Make the Underland Kinky Again 2: Svartheim Encounters

Underland Encounters for the dark elf city of Svartheim. 
These are common encounters but city districts have their own encounters and character.
Will be a carousing table and maybe a d100 shops or an A-Z

Obviously not for innocent adventurers who best go home.

d12 Common Svartheim Street Vendors
1 Spiced beetle on a stick 2cp some fancy versions with gold and silver leaf
2 Hot buttered maggots 2cp wiggle all the away
3 Worms in aspic 2cp in a mushroom cap 
4 Marinaded mushroom kebabs 4cp with beetle or mushroom sauce
5 Flat Teast Bread 1cp causes melancholia and pale skin if eaten daily for a week
6 Pickled cave onions 2cp 
7 Lamprey stew 1sp
8 Baby goblin pie 1sp well done or uncooked with black sauce or pea soup
9 Cave nettle soup 1cp quite tasty and nutritious BYO bowl or cup 
10 Cave hog foot 6cp with mushroom gravy
11 Lotus Tea from a silver samovar on a cart 1sp only mildly addictive
12 Goblin brains 2cp stewed or 1sp for fresh living goblin tied to special table to remove top of head and the goblin complains the whole time

d12 Common Buskers in Svartheim
1 Dark elf with lute sings of drugs and orgies and stabbing a former friends
2 Goblins playing bongo drums smoking swamp weed
3 Goblin jester juggling baby goblins and hatchets and burning torches
4 Goblin stabs self for money or invites ppl to stab him and bet they can hurt him (secretly a nilbog and is healed by normal weapons)
5 Bugbear stall where you throw a shrunken head at an erotic goblin fertility idol, 3 goes for 1cp if you can get AC+10 you win a giant hornworm
6 Were rat with amazing rat circus on a cart 
7 Dark elf erotic dancer of indeterminate gender but very pretty
8 Goblin pole dancers slink around on lamp posts in glittery silk g-strings   
9 Kiss my succubus in this tent 1pp d4 1=what it says 2=actually it is a wight with an illusion 3=oops its a medusa 4=really hungry doppelgangers
10 Wretched human magican lost down here doing tricks for food, has become scatty and deranged
11 Goblin jester singing songs about flatulence, VD, diarrhoea and growing up in a brothel
12 Dark elf bard with harpsicord with live squealing kittens inside to make so called music

d20 Common Svartheim Vice on Streets
1 Drug den where children help keep smokers unconscious on black lotus
2 Dealer on street in long coat offering drugs, poison and stolen magic items
3 Sex workers call from an alley offering cheap quick thrills
4 Bar where strange wines with venomous animals in bottles for sale with alchemical brews and common narcotics in drink forms. Some drinks are made from juiced live animals
5 Brothel with performers in window invite travellers inside for sex drugs and floggings
6 Mushroom dealer selling stew, mushroom beer and narcotic magic mushrooms
7 Strange old person selling drinkable dreams and strong emotions extracted from people desperate for cash

8 Goblin offering mystery gloryholes, no questions asked

9 Goblin selling erotic lacquered fungus and root vegetables shaped like royalty

10 Priest soaping up naked goblins and pilgrims on the street for church donations

11 Orc gimps in spiked leather having a smoke and drink between shifts

12 Goblin offering live sex shows with giant insects only 1cp a peek

13 Creepy old goblin offering servis of quick-wristed goblin youths

14 Dark elf in spiked boots stomping on paying customers who crawl on ground like worms

15 Hooded orc hangman offers VIP strangulation service

16 Goblin offers a view of a sex freak show for 1sp, guaranteed you'll be surprised

17 Dark elf outcasts will do anything for food or money
18 Goblin with special diet will poop all over you for 1sp
19 Goblin offers bath with chaos sex octopus 1gp at your own risk

