Saturday 18 November 2023

Make the Underland Kinky Again 2: Svartheim Encounters



Underland Encounters for the dark elf city of Svartheim. 
These are common encounters but city districts have their own encounters and character.
Will be a carousing table and maybe a d100 shops or an A-Z

Obviously not for innocent adventurers who best go home.

d12 Common Svartheim Street Vendors
1 Spiced beetle on a stick 2cp some fancy versions with gold and silver leaf
2 Hot buttered maggots 2cp wiggle all the away
3 Worms in aspic 2cp in a mushroom cap 
4 Marinaded mushroom kebabs 4cp with beetle or mushroom sauce
5 Flat Teast Bread 1cp causes melancholia and pale skin if eaten daily for a week
6 Pickled cave onions 2cp 
7 Lamprey stew 1sp
8 Baby goblin pie 1sp well done or uncooked with black sauce or pea soup
9 Cave nettle soup 1cp quite tasty and nutritious BYO bowl or cup 
10 Cave hog foot 6cp with mushroom gravy
11 Lotus Tea from a silver samovar on a cart 1sp only mildly addictive
12 Goblin brains 2cp stewed or 1sp for fresh living goblin tied to special table to remove top of head and the goblin complains the whole time

d12 Common Buskers in Svartheim
1 Dark elf with lute sings of drugs and orgies and stabbing a former friends
2 Goblins playing bongo drums smoking swamp weed
3 Goblin jester juggling baby goblins and hatchets and burning torches
4 Goblin stabs self for money or invites ppl to stab him and bet they can hurt him (secretly a nilbog and is healed by normal weapons)
5 Bugbear stall where you throw a shrunken head at an erotic goblin fertility idol, 3 goes for 1cp if you can get AC+10 you win a giant hornworm
6 Were rat with amazing rat circus on a cart 
7 Dark elf erotic dancer of indeterminate gender but very pretty
8 Goblin pole dancers slink around on lamp posts in glittery silk g-strings   
9 Kiss my succubus in this tent 1pp d4 1=what it says 2=actually it is a wight with an illusion 3=oops its a medusa 4=really hungry doppelgangers
10 Wretched human magican lost down here doing tricks for food, has become scatty and deranged
11 Goblin jester singing songs about flatulence, VD, diarrhoea and growing up in a brothel
12 Dark elf bard with harpsicord with live squealing kittens inside to make so called music

d20 Common Svartheim Vice on Streets
1 Drug den where children help keep smokers unconscious on black lotus
2 Dealer on street in long coat offering drugs, poison and stolen magic items
3 Sex workers call from an alley offering cheap quick thrills
4 Bar where strange wines with venomous animals in bottles for sale with alchemical brews and common narcotics in drink forms. Some drinks are made from juiced live animals
5 Brothel with performers in window invite travellers inside for sex drugs and floggings
6 Mushroom dealer selling stew, mushroom beer and narcotic magic mushrooms
7 Strange old person selling drinkable dreams and strong emotions extracted from people desperate for cash
8 Goblin offering mystery gloryholes, no questions asked
9 Goblin selling erotic lacquered fungus and root vegetables shaped like royalty
10 Priest soaping up naked goblins and pilgrims on the street for church donations
11 Orc gimps in spiked leather having a smoke and drink between shifts
12 Goblin offering live sex shows with giant insects only 1cp a peek
13 Creepy old goblin offering servis of quick-wristed goblin youths
14 Dark elf in spiked boots stomping on paying customers who crawl on ground like worms
15 Hooded orc hangman offers VIP strangulation service
16 Goblin offers a view of a sex freak show for 1sp, guaranteed you'll be surprised
17 Dark elf outcasts will do anything for food or money
18 Goblin with special diet will poop all over you for 1sp
19 Goblin offers bath with chaos sex octopus 1gp at your own risk
20 Supernatural predatory being in dark elf form invites travellers up to the room from the window, has a whole room full of bones of victims d4 1=hag 2=doppelganger 3=lycanthrope 4=sucubus/incubus

