Sunday, 20 December 2020

Clown Mutations

So I'm in the treatment plan for terrible hayfever. Yay most illnesses don't affect my creativity as much. Watching lots superhero cartoons and tv catchups and rewatching some classic film series as wholes. Knock zine is freaking amazing stuff im loving it. 

Obviously, this post has a clown warning and if you play with any optional clown rules in your game you should warn people who might not be able to enjoy imagining or thinking or clown-related talk.

Well if clowns are a mutation and so are martial arts are there pirate mutations.....
I did get some help and encouragement from osr rpg group on FB 

Other Mutations Posts
Xor Bio Mutations
Necro Mutations
Reptilian Mutations
Diabolic Mutations
Plant Mutations

Faerie Mutations
Mental Mutations
Subterranean Mutations
Angelic Paladin Mutations
Law Mutations
Giant Mutations
Surgical Mutation
Psychon Mutations
Cyber Mutations

Failed mutation system
Outside Mutations
Apotheosis Mutations - too many mutations
Mutant Class

as ever
minor mutations are common, mostly cosmetic
major are strange powers 
apotheosis is too many mutations
= more minor mutations than half CON score
=more major mutations than Lv or HD
Mutantclass exempt from apotheosis

d12 Sources of mutation

1 Bitten by a mad clown in the street
2 Saw the great chaos jester in a vision
3 In your sleep you visited dream lands and nightmare realms
4 Chaos clown demon tainted you by contact
5 Drank water from a clowns footprint
6 Dream clowns visit bed by night
7 Had an erotic clown encounter at a carnival
8 Clown gave you the evil eye
9 Groped by giggling pack of filthy clowns on a fair day
10 Ancestor was cursed by clowns
11 A cursed clown object d4 1=nose 2=hat 3=jester sceptre 4=pie
12 Found a creepy clown doll that infected you with clown spores

d10 basic types

1 Facial/sensory
2 Skin
3 Torso/body
4 Abdomen
5 Arms/manipulation
6 Legs/locomotion
7 Mouth
8 Cranium/skull
9 Organs
10 Brain

d100 Lesser Clown Mutations

01 Huge red nose
02 Huge facial hair
03 Huge floppy ears
04 Huge eyebrows
05 Facepaint
06 Jiggly jowls
07 Googly eyes
08 Colourful painted face
09 Always sad or always manic face
10 Speech impediment
11 Made up all over with tattoos
12 Clothing becomes ridiculous
13 Greasy slippery paint-covered skin
14 Hairy skinned 
15 Rubbery skinned +1AC
16 Glittery makeup skin
17 Metallic makeup skin
18 Sweat smells sweet then sour as they get old
19 Sweat dyes clothes in strange colours and patterns
20 Exotic piercings
21 Bright pompoms down front
22 Scrawny body frame
23 Very ticklish
24 Hump stores 3 days food and water
25 Barrel like chest
26 Vermin live on body
27 Crooked spine
28 Strange posture
29 Clothing rapidly falls apart and ruined
30 Clothing always goes baggy and puffy
31 Hilarious but functional genitalia
32 Fat belly or butt sags out
33 Flatulent
34 Pee pants when scared or funniest
35 Nausea on boats or wagons
36 Animal noises come out of belly
37 Very loud in toilet
38 Bizare genitalia resembling common object
39 Go to the bathroom once every 3 days for a long time
40 Swallow and regurgitate small items like an egg
41 Ambidextrous
42 Puffy huge hands
43 Clawed fingers d3 damage
44 Long hands
45 Long arms
46 Puffy sleeves
47 Floppy muppet arms
48 Joints in hands and arms squeak and creak 
49 Skin on hands hardy like gloves
50 Double jointed arms
51 Honk or jingle as walk
52 Prehensile feet
53 Thick calloused souls
54 Trip over own feet easily
55 Joints squeak and creak in legs and feet
56 Funny awkward walk
57 Long legs
58 Long floppy feet
59 Hideous worn feet with terrible toenails
60 Double-jointed legs
61 Huge mouth d3 bite attack
62 Messy eater
63 Terrible breath
64 Funny grotesque teeth
65 Elongated tongue 30cm
66 Teeth keep falling out and growing back
67 Silly voice
68 Can honk like a horn
69 Brilliant whistler
70 Compulsive laughter
71 Huge round head
72 Cone shaped head
73 Huge coloured mass of hair
74 Pompoms on head
75 Thick skull +2HP
76 Funny shaped skull
77 Long neck
78 Neck makes clicking sounds when turning head
79 Ruff around neck 
80 Colourful huge bow around neck
81 Liver tolerates heavy drinking
82 Can drink polluted water
83 Can digest rotting food
84 Can graze on plants to live
85 Can hold breath ten minutes
86 Can gorge self on food for three people
87 Can eat sewerage without harm
88 Has worms eats double
89 Vomit up acid inflicts 1hp once/Lv/day
90 Cough up revolting green bile
91 Compulsive jokes and puns
92 Cries easily with huge tears
93 Insults strangers
94 Always sleepy
95 Giggles in sleep
96 Snores loudly
97 Sleepwalks
98 Giggles during awkward moments
99 Brain occasionally sticks out nose or ears
100 Top of the skull can open up showing brain inside

