Intermission

Working lots and my imagination drained drawing cat princesses and tiny wars for my tiny masters for school holidays. More and more girls demanding dinosaurs fighting robots. One boy told me if he was a girl he would want to be a shemale and I suggested he not tell too many bout this brilliant original idea for a while till world more ready and he was older.

Had to watch How to tame a dragon 2 and relieved to see a hero who wants to find his mother. A relief from daddy obsessed hero boys who dont give a shit about mom in typical freud/hollywood/cambell formula. Great song where dad offers manly services which mom sings that's not what she wants she has other needs.

Also saw Disney on Ice which after 10 minutes i wanted to eat my arm off as the mickey sequences were straight out of 70s black and white minstrel shows every channel had and every state had a dinner theater restaurant over. Sadly every princess had distinctive under garments. Later part better and the kids had that princess afterglow so they loved every second of it so It's hard to argue with target audience. Harder to see what boys got out of it and I thought peter pan a scary kidnapper since I was small.

So mostly over and im catching up on blogs, shopping, new clothes, a unicorn mask and BRP hardcover (2 magic books coming in for me this week and now considering heroquest books).

Sword fighting with households cache of LARP weapons has been good to get me moving despite pain and I think I have a new hobby. Amazed at different styles of everyone and how is mentally stimulating and good cardio. I gonna buy some. I need a new bowler and suit to.

Will get back to my book draft and new ideas this week. Lots of Ideas for my DRP Roadwar game but unsure if any readers here really interested in. Club has accumulated pile of hotwheels and matchbox cars. I'm gonna get character sheets for cars and road sections started this week not my hours back to part time. Might try doing a photo comic based blog in future now mini collection looking good with comic life software.

Am teaching street art to adults again too which is good starting monday.

I wrote for 3 days a piece responding to flame wars but my hits double during them so i cant really whinge and i will get someone to read before I publish. Last few pain fueled rants i did i regretted.

Psychonlog: Inside the Dead God

Dedicated to John Pertwee and the City of Death.

So the party split up. The 5 foot tongue thief and the unicorn changeling woman met a octopus cthulhu worshipper and managed to find a security pass to  approach the kilometer long god corpse covered in mud in the swamp. The all had a menagerie of pets, mounts and followers.

Approached the death field and the Tako pulled off his genital tentacle and gave it the pass then used his psionic regeneration to grow a new one.

The tentacle passed the zone so they entered the armpit doorway.

Inside was a white room with a desicated corpse. As they went to examine the door behind them vanished.

Shit.

The corpse was a dead theif with some coins and potions. When the walls were touched geometric circuit like frieze of patterns appeared. Was  logic puzzle the party managed to solve and a new door appeared in wall. Began to realize inside the god was pocket dimension. Down a corridor they found several more puzzle/trap rooms with coloured floor tiles and others that experienced adventurers can methodically solve and yawn at.

Inside the head was a great crystal chamber with a throne. A huge crystal stalactite above it terminated in a helmet. Mysterious fluid inside the structure swelled about. The unicorn woman tried it on and writhed about screaming as her brain was sucked out to swim freely in the fluid. She became aware of the dead god and received a list of the materials to repair it. Then her brain crawled back and her skull was repaired and she fell off the throne gasping with a scar.

The thief decided to do it to (?) and only just escaped. The Tako octopus decided this was not so good having his brains a bit more spread out. Also suspicious the space god was an enemy of Cthulhu. The realized repairing the god, despite many resourced in the hex would require a life time of conquest and rebuilding all the ruined factories in the swamp. Then who knew what would happen.

As they debated what to do next eight greys with pocket lasers came from a unexplored passage and began firing. The heroes easily dispatched them and the octopus greedily grabbed the ray guns. They decided to explore from the direction the gray aliens had come from and found a saucer parked in a huge hanger. They sneaked up and two grey drones came outside and the thief ran one through from behind and others clubbed the other to pulp. A 8 foot humanoid silver robot came out and party scattered and hid. The octoppus picked up a grey corpse and hold it like a marionette from behind clumsily walked up to the saucer ramp. The robot was concerned for it's master and approached then the thief ran it through. Unicorn and octopus joined in destroying it swiftly.

They took the saucer and lived in it for a month. Several learned to peak grey and managed to manipulate the masterless AI. Recharged the ten ray guns and decided to fly. AI asked the space god to open the hanger doors and they were flung into the sky.

From the edge of space they saw the hexegon covered planet. The one of the satelie gods shot them down. All scrambled into graph couches except the octopus who squeezed into a locker and shut the door.

Saucer crashed and was being flooded with yellow water with a salty unpleasant taste. The octopus dragged the others to the surface to a new sky. Tangerine sky over yellow lakes, magenta soil and cyan grasslands. Crawled ashore and found some fishermen. They explained to local factions who were in a tense alliance against invading bug men. Party stayed with them and heard about the local tribes and decided to head for the pleasure dome of a sorcerer to the north.

So they set off and encoundered some hostile hobgoblins they had a stand off with. Meanwhile the theif was murdering them from behind and dragging corpses into the bushes. When fight broke out hobgoblins realized hey were already depleted and panicked. The leader died and they were broken. They fled and were all killed from behind.

As the turned around a awkward bit of lake in path they saw Morlocks on riding slugs with hunting clubs. They could have fed but were feeling cocky.

The theif on his riding flightless bat took a hidden position. The octopus was mounted on his land squid with his human girl servant. The unicorn girl transformed from quadruped to human woman and adjusted her coconut bra. The morlocks demanded the party women which the party scoffed at. Meanwhile the theif stabbed a few slug riders but the slugs saw him with there eye stalks and became unsettled. The fight was on.

Morlocks dismounted and charged. Octopus paralyzed several with his mind and lept into fray with his hand axes. His land squid grabbed the leader and pulled him underground. The unicorn girl was wary and hung back. Morlocks began to fall but theif fled as hungry giant flesh eating slugs slowly chased him. Was encircled but he managed to acrobaticly run over hem and sprint away after feelin wounds. Alas the riding bat was caught in a hail of acid slug spit. Then several slugs stopped to tear the trusty bat into chunks of flesh.

Enraged the thief pulled out his pump action shotgun and walked into the slugs blasting them into slimy pieces of meat. The others culled the morlocks who started to flee.

Satisfied the party marched on to see the dome of the sorcerer....

The Last Vikings: The Sacking of R'lyeh

Sorry been not doing new stuff - been working full time, socialising, dating, making art again and trying to finish proof copy of my table book.

So vikings has bee lots of fun for 6 months. Started as dirt poor farmer teens ended up international dread runelord warlords throwing themselves at the shores of Rlyeh and utter madness. All had written wills.

Hrafn a werewolf runelord champion of Odin doomed to die soon
Alrec despaired at difficulty of pleasing gods has become a dread sorcerer
Briedr a farmer and champion of Thor
Thorhadr a former weak youth raised by rival clan now a famous Scald and Sorceror of Tsathogua
Thora a priestess of Freya, mother and merchant princes wife preparing to leave Midgard
Throa her sister a runemaster, blacksmith and mother famous fer her iron mace
Yvette widow of Johan now a champion of Njordr the sea god with her sealion servants

So after killing all European in north America and Greenland (a hundred years before they return) they sailed in their warship with three others, each ship with a fifty men and women. Sunk cultist ships converging on Cthulhu's dread city R'lyeh. Also known as the hall of the Jörmungandr serpent or castle of the leviathan depending on your gods.

