Sunday, 5 May 2019

d100 Stuff My Kenku Says

Best thing in 5th ed is Tengu. My current black dragon charletan coward sorcerer Tengu has a great time eating eyeballs, saying awkward things and otherwise being a jerk. As ppl insisted I play by book and talk only using quotes I started noting every interesting phraze in game. So as I'm away next game I made this table to replace me. Kinda makes my skills in communications hard. Added some phrases to sell my fake potions from my background. Have been carrying eggs found around 3 sessions. Others wanted to eat my eggs which is horrific and evil. Egg eating monkey bastards. Eating babies is revolting. Anyway hoping my eggs hatch soon.

Phrases My Kenku Heard
01 Ride me daddy
02 Took my coconuts
03 Sodomy
04 Piss in my skull
05 Piece of shit Drow
06 No lawyers on ship
07 Im on way out
08 Get out
09 What the fek
10 My Kindred
11 Killed you
12 Slap the bar
13 Shut your holes
14 Choke on the bar
15 Shank him
16 The pain
17 More hands
18 Loose change
19 Whiskey on the ship
20 Loose change
21 Humans different size
22 Come with pants
23 Bottoms as well
24 Better at fingering
25 I wanted to f*cking live
26 Look in the sack
27 Pigs can't fly
28 This isn't funny
29 This isn't funny
30 How many can I fit in my mouth
31 Grab it in the tongue
32 We need to make shelter
33 Need medicine
34 Go check them out
35 If you do that again I will kill you
36 Your a liar
37 Go get them
38 Wanna be friends
39 Slave with benefits
40 You need to get yourself some new material
41 Shit what happened to elf
42 Devils anus
43 Rift sounds hilarious
44 Follow us
45 Bong Bong (elf village danger bell)
46 Yodelaheehoo
47 Exploding toad 
48 Cant you see the hilarity
49 He stepped into my blade
50 Gets nasty when it's dark
51 Take the point

52 Orgy
53 Booby traps
54 Acid
55 Bugger
56 Reach around
57 Double magic loot
58 Magic item
59 Nobody
60 Cant kill a dancing man
61 Escaped
62 Made a hole
63 No pants
64 Taken prisoner by elves
65 Good friends
66 Danger Danger
67 Tame scrag
68 Sleep
69 Magic missile
70 Arse
71 Cures baldness

72 Wanna buy a potion
73 Buy now crazy prices
74 Magic medicine show
75 Roll up roll up
76 Cure all diseases
77 Make your sweetheart love you back
78 Buy a potion buy a potion
79 Makes you less ugly
80 Trust me
81 Low low prices
82 Two for price of one
83 Barley addictive
84 Delicious flavours
85 No unwanted side effects
86 Results guaranteed
87 Makes you twice as pretty
88 Cures all ailments
89 Lasts all night long
90 Improves love life
91 Cures alcoholism, drug addiction and lusty thoughts
92 Yes I am a doctor

93 Not a comman not a conman
94 Honestly
95 Nevermore nevermore

96 I cannot tell a lie
97 You can trust me
98 Cures all ills
99 Takes a few days to work
100 You might need a double dose

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