Friday, 17 November 2017

d100 Secrets of the Murder Hobos


Old piss stained murder hobos, washed up adventurers, drunken former heroes fill the gutters and sly grog shops of Shadelport. These toothless old men might be worth hiring to come along but many will betray you, kill you, rob you, eat you or worse. But plenty more are too brain damaged old and crippled or drunk to do anyone mischief. But they might know a secret or two. Some know where old dungeons lay hidden, where treasure is buried, tricks for dealing with monsters and all kinds of things. Some might be lies just for enough money for a beer or a hit of lotus dust. Under my index you will see lots of old murder hobo tables. Possibly a compilation of them might be worth a go.

Suggested by
Nova Scotia Dream in last post comment box.

d10 What does the drunken old murder hobo want?
01 Enough money for a beer
02 Enough money to stay drunk for a month

03 Lotus resin or some other adictive drug
04 A job in service to adventurers or a household
05 To come with adventurers as a follower for a adventure
06 A night with a prostitute
07 A bath and a hot meal
08 Armour and a weapon and a few beers
09 A suckling roast piglet and a jar of grog
10 To be taken on a last adventure to die fighting


d100 Quick Secrets Types
01 Buried Caches - hidden loot left by adventurers
02 Explored dungeons - possibly repopulated or good for beginners
03 Active dungeons - found but marked for later, untouched by adventurers
04 Monster Lairs - possible treasure guarded by some rare beast
05 Tomb location - possible riches and death await
06 Underworld Entries - great cavern complexes into the hidden lands of the deep
07 Esoteric Lore - strange information that might come in handy
08 Secret Locations - secret paths and passages
09 Magic Secrets - formula and recipies and spells
10
 Forbidden Secrets - terrible lore humans were not meant to know

d100 Secrets of the Murder Hobos

01 Map to chests of copper coins left by party who couldn't carry them
02 Map to stockpile of adventuring supplies in buried waggons

03 Map to abandoned silver mine with silver left and some monsters
04 Map to treasure pile adventurers left behind when chased away by humanoid tribes
05 Map to adventurer treasure ship sunk on a reef off the coast
06 Map where adventurers hid a stolen army payroll years ago, surely long forgotten
07 Map to where adventurers left loot from dungeon when baggage handlers fled
08 Map to hoard of pirate treasure stolen from a pirate captain who disappeared 
09 Map to ruined house in haunted woods where wounded adventurers hid loot on the run
10 Map to Dwarven dungeon treasure house but swarming with undead

11 Map of dungeon cleared out decades ago but now inhabited by new monsters
12 Map of dungeon left half cleared out when most of party died on last expedition