d10 basic mutation types

1 Facial/sensory
2 Skin
3 Torso/body
4 Abdomen
5 Arms/manipulation
6 Legs/locomotion
7 Mouth
8 Cranium/skull
9 Organs
10 Brain

d100  Major Clown Mutations
01 Eyes shootout on 2m long tentacles at will
02 Eyes can be removed as spies for an hour per level, regrow in a month if lost
03 Huge red nose can detach and throw it range 4 for 3d6 damage 2 area save for half, regrows next day
04 Huge ears provide batlike echolocation
05 Charming huge smile +1CHA
06 Blank face can change for an hour per level per day to mimic a known person
07 Laughter all in 3 range save or laugh along also
08 Face can twist into a hideous mask, under 1HD creatures save or flee d4 rounds
09 Twitching nose sniffs 3 range d4 1=gold 2=blood 3=sweets 4=alcohol
10 Eyes shed huge tears at slightest distress, carry powerful pheromones, all in 3 range save or tear up also
11 Chameleon skin can change various colours
12 Clothing can change once per level per day
13 Feel no pain skin +3AC 
14 Durable skin +1HP/Lv
15 Rubbery skin, blunt and falling damage -1 on all damage dice
16 Repairing skin heal one HP per hour
17 Fire resistant skin, resist normal fire and only half magic fire damage 
18 Acid resistant skin, resist normal acid and only half magic acid damage 
19 Cold resistant skin, resist normal cold and only half magic frost damage 
20 Electric resistant skin, resist normal electricity and only half magic lightning  damage 
21 Body floats like wood move full Mov in water
22 Flower on chest shoots 2d4 acid 3 range once per hour, save or take 1HP/round for 2d4 rounds 
23 Loud Beating clown heat +1d4 HP plus 1/Lv
24 Elongate torso 1m/Lv at will
25 Rotate upper body half to face any direction in the fight
26 Detach limbs for turn per level, if not return lose %10 of HP and limb lost
27 Body inflates like a balloon can fly Mov 3, stronger winds can blow you away
28 Door in chest opens releasing a midget clown clone 1HD AC+3 d6 club obeys your wishes but only honks, if dies new one grows in day
29 Hive in torso has a hive of ferocious clown bugs that can make a swarm attack as spell level per round per hour
30 Absorb limbs at will and become a clown snake with Mov9 Smim12 Climb6 can crawl in tight spaces and use unarmed attacks for bite or constricting
31 Digest inorganic matter or almost anything instead of regular food
32 Horror flatulence, release stinking cloud once per hour no range 
33 Controlled flatulence at will, can even speak words like the second mouth
34 Once a day pull common equipment 
from pocket worth 5gp/Lv per day
35 Pull rat, frog, bug or dove from your pocket per round once per level per day
36 Your excrement is brightly coloured and tastes like candy that can feed a person for a day
37 Urinate alcohol equivalent of a bottle of spirits per day as body living distillery
38 Second face and baby arms in the belly, has own mental attributes, if character unconscious or asleep the lesser face can run the body, it can heal host a d4+1 HP once a day of host. The main body will get a save per hour to reassume control if unwilling
39 If clown dies smaller clown 
clone bursts from corpse next day, half HD/LV but recovers some size and a HD/Lv per day
40 Pull a bottle of beer from your pocket once per hour
41 Summon a cream pie once per level/day throw range 3 to the blind victim for a round if fail to save or is for a day
42 Arms inflate into muscles +1 STR 
43 Elongate arms +1m/Lv at will can flex like tentacles making an escape and manipulating tight places easily
44 By miming your unarmed attacks they become range 6 attacks  
45 Shocking grasp d8 dam +1/Lv once per hour
46 Can produce common hand size objects at will such as dice, deck of cards, balloons, ball, cup, flowers, water balloon per hour
47 Unseen servant hands at will within 6 range
48 Once a day create an invisible panel of force 3m wide and high that lasts a turn
49 Squirt water like a hose from your finger range 3 one litre a squirt once/Lv per day blind victim for a round if fail to save
50 Glider wings can fly across equal to starting height at normal Mov rate
51 Taps on feet produce litre/Lv per day
52 Bouncy feet+3m to standing leap
