Tuesday, 20 February 2018

Dirty Deals in the Citadels of Psychon

In the citadel under slums and ghettos, all kinds of deals and goods are sold. Some might even be good.

Dirty Deals in the Citadels of Psychon
01 A man selling home made shanks and powder he sez is drugs
02 Creepy cultist selling ugly idols, shrunken heads and human teeth
03 Wizard selling unfathomable alien sex toys
04 Goblin with wasp nest offering to double your penis size for one copper
05 Man selling talking animal, it is shy at moment and stubborn but if you take it home will talk
06 Offered chance to fight for money in a private combat pit club
07 Private troops insist you come to fight in a great gladiator arena
08 Goblin offers to remove parasites for 1cp
09 Priest offers healing for anyone who accepts his harsh god of low and take a oath
10 Pilgrim offers to feed any who joins his alien love god cult
11 Wizard offers to sell his worse apprentice for 50gp
12 Old woman possibly a witch offers to tell your fortune
13 Cyborg goat men gangsters offering cheap cyborg gun arms, use your old hands in demonic rite
14 Map seller has plans for several bunkers and ruins for sale
15 Man selling access codes for a hidden door of secret sub level of citadel
16 Old man selling map to a crashed spacecraft
17 Robot drug dealer offers free samples for first hit, AI runs a robot's drug lab
18 Old man offers keys to house if you can find his daughter a slum gang took
19 Beastman selling human skin suits 5gp each
20 Old goblin will teach you secrets of buttchugging potions to make them last longer 
21 Old wizard selling youth potions he extracts from teenagers leaving them old cripples
22 Boy offering to show you a otherworldly gate he found in sewers for 1gp
23 Woman selling adorable fuzzy beastmen babies
24 Cannibal selling human limbs raw, roast or smoked
25 Old man selling junk including a 24" cube damaged AI module with no voicebox
26 Old cyborg offers to sell body parts for beer money
27 Strange mutant selling huge eggs he found 1gp each
28 Goblin nurse selling babies or goblin milk
29 Boy selling glowing green metal rods he found in ruin, needs money for medicine as he feels ill
30 Old woman selling yellow canisters with warning symbols of the ancients
31 Woman singing living crystals that sing sad songs in alien voices
32 Wizard selling a werewolf potion in a syringe, just shoot it up and feel the power 
33 Old hunchback selling a magic intelligent sword, he sez the sword is a bit of a jerk
34 Mushroom men selling magical shrooms, have a filthy flophouse to try them in
35 Time traveller selling identical item that party member has 
36 Super soldier serum for sale being sold by slimey mutant in lab coat
37 Junk merchant selling orbital com unit, just set up dish and talk to the gods
38 Mutant seling angry trolls squeezed in steel cube cages grown from flesh scraps
39 Young wizard offering night of pleasure with succubus or incubus
40 Necromancer offering wide range of zombie prostitutes
41 Damaged venus probe bot for sale, once activated runs amok on killing spree
42 Golem for sale, just needs fuel and furnace lit to reanimate, no known way to control it
43 Mutant selling canisters of psychotronic warfare nanite agent causes mass hallucinations
44 Apprentice selling imps in bottles, "great for the kiddies"
45 Scruffy pervert selling eldren maiden in block of amber
46 Kid selling mutagenic warhead from his pushcart
47 Man selling dried and living fairies which he crushes and snorts the dust
48 Dealer selling variety of slave kobolds with various special skills
49 Morlock selling eldren pickled meat
50 Frogman selling deactivated "sex androids" 1in6 are assasin models
51 Man selling comgem implants from dead priests, claims anyone can have cleric powers

52 Servant of wizard selling notes on surgical creation of one type of abhuman
53 Alchemist selling demon and vampire ichor no questions asked
54 Alchemist student selling magical potion to enchant your genitals, you'll never regret it
55 Kid selling canister of military necrovirus starts a zombie plague
56 Man selling alien symbiotes that replace your puny human organs
57 Goblin shaman selling potions to turn goblins into hobgoblins
58 Morlock selling a purple worm egg or carrion crawler grubs
59 Wizard offers formula to turn babies into mighty ogres which fight much better
60 Witch selling a blink dog pup, not house broken or able to be caged
61 Witch selling displacer beast kitten, it loves to ruin furniture and climb curtains
62 Crystal abhuman selling potions that turn drinker into a stone statue
63 Sorcerer selling addictive drug that gives arcane casters extra 1st level spell once
64 Rag and bone man has book of long lost holy scriptures in his pushcart
65 Turban wearing creepy man selling delicious spicy beatles
66 Eldren selling wine with euphoric properties
67 Man selling cracked satellite with strange glow, causes retro evolution
68 Wizard selling freshly created orcs, not house broken yet or tame but like to fight
69 Fishman selling strange gold idols, insists they are not cursed by dreams of fish god
70 Old woman selling blueprints of a nuclear weapon silo found in the wastelands
71 Dogman selling used bones, barley chewed and still good

72 Fisherman selling baroque diving suit with sea creature motifs he found in a chest
73 Fisherman selling interesting spiked metal spheres he found (sea mines)
74 Fisherman selling poisonous blue ring octopus excellent for killing enemies
75 Man selling navigator beacon globe from a crashed aircraft he found
76 Woman selling live robot heads, most of them beg to be saved from her awfulness
77 Man selling flesh sphere he says will grow into a living house if planted
78 Eldren selling magic tree seeds will grow rapidly into treehouse with food inside
79 Man selling security ID card from a orbital of the space gods
80 Old woman selling wizard hats all styles and colours to make you look powerful
81 Devil selling primer spellbook with one spell and ritual to sell soul to get more
82 Man selling idols and holy symbols of many gods, you can never be too sure
83 Witch offers cheap potion of youth, turns drinker into a child d6+3 years old
84 Witch selling magic addictive candy and gives free samples to children
85 Man selling dentures made from real teeth and will buy old teeth
86 Old mutant selling cryopod with genetically engineered war criminal
87 Druid selling seeds if planted in corpses grows into plant zombies
88 Druid selling potted baby giant carnivorous plants
89 Man selling cracked AI module that threatens everybody and hates humans
90 Man selling "dragon teeth" swears will grow into obedient fighting men if planted
91 Orc selling delicious fat halflings, plump and juicy with sweet cries of despair
92 Necromancer selling immortality potions, on death drinker turns into a zombie
93 Cultist selling discount idols and spell books stolen from his cult

94 Old homeless man selling scroll to call down a demonic prince
95 Apprentice selling demon medallion and true name and summoning ritual
96 Goblin selling piss in bottles claims is healing potions
97 Morlock selling enchanted wrench +1 as a d6 club and some cursed items
98 Necromancer selling talking skull of his former master (try stopping it)
99 Witch selling various monster testicles good for eating and potency and soup
100 Goblins selling magical frogs with strange powers


  1. I have had the issuse of the planet of the apes magazine the image you have at the top of the post for about 40 years now.

    1. i had a few as a kid gave me nightmares in 70s, specialy mutants and the gorilla general. I like name of the letters page . heard it through the Ape vine. PPL dont get this was the star wars for a few generations


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