Found a rock Island near Greenland with cult ships. Evil monks from Ireland, savage Pict's, evil Briton druids, Orkney fish cultists and many other depraved drooling cultists had gathered here to perform rites to keep Cthulhu awake despite the stars not being quite right. Band marched up hill as their men slaughtered the cultists guarding the ships and burned them.

The heroes battles cultists including evil vikings and killed them all with relish. Into the depths they went down a spiral staircase till they found green robed cultists at a great green monolith led by a cowled being in tattered robes. Slaughtered the cult but those who approached the leader saw it was in fact a crawling mass of worms in a mans shape that had somehow learnt to walk where it ought to crawl.

It hurled a sticky black glob from a tin bucket with a spatula which Thorhadr blocked with his shield, but Briedr was struck by one which ate some of his intellect before they destroyed it. Smashed the worms as best they could and one of the younger Stonedale's they brought along began to eat worms laughing.

The planted elder signs and destroyed everything they could and collapsed cave mouth. Found cultists with a great gold disc with alien sigils they cut into three parts. Saw R'lyeh rise in distance. Alien angles troubled them but they approached. Sure they had ruined great cult ritual they were determined to inflict as much suffering as possible on the old ones.

Saw a blue monolith atop the second tallest peak and marched for it while soldiers hunted and killed deep ones and cultists on the Island howling with glee to be with the lord of madness. While climbing the high hill one man slipped into an odd angle never to be sen again. Entered the blue monolith and battled a horrendous tentacled frog demon which their magic weapons harmed. Killed it but several increasingly shaken. Hrafn was looking for death and did not care.

The place elder signs in the altar and climbed the stairs. Knowing they had hurt the cult scheme they now saw Cthulhu's crypt open and the vikings began to snap. The awful visage sent some over the edge. Thorhadr drained of magic went inside and carved a gate in the wall and jumped in to Saturn as Eibon had thousands of years go. Breidr went mad and was a feral beast. His tatooed skin made him greater than many beasts they had killed and it took four others to kill him. Alrec summoned a Byakee which didn't help the band's sanity. Young Stonedale who had eaten worms was bashed and knocked off the building to break all his limbs and laugh in a broken heap below. Others went inside a the living mountain came at them. They placed the sacred star stones at the entrance on ground and on top of tower. Thora entered a trance and left to Elfland. She begged her sister Throa to join her but she would not abandon all her children. Cthulhu lumbered over them and Hrafn climbed to the top of the Tower. Throa's old husband, keen for a heroic death charged and struck cthulhu with a pole axe and the alien titan stomped at him. The brave old warrior who now had a son longed only for death managed to deflect the blow but his shield arm was torn off. He got up and swung again and Cthulhu crushed the man into a smear on the eldritch staircase. Others struck at cthulhu and even harmed the horror using the warded tower to retreat into if needed. Hrafn preyed to Odin, his head that of a wolf and all his Odin inspired fury he mustered and jumped at the god, cutting his shoulder. Cthulhu snatched him in his tentacles before he hit the ground. Hrafn threw an elder sign down the gods throat before him. As he fell into the horrendous god maw, he heard sound of raven wings and the spear of Odin burst through his chest. Odin whispered into his ear from behind.

"You were doomed to die but not in the belly of the serpent, you were always mine to take to my halls"

Hrafn's spirit was carried to Valhalla. The warrior smiled as his spirit hung limply, his blurred vision of the horror god below choking, writhing and vomiting up the star stone. Throa and Yvette the only vikings left ran and with star stones to ward off evil fled to the boats and where there men were killing cultists. Many men had grabbed gold but the Alrec on his Byakee star demon came and warned them to leave Cthulhu's treasure. Those who disobeyed were either killed by deep ones or turned into disgusting ruined messes of outre fungus.

The ship pulled back as the Island began to sink and the sleepy god, having spewed up the elder sign staggered back to his eternal slumber for another thousand years or so.

Ragnorak was averted for at least a while.

Throa did see her sister again who tried to take her to Elfland. The sisters embraced and cried but Throa wanted to see her many daughters and part dark elf son live. Even the one the loki cultist claimed was really his via the use of his supernatural disguise prowess granted him by his god.

Yvette and her new husband and her children to Johan and pet sealions went to the bright Islands of Njordr to live forever.

Alrec was distraught without his brother. They had quarreled and fought together and he felt incomplete. He returned to Thor worship and spent time carving a runic version of the Necronomicon as a warning to future he named the Jörmungandrsaga dedicated to his brother. He tried many foul means to find his brother and eventually flew away into the stars on his Byakee one night never to be seen since.

Next time I run vikings will be 910 AD and children of these heroes will be players. Only Throa will remain to advise them.

Planet Psychon for rest of month them Cthulhu Babylon begins for bronze age shennanigans

Roadwar2000: Running down the dead

Equipment list last post got some queries about what kind of tech world am i running. One as imagined by games and books in 1990. I got Freelancers novels and found them to have some great future elements but found things like pretty much no internet kind of funny. So im playing with gimmick tech of yesteryear and making some great failures the peak of design.

Some tech is retro some still way off. I want street tech to be retro but the best of the best to be more like cyberpunk. I want lots of room for players to move so game doesn't die when they can get the best.

Base starting cars are 80s models with electric or biodiesal conversions. A single machine gun and a bit of armour. Renegade gang cars of wasteland are like MadMax roadwarrior junk heaps. Best stuff like corporate interceptors make James Bond look like a pussy. Will have F1 performance, anti aircraft missiles, lasers, self repairing nanitanium hulls, AI systems, liquid crystal radar and IR hiding stealth paint and more. Crappier high tech cars will have ablative armour, belt fed grenaide launchers, and other horrors.

There is psionics, implied magic and occult (but mostly unconfirmed teases), mutants, possible ETs and other red herrings. We just got a heap of sale hotwheels cars for club. Making track sections and car character sheets. Will write up rules so players can run as a wargame for one off combat missions.

Main Inspiration
Dark Future Game and kim Newman/Jack Yeavil novels by GDW
CARWARS by Steve Jackson but mostly the GURPS version
Gurps Cyberpunk, Cyberpunk 2020 and Iron Crown's underrated Cyberworld
TSR Top Secret/SI with Freelancers setting game setting and novels
Roadwar2000 game from early 90s
Deathrace films from original 70s to modern remakes

Crunching it all into Chaosium BRP but using Ringworld bonus system not included in BRP hardcover. I use 1 second combat rounds and have recoil rules rather than the awkward fire rates given in BRP. This means recoil suppressed light pistols are fine and magnums are pretty hard to hit with by last revolver shot continuously.

A few players want to play and customise toy cars. I hate guns and cars in real world but love in games. I felt jelousy i had not felt in 34+ years when i saw someone play with my fave toy car, Players adding cars to the collection for club. Some links here with mod cars and parts you can buy

http://www.stanjohansenminiatures.com/Road.htm
http://www.stanjohansenminiatures.com/
http://www.stanjohansenminiatures.com/Road%20cars.htm
http://www.stanjohansenminiatures.com/Road%20car%20crafting.htm
http://torontoautoduelassociation.wordpress.com/

This has stuff for dark future and lots of broken links. I have dark future rule book i found when i worked in a game shop 87? never saw box set or kits but this site has somee printable road sections.
http://futurehighways.roll2dice.com/paint/boardsections.html

Sadly in Brazil and Sth Africa you can get electrified hulls and 2000 degree flame jets that shoot a foot out around car as anti poor personel devices. World wide war on poor is horrible. 

Anyway todays game....

