Monday 13 November 2023

d100 Things I Had To Do Growing up a Dwarf

This is a revival of an old d100 series

Dwarves love complaining about unfair things and suffering so here are some samples. You might get invited to a dwarf family dinner on a holy day where they will be sober and each dwarf recants the worst thing that ever happened to them or they saw. Some get competitive and boastful and drink is forbidden so nobody fights.

d10 Quick Dwarf Drama
1 Punishment
2 Orphaned
3 Imprisonment 
4 Lost
5 War
6 After the battle
7 Humiliation
In the deeps
9 Mastercraft
10 Fabulous Fights

d100 Things I Had To Do Growing up a Dwarf
01 Beaten with rods by fellow apprentices for petty reasons
02 Put in an iron cage and hung from the ceiling starving 
03 Chained to a wall for months and grew a few inches
04 Ran in a wheel for a crane or siege machine for months
05 Forced to run the gauntlet of a vast murder maze machine as a death sentence
06 Branded with a mark for being a d4 1=thief 2=traitor 3=slave 4=heretic
07 Thrown into the sea in a trunk but you were saved and survived 
08 Escaped prison after given death sentence for angering ruler
09 Kicked out of your clan for a dispute with the leader
10 Exiled from your home kingdom as a traitor
11 Parents were merchants who never returned from a trade trip
12 Parents were eaten by goblinoids overtaking an underground village
13 Dragon ate your whole family and stole the clan treasures
14 Parents were killed in a cave-in caused by burrowing gigantic monsters
15 Parents died waging war with rival dwarf kingdom
16 Parents were killed by a relative who claimed their wealth, you had to flee
17 Parents were killed when undead overran their underground citadel
18 Parents and family died of a terrible plague 
19 Hoarde of trolls carried away kin and ate them all 
20 Family feud resulted in kin-slayings and you were sent far away
21 Sent to work in a famous hellish prison mine to be silenced
22 Enslaved by goblins, when you escaped your home was destroyed 
23 Locked in a dungeon for years by an evil cult
24 Locked in human city prison for drunken tavern brawls when people mocked you
25 Trapped by villagers and made to work a smithy or other craft workshop
26 Kept imprisoned in an asylum for raging madness after some awful tragedy or curse
27 Kidnapped by slavers and taken to far away land which took years to escape
28 Imprisoned by cult to sacrifice but always chosen last when more attractive sacrifices available
29 Taken as a hostage and kept in a tower for years, and lost contact with family
30 Kept prisoner by a wizard demanding dwarf secrets 
31 Lost in deep caverns in complete darkness for years
32 Stranded on an island with monsters and strange tribes 
33 Lost in deep underground highways of ancient dwarf kingdom but finally found the surface
34 Lost in Giantland and had to hide from hungry giants and lived like a rat stealing food scraps 
35 Lost in Faerieland and had to live among talking animals and brownies until you got back
36 Carried away by a giant bird and dropped on a distant mountain years from home
37 Lost in a vast ruined dwarf city full of orcs and undead for months in a delirious fever
38 Lost in a vast goblin mine and had to hide constantly and even ate some goblin flesh to survive
39 Stranded in mountains separated from allies and had to avoid orcs and monsters for months
40 Wandered through mist to a strange haunted land and some force kept you there for years
41 Caught in a battlefield with goblins for years of awful conflict
42 Clan vs clan warfare wiped out both dwarf peoples and only you survived
43 Survived a terrible Underland war and fled to the surface to escape destruction
44 Were terribly wounded in battle and comrades all massacred while you recovered
45 Unable to save a famous leader in battle and ridden by guilt you couldn't save them
46 Was sent to recover a banner in battle and while searching your army was destroyed
47 During a battle there was a great cataclysm destroying both armies
48 A traitor you knew betrayed your leaders who were all slaughtered in battle
49 A vast horde of chaos-tainted humanoids, mutants and beast folk overran your kingdom's fortifications ending its history 
50 Your clan waged war on humans for stealing secrets of metallurgy, crossbows and gunpowder but the humans bred faster and won the war
51 Had to decapitate 100 goblin prisoners and survivors remember your name
52 Trapped in a siege but plague came killing most people and driving away the enemy too
53 The War ended when both sides starving and the region was gripped by famine that killed even the mightiest warriors
