Thursday 1 September 2016

d100 Things off duty devils do

Do the devils work and do it well! But even devils have things to do in their own time. Idle hands do the devils work they say but devil downtime means doing things for themselves. Tormenting souls might be a job but those souls belong to someone else. In their own time they torment souls they have shares in and are more profitable personally. They also socialise, wheel and deal, eat, drink, love, screw and have hobbies. Dukes of hell use free time to control the lesser devils but arch dukes in turn use them. Devils evolve over time by service while demons are more haphazard and mutate and use luck. Demons are lazy and indolent mostly but some serve greater demons or devils  to gain more opportunities to gain power. Devils advance slow and steady demons are a mess and go up and down with rare spikes advancing them or turning them into ooze.

There are a few commodities devils enjoy and trade

The damned are souls of the dead sent to hell for being lawful evil. They get a chance to be tormented and abused and possibly advance up the ranks. Mostly they are just slaves to be abused. Some are naked or wear grave shrouds. Some are corporeal some are semi intangible phantoms (they require more cerebral torments). Some hells have specific local damned. They are valuable as food, slaves and objects of torment and raw materials of other things. Damned are harder to kill and if they die are reborn from the soil of hell possibly in a new form.
Hell rum is distilled from the suffering of the damned. It is sweet spicy and fiery rum that gets you drunk and makes mortals scream in pain and terror. It is addictive but can be cured by regular alcoholism.

Hell gems are worth hundreds of gold but in hands of mortals a save is required or owner becomes paranoid and greedy for more more. They are willing to keep wealth to themselves and believe others crave their hell gem and money. Devils leave them on the mortal plane to undermine economies and ruin the rich. Gems are made by putting damned in a special furnace for 60 years.

Hell Metal is reddish gold metal that can be enchanted to up to +3 and even without enchanting can hit beings requiring magic to harm. It feels warm to the touch and is receptive to fire enchantments. It is also used instead of gold and iron. It sparks if struck by iron or silver.

Devil Weed is a herb devils smoke, it is addictive ans being without it causes mood swings and spats of anger. When on it the user is dreamy and relaxed and reacts less to horror and fear. +2 save vs fear if user fails saving throw and develops mild addiction with first use. Three fails in a row causes permanent addiction. In the mortal world is hard to get as it only grows in hell..

Larvae are the first stage the damned take evolving into various devilish forms. These idiotic human headed maggots bite and squirm and cry like babies. Lower planar beings trade them. They may also be evolved into orcs which are handy when earth born troops are needed invulnerable to magic that stops planar beings but it is a bit of a waste.

Stench Kows are stinking hairy cattle covered in sores and also a evolved form of damned made from larvae. They provide meat, hide and stinking dairy products. Sausages are a popular byproduct. Their faces have a hint of humanity and are slightly more intelligent. They also are used to carry goods in baggage trains. They eat any plants in hell and especially steal devil weed crops.

Quick devil off duty deeds
01 Torture - earn diabolic merit and for fun, nice to try own torture styles out
02 Paperwork - diabolic bureaucratic documents keep poor devils busy 
03 Handycrafts - making diabolic goods to trade or just for fun
04 Culture - refined arts for sophistication and recreation
05 Socialising - hanging with friends, enjoying company
06 Domestication - looking after pets, gardening, farming
07 Dining - enjoying a meal, cooking food or friends for dinner 
08 Games - recreational table top games, sports and contests
09 Romance - time for love
10 Study - a course of self improvement to help promotions

d100 Things off duty devils do
01 Force feeding damned coins till they shit them then repeat
02 Whipping damned in chains
03 Boiling damned in cauldrons of d6 1=lead 2=oil 3=piss 4=acid 5-blood 6=poison
04 Impaling damned on poles and watching them twitch for days
05 Nailing damned to boards or wheels then erecting on poles
06 Using torture apparatus like wracks, iron maidens, wheels, etc on damned
07 Hurling damned into pits of d4 1=toads 2=snakes 3=lava 4=plague rats
08 Setting enraged hell hounds on damned with broken legs
09 Disemboweling damned and winding intestines onto wheeled apparatus
10 Making damned act as wet nurses and nannies for larvae (they like blood or milk)

