Monday, 28 October 2013

Tonights theatres of Exile Island Guide

The media on the island is represented by the arts and crafts and music and written word. Artists often employ in name of lords, church or cities and increasingly saying what they think on other issues. Shadel Port celebrates free speech more than any land and is crawling with anarchists, pirates, freemen, escaped slaves, ex convicts and worst of all yeomen.

Yeomen own their land, produce the bulk and best of the cities food and the Barron protects them with death sentence to any who harm or rob or wrong them. They also ignore the church mostly following nature, farming and war. They specialise in longbow and greatsword and are mostly fighters. They are private and keep their own council.

Bards are common and different schools employ various agencies on the island. Some bards follow the highland tribe way, skalds from the vikings are common, elf friends (good and evil elves), empire, shadelport and many minor schools. Acting as spies, informants, messengers and entertainers they are the fastest means of information flow without magic. Everyone knows what bards are up to but everybody wants them in their towns and courts.

Shadel Port secret police have links to many holy oracles, druid prophets and diviners from the wizard university to survey with magic. The emperor has this too but is thousands of miles away. Of course they teleport secret police and heroes when needed. The emperor has reinstituted gladiatorial games and Shadelport has the Dungeon of Death for similar reasons. The Dungeon and Colosseum shows are broadcast to elites by illusion and "official" scrying devices. The poor see street theatre and puppet reenactments.

Other artists offer more illustrative information and tend to be more interested in glorification of the mighty and rich and holy.The decorative arts reach commoners the most and include painters sculptors, architect, decorative craftsmen. decorators, graffiti artists. Players and dancers are tailored to all tastes and are censored the most. Secret and private and criminal shows are common. Comedy especially puppet shows are for the commoners but may be subject to death if rulers are offended. Writers deal with the elite and often have small edition to select clients who may be tolerant or depraved in tastes. Most commoners are illiterate, rich are very literate with the merchant classes in between falling in between. Pamphlets often with illustrations are being printed and having an impact as the illiterate can understand them and are even taking an interest in reading.

d100 What kind of show in the street or village pub or green
1 Street gambling, cup and ball
2 Street gambling, cock fighting
3 Street gambling, cat and/or dog fighting
4 Street gambling, card tricks
5 Street gambling, games of chance
6 Busking musicians playing sea shanties
7 Busking musicians playing imperial favourites
8 Busking musicians playing highland odes
9 Busking musicians playing demihuman classics
10 Busking musicians playing backwoods hillbilly music
11 Busking musicians playing yeoman work songs
12 Busking musicians playing outre music of primordial races
13 Busking musicians playing the new sound only aged under 30 likes
14 Busking musicians playing love songs
15 Busking musicians playing sport and team songs
16 Busking musicians playing gang dance music
17 Busking musicians playing slave songs
18 Crazy old person on a box complains about working life
19 Crazy old person on a box complains about other races
20 Crazy old person on a box complains about Empire or Shadel port
21 Crazy old person on a box complains about rulers
22 Crazy old person on a box complains about women's rights and dignity
23 Naked man holding end of world is nigh sign
24 Slave speaking about freedom and equality for all
25 Wizard speaking about material nature of reality
26 Sorcerer invites followers to learn amazing powers for serving him
27 Scary old witch telling ghost stories
29 Hoary druid warns respect nature or be destroyed
30 Racy young druid preaches be fruitful and have lots of great sex with strangers
31 Monk preaching alignment philosophy
32 Bard lampooning someone in power
33 Bard telling of news from other places
34 Bard singing love songs and seducing strangers
35 Bard sings of low low prices at some emporium

36 Bard gives public announcements and messages
37 Bard reviews local eateries and drinking places
38 Bard singing bawdy rude songs about vice
39 Bard sings of dungeons and adventurers

40 Holy person telling stories of creation
41 Holy person scaring everyone with gloom, doom and sin
42 Holy person explaining alignment system
43 Holy person warning of sin and vice
44 Holy person warning of the next world
45 Holy person warning of worlds end

46 Poet reviews latest books
47 Poet tells of doomed love life
48 Poet tells of soaring natural wonder
49 Poet tells of depression and failure
50 Poet recites lineage of self or rulers
51 Child tells adorable animal stories
52 Old Sid talks of gangland turf wars of three generations back
53 Billy talks about the biggest fish stories
54 Mad Mary tells pirate treasure stories for beer
55 Nanny Bogwarts cursed tales of doomed heroes
56 Puppet show of dungeon heroes
57 Shadow puppet play about adventurers dark delves
58 Puppet show about funny incompetent adventurers
59 Puppet show about monsters killing bad people
60 Puppet show about domestic violence where abuser horribly punished
61 Sport stories with old uncle bill
62 Midwife adventure stories with crazy meg from mutant district
63 Student preaching mutant rights
64 Student preaching end to enforced celibacy for university students
65 Student preaching end of book tax
66 Student preaching about lack of gremlin and rat free cheap housing
67 Student preaching about death sentence for agitator
68 Artist complaining about poor commission process
69 Artist complaining about lack of creative freedom and censorship
70 Man preaching this is greatest place in the world how lucky we all are
71 Man warning cats are agents of hell and must be destroyed or eaten
72 Man preaching rats are our friends
73 Beggar complains about beggars guild, getting boos from other beggars