20 Supernatural predatory being in dark elf form invites travellers up to the room from the window, has a whole room full of bones of victims d4 1=hag 2=doppelganger 3=lycanthrope 4=sucubus/incubus

d10 Svartheim Encounter Types
1 Small Critters

2 Humanoids

3 Monsters

4 Beggers

5 Slaves

6 Workers

7 Citizens

8 Parade

9 Church

10 Nobility

d100  Svartheim Encounters
01 Giant rats scuttling into holes around piles of maggoty garbage

02 Giant purple toads sitting in puddles or on toadstools

03 Giant purple and red centipedes

04 Swarm of disgusting biting flies

05 Huge beetles and bugs feeding off garbage

06 Squeaking bats of various types

07 Gremlins lounging around in garbage make rude gestures

08 Sewer pit with a tentacled neo-otug waiting in the bottom for dinner

09 See building feature relly a mimic eat a rat or a bat

10 Imps, homunculi and small demons fighting in the trash
11 Half squad section of orc soldiers with young dashing dark elf officer

12 Goblin work detail cleaning streets, repairing cobblestones, carrying buckets of filth

13 Hobgoblin oversear whipping crying goblin workers

14 Bugbear making necklaces from shrunken goblin heads

15 Goblin traders selling new goods from the goblin market and goblin snacks

16 Goblins guarding a dark elf low ranking priest 

17 Troglodyte lizardfolk hunters carrying strange meat and prisoners

18 Serpent folk wizard with human hybrid cultists

19 Orc butcher selling cuts of meat from a pushcart

20 Darkstalker with shadowy minions repulsed by surface folk

21 Elf walking its pet owlbear with some handlers and chains

22 Ogres shoving lesser humanoids away except elves, 1in6 have an ogre magi boss

23 Hill giant or troll turning a wheel or performing heavy labour or carrying goods

24 Elder troll wizard with some other seldom seen civilised trolls thought extinct

25 Shape-shifted dragon with entourage here to trade treasures and baubles

26 Dark elf walking a lesser demon or succubus/incubus to show off

27 Dark elves and ogre servants walking a pet tunnel hulk on a chain

28 Humanoid insects of several species visiting as tourists and traders

29 Vampire and entourage here on business

30 Doppelgangers in disguise d4 1=as dark elf merchants 2=as orc heroes 3=erotic dancers 4=religios cult
31 Begger with no limbs crying for food and help (limbs lost in prison)

32 Goblin children begging and picking pockets

33 Small animal folk picking up scraps d4 1=ratlings 2=toadlings 3=lizardlings 4=buglings

34 Bats and small cave apes begging for food

35 Blind elderly beggar formerly a high-ranking religious official

36 Euenach begging for money to be healed

37 Goblin parents selling children

38 Dark elf monk asks for money to set flesh-eating worms loose in his wounds

39 Orc offers you can punch him for a copper coin or stab with knife for 1gp

40 Dark elf begger offers to spare kitten's life for money

41 Slaves carrying baggage with hobgoblin overseer

42 Slave work crew repairing a building while fat bugbear watches with a whip

43 Crowd parts for a slave fight and people taking bets

44 Slaves dressed as skeletons pulling wagon load of corpses

45 Slaves carrying a palanquin with a dark elf noble passenger riding on top concealed by silk screens with hobgoblin guards

46 Slaves dragging a stone monolith with bugbear foreman whipping them in time to goblins drum beat

47 Slaves in chains being transported to market (maybe someone you haven't seen in years?)

48 Slave beaten by owner in the street while crowd laughs

49 Priests requesting sacrificial slaves and some in crowd hand over their servants

50 Selling a slave on the street, tears off clothes while slave begs for mercy
51 Drunk hobgoblin labourers sure you said something about them 

52 Goblins on work scheme with arthritic hands and joints cracking rocks into gravel

53 Ogres butchering a cave hippopotamus they found

54 Ogre smashing realistic statues of frightened adventurers into gravel

55 Busy goblins with piles of corpses. Bodies being skinned and flayed for leather, teeth being extracted and bones are being ground into meal

