Monday, 30 January 2017

Dodgy Deals of Xor

When adventures arrive in a Xorian market looking all foreign and dim witted, out from the meat flap shanty town tents and dark fleshy pits crawl con men and cultists and wizards keen for a fresh rube. Sometimes they offer something decent or at least leads to a adventure. These could be used elsewhere.

d100 Dodgy Deals of Xor
01 Assassin selling rot grub in a seashell sealed with wax
02 Assassin selling green slime 
03 Assassin selling grub that turns victim into a insane mummy
04 Gardener selling creeper plant that kills victims and turns them into zombie guardians
05 Old murder hobo selling baby mimic
06 Old hunter selling baby carrion crawler grubs
07 Flesh miner selling purple worm egg
08 Wizard selling flesh golem (prone to fits of insanity if angered)
09 Toothless crone selling ear centipedes that turn victims into mindless beserkers
10 Old merchant offers a village for sale and its 6d6 people as slaves

11 Shifty noble selling impressive titles with documents and heraldry
12 Merchant offers healing potions if mystery chest delivered unopened

13 Noble offering murder contracts on his rivals 
14 Mature widow seeks husband for legal reasons will pay
15 Priest requires idol to be stolen from rival sect
16 Wizard apprentice offers masters cloning services (will make a few extra on side)
17 Old murder hobo selling maps of caverns he could never finish
18 Shifty guy selling details of traps in a wizards lair full of books
19 Man selling forged documents to claim to herd of goats "easy riches!"
20 Creepy elf selling love potions
21 Creepy goblin in alley selling ingested poison potion
22 Dwarf selling block of ice "quickly I haven't got all day"
23 Goblin selling fungus chunks claims they have magic power
24 Guinea pig folk selling ladies underwear from lands beyond Xor
25 Shifty dude selling pleasure slave octopus folk in cages
26 Man offers chit to enter the secretive glory hole club
27 Pimp offers attractive woman by the actually a succubi
28 Apprentice offers discount spell book but all spells flawed
29 Wizard offers lesser 1HD demon and name amulet to command it
30 Witch selling flying ointment made from babies, must be naked to use
31 Pimp offering cheap but strange prostitutes, actually polymorphed dogs and rats 
32 Mutant offering "temporary only" mutation potions 
33 Old man claims he can make your boobs bigger by sucking on them, only a gold piece!
34 Filthy homeless man claims is a divinity who can restore virginity by having sex with him
35 Hungry doppelgangers in form of pretty youths invite you to a orgy
36 A horrible fat ogre offers gold coins to anyone who gives him a oiled body massage
37 Goatmen need a naked human for a holy ritual and will pay with a potion 
38 Goblin selling a frozen cube of troll flesh going cheap for a quick sale
39 Man selling gremlins in bottles, great pets for the kiddies, going cheap
40 Witch selling a quasit in a lead iron box in return for a virgin
41 Cultist selling a imp in a silver cage requires 4 slaves to sacrifice
42 Strange outlander selling cheap addictive black lotus resin, price doubles each dose
43 Wizard offers to grow you multiple sets of attractive breasts for low low price 
44 Cultists selling idol of para elemental lord of evil, claims you can ask it one question 
45 Goblin offering bucket of milk with magical powers (24 hours adds d3 CHA)
46 Goblin offers bottle of Xor urine he claims works as a healing potion
47 Goblin offers bottle of Xor blood if released grows into a ochre jelly
48 Goblin selling pointy teeth ready to implant into empty gums and grow
49 Elf selling poems guaranteed to get your lover compliant
50 Bugbear selling pickled human heads
51 Man selling adorable baby bugbears
52 Man selling maps to lost civilization swallowed by Xor thousands of years ago
53 Pimp offering gelatinous blob for good times at low low price
54 Wizard needs to by human semen, gives a silver piece per sample
55 Wizard offering surgery to make you feel unbelievable happiness for rest of life
56 Alchemist requires adventurers to deliver giant suppositories to giant cyclops
57 Wizard offers to enlarge your genitals to horse like proportions, mostly painless
58 Old woman offers you to swim in her magic pool naked to receive invulnerable skin
59 Man offers bets who can beat his 4 armed bone golem, loser gives winner all property
60 Alchemist pimping out flesh golem with wig and bad make up for extra cash
61 Incompetent ogre seeking new best friends, will follow party and mess up everything
62 Healer offers cheap treatments for sexually transmitted diseases
63 Old man offers free oil massages for young musclebound adventurers
64 Woman selling leather belts, hero harnesses, masks, boots and whips
65 Wizard offers to take you to another world far away from Xor
66 Man wants money to not feed puppies to slimy orifice in ground
67 Lady claims will give gold to any man who can satisfy her, actually a shape shifting horror
68 Man selling what he claims to be 8 legged two headed double decker dog
69 Goblin invites you to naked wrestling club (for goblinoids)
70 Mutant selling glowing crystals he found in strange metal wreck
71 Goblin selling tasty yogurt like fluid stuff he found bubbling up from ground
72 Thieves selling stolen goods and picking pockets of any which inspect goods
73 Shifty woman selling trunk of second hand biological sex toys from deceased mom
74 Pimp with doppelganger prostitute that looks like your dream lover
75 Naked old man says he needs help to get out of Xor
76 Troll offering people to stab him in guts 2gp a stab
77 Woman selling mystery sausages from a bone pushcart
78 Man selling cavemen in cages half price
79 Goblins playing dice games
80 Thief with table playing shell and card games
81 Man with mouse organ whacks rodents with mallets to make squeaking tunes
82 Shifty thugs offering loans with 100% per 24 hours, reminders in form of beatings
83 Chess playing ape man bets on comers for silver or food
84 Man selling illegal drugs or slaves actually a constable in disguise
85 Old lady with filthy bucket selling fresh transplant organs, surgery extra
86 Children in coat disguised as adult trying to solicit strangers for help finding vice
87 Elf artist selling filthy scrolls illustrating depravity
88 Tattoo artist with squid man assistant looking for work
89 Cultist offering free sex and drugs if you come to cool secret party
90 Pimp with hobbit harem
91 Bearded man selling hair restoration potions (hair grows coloured inch/hour for life) 
92 Man selling magic beans in return for livestock or slaves
93 Woman selling fist size twitching tumors as food
94 Creepy hunchback offering free hugs
95 Dwarf selling extra grip living boots, feed off your dead skin and sweat
96 Cultists selling slaves barley capable of caring for selves after INT drained
97 Elf selling living jewelry of flesh with blinking eyes for gems, gross with no function
98 Wizard offering to change your gender with a spell
99 Wizard offering to swap you head for various animal ones on little cart
100 Molten blob of flesh with face offers to turn you into immortal shoggoth

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