Sanest members of team....
Gentech Corp Psionic Ninja on armed bike
Catburgler looking for a buck
Trucker and demolition man with trailerless rig
Townless sheriff in police interceptor out for revenge

Joined by a borderline cyberpsycho who arrived as support later

So ordered by Gentech to investigate Unicorp 60 hectare research property under guise of locating missing locals the team arived in Featherfoot Victoria. A small country town isolated from the global plague but struck by grass blight of the 90s. Native grass faired better thane gene modified types of wheat and rice and corn. Didn't care for news of Mars mission arriving in orbit on TV. Who cares?

So met locals who overwhelmed them with welcome. Team suspicious of free beer and welcome but listened. Town had been hit by plague later than rest of country only  years ago. Many locals had disapeared of late and many families moved into the abandoned mill and silo complex and others in church. Town had a pub and graveyard and many abandoned homesteads surrounding it.

Locals mentioned lat disappearance was sheriff who was looking for a Ram in bush. They went to look and found his bike and saw a ram hide in scrub. Saw footprints lead into bush and evidence of sheriff being chased by ram. Went into scrub debating if ram dangerous and why he didn't shoot, but local Rolf said sheep valuable.

Sheep charged and the Trucker and Ninja fired. Beast had red yellow eyes and pustules and foaming at mouth. Surprised at beast durability they took samples and put in body bag. Sheriff had 12 for price of 10 value pack. Returned to town before dark and hung it from the windmill so dingo's wouldn't get it. Asked if a vet around and locals said that the Unicorp medic was nearest doc and he was a kind and helpful guy so they called him. He would be over at 9am.

Sheriff saw some locals not in conversation so he asked them and heard of dream time monster Featherfoot who walks backwards with feathers on his feet to be untraceable and kills and kidnaps. Others thought a UFO to blame or a ghost.

The girls (ninja and cat burglar in stealthsuits on bike) went exploring bush tracks after dark and got lost. Sherrif searched and failed and returned worried. Girls saw man in bush and asked him for directions. He shambled forwards silently. Ninja drew stealth gun and threatened him and he kept coming. She shot him in leg. Bloodless wound didn't slow him and he bolted forward. She kept shooting then dropped gun and drew her magnum revolver. Burglar waited behind her with her mono vibro dagger on. Magnum did a bit better but she dropped it and pulled her mono vibro katana.

Zombie missed and fell and girls carved him up. It was missing local sherrif. Not much blood.

Took his hat and found way home 1am.

In morning Doctor arrived in van with assistant and a jeep with 4 security guards from notorious dirty agency Kurosawa corp. They took sheep and Doc checked local kid. Ninja read his mind but he was strong and she got hints of his excitement at cross species contamination. Girls considered breaking into lab but guys detected a agent among villagers. Ninja read him and he was a Kurosawa corp spy. They tried to lure him to nearby emtpy shack and he resisted so trucker got in a fight and sheriff pretended to arrest both. Took to old bush shack and went to open door intending to drug and torture agent. But in the shack a zombie had other ideas. He exploded out and sheriff shot him with magnum. Ninja cut zombie down with sword easily.

The spy told how lab was not a agricultural research lab but a black bioweapon lab studying the plague from the 90s. Turns out last few days corpses world wide had been twitching in labs and morgues from plague victims. The local graveyard had over a hundred plague corpses in it. Went to graveyard and found a grave moving.

Called town meeting in church but townsfolk did not believe. Ninja entered with severed moving head from shack of local who died years ago. All convinced they barricaded the mill with high octane grog and car wrecks. Only three cars in town. Truck trailer could have got all out but not working mess. All in mill waited and dusk quieter than normal. Merc in van from rest of absent team arrived to help. Sheriff on roof called that graveyard moving. As they had welded yard gates closed thirty odd zombies were trapped inside when trucker set off bomb with buckets of nails and scrap. Sound of blast snapped he merc who left the secure mill and charged yard with grenade launcher. More zombies boiled up and the merc fired. Fence was ruined and zombies loose fifty more came.

Truck plowed into them killing several while sheriff on church roof jumped on and manned the machine gun on the roof. Burglar with mercs AK47 fired. Truck grinded into zombie mass, wheels spinning on raw rotten meat. Machine guns and grenades blazed. Zombies kept coming so truck backed up. Burglar slipped and fell trying to reach wreck of car walls and Ninja jumped on truck as it backed up. Nonstop gun fire mowed the dead down. Even the headless kept coming and some were distracted by screaming sheep locked in church. Truck charged again and many fired into zombies. Merc who was crazy started to punch zombies with his steel fist bursting them apart. Some tried to grab him and he just tore off their arms.

Truck mad a spectacular charge through zombies and turned through graveyard. Ninja fell of church roof when she jumped from truck. Emptied her reconciles machine pistol and went for sword. Sheriff on truck roof kept throwing grenades and firing the machine gun. The burglar emptied her rifle extended mag at zombies. Finally they had thinned out and the mad merc and ninja mopped up the rest. Town mad for blood and keen to go all angry torch wielding mob on company lab compound. Party keen to rob compound of weapons and lab gear.Over a hundred zombies destroyed.

On the news stories of outbreaks world wide and cities closing gates to the wasteland to quarantine. World just became even more fucked up....

Roadwar2000 Gentech Supply Catalogue pt1

Starting to compile equipment lists for my players to waste cash on - will do weapons and car stuff later. This is just to get going. Will revise a bit. This a mix of top secret/si, FREElancers, car wars, brp, cyberworld, cyberpunk.

1d12 Second Hand Goods Table
1 Break first use - defective
2 Breaks 1d4 weeks or uses - warranty just expired
3 Noisy, flimsy, needs to be whacked a few times
4 Shop soiled or only used by old lady on weekends, seems ok
5 Bootleg inferior copy knock off crap
6 Old model spare parts cheap and common
7 Contaminated by biotoxins
8 Contaminated Radioactive
9 Stolen goods on police files
10 Stolen goods owner wants back
11 Stolen goods or bugged or tagged by real owner
12 Improved custom modification

Living Costs
Weekly
$50 Cube Hotel and vending machines and public transport
$100 Flophouse room in dangerous area
$200 Cheap Flat 1d4+2 rooms in low risk area
$500 Secure apartment in complex in secure area

Groceries
$1 Soda can or soychoc bar or 1L decontaminated water
$2 Dole yeast or algae supplement in tin
$5 Soylent green burger or 600ml springwater or can of beer
$20 Cheap distilled fuel grad grog 1L
$50 Top shelf imported grog 1L
$50 Real food in city (1/2 price in wasteland but 10% contaminated)
$1 Water purification Tab
$5 Decontamination pill

Hotel outside controlled district
$5 Cube hotel 30% available
$10 Church charity bed (bribe) 10% chance available
$20 Sleazy flophouse 50% available
$30 Good motel with toast breakfast 20% available

Hotel in controlled district
$15 Cube hotel 60% available
$30 Motel 50% available
$45 Good Hotel
$90 Classy Suite in Hotel
$300 VIP Suite in international hotel

Recharge Vehicle - electric cars
Bike $10
Economy Car $15
Car $25
Truck $50
Solar Cells recharge 10% fuel per day in sun x100 5% of available space

Biofuel
Bike $25
Economy Car $40
Car $75
Truck $200
Biofuel Recycling Plant x100 turn roadkill or organic into fuel 10% of available space

Travel Costs
100 per state by cheap bus
200 per state by underground bullet train but limited connections
300 per state by airship
1000 per state by luxury jet or airship with own cabin