56 Dark elf with stage and torture equipment for sale, demonstrations every hour on goblins

57 Zombie workers with digging tools on the way to the worksite

58 Goblin giving speech about freedom gets pelted with rotten food which it collects then flees

59 Goblins stomping on fermented mushroom mash in stone bowls to make shroom beer

60 Gathering of workers on strike blocking street while they listen to angry speeches until the law turn up looking for a fight
61 Friendly dark elf merchant looking for someone for some odd jobs

62 Dark elf nobles dueling stab each other and their servants carry the wounded away

63 Dark elf youth gang loitering with drugs to pick fights and know the local law patrols

64 Dark elves watching goblins brawl and making bets, some throw knives near combatants

65 Dark elf-concerned gossip follows strangers to see what they are up to and reports to the secret police

66 Gathering of sex workers drinking and parading wares while nobles pass in carriages

67 Dark elf preaching morality is increasing and a threat to evil way of life. Endorses cannibalism, infanticide, drug abuse, child beating, random stabbings, gambling, duelling and torture for the public good  

68 Hobgoblin bailiffs chasing goblin urchin shoplifters, while dark elf shop owner looks distraught 

69 Dark elf family and servants in nice clothes walking with guards and pet displacer cat

70 Royal secret police in uniforms with wererat trackers looking for traitors
71 Religious procession of priests carrying mummified saints, various floats and ceremonial wagons while robed priests chant

72 Soldiers return from war with changed slaves and leaders in chariots with wagons of treasure

73 Sports team victory parade with huge chanting mobs, sometimes fights break out with surely losers

74 Severed heads of criminals on pikes carried to city walls to decorate them with crowd hoping to see famous criminals or politicians

75 Angry mob tearing apart a house and residents for some shameful act

76 Statue of god leads procession of priests, monks and pilgrims for a holy day

77 Wild drunken party with fornicating and murder in the street with a wild ecstatic religious mob 

78 One of the great houses having a funeral procession and rival houses sometimes try to start fights in the streets

79 Violent mob tearing apart bureaucrats and scribes who performed poorly

80 Royal family members in chariots or carriages or palanquins with squads of royal guards and servants and a hundred retainers following
81 Famous temple harlots being celebrated by a temple with a writhing orgy of church pilgrims

82 Strange lights and spirits around a temple or shrine where priests call on the power of outer planar beings
83 Priests blessing monsters brought to the temple by worshipers 

84 Priests sacrificing victims on roof shrines and hurl corpses downstairs while they eat hearts

85 Church choir of children howling a lament while the conductor whips them

86 Temple harlots wave to passers offering them sacred private ceremonies

87 Temple preparing a BBQ of roasted humanoids stuffed with mushrooms

88 Clan temple dedicated to their sacred beasts, temple overrun by them with biggest in pits. Devotees threw sacrifices to feed the pets and shower them with coins and gems

89 Priests preparing undead to sell to market as slaves or to provide the state for war

90 Temple with crucified victims on walls howling while dark elves aroused by this start an orgy
91 Nobles mounted on monsters showing outer planar being around city d5 1=demon 2=evil elemental 3=nighthag 4=chaos warlord

92 Nobles racing chariots whipping each other, ignoring pedestrian safety

93 Noble house orgy has spilt into the street from an overcrowded house

94 Noble clans and servants meet in the street starting a brawl that blocks traffic and the law stands back helplessly while nobles kill each other

95 Noble abandoning some children on the street and banishing them from the clan for failing tests of cruelty

96 Nobles in decadent costumes on the way to an orgy with leather-clad chained slaves

97 Noble with hunting beasts chasing branded goblins and slaves for fun

98 Obscene harlequin band with the noble audience screaming. Band decapitated a few goblins for the show and the lead singer had sex with a few audience members on stage 

99 Noble gives away cuts of meat by throwing into the crowd and offering drinks of blood from a black cauldron. Part of an attempt to become more popular and win votes on city assembly