d10 Svartheim Encounter Types
1 Small Critters
2 Humanoids
3 Monsters
4 Beggers
Slaves
6 Workers
7 Citizens
8 Parade
9 Church
10 Nobility

d100  Svartheim Encounters
01 Giant rats scuttling into holes around piles of maggoty garbage
02 Giant purple toads sitting in puddles or on toadstools
03 Giant purple and red centipedes
04 Swarm of disgusting biting flies
05 Huge beetles and bugs feeding off garbage
06 Squeaking bats of various types
07 Gremlins lounging around in garbage make rude gestures
08 Sewer pit with a tentacled neo-otug waiting in the bottom for dinner
09 See building feature relly a mimic eat a rat or a bat
10 Imps, homunculi and small demons fighting in the trash
11 Half squad section of orc soldiers with young dashing dark elf officer
12 Goblin work detail cleaning streets, repairing cobblestones, carrying buckets of filth
13 Hobgoblin oversear whipping crying goblin workers
14 Bugbear making necklaces from shrunken goblin heads
15 Goblin traders selling new goods from the goblin market and goblin snacks
16 Goblins guarding a dark elf low ranking priest 
17 Troglodyte lizardfolk hunters carrying strange meat and prisoners
18 Serpent folk wizard with human hybrid cultists
19 Orc butcher selling cuts of meat from a pushcart
20 Darkstalker with shadowy minions repulsed by surface folk
21 Elf walking its pet owlbear with some handlers and chains
22 Ogres shoving lesser humanoids away except elves, 1in6 have an ogre magi boss
23 Hill giant or troll turning a wheel or performing heavy labour or carrying goods
24 Elder troll wizard with some other seldom seen civilised trolls thought extinct
25 Shape-shifted dragon with entourage here to trade treasures and baubles
26 Dark elf walking a lesser demon or succubus/incubus to show off
27 Dark elves and ogre servants walking a pet tunnel hulk on a chain
28 Humanoid insects of several species visiting as tourists and traders
29 Vampire and entourage here on business
30 Doppelgangers in disguise d4 1=as dark elf merchants 2=as orc heroes 3=erotic dancers 4=religios cult
31 Begger with no limbs crying for food and help (limbs lost in prison)
32 Goblin children begging and picking pockets
33 Small animal folk picking up scraps d4 1=ratlings 2=toadlings 3=lizardlings 4=buglings
34 Bats and small cave apes begging for food
35 Blind elderly beggar formerly a high-ranking religious official
36 Euenach begging for money to be healed
37 Goblin parents selling children
38 Dark elf monk asks for money to set flesh-eating worms loose in his wounds
39 Orc offers you can punch him for a copper coin or stab with knife for 1gp
40 Dark elf begger offers to spare kitten's life for money
41 Slaves carrying baggage with hobgoblin overseer
42 Slave work crew repairing a building while fat bugbear watches with a whip
43 Crowd parts for a slave fight and people taking bets
44 Slaves dressed as skeletons pulling wagon load of corpses
45 Slaves carrying a palanquin with a dark elf noble passenger riding on top concealed by silk screens with hobgoblin guards
46 Slaves dragging a stone monolith with bugbear foreman whipping them in time to goblins drum beat
47 Slaves in chains being transported to market (maybe someone you haven't seen in years?)
48 Slave beaten by owner in the street while crowd laughs
49 Priests requesting sacrificial slaves and some in crowd hand over their servants
50 Selling a slave on the street, tears off clothes while slave begs for mercy
51 Drunk hobgoblin labourers sure you said something about them 
52 Goblins on work scheme with arthritic hands and joints cracking rocks into gravel
53 Ogres butchering a cave hippopotamus they found
54 Ogre smashing realistic statues of frightened adventurers into gravel
55 Busy goblins with piles of corpses. Bodies being skinned and flayed for leather, teeth being extracted and bones are being ground into meal
56 Dark elf with stage and torture equipment for sale, demonstrations every hour on goblins
57 Zombie workers with digging tools on the way to the worksite
58 Goblin giving speech about freedom gets pelted with rotten food which it collects then flees
59 Goblins stomping on fermented mushroom mash in stone bowls to make shroom beer
60 Gathering of workers on strike blocking street while they listen to angry speeches until the law turn up looking for a fight
61 Friendly dark elf merchant looking for someone for some odd jobs