Electronics Store
$100 2kg Walkitalkie 10km range
$100 Headset radio kit 1km
$10 AMFM Pocket Radio
$15 AMFM Radio
$30 2kg Cassette Player
$100 CD Player
$100 Walkman Cassette
$200 Betamax VCR
$400 Multi Disc Player
$1000 Video Disc Player
$2000 8-Track tape deck
$10 000 4kg Digital Media Player
$20 2kg 6" Monitor
$100 4kg 14" Monitor
$200 8kg 21" Monitor
$1000 12kg 32" Monitor
$2000 20kg 48" Monitor
$10000 40kg 64" Monitor
$100 1kg Basic Security Camera B&W
$100 1kg Still camera (20 shots on a 3.5 floppy)
$1000 2kg Press digital camera with 1 meg HD
$1000 .5 Spy camera (20 shots)
$1000 2kg Handycam
$2000 5kg IR Digital camera
$40 000 12kg Press digital camera
$50 4kg Speaker System
$500 12kg Mega Base Amp
$1000 40kg Bleeding Ear Cinematic Amp system
$2 Blank 90min Tape
$2 Blank cd
$2 Beta Blank video tape
$10 Album Music
$20 Movie betamax tape
$4 Blank betamax
$1 3.5 Floppy disc
$40 Laser disc movie
$5 Cassingle
$100 8-track album cassette
$1000 8kg Portable Computer 10Meg HD PC
$100 CB Radio
$300 Multiband radio
$100 1kg Mobile Phone works in cities terrible connections and rates outside
$10 000 12kg Satellite uplink and credit transaction in a case
$30 000 2kg Satellite  phone
$10 000 4kg Digital Media Player
$10 000 8kg Gentech Nova laptop 1Gig HD PC
$30 000 12kg Army surplus combat cyberdeck
$100 000 6kg Aelita aerospace satellite deck
$1000 1kg Security system kit
$100 Concealed mike
$6500 8kg Voice Stress Analyzer
$500 3kg Parabolic Mike
$50 2kg Bullhorn
$1000 Laser mike
$100 2kg basic metal detector
$1500 10kg 1k range 3k underwater
$2500 3kg Radar microphone 2km range
$2000 5kg Fingerprint Scanner
$1000 2kg Giegercounter
$4000 8kg Retinal Scanner
$18000 3kg Transistor detector
$900 10kg Transmitter locator antenna
$9000 2kg Compact transmitter detector 1m range
$400 Scrambler 1kg need one each end
$100 1kg Line Tap detector
$25 000 10kg Line Tap Analyser
$300 1kg Voice Mask
$30 000 40kg Bomb Detector
$10 000 30kg Narcotic detector
$100 1kg Radar detector
$1200 6kg Gas Detector
$50 Smoke Alarm
$1000 Universal remote control kit - control multiple drones
$1000 Apple Newton tablet 20meg HD

Medical Supplies
$20 .5kg First Aid Kit
$100 2kg First Aid Kit
$500 8kg Paramedic Kit
$2000 20kg Field Surgeon Kit
$100 0000 100kg Surgical Suite
$1000 000 800kg Auto surgeon
$100 Truth Drug dose
$5 Extra tar lo filter cigarettes 24mg
$250 Dermal Stapler - faster than stitching wounds
$200 Microsponge injector - stops bleeding
$100 Universal anti toxin dose
$100 Ultracillen anti infection dose
$100 Pneumatic auto injector
$100 Medi slap-patch heals 1hp
$1000 Can of plasti flesh bandage heals 1d3 6 doses
$1000 Advanced trauma pack heals 1d4

Body Armour and Combat Accessories Shop
$20 Safetey Specs
$100 Armoured Goggles
$1000 Unbreakable Mirror Shades
$750 5kg Soviet low light goggles 20min battery slightly radioactive
$2000 4kg low light goggles 10min battery
$40 1kg Gas Mask
$200 4kg Air Mask
$100 3kg Driving Body Suit 2AP
$1000 4kg 3/5AP kevlar body suit melee/bullet
$2000 6kg Ballistic Suit Suit 6AP
$1000 4kg Fireproof Suit 10AP ablative vs fire only
$100 3kg Ablative crash helmet 10AP
$450 5kg Riot Helmet with gasmask, radio, megaphone, 12 AP
$2000 12kg Flack Suit 12AP
$2000 20kg Polycarbonate & titanium 20AP
$5000 6kg Stealth suit - lo IR sig 2hr 4pt armour
$100 5kg Riot Shield - many with gun port 12AP
$450 Riot Helmet with gasmask, radio, megaphone, 12 AP
$300 5kg Parachute

$400 Laser Targeting Scope
$10 000 Stuttershot targeting scope - won't hit las painted target or transponder carrying
$1000  Low light Scope
$100 Telescopic Scope x4
$1000 Telescopic sight x10
$10 000 Advanced Scope
$100 Flash Suppressor kit
$400 Silencer kit
$1000 smartgun adaptor kit
$2500 Cyber manacle
$25 Handcuffs
$10 Box of extra strong cable ties
$400 22kg Scuba gear
$200 6kg car trap - folds out to block 2 lanes with tire piercing spikes
$400 Gun cam - photographs each shot
$100 Gun trigger lock
$1000 Fingerprint gun lock
$1000 Electronic firing mechanism (linked to neural jack)
$150 Laser designation for painting targets

Tool Kits
$40 Cheap Lockpicks
$200 Expert Lock picks
$300 Lockpick gun
$300 Electronic lockpicks
$200 2kg Mini Tool Kit for belt
$600 20kg Tool kit
$4000 1000kg Portable workshop
$100 Pocket Multitool
$100 12kg Cutting Torch $10 for refuel 10min cut 30cm per min in 1cm plate metal
$300 6kg Telescopic ladder
$50 3l fire extinguisher
$10 Holster
$30 Webbing vest
$50 Armoured utility belt
$15 Dynamite per stick
$10 300m fusing cord
$250 .5 Plastique
$10 Timed detonator
$50 2kg Plunger detonator
$75 Remote detonator
$200 .5 Thermite bomb
$10 Box of extra strong cable ties

Dodgy Dealers
$75 one litre radar proof paint
10-30% Counterfeit cash or credit card
$200 Radioactive trace powder kit 2d20x100 metre trail

New DnD Start Game: New Jack Kobold Killers

After a two week break and new players starting my Exile Island game from 1st level. One player hates the 3 character funnel tricknique of DCC so inspired by UrHadad zine I started players as povo 16 year old (equivalent) street scum of Schadelport with leather, a weapon or two and some meals worth of food and 1d6 gp they have made since becoming a 1st level being. Will focus on the city and use to document more of it at least as well as I have done with redlight district plus encounter tables and print whole map huge. Correct scale too. Been reading history of vice in London a great inspiration.

The gang (players all trying to be good for a novelty):

A warrior lad who was muscle of gang who met in a squat. As youth was a muscular porter lad who dreamed of horses and wondered if he was really descent of a knight of the Empire. Strong but learned to be more like a ranger who can track or thief but for smash and grab. Fights two handed style. Still working out his moral code but likes intimidating and smashing.

His friend who has become a bard who has a nanny goat familiar and uses arcane book learned magic. She plays a lute, sings and makes enemies fall asleep. Keen to make it out of the redlight district and sleazy male dominated redlight district without being a whore. She is very moral but more pagan fertility moral. Is most streetwise. Prefers to shoot with small bow into fights and easily to move with and carry on belt.

They met in a squat two friends from elfland who had run to humanland for a novelty after a hundred years of conformity.

