Friday 15 June 2018

Wizard Wars 3: Gossip & Loot

Part 3

d100 Gossip - to cover wild stories of atrocities, failure and propaganda
d100 Loot - particular goods flooding the market during the invasion

The wizard wars will probably change your kingdom lots. New weapons and spells, new attitudes to magic, new technology, new landscape features. These wars make a good overarching layer on a sandbox campaign. Characters could help the war effort or try to ignore it. Possibly this gossip will not make the local folks cause appealing. Maybe this is why wizards are fed up.

Remember after WW1 you can have WW2 and WW3..

d100 Gossip
01 Wizards are among us everywhere if you ever slander them they will know
02 Wizards will destroy the world with their unatural experiments
03 Wizards will enslave us all and make us thralls to demons and elementals
04 Wizards are against the gods and heretic, they will pay for this hubris
05 All this war only benefits the top wizards who seek the power of the gods
06 Anyone with a beard could be a wizard
08 Women are not smart enough to be wizards
09 Unlawful spell casting is witchcraft and deserves a burning as a first warning
10 If you kill a wizard burn them as they will arise as undead
11 Wizard bones have all kinds of properties in potions and remedies
12 Anyone who reads could be a wizard, watch them
13 Burn all books and paper, kill the book binders and wizards will be over
14 I heard of some good wizards but where are they now?
15 The only good wizard is a dead wizard
16 I've heard that some elderly folk outside of town are wizards and they have lots of gold and land too, we should burn them
17 A wizard got my sister pregnant, I'm taking her to a priest to see what we can do about it
18 Wizards will tear open the veil of reality and usher in a age of chaos and magic
19 WIzards ruled the world once and will again!
20 Only faith in the gods will save us! Give heavily to the church
21 To tell if someone is a wizard, burn their heart and see if imps come out
22 My wife was turned into a pig by a wizard and they stole all my money!
23 My crops have failed and my cows have gone dry, wizards dunnit!
24 WIzards devalue labour and when they win working men will be replaced by golems and orcs
25 As if we needed more bloody orcs, those wizards are breeding them in the thousands!
26 Many monsters in the wizard armies are their former enemies shapechanged and charmed
27 My cousins son went to wizard school and was killed in a fireball accident
28 The best thing to do is find a empty cave and hide with food for a few years
29 Wizards are not that bad, they will free us from work and the church and nobility
30 I was turned into a newt by a wizard but luckily i got better
31 All monsters were made by wizards, except the ones made by the gods as punishment, but it is mostly wizards
32 Wizards hate each other and this regime wont last
33 If the great wizard council falls then the whole war will end
34 If I ever see a wizard i will kill them, just stab them in bed and they die like anybody else
35 Wizards wear pointy hats because their skulls are deformed from too much learning
36 My village has burned the healers and everyone literate so we are safer now
37 Best lock up your daughters and wives, wizards will do anything to steal them and have their way with them, block even the keyholes
38 Wizards towers are bigger on the inside and some have access to other dimensions
39 Wizards all serve demons and elementals
40 Wizards plan on replacing humans with obedient immortal automatons
41 Anyone caught by wizards will have their souls drained, best kill yourself and your family first
42 Wizards are not human, they never go to the toilet and have tails
43 The war is a scam, they always controlled the nobility and this war is just to cull humans and round us up to steal our souls
44 Wizads are really demons, apprentices are replaced by fiends of chaos that is how their magic works
45 Wizards wear dresses because they are evil, they get very angry if you point out this
46 Many animals are spies for wizards look out!
47 They tortured a old man for two days before he admitted he was a wizard  and now he has been drowned and burned
48 In some places they drown then burn wizards in others they burn them and scatter ashes in the river, i wonder which is the one true way
49 Now we know we should dig up all the dead wizards and give them trials anf burn them to be sure
50 Only the inquisition is the voice of moderation and reason, they are our one true hope
51 I heard the money lender mutter in some strange language and count using strange numbers Ive never heard, we should have more beer and get him