53 Huge floppy feet actually increase Move by 50%
54 When knocked over feet remain flat on ground and clown stand instantly with no loss of clowns actions
55 Legs replaced with a spring or bouncy rubbery sphere, all movement is bouncing with a twang sound can jump +6m to standing leap and double move
56 Immune to falling damage but temporarily look harmed for one round
57 Spiderclimb at will
58 Water walking at will
59 Silent movement while on tiptoes or closest you can manage
60 Extra unarmed kick attack action per round
61 Perfect sound mimic
62 Make loud band music or fog horn sounds from mouth
63 Teeth can bite metal bars or chains or wood like a chisel 
64 Extra unarmed bite attack in melee
65 Vomit up scarves, or paper streamers and confetti at will
66 Have a beautiful voice and gain singing skill
67 Vomit up usable rope 6m/Lv per day
68 Sneeze blinding mucous 3 range save or blind d4 rounds use per hour
69 Terrible puns and abuse cause unarmed damage at 3m range to a target once per round to living intelligent foe that can understand your words
70 Can  throw voice 6m range
71 Head can rotate 360 degrees rapidly making a ratchet-like clacking sound
72 Neck elongates 1m/Lv at will and bends like a snake
73 Pull rabbit out of your hat per Lv per day
74 Clock around the neck can manipulate to haste round/Lv per day
75 Can mould own face like putty and change colour for amazing disguises takes a turn to be specific person, clown or humanoid species but artistry and skill still help 
76 Extra unarmed headbutt attack action
77 Wonderous Hat can pull out an animal once per day 1HD/Lv, the creature has no desire to server you though, animals are strange coloured and odd (d4 minor mutations)
78 Prehensile hair 1 range/Lv can mak an extra unarmed attack to grapple, hair can change styles, grab things, used to swing on or catch a bird
79 Extra head with own mental attributes takes turns to sleep and control body
80 Head can separate and direct body by sight but a bit clumsy -2 most actions -4 if blind
81 Spray cloud of balloon spores over 1m area/Lv surface per day, will grow a patch of colourful floating fungus balloons in a week which are released and fly away, clowns often use this on their kills or territory or fill areas with balloons over time. Balloons once free last a week unless burst 
82 Can enlarge as the spell at will
83 Can shrink as spell at will
84 Gaseous form one ten minute turm per day Fly 3 but beware win
85 Melt into liquid form one ten minute turm per day but only Mov 3
86 If clown hit to minus HP strange coloured paint like clown blood flows back into body and stops leaking, healing them 2d8 HP +1/Lv once per day
87 Anything tasting clown blood must save or has clown poisononing, save or gain a minor mutation and laughs crazily d3 rounds where it cant attack (but can do anything defensive or move), all agree clown tastes funny
88 Clown lactates clown milk a mildly adictive euphitoc, one dose/Lv per day save or -d4 all mental atats for rest of day. Make save have vision qusts in the dream lands or nightmare world for an hour. A group can share the same trip. Milk only keeps for same day 
89 The clown is immune to fire but highly flamible, all in 1 area of clown take d6 per round, takes one round of rolling or water to douse flames
90 Clown adapts to local natural conditions like underwater, space or elemental planes, confers no resistance to native creatures attacks even if similar element to environment
91 Can open gate to world of dreams or nightmares once a week that lasts hour
92 Can imagine scenes that appear as a small cloud all can see, useful for exposition montages to tell stories
93 Summon gaggles of chaos clowns 1HD AC+3 d6 club one per level per day
94 Any one enemy in 6m concentrated on -2 on all saves
95 Can see dreams of others sleeping within 3m
96 Comunicate basic ideas with any intelligent being through miming
97 Imune to Poison
98 Invisibiliyspell once per hour
99 Create an illusionary duplicate like spell per level, each lasts for a turn, they can be set moving in routines of activity like a simple animation cycle to run or dance or distract
100 Swap a d3 attribute points into any mental attribute