The elf was a commoner wood elf with druidic spells and a bow master. Excelled at shooting into a fight with composite elf bow. Has a burned hand (player add on) and is shunned as a troublemaker at home. Is a thieving pickpocket and skilled interrogator and vocal mimic. Is very fast when fleeing or dodging traps. Has a snake familiar named Parsley now nicknamed the snake-e-scope.

The other was a changeling of angelic decent who could become a winged magical being. Shy of showing anyone and did not use. She is most straight and uses priest like spells (as a sorcerer can choose spell when cast but limited choice). So she took healing. Also uses her slap cantrip to punish sleazes. Has many exotic skills including tumbling to reduce falling damage, sense evil, critical hits as well as a bow expert but not willing to shoot into melee (yet). Has special social skill of moralizing and can make people feel bad and guilty. Lots of exotic languages.

So lads and ladies were in squat house after a night binging when six orcs with halberds, a halfling and a man in red leather. Scared was slum landlords like last characters they bolted. Bard peeked through slats of wood in floor and decided to bolt. Changeling dived out window gracefully then tried to vault back yard wall and ended up stunned on top of wall. Almost a cool move. Warrior shouldered the rusted old rear gate long sealed and rest followed him, the elf overtaking him.

Warrior abused orcs and four gave chase. Split them with mimic voice and Bard sent remaining two to sleep. Took their polarms (2d4), daggers and bags. Got a few gold coins and orcs were well to do ones. One had a plush manticore he was giving to son after shift but elf tore it up and searched stuffing for secret. He felt a bit bad.

Kept on moving and left the farmers redlight district the biggest and nastiest one. Went to merc one and a bit wary. Merchant one to watched so  tried wizard student redlight area.

Spotty teen wizard wannabe potters everywhere. Found a bar horned basilisk and went in. Inside crowd was betting on how long animals lasted against cockatrice. Also had a room displaying garden ornaments. Wizards tried pick up lines and a guy asked if Elf wanted to have a familiar battle. His snake was confident but he would not allow it. Talked and offered bad deals like catch us a cockatrice hen for 1000gp. Party walked. Wizards are jerks.

Went to look for work in holy roller vice strip and after a few duds tried templar job. Brother Mortidus wanted to find out why farm animals disappearing from farms and wanted a recon report that might spur the Templar's to investigate. Porridge and a night of of resting in stables gave them a rest. Old monk in stables had scraps of written posters and pamphlets he was burning. One poster had a yellow sigh the Elf recognised then threw in fire promptly. Old man pulling them down every day in area.

Mortidus led them for three hour march after early rise. Found village of 7 shacks, a pub and collective barn. Was a far older pre human stone well with remnants of languages and a modern shadoof.

Went into pub with farmers mostly. Had livestock in bar and stable and were feeding animals by stripping forest for livestock food. Party impressed locals with young spunk and performing musical numbers together. Offered beer and board if they can stop monsters in territory. Heard of about local issues and disappearance of first name basis farm animal pals.

Warrior found kobold tracks near well and climbed down. Party joined him and found a 4 foot high red painted fresh door set in side of well. Changeling knocked. Kobold asked who is there. Party tried to sweet talk in but kobold suspicious they were adventurers and went to get his mates. Warrior barged through and took on kobolds while bard cast sleep on them. Tied six up and sent to surface. Found a few rooms carved in earth with straw mats and a missing sheep. Also a long root filled tunnel heading under the forest. Ten minutes down passage found another little red door into a redbrick kobold dungeon with erratic maze of passages as if kobolds a bit crazier than normal. Managed to beat several groups easily. Tried to trick them with mimicked voices but elf had to get words from bard and process flawed. Eventually kobolds got sneaky using archers and shortsword wielders to guard them. Kobolds wearing more clothing and had better tools. Overheard talk from kobolds plan to fetch pets (bard was best listener and spoke kobold luckily). As party went back faced ambushes and more archers but they punched through and fled back to farm. Warrior hurt most and then elf but the changeling a competent healer.

Were paid and got lots of arrows, six shortswords and some digging tools from dungeon. Villagers pleased and able to respond to identified threat and invited party to stay. Old priest was keen to get Templars interested.

Back in town party went to titles office and took out a dungeon claim allowing them to legally defend from other adventurers with profits. They sold loot and went to pub.

All pleased with efforts and richest they had ever been with good prospects. Armour probably high on list to buy.

Good to get back to basics and to focus on city living and dungeons. Amused party all being good and hesitating to kill.

d100 Dungon Stuff

So revising my redbrick book draft about 75 pages. Since I finished original draft 18 months ago I have trained myself to spit out bigger better tables. I was just working towards mostly doing d100 so I am expanding a few tables full to d100. I have a few big tables and some section intros to write too.

Expanding use into more dangerous depths for mid and higher level play so some extra bosses, elites, monster tables and treasure tables. But I hope to get readers proof for most out within fortnight.

Am amalgamating old and new tables for 3rd version in some cases. Contemplating changing one set of tables to make actual rolling process more fun (is that a good thing?)

This is one table to be revised as i forgot i had done it and want to amalgamate with mystery dungeon fluid tables.

One thing a dungeon cannot have too many of is a barrels! In dungeon theme pc games they are a standard thing to smash open. So here they are!

D10 is for common barrels and d100 for more unusual ones or more specific ones

1d10 Quick Dungeon Barrel
1 Corpse d4 1=unrecognizable rancid stinky mess 2=monster 3=humanoid 4=adventurer
2 Building materials like nails, lime, gravel, tar, sand
3 Old weapons and armour
4 Garbage, rotten food,
5 Trap like gas, explosive, darts
6 Critters (bats, rats, stirges, flumph, bees)
7 Wine or beer 1in10 still drinkable
8 Sewerage, used as toilet or just collection for dung
9 Foodstuff d4 1=hard biscuits or jerky 2=flour 3=beans 4=dried mushrooms
10 Water for drinking