52 That juggler in the market is a wizard spy, i saw him pull an egg from a boys ear with demonic powers!
53 Wizards are only attacking because they saw the future and decided to strike first
54 You know sometimes I wonder if priests are just a school of wizard and the gods are just lies
55 We cant stop the wizards, we should welcome them so they spare us and help them win
56 We owe the nobles nothing, wizards are reasonable and mostly will leave us alone
57 Never accept meat from a wizard they just turn victims into animals, you could be eating your own family
58 Wizards turn their piss into wine, they think it is hilarious, i hope the tavern knows where the grog comes from
59 The stars in the skies are wizards zooming through the void, their power grows the further apart they are
60 Those stories of good wizards are just propaganda to dupe you
61 Wizards will have us all mining components and growing wizard weed, if you object they will turn you into farm animals and eat you
62 Check any animals you buy, they may be the victims of wizards or spies!
63 If you cut out a wizards tongue and eyes and shatter their hands they are powerless
64 WIzards need drugs to fuel their power. We should find all the drugs and burn them, and the apothecary and the herbalists shop in case
65 Anyone could have wizard powers, they keep the powers secret to oppress us all
66 One day all magic will be purged from the world, wizards, monsters gods the lot can burn
67 I was surprised when my parents were discovered to be witches, now their land and gold is mine so that's something
68 I had to stab my neighbor, i heard him muttering a spell
69 A witch made me impotent with a curse. When i find who she was I will stab her a dozen times
70 I heard wizards can turn men into women, we have to stop them before all true men are made into women!
71 All women are sensitive to magic, best watch your wives for signs of witchcraft

72 I heard in a town they burned the whole madhouse down, they were all really wizards!
73 Thieves are really wizard spies, the guild teaches unnatural skills and arts and we should find them and hang them all
74 Bards are all wizards in disguise. Best find them and kill them and destroy any musical devices
75 I've heard a lord has many books in his home, we should pay them a visit and burn them all and the wizard in disguise
76 Those druids in the forest, they are just wizards! We must get the Inquisitors here!
77 Compasses, gunpowder, clocks all wizard magic, destroy them all as abominations
78 Did you hear about that man who killed his family? His wife was a witch and the children were imps and homonculi. Sad he had to burn them all, what a good guy
79 Elves are all wizards, every one and we should burn them too!
80 Anyone can use magic, even women! Only muscles are honest and the proper way to do things. If wizards had their way women would be the equals of men!
81 Only holy books are proper books. All other books are evil. All other writing is against the gods
82 Ive heard the nobles have guards around the university! They must be in league with the wizards!
83 Only hard work and sweat make us equal, wizards want to oppress us and demean our labour. They could do all our work with just a thought but they enjoy our suffering
84 I hear a man has a talking bird in the market, obviously a demon familiar!
85 Have you seen that old widow talking to her cats? Obviously they are devil spawn and familiars
86 Foreigners are all wizards, look at their strange writing and the gibberish they speak. We should find some and make them confess!
87 Wizards want us to hate them, it was so they could mobilize in a preemptive strike against us and claim it was self defense
88 I've seen carvings on rocks in the hills, obviously ancient wizard marks, we should go deface them and carve holy symbols there
89 I heard that student who rented a cottage has books, clearly a wizard spy
90 Beware the familiars and imps of wizards are everywhere, if you see any small animals listening to you you should kill them
91 WIzards are not even real, it's just slight of hand tricks and formula using natural materials, anybody could do it. I stabbed a wizard there was nothing special about his body when I carved it up, just like any human corpse
92 The magistrate has been busy releasing all sorts of criminals, turns out most convicts were framed or charmed by wizards, well we are onto their tricks now

93 A wizard made me stab that woman I tell you and no reasonable court would convict me
94 I hear the king wants a 100 mile wizard exclusion zone around the border and bailiffs will be searching all travellers and seizing all books and documents, gods be praised for the kings wisdom
95 That poor noble discovering his own wife was a wizard! Well he now has a younger more attractive wife so I hope he is happy