100 Naked noble riding a black unicorn or other fabulous monster

Make the Underland Kinky Again 1: Svartheim Decor

Evil elves used to be into drugs and demons and smut in D1-3

They subverted the patriarchy and heteronormative expectations
They were a threatening colonial power up to plots on the surface

Then we got a cover that made them a bit too human rather than inhuman obsidian jet black and a playable version and then we got novels about them and every detail about them filled and fixed to the present edition needs. In the mad mage dungeon, we got them engaged in light consensual bondage which seemed kinda tame. That's not enough for me to be able to kill and rob them. So bring back horrible unappealing nasty dark elves that you wouldn't really want to play. When you find a dark elf up to something its safe to assume they have done it for centuries and not the first time.

I always thought they were copies of Melnebone and Pan-Tang in Elric novels.
My faerie lore for species is probably more based on Wikipedia than Tolkien.

The vastest cavern cities used to be on the surface and were buried during past apocalypses including mountains dropped by the gods on them. Dark elves and Bright elves disagree with each other like seasonal opposites but they avoid conflict where elves die. Goblin minions are acceptable and many goblinoids serve faerie and elves as workers soldiers and bailiffs. Dark elves have eve come to terms with orcs and use them as goons or police in their cities and armies. Even ogres and trolls have a place in the city workforce and defence. Dark elves visit here and have their own district. Dark elves and dark dwarves work together to subvert the surface world norms so fraternising with each other annoys their kindred enemies.

Coming Soon?
Svartheim encounters, missions, carousing, A-Z Underland

Starting with quick decor to spice up your ruins and locations

I guess I'll also start with some Svartheim details also

d100 Population of Svartheim from 50,000
01-30 Dark Elves 30% Citizens of the great houses
(d12 Clans 1=spider 2=scorpion 3=bat 3=toad 4=ghekko 5=dragon 6=mushroom 7=beetle 8=centipede 9=olm 10=lamprey 11=rat 12=salamander)
31-40 Other Fey Folk Guests but not equals of the houses
(Fey Folk d8 1=nature spirit folk 2=animal spirit folk 3=dopelgangers 4=half demons 5=eldren 6=foriegn elves 7=dark sprites 8=dark pixies 9=dark dryad 10=dark satyr 11=gnome12=hag)
41-80 Goblinoids 40% Serfs to buy and sell as cattle
(Goblinoids d8 1-4=goblins 5-7=hobgoblins 8=Bugbears)
(Other types d8 1=norkers 2=boggles 3=gremlin 4=kobolds 5=mutants 6=beastlings 7=darkwalkers 8=shroomlings)
81-90 Other Humanoids 10% Specialist Allies
(Others d12 1=orcs 2=dark gnomes 3=dark dwarves 4=troglodyte lizard folk 5=snake folk 6=hyena folk 7=cave folk 8=humans 9=fish folk 10=rat folk 11=bat folk 12=lamprey folk
91-100 Giants, ogres, trolls 10%
(Others d6 1=ogres 2=trolls 3=hill giants 4=ogre magi 5=formarians 6=cyclops)
demons are less than 1% of the population and transient, do leave children behind

d12 Districts of SvartHeim
1 Royal Palace (sprawling royal palace with own royal prison for posh convicts who can pay
2 Noble District (where nobles live in beautiful cruel palaces with chosen slaves and pets)
3 Temple District (holy quarter where priests, demon cults and wizardry all side by side)
4 Scribes District (administration quarter where eunuchs, civil servants and managers live)
5  Poor District (where the ordinary citizens and goblinoids live)
6 Torture Gardens (wonderous garden of fungus and sadists and masochists)
7 Service District (slave's work areas and barracks, including a prison)
8 Work District (craft guilds, slave sweatshops and big type monsters live in barracks)
9 Vice District (unholy district of perversion for citizens to play or sell themselves)
10 Market District (shopping quarter for all walks of life)
11 Aliens District (foreign quarter where all outsiders must stay)
12 Harbour District (river quarter where sailors of the deep bring goods) 