1d100 Weird Dungeon Barrels
1 Prisoner 1d4 1=child 2=adventurer 3=villager 4=thief
2 Adventurer corpse 1in6 a zombie
3 Humanoid or demi human corpse 1in6 a zombie
4 Monster corpse
5 Skeleton ready to attack
6 Kobolds with poison darts
7 Goblin with a crossbow
8 Mummified human corpse with journal or map
9 Humanoid very grateful offers to serve kind masters
10 Scared flumph ready to attack after months of ill treatment
11 Preserved chunks of troll flesh in brine, if removed start to grow
12 1d6 sad monkeys, very hungry
13 3d20 bats will aggressively swarm, carry disease
14 Wasp swarm will attack any who open for 1d6 rounds
15 Giant leech in water
16 Dead body in leather, infected with dungeon threadworms
17 Flea covered corpse will swarm over party if opened
18 Aggressive snake ready to strike and a corpse
19 3d6 Gremlins loose, some scuttle. some decoys, some climb into backpacks
20 Drunken hobgoblin or orc in bad mood
21 A shadow rises from corpse inside
22 Doppelganger will adopt a pleasing form to join party
23 Barrel is a mimic
24 Carrion crawler stuffed inside
25 Ghoul inside
26 Bundles of leather armour
26 Theif corpse with tools, weapons and loot
27 Bundle of various short swords, maces, hand axes
28 Bundle of rusty old swords, a few in good condition
29 Boots of various sized
30 Helmets of various sizes
31 Horseshoes
32 Onions or garlic
33 Beans
34 Grain
35 Flour
36 Stale bread
37 Wax coated old cheeses
38 Empty wine bottles
39 Cleric with chain, mace, holy symbol and holy water
40 Iron rations a bit mouldy
41 Lanterns and 1d4 bottles of oil
42 Candles
43 Tin and wooden plates, bowls, cups, spoons
44 Bundles of coarse cloth
45 Old sacks
46 Lard
47 Honey and beeswax
48 Straw
49 Turnips
50 Apples
51 Salted fish
52 Iron spikes
53 Rope bundles
54 Fire wood
55 Monster dung
56 Rancid sewerage
57 Salt
58 Nails
59 Wizard body with robes, hat, hands cut off, exotic spell ingredients and a potion
60 Clay tokens
61 Monster teeth
62 Ears, various species
63 Old gunpowder
64 Wood working tools
65 Iron working tools
66 Rusty old tools
67 Paint
68 Giant jumping rat
69 Giant fly or mosquito
70 Swarm of angry rats
71 2d6 stirges
72 Explosive trap
73 Poison gas trap
74 Alarm that attracts monsters
75 Flaming oil explosion
76 Spoke bomb, burns with chocking black sooty smoke for minutes
77 Irritant gas, burns eyes and throat
78 Stink musk trap, resist or vomit and carry odour for days
79 An adorable puppy, piglet or kitten
80 Commoner or peasant clothing 
81 Fancy noble or fancy dress clothing
82 Feathers
83 Bundles of wool
84 Animal bones
85 Hundreds of mice scurry out leaving some spoiled grain
86 Cloud of spores, full of mould and fungus
87 Cheap trinkets from a cult
88 Brushes from a dead salesman
89 Mouldy old books in terrible condition
90 Broken glass and ceramic chunks
91 Rags and scraps of cloth
92 Scraps of broken old metal goods and wire
93 Tar
94 Malt for brewing
95 Fermenting grog not ready yet
96 Goblin or kobold child
97 Ritual robes and face paint
98 Broken chunks of ancient statues to be smashed for lime
99 House paint
100 Chalk

As I have two tables final will have typical strange and possible extra category

Things I have learned from friends Fighting Fantasy games as player:
Dungeon inhabitants are like a form of crime syndicate or secret society with ranks, apprentices, gang signs, drinking sessions, business and more. Some onsters start menial trap scrapers or trap setters or patrols or guards. Work way up to getting own level or dungeon for profit and gang status. His is quite detailed but i like idea.

Also considered:
Writing some mythology for monsters living in dungeon with symbol and gods of dungeony things. Extra handy for sentient or ancient dawn age dungeons. Dungeon cult secrets. How the barrel goddess made the things to build the universe. A lamp god. A trap god. A chest god. A gate god. God of bars and chains. Or at least children of the dungeon goddess.

Buying some art for book illustration:

d100 Pubs on Planet Psychon

Pubs in every citadel trade quarter at least. In wilds many are trading posts and whore houses and general stores. Pubs on the highways, ports, and trade routes connecting every drunk to the world wide web of vice and cheap thrills. Well that's the dream anyway. Many village size community has one.

Several approaches here:

Take a band from 70s or 80s look and album covers and that's your bar. Plus more freaks.

or start your dice...

roll 1d4 stars for quality for venue over all or for very service separately

village pub 1d3-1 roll on each
town pub 1d3 rolls on each
city bar 1d4 rolls of each

d12 Special Entertainment
1 Incredibly attractive staff
2 Exotic dancers of many flavours, special review show of stripper circus freaks and beast men
3 Stage with open mike, free drinks to player if they keep a crowd, possibly a karaoke-borg
4 Philosophical debate where local philosophers discuss some amazing issue
5 Games night d4 1=3D Chess 2=Cards 3=Russian roulette 4=video game
6 Video feed or drive in d6 1=ancients 2=cult 3=a citadel 4=space 5=underground 6=dimension x
7 Animal night byo pet d4 1=fighting 2=racing 3=cooking 4= 5=dogs 6=mutant homunculus
8 Fighting d4 1=nightly patron brawls 2=press gang 3=men's 4=women's 5=dueling 6=wrestling
9 skill Contests d6 1=target 2=muscle 3=eat 4=drink 5=picking random numbers 6=music
10 Magician d4 1=illusions 2=gothic 3=flashy 4=mentalist
11 Sing along and dancing with house band a party of adventurers, possibly cool jerks
12 Celebrity d6 1=ex courtier 2=artist 3=adventurer 4=sage or scholar 5=criminal 6=harlot/rake

12 dining experiences
1 Fabulous ration pack of the ancients UN food aid
2 Delightful gruel been cooking away fer three generations
3 Bunker burger and rabble rat-dogs with rubble runner dinner deals for kids
4 Soylent green bread or pasta or noodles from our own kitchen, come see for yourself
5 Sausage and mash and gravy d4 1=recycled human waste 2=animal 3=only a bit human 4=soyadog
6 Pizza from 3d food printer to best from mutant town with sausage, many kinds
7 Preserved treats from ancients d4 1=medical museum 2=canned 3=grandmas pickles 4=salted
8 Insect protein biscuit or algae-bar or mushroom burger
9 Specialty of the house pie
10 Mystery kill of the day
11 Bizarre local specialty
12 Variety menu try to please all

drinking experiences
1 Local beer
2 Juice bar
3 Cafe
4 Cocktail bar
5 Milk bar
6 Soup bar
7 Ambrosia from d4 1=insects milk 2=rare fruits 3=gods 4=from a creature plumbed into bar
8 Teahouse
9 Fermented milk or yogurt
10 Wine bar
11 Distilled fuel grade grog
12 Drink replicator or vending machine

Other services
1 Travel agent
2 Job service
3 Black Market
4 Weapons and armour
5 Supplies
6 Stables and livestock
7 School for fighting or other lore
8 Slaves
9 Prostitutes
10 Healing
11 Fortune teller
12 Inn

dodgy experiences
1 Thieves try and rob you in person or rooms
2 Appealing prostitute d6 1=crazy person 2=robber 3=date n drug 4=cultist 5=spy 6=plague
3 Parasitic infection of some horrible sort
4 Mind controlled or duplicated or mistaken identity
5 Offered dodgy deal for the common man
6  Offered secret plans or maps
7 Stalked by pervert
8 Surrounded by cultists
9 Pressgang kidnap you
10 Brawl breaks out
11 Someone following you d4 1=Bounty hunter 2=assassin 3=lover 4=
12 Someone killed with d4 1=strange powers 2=ancient tech 3=monster 4=shape shifter