54 After the war an evil necromancer came and rose the dead. This new army decimated the survivors on both sides
55 Spent years rebuilding community and searching for survivors after a terrible war
56 After a terrible war the kingdom and clan were left broke and had to sell their relics
57 Since a great war all your clan have been stalked and killed by old enemies
58 After the war you were mad with grief and lived as a hermit for years
59 Led wounded refugees after a war into the human kingdom to live lives of squalor
60 Led tired war refugees through strange caverns of the underland wandering aimlessly for years
61 Sworn enemy killed family and dared you to stop them
62 Goblins cut off your beard and ran away it and you would like to punish them
63 Famous bard wrote a humorous song about you still sung today in taverns 
64 Fell off a goat and rolled down a hill in front of the king
65 After a great victory carried by a crowd on a shield the moment was ruined by violent diarrhoea
66 Discovered your clan all married to their cousins but must keep it secret
67 Clan prone to madness and deranged episodes
68 Arrived late to a battle and was given an embarrassing nickname
69 Had an affair with a clan traitor who used you to get close to their real target
70 Charmed by elves and dryads who made you live as their jester
71 Discovered a fabulous mine in the deep but had to flee as full of goblins
72 Explored several vast cave systems with fungus forests and ancient ruins
73 Found the ancient tomb of a clan leader but had to flee trolls in area
74 Found an elemental portal in the deep with strange elemental creatures guarding it
75 Found a lost dwarf city under a mountain chain occupied by orcs. goblins and undead
76 Discovered a cavern entrance to the underworld and the river of the dead but retreated
77 Discovered an ancient cavern of sleeping titans under a spell from the gods
78 Located a passage to the dragon spawn pits of the Underland and lost all your friends
79 Discovered in the deep roots of the world tree where vile black dragons chew the roots to kill the universe, the span of Nidhog and Hydra
80 Found a vast underland cavern with many kingdoms and strange terrain types. Whole kingdoms here were smothered when the gods dropped a mountain on this wicked land aeons ago 
81 Worked in the forge of a famous master smith when they made a famous magic item
82 Spent years gathering meteoric steel fallen from the stars for a magic item to be made
83 Stole the gems from the idol of a goblin god now that clan hate you with fanaticism
84 Spent years on a fruitless quest to recover a clan relic, while you were gone your civilisation moved away
85 Worked on the great hidden mountain gate of a dwarf nation then you were accidentally sealed outside
86 Helped build a fabulous machine to improve production in a refinery and goblins burned it down
87 Saw a famous dwarf hero battling a monster fall into a deep underground pit with their famous weapon with them
88 Saw orc hero murder your kinfolk with a famous orc weapon associated with one of their gods
90 Took a wound from a supernatural weapon wielded by the dead and only a dedicated healer helped you survive with a miracle effort
91 Chased from a famous crystal mine by strange creatures from the elemental planes
92 Saw the fall of a troll tusked titan with its vast ivory weapons. You even met the great dwarf hero who did it
93 Helped to hold the great gate from a horde of d4 1=undead 2=orcs 3=trolls 4=evil dwarves
94 Escaped a vast underland battle smothered in collapse of a vast cavern kindom
95 Saw the mighty titan-golem Uluk-Ghan slay thousands before orcs got inside and killed the crew and burned it from within
96 Had to flee a mighty city as a youth and defend the refugees while the mature warriors were slaughtered in a delaying attack on enemy d4 1=orcs 2=dragons 3=undead 4=dark elves
97 Saw thousands of dwarf prisoners decapitated by an evil human warlord as an act of betrayal and had to hide and do nothing to report the crime
98 Were at a famous battle where another species betrayed them d4 1=humans 2=elves 3=now evil dwarf clan 4=beast folk
99 Were in a famous last battle with giants where the sun was blotted out by the forest of them 
100 Saw great battle with chaos where gods battled in the sky overhead and spent months hunting chaos fiends after that fled the battle


  1. LOL, this is brilliant! I'll check the others too, but dwarves are my favorite.


I love and welcome feedback but not spambots
Good feedback and suggestions inspire me to write more