Thursday, 5 November 2020

d100 Terrible deeds for mad despotic fantasy rulers

I've been busy building my moonroom in a nightclub. So I'm in with a non-profit nightclub punky art space. Nice to have ppl listen to me and meet lots of young ppl who all like jazz and have lots of talent. Doing a table book on Patreon this month I will start this weekend. As I have a venue I'm doing more culture stuff next six months and will buy a house then decide if I stay in this state. Recently listening to lots of tube vids on Middle Earth and Dune. Halfway through an audiobook of the dune when it was deleted just as it got to where I read up to years ago. Shrek is love.

d100Terrible New Policies for Mad F
antasy Despots
01 Declares some type of demihuman a menace and demands they be rounded up
02 Insults ruler of an old ally and previously offends them all
03 Invades a smaller nation for some resource that turns out to be worthless while claiming to help them from a tyrant who most of the people like
04 Makes gestures of friendship to a former enemy who returns the attention
05 Permits friends and brutish idiot family to hunt unicorns for a feast 
06 Replaces officials with incompetent corrupt friends who do terrible jobs
07 Introduces strange new coin of red gold like metal that inspires greed in those who handle it 
08 Has workers uncover the ruins of the temple of the forbidden god claiming money found will aid the kingdom
09 Cuts bounties and rewards for killing monsters so many adventurers leave the kingdom
10 Holds spectacular parties with merchant lord rumoured notorious sex demon cult leader
11 Declares several robber knights are pardoned and gives them estates of lords he feels are not loyal or critical
12 Royal consort disappears and gets a new younger prettier one
13 Declares unmarried must be investigated for wicked cults
14 Allows an evil wizard school to open publicly claiming they are in fact good guys
15 Encourages dragons to overrun a border region as it will cut the defence budget
16 Invites a notorious evil wizard to be an adviser
17 Appoints leaders of criminal guilds to magistrates as they know crime better than anyone
18 Burns down castles of noble that disagree and the dungeons are occupied by monsters, cults and evil wizards who love the new real estate opportunities
19 Declares a devil cult not so bad and lets them operate in the public for the good works they do
20 children roam land killing magical good creatures for sport
21 Has military parades 
22 Imprisons critics in dungeons 
23 Builds arenas for bloodsports
24 Kills a kinsman or one of their own children or bastards
25 Has victims tortured as entertainment 
26 Enjoys torturing animals
27 Keeps replacing consorts blaming infertility on them
28 Has many scandalous lovers in court
29 Blackmails victims into being lovers by threatening kin
30 Brings in own bodyguard of monsters
31 Establishes a secret police force
32 Establishes an inquisition against some religious minority
33 Declares minority people or religion outlaws so can steal land and property
34 Forces oaths of loyalty from everyone above and beyond what is proper
35 Has a famous hero imprisoned
36 Has protesters attacked by
37 Empowers own military order who wear beast masks and terrorise people
38 Raises taxes on everything to crush poor and merchants
39 Drives away foreign traders and certain goods increase in price
40 Forces nobles and merchants to loan money on the threat of torture and prison
41 Turns up at a wedding and kills some family guests and abuses the now unhappy couple
42 Takes common land for sheep and forbids peasants from using it
43 Protects forests and wild animals 
44 Punishes all residence of a village for crimes of one
45 Writes own translation of holy texts to be made standard by law
46 Replaces church leaders with inept and corrupt frauds
47 Destroys ancient monuments
48 Loots ancient graves or church inventing paranoid claims to justify
49 Praises murder hoboes who become uncontrollable thugs the law won't stop
50 Introduces new types of slavery and slave markets
51 Laughs at children's sadistic games on poor and animals

52 Has peasants dress as animals and hunts them
53 Tests new siege weapons with peasants living nearby
54 Builds a military force for invasion funded by new taxes 
55 Cuts down a whole forest for forts or navy that locals depend on
56 Has guild leaders executed for treason and steals assets or  replaces with friends
57 Allows friend to buy monopoly rights on the production of basic goods
58 Does nothing as are destroyed by disease or natural disaster
59 Reduces the number of holy days, feasts and 
60 Disarms peasants and shuts down militias
61 Peoples fleeing disaster are massacred
62 Has huge statues dedicated to own glory or a new religion
63 Spends fortune on luxuries and parties while roads decline and lawlessness spreads
64 Promises a peasant protest to satisfy them then has leaders killed
65 Encourages lawmen to rob and persecute anyone they please
66 Replaces industry workers with cheaper kobolds
67 Gives part of the kingdom to a monster race for national security
68 Develops mutations from dealings with chaos but official portraits unchanged
69 Has a popular noble killed so they can take their love for self
70 Declares some group of being allied to enemy nonhumans and seizes the property
71 Forbids bows, crossbows or long-range weapons from commoners

72 Forbids commoners from riding horses or eating certain beasts but nobles permitted
73 Seizes livestock of certain species or colour
74 Sends a phrenologist to travel land sterilising anyone ugly or unhappy
75 Demands a bigger crown and raises a new tax on bread or another common item
76 Bans commoners from common pleasure like drinking dancing or animal blood sports
77 Introduces new narcotic from mysterious foreign merchants (are they human)
78 Sells prison inmates to creatures from the underland as slaves or food
79 Breeds monsters for fun and releases them to hunt
80 Has dangerous monsters protected by law for only nobles to hunt and they start eating commoners
81 Claims the lycanthropy outbreak is a lie spread by personal enemies 
82 Has necromancers make deceased debtors work as zombies 
83 Declares ancient elder monsters deserve respect and no longer a threat and we can trade and let them own land and shops 
84 Sells grain to foreigners while commoners starve
85 Wants to build a colossal tomb-like the ancients that takes decades and drains the nation's wealth
86 Bankrupts treasury with gold privies and unicorn skin seat covers
87 Wants to marry a sibling or child or monster
88 Under the sway of succubi, cult leader or vampire lover
89 Ate flesh of a human just to try it and other nobles want to join the fad
90 Has a pet they give an important government job to and spoil with golden feed bowls and diamond collars and expensive adorable costumes 
91 Have a decadent favourite who can do anything they want and humiliates the kingdom
92 Decides to wear a strange mask

93 Kills servants or courtiers who displease them and all live in fear
94 Some children are mutants and infamously cruel sadists who act as horribly as they please
95 Hellmouth opens and ruler wants to send gifts and sacrifices to appease hell and hopes to trade

96 Adopts strange new cult that has no power, just a scam to rake in the cash
97 Builds a fabulous murder maze full of monsters where victims trapped inside to die
98 Citizens vanish across land and ruler claims its all fake
99 Blames some problem they created on foreign power or minority and declares war
100 Decides they have divine right to conquer the world

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