d100
1 Live pornographic theater restaurant with a olden days theme
2 Automated takeaway franchise served by androids improvising with ingredients
3 A bar crawling with dungeon miscreants having a break from eating adventurers
4 A bar with cyborg and mutant bounty hunters waiting for next job
5 A bar with silent patrons who stare at strangers, actually are all pod plant people
6 A pub frequented by shapshifters who prey on newcomers for fun
7 Barman reputed to have amazing kitchen actually a starship food printer
8 A goblinoids pub with mostly smaller kobolds and goblins, dark and cramped
9 Odd replicant family 9 operate and are replaced every 4 years by distant AI with vat
10 Octopoids run bar with exotic dancing eldren, descendants of a crashed starship crew
11 Pub has creepy arms and drug dealers and mercenaries openly showing merchandise
12 Bar full of amphibian beastmen abhumans offering strange but popular fermented invertebrates
13 Fruity drinks served by friendly beastmen with house band playing 80s electro pop
14 Bar with many robots and androids heavily into death metal and down on humans
15 Punk rock wastelandrs with everything salvaged from vehicle wrecks, robot cook
16 Bedazzled with LED gems gang of cowboys run bar as cover for brutal crimes
17 Goth necromancr bar low low prices due to staff being undead
18 Anti gravity bar served by gaseous life form with food replicator and octopus band
19 Intelligent animals gather here to discuss if humanity must be destroyed or worked with
20 Grey aliens serving unpleasant dishes from home, grey and white paste, maggots, odd fluids, etc
21 Hopeless and pathetic mutants try best to please customers, clumsy and bits of them drop off
22 Cult of the blood god operate this place to murder everyone they get the chance too
23 Inside a giant snail shell, a caterpillar bartender with racks of strange herbs and hookas
24 Pleasure androids in a semi buried cargo transport hold operate bar bed breakfast and brothel
25 Organic alien spoor grew and was enslaved by locals to produce food and grog, bar inside it
26 Inside a huge tree with furry critters, little hairy folk and eldren with unicorn beastman barkeep
27 A pink and blue sweet and cake theme bar with everything sweet run by madman and munchkins
28 Barkeep is psionic and predicts your drink orders, offers to buy and sell dreams as drinks
29 Vampires run clean but dark bar and tolerate others if obey, can pay fees in gold or blood
30 This bar has genetically modified cow beast women with amphetamine milk shakes
31 Mean children run this bar and sneer at the feeble adults addicted to local potions
32 A mutant has dreamed all his life of opening a bar, luckily his family are competent and help him
33 Old Dame runs this according to complex codes of ancient manners but high quality posh joint
34 Androids from ancient theme park run and perform while guests eat, terribly kitch
35 Great stone cave with reptile man barkeep amid skeletal remains of giant dinosaurs
36 Caveman bar drinking out of hollow log with fermented berries and honey and shrooms
37 Former bloodthirsty temple to alien god, now operating as a local tavern, great theme decor
38 Crystal cave with psionic sentient crystal pillars, will beverages and comforts into being
39 Ice cave bar with intelligent penguins, wendigo, mammoth beast men and cavemen
40 Traveling freak show broke down and set up this bar of fraks from far flung places
41 Fleshy glowing cavern with golden barkeeps who serve the great eye of the biological starship
42 Baroque palace with effete dandies sneering at riff raff aloud in here, all killer duelists
43 Built over crater with bar part of crashed alien cylinder, owner is a octopoid retired soldier
44 Ruined hole operated by crazy old monk, tries to seduce women with psionics
45 Bunker foyer littered with artifacts of ancients on display turned into a theme tavern
46 Ancient bar where cultists serve you while reciting deeds of mighty celebrities of the ancients
47 Psychedelic bar with weird light shows, lava lamps, drugs and mostly mellow crowd
48 Wild west saloon theme bar with android gunfighter who kills anyone with a big ego
49 Former corporate bunker, manager keeps secret hidden tribe of corporate goon clones in vault
50 Fake beach resort with meat on grill, friendly slaves and breadfruit, no canibalism here for years
51 Run by family of giant crabs, limpid rock pools with sea creatures scattered around grotto
52 Bugbear gangsters run this bootleg moonshine bar and organise crimes dressed in pin strip suits
53 Strange silent glitter skinned men in bowler hats run, occasionally giant fly buzzes around bar
54 Cat men and human-cat wannabees serve, all floors and surfaces carpeted, customers sit in boxes
55 Jolly Pig men wallow in pits of rotten food, garbage and mud, get young piglet followers here
56 Vegetarian alcohol free health bar run by naked cultists, shrooms and bongs are free
57 Appears as humble inn with good restaurant, actually all staff are assassins in training
58 Morlocks run bar and have some fresh and frozen eloi for the right price, tempted by eldren guests
59 Eldren tavern where all service painfully slow and ritualized but high quality
60 A dark cellar where beastmen bands play around the clock rock for "cavern creeps"
61 Haunted house theme managed by freaks, monsters and golem house servants
62 Creepy overly sexualized bar with gimps, glory holes and tired sex workers of every persuation
63 A boiler room of ancients clad in riveted metal, live butchery of any ordered meals or non payers
64 A angelic eldren maiden sleeps in crystal sarcophagi, now used as novelty saloon bar counter
65 Local bar for local people - will dream up 1d4+1 prejudices on the spot to exclude your party
66 Bubbling geothermal heated grotto with healing spring, prostitutes and strange exotic drinks
67 Tavern run by witches with potions and other services, curse or transform any rude guests
68 Orc bar with stone furniture, touchy beserk chef, serve prunes, dates, grubs, roots, meat and nuts
69 Friendly commoner bar with monsters in cages who's eggs are served as house dishes
70 Gambling mad bar with complementary mini sausages, spring rolls and cheap watery beer
71 Coffee bar where beatniks and mutants and punks perform poetry of varying standards
72 Comfy cheap quality inn but all night clog dancing gets a bit annoying
73 Run down bar full of drug addicts, plague carriers, broken needles and trash and corpses on floor
74 Rat men tavern surprisingly cleaner than you would expect, treading on patron tails starts fights
75 Gear head bar with morlocks and techies half finished machines and cogs everywhere
76 Sport bar, guests must compete in local games to be able to stay
77 Mushroom men bar, gloomy dark earthy pit with glowing fungi, mushroom burgers are fabulous
78 State run clean restaurant and rooms, serve recycled corpses and effluent for guests from locals
79 Gold chain wearing gang serve traditional ghetto meals, outraged will attack any disrespect
80 Bar where colourful costumed vigilante gang and comic book cult operate
81 Sombre grisly cold gulag themed inn with guards, razor wire, herring-barley gruel and vodka
82 Ancient confused patriot cult worship a pre apocalypse faction, with theme drinks, food and music
83 Bar overcrowded with homeless and refugees, serves soup and floorspace to sleep, full of thieves
84 Vintage hotel staffed by winged monkeys in bellhop outfits, very posh and baroque
85 Shabby dirty stone hut with beer served in horns and a spit roast every night no women
86 Hall with weapons and paintings of war on walls, staffed by amazons, men sleep in barn only
87 Strange bar with sultry costumed freaks, serve gender changing drinks and aphrodisiacs
88 Bar in cave with patrons dining and drinking amid coils of crystal dragon, lizard men serve
89 Organic bar with macroscopic entities serving food and drink from their orifices, locals dont mind
90 Bee men hive makes extra cash, serve honey and royal jelly and mead, waxy sleeping cells
91 Bar with crystalline furnishings, strange auroras and served by sentient shades of colour
92 Metal chimes and tetrahedrons furnished bar, eerie otherworldly sounds and free drugs
93 Ancient machine serves food and drink if you solve logic puzzles and answer personality tests
94 Gelatinous repulsive tentacled aliens try best to make things humans might like and make friends
95 Bar in huge cage full of millions of butterflies and flowers tended by eldren serving tea
96 Ancient inn served by ghosts who act like nothing is wrong and locals fine with that
97 Fleshy chamber with writhing mass of tentacles dribbling nutritious narcotic slime, all for free
98 Goblinoid run as bar and job centre for dungeon monsters with training centre
99 Huge fleshy mammalian creature with millions of breasts allows guests to feed and sleep
100 roll twice and combine results

Viking Interlude: Hrafns Own Funeral Plan

Steve who plays the Odinite werewolf beserker, put this on our group FB page:

After a weeks prayer in the temple of Odin, the grim warrior rises and gathers to his side, his family , a scribe and a legal official from the court of Norway. The dour man proceeds to proclaim ...

