being bait for ambush
24 Huge stone buttocks in rubble pile once a huge statue
25 Intelligent giant frogs playing leapfrog, singing and flicking each others butts with towels
26 Butt blasting mutant wizards with stinking clouds
27 Painted statue of the mandril god flaunting his mighty red, blue and purple buttocks
28 Goblin artist drawing on wall using babies filthy nappy with the baby still on it crying
29 Giant mushroom butts that shoot spores if touched
30 Mutant butt cave clams are snapping fiends these ones fart stinking clouds too
31 berserk orcs clad in black leather with  Bare butt, carrying flails want to shout abuse before fighting 
32 Friendly Blinkdogs want to sniff your butts
33 Rare ancient elder race with head of a squid that eat butts called buttflayers
34 Neo otygs dancing in septic tank in love
35 Immortal giant butt trapped under huge rock fall from when giants and gods battled
36 Hideous butt demon in chains begs for freedom
37 Hideous big butt witch who flies on a methane rocket from her butt
38 Dwarves in construction uniforms working on a wall comment on parties big stupid butts
39 Hell hound with infernal parasitic worms dragging butt on ground
40 Hyena pulling matted hair out of it's butt
41 Butt gremlins lair in toilets and sneak on board human bodies so they have a home base for mischief
42 A huge pile of monster poop mixed with lots of coins in it
43 Orcs looking at series of butt prints on wall in paint
44 Ghost with big butt likes to annoy people and intangible, mostly he is annoying and farts lots and ruins all ambushes in area
45 Giant dung beetles rolling human size balls of poop around
46 Depressed ogre with diarrhea wants to be left alone please
47 Two butt wizards dual with shape shifting buttock cheeks that can become any animal butts
48 Immortals in a tree are trapped by their cursed big butts, require curse lifted
49 A witch has cursed a village with diarrhea and they need someone to kill the witch
50 The Big Butt tribe of goblins  like to shake them when performing their war dance at enemies
51 Poop shooter tribe of goblins sling feces at enemies they diet specifically for

52 The Wizard Bootay Shakar wants someone to test his butt centric magic spells on
53 Statue of the lesser known demon lord Baezelbutt
54 Cursed candy delicious induces horrible diarrhea for a d6 days if you eat a serving or one day if tried just one
55 Statue of demon who's butt is kissed in forbidden rituals
56 Invisible imp likes to drop turds on people and taunt them with laughter
57 Doppelgangers mimic party with big buts and ugly faces to taunt them into trap
58 Wizard and his pet mimic in giant butt form having conversation
59 Giant beetle stuck in hole while goblins attack exposed butt
60 Butt blasting bonnocon beast
61 Spell Scroll Lv 3 Bee Butt have a dangerous poison d6 stinger on butt good for one sting as a unarmed attack
62 Spell Scroll Lv 3 Spider Butt, with spinnerets on your but can spin 10 foot of rope per level per round, one round per level. Can lower self or build a hard to see web
 Spell book with 1st Lv Fish Butt spell gives tail of a sea creature doubles swim speed
64 Spell tablets 2nd lv spell Monkey Butt gives prehensile tail a yard long stretchable per level
65 Spell Manual Lv 2 Dragon Butt extra d8 unarmed attack from dragon tail
66 Spell Inscribed on human skin Lv4 Scorpion Butt gains a d8 poison stinger round per level
67 Scroll with 2nd Lv spell Bombardier Beetle Butt Blast, 2d6 damage in 3 area cone from rear, save or deafened for d6 rounds per pevel
68 Book with Manticore Butt 4th lv spell grow tail with a d3 missiles per level, each does 2d8 and can shoot a d6 per round till depleted or turn finishes
69 Version of stinking cloud spell created by horrible fart in book
70 Book of disgusting cantrips like fart, belch and pong
 A dragon with a big butt
72 Young wizards admiring giant butt slug eating a huge mushroom
73 Human centipede with 50 butts
74 Butt mage seeking spells about butts they heard are near, embarrassingly persistent and says butt as  much as possible 
75 Goblins with ceremonial butt hats having a drunken party
76 Gargoyle with big butt
77 Owlbear with spear in butt looking sorry, easy to anger unless spear removed
78 Werewolf with a big butt
79 Giant carnivorous gorilla with big butt
80 New queen ant with clutch of eggs and her huge butt laying eggs
81 Book of pictures of hells evil toilets
82 Book of secret names to summon Baezelbutt
83 Book of forbidden incubus and succubi butts
84 Book about monster butts in incredible detail
85 Book of butt menacing traps
86 Pile of giant baby diapers with giant flies tending maggots
87 Giant crickets rubbing their butts to chirp while eating screaming giant mushrooms
88 Fish people with big butts looking for place to spawn
89 Gigantic turds from some fabulous creature
90 Troglodytes doing ritual butt dance for fertility
91 Magical trousers of everwear, never come off but you never need to go to the bathroom and always look snazzy
92 Throne of King Eric the Flatulent, a magical portable toilet for 4 servants to carry, always clean, produces water for cleaning, always smells lemon fresh

93 Belt of the Butt wearer gains 2d6 HP and enormous buttocks when wearing it
94 Nappy of Hygiene never requires changing or cleaning, still worn by rich nobles
95 Ring of bouncing buttocks,by bouncing on magical inflated bouncy buttocks, wearer moves double speed and can leap 3 spaces, takes one round to inflate or deflate before use

96 Cursed trousers of King Damien, fancy pants add +2 to Charisma but all arrows are +4 to hit and always hit in the butt
97 Living statues with big butts guarding a crown who wears it gains +2CON and a big butt
98 Chastity Belt of Purity, while locked in place with a secret word user needs no not go to toilet, has protection from evil spell in place and glows, cannot be opened without word, often found on corpse
99 Royal Pot of Queen Gwendoline, chamber pot of gold in a gold box, any waste deposited in it ends up in another plane after one turn Only weights 20 lb
0 Mirrors under full moon a gate to world of the butt folk

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