96 I hear the priest is putting animals on trial to identify any familiars among us
97 Good thing the clear headed church is here to guide us in this crisis, my firewood business is booming with all the burning, coffins, and hangmans scaffolds
98 If you put a secret hex mark over your door the wizards will leave you alone
99 If you find any strange marks over the door of a house it means they are wizard spies
100 Any wizard who doesn't go along with the wizard council is being destroyed, they are so intolerant and prejudiced, best to kill all wizard fanatics for the common good

d100 Wizard Loot
01 Slim student book with d4 common cantrips, woodblock print 100gp/spell
02 Student volume with a first level common spell, woodblock print 500gp
03 Apprentice study book with four first level common spells, woodblock print 2500gp
04 Senior apprentice book with a second level spell, woodblock print 1000gp
05 Senior apprentice book with a third level spell, woodblock print 3000gp
05 Blank wizard travel book 1'x2'x6" with leather strap 500gp
06 Blank wizard book for home use, 2'x3'x1' with lockable clasp 1000gp
07 Old wizard book first level uncommon spell book, hand written 1000gp
08 Old wizard book second level uncommon spell, hand written 2500gp
09 Graduate Wizard Book (1stx4 2ndx2 3rdx1), hand written 10000gp
10 Senior Wizard Book (1stx6 2ndx4 3rdx2 4thx2 1x5) 25000gp
11 Waterproof spellbook oil, rub on a book and impervious to water damage 100gp
12 Spellbook lock (can have several) 50gp
13 Spellbook poison needle trap for spellbook 100gp
14 Spellbook poison ink will poison reader who uses bare hands 200gp
15 Spellbook permanant run proof ink 100gp
16 Quill that takes dictation 1000gp
17 Quill that writes in code only magic or the writer can read 1000gp
18 Quill that translates thoughts into one other language 1000gp
19 Quill that can only write what the writer believes is the truth 1000gp
20 Sealing wax as wizard lock only magic or user or intended recipient can open 100gp
21 Magic scroll 1st level
22 Magic scroll 2nd level
23 Magic scroll 3rd level
24 Magic scroll 4th level
25 Magic scroll 5th level
26 Magic scroll 1stx4 level
27 Cursed scroll reader saves or contracts lycanthropy 1000gp
28 Cursed scroll reader saves or goes blind 1000gp
29 Cursed scroll reader saves or age +d10 1000gp
30 Cursed scroll reader saves or becomes illiterate 1000gp
31 Lesser demon name in book with demon lore to summon specific demon 1000gp
32 Greater demon name in book with demon lore to summon specific demon 5000gp
33 Demon noble name in book with demon lore to summon specific demon 10000gp
34 Elemental noble name in book with demon lore to summon specific demon 10000gp
35 Lesser demon amulet to bargain with demon 2000gp
36 Greater demon amulet to bargain with demon 10000gp
37 Bound lesser demon, if released perform one task 5000gp
38 Bound lesser elemental, if released perform one task 5000gp
39 Book of demonic lore 1000gp
40 Book of elemental lore 1000gp
41 Magical spectacles detect magic in 1" 2000gp
42 Magical spectacles translate one language in 1" 1000gp
43 Magical spectacles translate any language in 1" 10000gp
44 Magical spectacles read magic in 1" 2000gp
45 Magical hat, pull out a rabbit once a day 400gp
46 Magical hat +1 Saving throws 1000gp
47 Magical hat +1 AC 1000gp
48 Magic robe AC +3 3000gp
49 Magic robe AC +5 5000gp
50 Magic wizard boots +1 Move 1000gp
51 Magic dagger +1 1000gp

52 Magic staff +1 1500gp
53 Magic sling +1 1000gp
54 Magic sling bullet 2d6 damage one use 400gp 
55 Magic bullet +1 can be re used if found 1000gp
56 Sling Stone with permanent light spell 100gp
57 Exploding slingstone 3d6 damage 1" across one use save half damage 1000gp
58 Slingstone +1 one use 100gp 
59 Magic dart +1 one use 100gp 
60 Swarm dart +1 if thrown becomes 2d4 darts in flight, one use 1000gp
61 Magic Staff +1 Cast Light three times a day 2500gp
62 Magic dagger +1 returns if thrown next round 2500gp
63 Magic sling bullet +1 returns if thrown next round 2500gp
64 Magic dart +1 returns if thrown next round 2500gp
65 Magic staff stores 1st level wizard spell 2500gp
66 Magic staff absorb a 1st level wizard spell and can recast at will or learn it 5000gp
67 Magic staff +1 can elongate to 10 foot long or shrink to 6 inches 2500gp
68 Magic Staff  protection from good or evil or law or chaos (one only) 2500gp
69 Magic Ring can learn extra 1st level spell 2500gp
70 Magic ring can learn extra 4 zero level cantrips 2500gp
71 Compass wrist band, non magical 400gp

