Thursday, 23 June 2022

12 Habits of highly effective Murder Hobos

Some mood fluff im writing for book. One more session of work and will posting revised 100 page murder hobo manual on my Patreon shortly. This was a warm up I did to get me back into the mindset for advanced murder and mayhem.

d12 Habits of highly effective Murder Hobos
1 Take offers of just bounties and rewards for battle and lawfully sieze any valuables you can. If someone claims certain goods you recover have them pay you a share as a reward if they can prove their claim. The greater your reputation and the risk the more you must demand.

2 Shun company of other peoples outside your professional peers and don't even trust them. Relations always become complicated and make you weak if not for profit or brief companionship for pleasure. Only the fighting camaraderie of your band matters.

3 Avoid conflict with law and locals. Pay them off or flee if there is trouble you cannot possibly profit from. If the law is your enemy time to move to a new kingdom  

4 When you find an adventurers corpse, recover it to a temple for burial. If they seem worthy and omens are good have the priests call the miracle of new life to them. Then the adventurer owes you and must pay or serve you.

 Disembowel any beast that could have treasure hidden in its digestive tract, butcher and collect meat, skin, and anything of value if you can sell or use for raw materials or exotic ingredients.

6 If it can be profitable take captives as hostages, bounties, rewards or sell them but remember an enemy you spare or let flee may one day come after you and cause troubles.

Always loot, quickly grabbing any loose valuables on the battlefield. After danger is gone take everything you can . Even take the furniture, doors, clothes, firewood and leave nothing. Sell or settle the property if possible.

 Coins are for taverns and lodging. Jewels, ingots, artworks and magic are the best forms of wealth to carry, the more unbreakable and compact and rare the better. Magical things are usually all three and are the only things worth owning.

9 Shun hoarding wealth when you may die any day. Spend your money on vapid pleasures of the flesh fill your brief idle times when not at war.

10 Shun settling down and keep moving on. Stay with friends, rent a room, camp outdoors but move before something bad happens. Keep no home and dont settling down like some tree.

Shun titles, offices, land take money as your just reward. Anything you build or love will be taken or robbed or destroyed. Serving kings makes you their slave for life. Only the power of your own self and what you can carry matters.  

Shun the lands of peace and contentment. Go to the borderlands and wage war on the frontier humanoids and wild folk and bandits and outcasts. When farmers settle and priests build churches and kings make law its time to move on. 


  1. I hesitate to share this with any of my players but it's fucking great and also the style of game I'd love to run. Sad Tale of the Brothers Grossbart through and through

    1. just have code espoused by older murder hoboes who are more far gone - look how great we turned out


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