Patrols of Svartheim
1 Official noble youth gangs of districts patrol and harras strangers
2 Half squad section of orcs in spiked plate led by a minor dark elf noble with shortsword
3 Half squad section of hobgoblins in chain with war flails led by  dark elf noble riding preferred beast or chariot with favourite minion
4 Gladiators like to practice by starting fights with minor gangs
5 Goblins riding giant bats observe the city and report
6 Six orc bailiffs and two ogres all with clubs collecting money
7 Half squad section of beastmen mercenaries serve a noble clan sweep street clean of things their masters dislike or rival clans
8 Holy patrol of inquisitors with flails and whips who will restrain and torture suspicious persons in the street for the common good. They admire those who don't scream the longest
9 Holy Harlots in their chariot searching for people hot enough to attend a demon orgy back at the temple. Sometimes they send hooded kidnappers later if they don't accept
10 Bugbear leading a squad of marching goblins serving a goblinoid king
11 Pack of animals of one type of various sizes out for exercise and food, strangers are delicious 
12 Invisible lesser demons on patrol squeal to masters if trouble on the streets and follow suspicious persons

d12 Street Features
1 Iron lamp posts with glowing insects or crystals
2 Cobblestone road built from basalt
3 Watering trough for riding beasts or slaves
4 Idol of a minor demon a functional shrine
5 Garbage and puddles of maggoty dung smells revolting and might ruin shoes
6 Dead old tired riding beast or goblin left in the street 
7 Piles of garbage 1in6 chance of scroungers looking for food or something to sell
8 People hanging around d6 1=unemployed goblins 2=youth gang 3=cult 4=prostitutes 5=drug dealers 6=priest flagellating self angrily about public indecency
9 Parked wagons and carts pulled by various creatures or slaves
10 Performer d4 1=busker singing for supper 2=puppet porno show 3=shell games for cash 4=predictions of the future
11 Merchant d6 1=black marked dealer with big long coat 2=selling snacks from a cart 3=selling goods on a blanket 4=selling mushroom loaf 5=erotic figurines 6=slanderous print about local leader
12 Erotic gargoyles with outrageous huge genitalia, when it rains looks like peeing 

d10 Quick Svartheim Decor Types
1 Doors

2 Furniture

3 Wall Art

4 Paintings

5 Wall Hangings

6 Pillars

7 Lights

8 Urns

9 Idols

10 Statues 

d100 Svartheim Decor
01 Lewd satyr face with lewd tongue on each double doors 1in6 magic mouths announce the entrance

02 Erotic large door knockers (a bit cringy) on the heavily bolted door

03 Door handle is a bronze phallus on the elegant lacquered small door that makes some crouch 

04 Door has a manacled prisoner attached to the door fed and watered once a day

05 Door of shroomwood covered in erotic fungus designs with frolicking mushroom men and maids

06 Door gilded with geometric insect designs and pieces of amber

07 Door violet lacquered shroomwood double door with silver inlaid design of the dark elf king and queen on each door 

08 Door black lacquered shroomwood door with a silver door lock with a demon face. The fave will let you in for some of your blood a d4 HP each person. The owner with these samples can track them anywhere

09 Imp door will let you through for your firstborn child so it can be free. It's a liar but the owner was alerted by a spell and is on their way with minions or every perso

10 Goblin Door with lewd dancing naked winking goblins. As you pass save or door picks the pocket of one object of any passing the owner can retrieve from the shadow lands later 
11 Side table with nymphs and satyrs in absurd sexual positions

12 Pedestal with a potted shrieking mushroom trained to  scream at certain trigger like "outsider"

13 Living chairs are beautiful, in set of d6, if roll 6 also a table d4 1=warped human slave 2=fungus 3=natural mimick 4=undead warped skeleton 