11 Calculating time sheets and torture sessions till next promotion
12 Working out income tax with abacus

13 Copying out soul contracts for future business
14 Boning up on diabolic contract law from huge books
15 Writing flattering letters to superiors in lovely penmanship in blood from a damned victim
16 Reading reports on innovative torture and temptations
17 Reading up on sins of the damned to help next torture shift
18 Cataloguing larvae and gold savings in hell banking accounts
19 Writing in diary about last hundred years of tedious torments and turmoil
20 Illustrating a manuscript with blood and bile from eviscerated damned victim
21 Arranging skulls into architectural features and furniture
22 Flailing damned skin to make vellum sheets and blank books
23 Sharpening and polishing armour and weapons
24 Carving diabolic designs on d4 1=skulls 2=walls 3=damned 4=
25 Personal grooming, cleaning hooves, trimming hair, painting nails 
26 Tattooing diabolic sigils on d4 1=larvae 2=each other 3=damned 4=stench Kows
27 Weaving human hair into rugs, rope and baskets to relax
28 Grooming stench kows, brushing or braiding hair, decorating with ribbons and makeup
29 Constructing things like furniture from stretched hide and bones of damned
30 Fusing living screaming damned into furniture, huts, chests and other objects 
31 Playing instruments made from living screaming damned stretched and contorted
32 Having a dance off to wild fiddle music
33 Rehearsing plays and skits for amateur night theater (force damned critics to watch)
34 Whipping choir of damned souls so screams make music
35 Forcing damned artists to create new work with cruel deadlines
36 Playing with fireworks and inserting into damned
37 Devils book club discussing literary merits in front of damned authors 
38 Devil writing memoirs while comrades listening to screams in cumfy chairs
39 Watching ballet of damned dancing on metal plate over lava while screaming
40  Painting scenes of torment from life using posed damned
41 Devils dividing up treasure and larvae over beer and sausages
42 Smoking and gambling around a table drinking shots of rum
43 Chatting while tormenting a captured cherub in a cage
44 Splashing about in a lava pit laughing with imps
45 Devils drinking beer after hard shift at work 
46 Devil secret society meeting with ritual followed by beer and sausages and singing
47 Devils telling tall tales over beer and stench kow cheese
48 Devils practising acrobatics, flips and dance moves
49 Devils trading damned slaves, drugs, larvae and cattle
50 Devils trading weapons, armour and metal goods from stench kow baggage train
51 Herding stench kows to d4 1=dairy 2=butchers 3=pasture 4=market
52 Playing with hellcat kittens or hellhound pups
53 Stabbing larvae in flaming pits with pitch forks gleefully
54 Trading larvae with night hag riding night mare for virgin tears
55 Burning away flesh of damned turning them into mindless larvae
56 Devils comparing larvae to find who has the fattest and longest
57 Scrubbing larvae with sulfur and urine to keep them shiny and sleek
58 Crating larvae for shipping to senior devils and branding them with diabolic sigils
59 Watching over pupating larvae hatching into imps
60 Devils watching each other taking turns ride bucking stench kows
61 Devils eating roast stench kow served by damned servants
62 Devils turning a spit roasting damned victim
63 Devils distilling hell rum partly involving wailing cries of pain from damned 
64 Devils with furnace cooking a damned soul into a hell gem over hours
65 Devils with alchemical lab brewing up a batch of potions
66 Devils brewing up beer from snake heads and imp piss
67 Devils growing, harvesting, refining, drying and smoking devil weed
68 Devils collecting damned screams in jars to use in magic items or just for fun
69 Devils having a cook off testing dangerously spicy food on damned
70 Devil master chefs having contest to use rare ingredients with damned kitchen hands
71 Carnival with games, music, sideshows and tormented living flesh calliope 
72 Hellhound racing chasing damned runaways with devils placing bets
73 Forcing damned to compete in sporting events
74 Betting over fights between d4 1=larvae 2=hellhounds 3=hellcats 4=damned
75 Having a most horrible fart contest with sulphurous and even flaming gas emissions
76 Devils playing d4 1=chess 2=cards 3=backgammon 4=checkers
77 Making larvae and imps battle for cash prises
78 Making damned fight to the death in elaborate battle scenarios and reenactments
79 Devils playing dice games that involve torture for damned
80 Devils forcing damned to play spin the bottle with imps
81 Groping damned, tearing off their clothes, smooching and abusing them while they cry
82 Devils hugging and kissing on blanket of flailed damned skin
83 Devils having a off duty orgy with crying damned slaves
84 Devils coyly dancing and kissing at after work mixer with band of damned
85 Devil serenading she devils who giggle and blush
86 Devil dancer putting on burlesque show for comrades
87 Devil selling tiny naked damned in bottles making them dance with flame
88 Devils assisting screaming damned to give birth to live larvae or eggs
89 Devils making slaves get married and forcing them to perform wedding nuptials
90 Devil bondage club with damned gimps cleaning up spills and messes
91 An old bearded devil teaching imps and lesser devils the secrets of success
92 Working on forging hell metal weapons and armour with damned slaves on bellows
93 Devil school with senior devil teaching naughty imps, failures are devolved into larvae
94 Devils reading and practising techniques for abusing damned slaves from manuals
95 Devils sparring and duelling and performing drills with old veteran sergeant
96 Devils training larvae to perform tricks and testing evolution techniques
97 Devil instructing lesser devils on tempting humans into selling souls
98 Devils training slave damned int performing painful labours in giant apparatus
99 Devil students learning to recognise sigils of dukes and secret societies of hell
100 Devil trying to get demons to understand rules of being bounty hunters in hells service

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