74 Doctor trying to teach hygiene
75 Warrior seeks companions to rescue friends
76 Warrior seeks companions to destroy a gang
77 Warrior seeks companions to explore ruins
78 Warrior seeks companions to rescue maiden
79 Warrior seeks companions to destroy evil wizard
78 Warrior seeks companions to kill cultists
80 Warrior seeks companions to enter a dungeon
81 Trained rats perform wonders
82 See my imp tent only 1cp a look
83 Peep at my erotic imp show only 5sp a look
84 Freak in a tent with bard barking about horror inside
85 Dancing troop with swords or snakes
86 Erotic dancer or dancers
87 Cross dressing clown
88 Boxers or sword fighters for cash, men and women matches
89 Apprentices doing tricks for cash
90 Exotic street stall cook
91 Orc will kill a kobold with a mallet in front of you for 1gp
92 Fire breather
93 Dwarf jester
94 Juggler
95 Escape artist with manacles and cage
96 Ribald stories from gigolos and prostitutes
97 Prison love stories from Stumpy McShank
98 Public flogging or fresh victims for stocks
99 Drinking and flogging songs from round the world with Mistress Candy
100 Preview or cheap parody of theatre show for commoners

d100 What show on in the theatre
Twilight of the Swan-Maidens, Ms Prissy's dancers dressed as swans 6 hours
2 Dungeon scout guilds review show with skits, songs and cross dressing capers
3 War what is it good for? great literary epic brought to stage in only 8 hours
4 Ms Molly's old time Empire singalong
5 Donavan carnival of freaks review
6 Colonel Custards magic circus
7 New light opera for common folk by Handleshmidt and Steko: Die Monster Die!
8 Deadly Danger Dancers from around the world review featuring Miss Kraven
9 Amazing Monks of Cymbal Mountain perform martial feats
10 There's a Vampire in my catacomb, the new stage comedy hit running for 5 years
11 Zarby and Gaggy, the hit comedy team of opposing alignment
12 So you Married an Orc, the latest intersperses marriage comedy
13 Ogle and Eat Out, erotic dinner theater night with the Scumtown Harlots
14 Ladies only night with the Wild Stallions
15 Gladiator dinner theatre night, watch men die while you dine!
16 Scarlet Houri Dance Show, body painted dancers live sexual performance
17 Carry on Empire! Saucy stage play of double entendre and hiding naked in cupboards
18 Hero of the Empire! 12 hour opera about triumph of first god emperor
19 So I married a Valkyrie, yet another inovative commedey in this posibly overdone genre
20 Prince of the Empire, boring opera about founding of the second empire
21 What a funny old bugbear! comedey review of trained goblioids who dont get the jokes
22 Werecats the burlesque review featuring Miss Panthera
23 Rats! the other musical production commissioned by beggars guild and less sexy
24 Were-penguins on ice spectacular, great show for whole family but dress warm
25 I'm A Pirate! the musical comedy satirizing empires impotency vs Shadel Port
26 Grandma Goose and all duck review, hilarious trained ducks march in unison in suits
27 A sailors Life!, the less political knock off of another popular maritime musical comedy
28 Just a Henchman!, all singing all dancing henchmen review show with meal included
29 In the Dragons Belly, Ballet about life inside a great sea dragon behemoth
30 Truncheon Capers, a comedy about mobsters and baliffs of shadelport
31 Dungeon! the opera opening night with elite only and tickets a fortune
32 Bright Elven Choir, singing holy music of the sylvan court
33 Dark Elven Choir, singing insane synchronized screaming
34 Aeeei You've married a dragon third year of this comedy show, a triumph of the genre
35 A Wizards Wand Is Ever Ready! Ribald comedy of wizards sexual misadventures
36 Too Many Gods! A sacrilegious parody all churches tried to ban
37 To Slay A Dragon, a melodramatic opera where a mighty hero slays dragon only 4 hours
38 War With The Giants, a new tragic comic classic concerning recent giant killers
39 Temple of the Star Men, a play about angel abductions from a true believers experiences
40 Dance of the Faerie Court, elven ballet only six hours long version for humans
41 Orc Smash!, to prove they can haz kultur, orcs put on dreadful show orcs love
42 Honey Our Kids are Kobolds, comedy for family about cursed slum clan
43 Harlots of The Dark Wood, dark elven prostitute review show, risk your eternal soul!
44 Gumbo the Purple Dragon, comedy for kids where child heroes slay stupid evil dragon
45 Liberation of Shadel Port, how a human barbarian freed humanity from primordials
46 The Necromancer King, history drama of ruler for a thousand years after primordials
47 A vampire took my Baby, comedy drama of unwed mother versus undead
48 The Blood Book Epic, melodrama opera of evil vampire kings quest for living victims left
49 Torturers Guild Theatre Restaurant, new show every night
50 Alignment Debates Live!, exponents of outer planar philosophy fight live with words
51 Stinkbeard's Treasure, true story of hopelessly unlucky treasure hunters
52 Hells Harmony, one act per layer of hell, claimed to be most hellish 9 hour opera ever
53 Fullmoon Follies a troupe of lycanthrope performers who never perform under a full moon
54 Wizards of Wickedness, fanciful drama of apprentices fighting over editions of spellbooks
55 Colosseum of Chaos, reenactments of great gladiator battles with gallons of fake blood
56 Kalrek of Matzigbion, opera of dawn age vampire wizard king who released demon gods
57 Swords against the Pit!, comedy adventures of thieves robbing a dungeon
58 Dungeon of the Doomed, comedy with human midgets playing dwarfs
59 Into The Underworld, Oprah of hero seeking beloved in underworld only 4 hours
60 Magic Lantern Show with painted glass slides projected in dark theatre
61 Zontag the Illusionist, show of incredible illusions and story telling
62 Live Animal Fights Night!, bears, lions, horses with betting facilities
63 Kobold Choir, wizard Upton with mallets plays his kobold singers for entertainment
64 We are the Goblins! Actors playing parts of goblins in face paint and prosthesis
65 Live criminal executions, daily show, bookings essential
66 Criminal Vivisectionists dissect executed criminals for informative education viewing
67 Madhouse and Mutants!, a show of freaks and crazies from the asylum for your pleasure
68 Fall of the Mad Emperor, a popular opera highly offencive to Empire, only 12 hours
69 Swamp Hags Revenge, Drama, A prince lies to a hag to save his life, his kingdom burns
70 The Necromancers Wedding, light hearted opera even commoners enjoys only 3 hours
71 A Zombie Chorus Line, put on by necromancer students as part of exam from university
72 The Secret Policeman's Ball, imprisoned comedians and bards allowed out for show
73 Haunting of Crimson Castle, a stage drama by promising young playwright
74 To catch a Witch, Dramatic play about finding and burning village witches
75 In the Court of the Octopus Queen, musical folly with amazing costumes and stagecraft
76 Castle Gaxyg, riotous comedy of life in a dungeon full of costumed characters
77 Trip To The Moon is a fanciful alchemist tale where men are shot to the moon in cannons