62 Dark elf nobles dueling stab each other and their servants carry the wounded away
63 Dark elf youth gang loitering with drugs to pick fights and know the local law patrols
64 Dark elves watching goblins brawl and making bets, some throw knives near combatants
65 Dark elf-concerned gossip follows strangers to see what they are up to and reports to the secret police
66 Gathering of sex workers drinking and parading wares while nobles pass in carriages
67 Dark elf preaching morality is increasing and a threat to evil way of life. Endorses cannibalism, infanticide, drug abuse, child beating, random stabbings, gambling, duelling and torture for the public good  
68 Hobgoblin bailiffs chasing goblin urchin shoplifters, while dark elf shop owner looks distraught 
69 Dark elf family and servants in nice clothes walking with guards and pet displacer cat
70 Royal secret police in uniforms with wererat trackers looking for traitors
71 Religious procession of priests carrying mummified saints, various floats and ceremonial wagons while robed priests chant
72 Soldiers return from war with changed slaves and leaders in chariots with wagons of treasure
73 Sports team victory parade with huge chanting mobs, sometimes fights break out with surely losers
74 Severed heads of criminals on pikes carried to city walls to decorate them with crowd hoping to see famous criminals or politicians
75 Angry mob tearing apart a house and residents for some shameful act
76 Statue of god leads procession of priests, monks and pilgrims for a holy day
77 Wild drunken party with fornicating and murder in the street with a wild ecstatic religious mob 
78 One of the great houses having a funeral procession and rival houses sometimes try to start fights in the streets
79 Violent mob tearing apart bureaucrats and scribes who performed poorly
80 Royal family members in chariots or carriages or palanquins with squads of royal guards and servants and a hundred retainers following
81 Famous temple harlots being celebrated by a temple with a writhing orgy of church pilgrims
82 Strange lights and spirits around a temple or shrine where priests call on the power of outer planar beings
83 Priests blessing monsters brought to the temple by worshipers 
84 Priests sacrificing victims on roof shrines and hurl corpses downstairs while they eat hearts
85 Church choir of children howling a lament while the conductor whips them
86 Temple harlots wave to passers offering them sacred private ceremonies
87 Temple preparing a BBQ of roasted humanoids stuffed with mushrooms
88 Clan temple dedicated to their sacred beasts, temple overrun by them with biggest in pits. Devotees threw sacrifices to feed the pets and shower them with coins and gems
89 Priests preparing undead to sell to market as slaves or to provide the state for war
90 Temple with crucified victims on walls howling while dark elves aroused by this start an orgy
91 Nobles mounted on monsters showing outer planar being around city d5 1=demon 2=evil elemental 3=nighthag 4=chaos warlord
92 Nobles racing chariots whipping each other, ignoring pedestrian safety
93 Noble house orgy has spilt into the street from an overcrowded house
94 Noble clans and servants meet in the street starting a brawl that blocks traffic and the law stands back helplessly while nobles kill each other
95 Noble abandoning some children on the street and banishing them from the clan for failing tests of cruelty
96 Nobles in decadent costumes on the way to an orgy with leather-clad chained slaves
97 Noble with hunting beasts chasing branded goblins and slaves for fun
98 Obscene harlequin band with the noble audience screaming. Band decapitated a few goblins for the show and the lead singer had sex with a few audience members on stage 
99 Noble gives away cuts of meat by throwing into the crowd and offering drinks of blood from a black cauldron. Part of an attempt to become more popular and win votes on city assembly
100 Naked noble riding a black unicorn or other fabulous monster

2 comments:

  1. This and the earlier post really makes me wish my regular group didn't have children in it. Good dank stuff.

    ReplyDelete
  2. yes i restrain myself with younger players
    i know one naughty 25 year old but still some generational humour its possibly dated and sometimes its ok

    ReplyDelete

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