13 Map of dungeon mostly cleared out but famous hidden treasure never found
14 Map of dungeon rumoured to be cleared out every decade hidden near city
15 Map of dungeon party was exploring but others all killed by a cult
16 Map of dungeon where alchemists made potions in secret full of loot
17 Map of dungeon with a sleeping cursed princess in a crystal coffin 
18 Map of secret dungeon in sewers beneath city made as secret treasure house
19 Map of dungeon concealed in riverbank by mud but once active
20 Map of dungeon the rest of party took over and became boss monsters
21 Map of secret kobold dungeon they have been expanding for decades  
22 Map of reptilian dungeon where degenerate albino reptile men savages lurk 
23 Map of of old dungeon used by generations of bandits with stockpile of merchant loot
24 Map of dungeon entrance hidden by cult trying to repair ancient artifact
25 Map of hidden dungeon where a goblin kings minions dig for gems
26 Map of secret village of ogres reputed to be guarding great piles of gold
27 Map of a ancient orc factory where wizards used to make them from mud
28 Map of secret cult temple filled with wealth but now occupied by beastmen
29 Map of sorcerer pleasure sect where decadent cult keep slaves and drugs
30 Map of forbidden necromancy school where evil wizards learn wicked magic
31 Map of a hidden dragon lair in mountains where beast hibernates for centuries
32 Map of cave of a ogre magi and his goblin minions guarding ancient scrolls
33 Map of a cave where hill giants dwell in mountains with gold and sheep
34 Map of seaside cliff cave hidden by tides, lair of fishmen and their blasphemous gold
35 Map of werewolf lair that has for generations been robbing, killing and kidnapping
36 Map to hidden dark elf tree house where they spy on and cruelly prank humans
37 Map to ruins where a clan of doppelgangers have been plotting against humanity 
38 Map to riverside lair of a great magical serpent who guards a golden horde 
39 Map to lair of cultists who robbed a reliquary of holy treasure the church will pay for
40 Map to lair of troglodytes who have been worshiping a bejewelled reptile statue
41 Map to a prehuman crypt of a catfish man wizard guarded by undead and traps
42 Map to a earthen mound tomb of a ancient wizard famed as a maker of magic items 
43 Map to tomb of king who fought ancient evils entombed with his magic weapons 
44 Map to buried mausoleum of a necromancer king sealed since the fall of their empire
45 Map to crumbled pyramid tomb in forest where serpent man kings were buried long ago
46 Map to valley of crumbling cliff tombs may untouched and sealed with intact magic traps
47 Map to hidden cave tomb of of a barbarian chieftain famed for thier gold and chariots 
48 Map to a hidden tomb of the vampire bat priestesses of a bloody prehuman cult  
49 Map to tomb of a cruel wizard lord who once terrorised region before his burial
50 Map to great island crypt of a pirate captain who plundered many exotic lands 
51 Map to a cave entrance to a hidden dark elf citadel of the deep 
52 Map to a lost underground kingdom with strange magic and treasure
53 Map to a cavern with a ruined citadel swallowed up into the earth by the gods 
54 Map of a cave where a barbarian hoarde kept their loot until a dragon took it
55 Map of a great underground vault where albino degenerates worship a demon
56 Map of a great sulphur cave some say is a entrance to hell
57 Map of great volcanic cave with ruins of a ancient pre human temple 
58 Map of a cave complex where great lizards guard ancient stone sarcophogi
59 Map of a pyrites cave where a ancient dynasty fled with their gold
60 Map of a great sinkhole that plunges int the depths lined with fossils of great beasts
61 Knows common trade phrases of secret common language of the fish people
62 Recipie for waterproofing oil that protects spellbooks and from water damage 
63 Knows recipe for delicious wine from berries most think are inedible or poison
64 Knows how to make delicious seasoning from fermented seagull guts
65 Knows a secret word to calm donkeys and mules when they are scared
66 Formula for preserving corpses used in ancient burials and forgotten
67 Knows a special punch that gives +2 barehanded attack on dragon for a proficiency slot
68 Knows a secret technique to make a slingstone fly further for a proficiency slot
69 Knows how to make a scent that wolves and dire wolves hate to throw of trackers
70 Knows a secret call to summon common cave bats at night
71 Location of the yearly local goblin market
72 Knows where fishmen meet on the reef to conduct blasphemous rites
73 Secret entrance to one of the cities great libraries
74 Magic passwords through door in the mountain but nobody ever returned
75 Knows location of building where saucy parchments are copied from ancient originals
76 Secret route through the mountains to series of demi human and humanoid valleys
77 Secret location of great underground highway system built by dwarfs to cross mountains
78 Secret tunnels that lead from mountains to distant islands made by druids long ago
79 Location of a secret entrance of a secret school of forbidden wizardry 
80 Secret way into the city dungeon complex long forgotten by secret police even
81 Cliff location where primal wizards wrote long lost spells on walls
82 Formula for lotus resin that with extra ingredients makes addictive clairvoyance potions
83 Knows location of a rare herb that can restore memory of a 1st lv spell
84 Knows location of a magical pool with strange inconsistent effects
85 Knows a secret massage technique that dragons really like and could save your life
86 Knows location of a sphinx that knows spells forgotten before humans even existed
87 Knows erotic technique that can restore forgotten cantrips with a hour long sexual ritual 
88 Has rare spell book pages has been using as a handkerchief
89 Knows a recipe for invisible ink used by the secret police
90 Formula of ingredients of a potion using rare monster body parts for ingredients
91 True name and summoning ritual of a demon prince and instructions for protective sigils
92 Location of a forbidden book of necromancy lost long ago
93 Knows a recipe to heal zombies using human brains, blood and lotus dust 
94 Knows location of a imp in a bottle that if freed will serve opener for a time as slave
95 Knows recipe for demon blood wine that gives visions of the abyss that cults crave
96 Knows where a bubbling pool of chaos can be found that causes mutations
97 Knows of a cave in the mountains full of living edible meat, all you can eat
98 Knows location of portal and how to activate it but not where it goes
99 Knows where devil gems are found that cause any who touch them to lust after them
100 Knows whereabouts of several prostitutes actually otherworldly disguised beings

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