d12 Apotheosis
01 Inflate to huge size float away into the sun
02 Swell up and burst to release smaller clowns that scuttle to safety from predictors
03 Swell to huge size burst to leave streamers and confetti
04 Laugh loudly rolling on the ground then burst apart in a gory mess
05 Sits giggling then melts into icecream like a mess
06 Tiny midget evil clowns cut their way out of the skin and go on murder sprees
07 Chaos jester transforms clown into horrific but brightly coloured demon clown
08 Body inflates into a circus tent full of carny folk, clowns and animals ready for the show
09 Starts to inflate but bursts leaving deflated loose mass of skin
10 Sit down sadly, turns into a painting on velvet in a gilded frame 
11 Choke on a joke, tiny clown funeral appears to bury the body 
12 Laugh at a joke, brain melts can do nothing but laugh while rocking 

d12 Strange Clown Encounters
1 Clown farm with clown animals
2 Carnival or circus
3 Clown house in village or city hated by locals
4 Feral clown cult in sewers
5 Clown graveyard was only one necromancer could find in a hurry
6 Clown chaos cultist puts on a show to recruit local losers
7 Rich man has clown menagerie and favourite breeding clown escaped
8 Clown Guild has a disturbing account of non guild clown outbreak and wants investigators and evidence to have them outlawed
9 A strange coloured tower appeared and giggling cowns sometimes emerge encouraging people to enter 
10 A clown has been snatching children and is hiding an area, locals mob want all clowns and bards rounded up
11 A nightmare clown demon has been taking victims to the nightmare realm
12  A were clown in among the village and is biting people in bed at night and scaring children

Any boring dungeon is better with clowns
Boring old snake cult become clown snake cult of the trickster serpant with killer sock puppet snakes and weird chaos clown snakes of oll colours 
There are probably anti clown spells and swords +4 vs clowns and cursed clown weapons like a club that mutates wielder when special powers used but is really cool. Temporary clown mutations in traps or potions might be cool


  1. Wow, you put a lot of work into this. Awesome!

  2. Bad bad very bad not good. I didn't have a clown phobia before this, and now I have three.

    (fantastic work!)

  3. That's just what comes from drinking US Army "Tomato Soup." People should know better.


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