78 Dr Z's Erotic Castle of Carnal Knowledge, a live sex theatre show with real succubi
79 Mrs Mog's Mad Murder Spree, a melodrama play detailing a cannibal family
80 Death of a Bard Who Tried Too Hard, musical rumoured commission of secret police
81 Brazen Strumpet of Cutthroat lane, musical life of harlots life from mansion to madhouse
82 Master Zedikar Sells his Soul, opera about selling soul to devils and trip to hell
83 Beggars Delight, musical about beggars guild and orphanage showing happy lives
84 Downtown Mutant , sad play about a mutant who dreams of better life, killed by mob
85 Mysteries of Alchemy, theatrical exhibit of alchemy, create hermaphrodite in finale
86 The Rat Kings Daughter, parody opera satirizing class system
87 Feats of the Body, live dissection of regenerating monsters like mutants and trolls
88 Wonders of Phrenology, scientific display by expert in this new exiting field
89 Caverns of the Lich King, Opera of adventurers lost in caves beneath city sewers
90 The Bleak Tower, romantic drama play about wizards household servants
91 Mysteries of the Ancients, dramatic reenactments of moments in history
92 Dance of the Golems, romantic ballet about golems in love in palace of wizard
93 King of the Frog Folk, sacrilegious comedy making priests look foolish
94 Scarlet Tom's greatest Show, best songs of cities favorite bard tribute show
95 Miss Nancy's Treat, popular music hall with dinner, nobles come to slum with commoners
96 Rituals of the Mysterious East, live sex, necrophilia and bestiality show, adults only
97 Tragedy of Princess Aurora, play about loving outside your station and brutal results 
98 The King in Yellow, Forbidden in the empire, depraved play said to drive viewers mad
99 Laugh With The Humanoids, comedy skits with actors as goblinoids and demihumans
100 Tears of the Troglodyte, romantic comedy about cave dwelling subhumans


  1. Took a bunch of these to use as Joop van Ooms' productions in my game. Thanks.

    Added "Rub a Dub Grub" - child actors in maggot suits frolic at public bath.

    Now, to whip up the effects of viewing these ridiculous things!


  2. Another amazing and useful list!


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