His death song and warchant :
Who dare face the StoneDale clan ?
Who ?!
We'll split their skulls and rend their hand !
Who ?!
Their bloody hearts our gods demand !
Who ?!
They'll breath their last in this here land !
HA !!

His dividing of earthly wealth and Will:
Wife : Superior Shield 14 armor - 10,000 pennys - 1,000 pennys worth gold chain - Arcane Device (FlareGun with 4 shells)- Magic Hyperborean Dagger - Two handed Sword - Superior Shield 12 armor (ornate) and of course her own dwelling, goods and lands. Furthermore the Chieftainship of the Norway branch of the Stonedale clan until the time where one of the bloodline is proven more worthy.
Eldest Son : 10,000 pennys.
Twin Brothers : Two trading ships.
Daughter : Warship.
Youngest Son : 6,000 pennys - Broadsword (ornate 1000 pennies worth) - Selfbow.
3 Adopted Sons : Under the leadership of the eldest - lands , house, thralls and all other goods of their mothers household split evenly between them.

and lastly his burial goods :
The Anklebiter Bastard Sword - Broadsword - Armor - wolfpelt helm and any gifts of worth his family , friends or others may wish him to have in the afterlife.
For it is not for a man to measure his own worth in death, but rather for the gods and those who have known him to decide.

Let it be known that the Wolfhelm beserker, brother of Alrec the Unruly is now legally dead. Though he still might draw breath and have the blush of life in his flesh, he now stays by the kindness and grace of his family and relatives, he is nothing more than a dead man walking. The living echo of a warrior that died the day he became Odin's champion and now bides his time till his earthly doom approach.

Vikinglog: Cheating and killing Cthulhu's Cult

So the vikings had travelled back in time and gone to backwoods to Rus and Novgarod to prepare themselves better than the three months left in their native time stream.

Thorhadr the skald had spoken to his god Tsathogua who warned him not to abuse time portal or the hounds of Tindolas would hunt them and destroy them body as soul as if the never were. But Tsathogua said friends wouldn't notice if he went through gate an extra time for two more years. So he spent time with reading blasphemous books and eat human flesh to retain his youth, The friends would never notice. And the hound thing risk minimised a fat bit. With Extra time he stole the book of Eibon from monks in France and was given the means to travel beyond the earth. He learnt more magic songs and his ability with them could teach and lead others who joined him. The marching song of endurance was most popular with others.

Most learnt magic of some kind. Thora taught her cousins all he spells there thick skulls could keep. Hrafn had been teaching each others to activate beast totem forms. He was always in his wolf helm, looking grim, Ready for doom ahead. He had taught his wolf sons to become humans and was teaching them to fight. Lots of werewolves in Rus. Enters battle a man then becomes something horrible in battle. An Odinite werewolf beserker.

His brother Alrec the Unruly was now convinced Al Aziv the Arabic Necronomican is the one and only book for all time and given him power over gods instead of letting gods pick at your fortune like flies. He was sure would ever be a champion of Thor in time so it was sorcery for him easily the choice, It was kind of strange he became so adept at Arabic since meeting Arab merchant when young.

Briedr having the pleasure of rebuilding a fortune, becoming more tattooed and learning to work with his battle goat companion sent by Thor to aid him. Remained in Rus for the moment.

Thora was pleased to have a daughter first child in years and first with this husband who had been good for so many years. Now she could spend time with him on his business trips to Rus that she had missed him by remaining in Iceland with her cousins and adventures. Cheating on herself with herself. Has been magically preparing herself for final fight.

Throa finally has a son why seemed odd and sickly at first but since thrived and fat and jolly. Her husband would be surprised when she returned home with a two year old son. Could make up some story about making him give girls good dowries. Working with metals and runes. Loon creepily suggested his new gifts from Loki to shape shift meant he was real father of child while he was in disguise. She knew if anything it was during her brief visit o land of the dark elves.

Yvette was hoping to gain some status with the Cult of Njordr the sea. Was striving to replicate her heroic husband that made her part of the Stonedales. Has a colony of friendly sealions in Rus.

So party returned changed and two years wiser (none knew Thorhadr now has a Cthulhu mythos beyond %50 now and was in fact 4 years wiser and a cannibal).

So assembled many ships with two warship of 50 men sworn to them. King of Norway sent one of his ships for years of work they had done for his wars. Other families who had prospered near them or been saved by them over the last 11 years came too. Eleven years adventuring that's 13 for most of party or 15 years for Thorhadr. It was all coming to an end soon. With six ships gathered and ready to sale heard how ally had died. Sailed to Iceland. Different stories heard of death but real one told by widow to party. Hero was dismembered in battle by mad cannibal men of Vinland, Party enraged set sail. Arrived though a storm and a ship missing lost all hands.

Five viking warships followed the shore. Saw three small ship trying to stay out or reach. Heroes ship went forward with one other, other three went back and around. Sure enough say three trying to lure into groug of three war ships and three smaller longships like the greatly missed Wavebiter they hap too leave in space. Heroes charged to wipe out small ships to find fish men attacked with three small ships. Bigger rebel fleet of cultists closed in, a mix of fish cultists and demon of darkness cultists and viking wendigo beserker cultists. So fishmen surprised they had attacked boldest of the fleet who all sung as they quickly shattered the surprise attack and the three boats. When the big group came with 300 men their formaion was broken between both groups of the heroes surviving force a total of 250. One viking ship sunk but most saved by kin. As apparent to all 0that party winning, cult on shore summoned a waterspout to strike the fleet. Breidr saw this with his far sight spirit spell then he called on his god Thor. A bolt of lightning struck the high priest exploding his charred body and driving off the cultists.

Vikings came ashore and saw mound with steaks around the multi cultist village. Led best towards fish cult on shore while other group attacked wall. Th fish men and viking with them proved weak. The heroes had superior weapons, armour, skill and magic. Fish men butchered on beach before summoning complete then led horde onto wall. Alrec jumped wall while rest hacked down with pole axes.

Inside saw other tribe and outlaw vikings fighting the second group of the heroes force that had gotten through the wall. Alrec saw something amid the breach, a whirling whilwind of destruction, a avatar of a dark god. Alrec lept over a wave of troops after his friends still behind him. Then he lept with the mighty sword into the battle.

Others following Alrec hacked their way on. Hrafn was now a were wolf, with his runes to Odin awakened. He swam into the battle like a salmon, killing everything and fearing nothing. He had gone beyond the berserks he cheered on as a boy. He was a monster of Odins fury, a beat fit for the end of the world. Alrec managed to strike the avatar of the demon of darkness down. He knew what it was and it was a reliability weak form. It did bite him but not by much. Superior armour won the day and the cult was destroyed. All cult were killed and burned with their diseased unwholesome livestock and crude hybrid style culture of Indian, Eskimo and Norse. Found a boy possesed by local spirits who told them where cult was based up river. Next morning visitors from outside tribes came and helped vikings destroy several more homesteads. These locals explained they all hated these tribes.

Went up into hills and found forest of flayed human skins in trees and piles of corpses. Slew them all including beserkers of Iquatha they had let escape years ago. Another Avatar of Nyarlathotep came but heroes had no fear with magic weapons slaughtered the cult queen in demon god form. Found body parts of their old friend and freed sacrifices. Burned everything.

The heroes declared that none would settle Vinland again for a hundred years. Or the Stonedales would come back to kill them.

Went past Greenland and exterminated the cultists there too. It was revenge on every enemy viking since their first battle.

Arrive in Iceland to prepare to sack the city of Cthulhu!