72 Carraige Clock 8lb 2500gp
73 Grandfather Clock 60lb able to travel 4000gp
74 Cuckoo clock 12lb 2000gp
75 Wrist sundial (also good for navigation) 100gp
76 Sextant an advanced navigators tool 800gp
77 Folding telescope 800gp
78 Astrolabe for calculating position of the stars 600gp
79 Pair of spectacles 100gp
80 Clockwork music box plays one tune often ornate 1000gp
81 Alchemist test strips (10) skilled alchemist can test potions 100gp
82 Strip of 100 tiny fire crackers 100gp
83 Impressive signal rocket or good for parties 100gp
84 Hand grenade, cast iron with fuse 2d4 1" area 100gp
85 Incendiary Grenade 2d4 and save or take a d3 damage for a d4 rounds 100gp
86 Hair restoration potion, grows 3 foot hair and beard overnight 1000gp
87 Birth control Potion in box of 10, 100gp
88 Manly sexual Vigor potion 
in box of 10,  10gp
89 Sleep brew save or sleep for an hour, can mix with wine 50gp
90 Memory potion restores memory of a 1st level spell 100gp
91 Hideous doll with command words AC+4 2hd punch d4x2 Mov 9" 4000gp
92 Musical Automaton, walks and plays music, wind once per hour 10000gp

93 Chess Playing Automaton, can only sit, wind each game 10000gp
94 Singing Clockwork Bird In Gold Cage 10000gp
95 Girdle of Sex Change (not cursed can be removed but some have a lock) 1000gp

96 Cantrip Wand with single spell d20+50 charges 2000gp 

97 Focal Wand +1 Damage to any spell damage per dice 2500gp
98 Shape Change Wand save or turn int set animal (pig, chicken or frog common) d20 charges 4000gp
99 Broom of Sweeping will sweep an hour a day on own 1000gp
100 Flying Broom one hour a day 12" Mov 5000gp

Other Wars I Have considered.....Rival or possibly evil nation
Chaos Horde with demons, cultists and mutants
Fishmen and evil sea monsters - will help flesh out navies a bit

machines - built by evil gnomes or dwarves
Barbarian horde
Cavemen, Pleistocene beasts
Reptilians - dinosaurs, lizardmen, serpent men
Dwarf army - humans stole iron and gunpowder and must be stopped
Elementals and their cults
Witches - are fed up prioviding free healthcare and being burned for their trouble
Hell - infernal legions here to punish the wicked
Any preferences? Anyone Im missing out?
I mean those halflings would introduce 4 hour working day with 12 breaks and nice cake


  1. Hey, really enjoying this series. My world is completely exploding in warfare in all corners so these have been really useful. So thanks and keep em coming.
    I'd really like Chaos Horde, Hell and Dwarf or Barbarian if you taking votes on which to do next. Though Witches and Fishmen sound good too. Damn and so do the gnomish machines, these are all cool man.
    Have you done a Holy war? Like Kings and priests calling on holy orders and angels and stuff to fight in holy crusade like in Son of the Morning by Mark Alder (a neat book set in the 14th century wars of England and France with the conceit that all medieval christian mythology is real and gods can call upon angels if they build them cathedrals to aid them in battle, which of course means they act as nuclear deterrents between christian nations. So somebody decides to call on devils, who ultimately serve god, using a liturgical loophole. It's pretty neat.)

    1. you win comment of week - message me on my konsumterra @ gmail will send u link for prize

      holy war sounds pretty good idea
      will pad out religious forces and good for hell and chaos stuff too

      cheers feedback apreciated


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