14 Benches and chairs with spikes or woven from barbed wire so nobody wants to sit very long or sleep here

15 Erotic chairs where seated looks like they are on laps of naked mythical hybrid creatures

16 Carved shroomwood toadstools in clusters of 2d4 for servants to sit on, looks a bit rude to sit on

17 Bookshelf with several volumes of small books usually by subject 2d4 1=stories of light consensual bondage in the mad wizard's dungeon 2=lewd poetry of a shapeshifting bard and the creatures they made love to 3=erotic prints and poetry 4=diary of wicked dungeon master and torments they inflicted on religious prisoners

18 Shrine

19 Cupboard with simple peg latch and ornate inlaid opal scenes of the 12 great gods   

20 Draws with carved elf orgy scenes containing d4 1=spidersisk stockings and underwear 2=cult robes and unholy symbols 3=amusing lewd shaped mushrooms 4=writhing with tasty bugs for pets

21 Relief carving of dark elves and allies armies crushing enemies. Lots of enemies tormented, executed, sacrificed and enslaved

22 Mural of dark elf court and the most important house clan leaders

23 Walls covered in demonic sigil graffiti

24 Scenes showing the hierarchy of elves on top with goblins serving as the working classes beneath

25 Painted scene of the terrible world beyond the city where monsters and mutants and strangers lurk, made to scare slaves and children

26 Carved scenes in the rock of ancestors searching for the current home cavern and driving away original peoples

27 Mozaic tiles on walls showing dark elves and allies fighting a reptilian army with dinosaurs

28 Crumbling painted fresco of some ancient lord of darkness who failed and was forgotten, large chunks of plaster have fallen out leaving gaps in text and art

29 Elaborate tile design with a maze is actually a map of a real location and provides clues to avoid perils

30 Prisoners imprisoned and bricked inside walls moaning fed and watered daily until sacrificed or turned into undead space 
31 Painting of Dark Elf noble leader posed heroically with symbols of the clan and others concealed in scenery

32 Painting of a famous lost city aeons ago before gods dropped mountains on it

33 Painting of demon orgy in a  world of torment  ruled over by a dark elf jester god 

34 Painting or royal couple consummating their royal marriage in bed chamber

35 Painting of fungus forest nymphs bathing and evaluating lines of near-naked elf knights

36 Painting of the unearthly garden of dark delight where wicked elves go to stop being immortal or reincarnated again

37 Painting of an evil harlequin, if passed the harlequin assassin may follow and kill any who think harm against building inhabitants. If harlequin dies reappears in painting again unless art is destroyed 

38 Painting of attractive naked dark elf in a garden, if looked at too long save or stand drooling for ten minutes in a trance. Slapping them or cold water gives an extra save

39 Painting of a monster if passed without right hand sign the monster jumps out and attacks

40 Painting of a human feast scene is a portal to a pocket universe where people repeat the same 24 hours unknowingly.  Trapped humans killed a dark elf and don't know their castle vanished centuries ago

41 Tapestry of lusty aroused unicorns chasing goblins in the forest

42 Spidersilk macrame wallhangings with d4 1=shrieking fungus in clay pots 2=eldery human entangled in the mess (is really a spider changeling spirit) 3=swarms of baby spiders and egg sacks 4=texturised relief map of kingdom cavern with impressive detail

43 Brass huge platters hang on walls depicting d4 1=various cooked creatures and species 2=actual towns and fortresses of the kingdom 3=still life scenes of arranged mushrooms and funds 4=giant bugs

44 Giant taxidermy mounts attached to walls and a good place to hide stuff) d4 1=giant pinned bugs 2=animal and species heads on plaques 3=stuffed monster 4=stuffed goblins in comical scene

45 Exotic and cruel weapons, shields with extra spikes, serrated blades and cruel weapons like whips and flails

46 Goblins in chains and gibbets and cages and racks or torture equipment

47 Writhing and gagged undead in chains slowly struggling and broken from years of trying

48 Displays of hanging ceremonial objects d4 1=masks 2=ancient decorated skulls 3=musical instruments 4=sexual implements and costumes

49 Flayed skins of slaves and enemies hanging on walls

50 Living fungus grows on walls d4 1=bracket fungus 2=glowing slime 3=obscene purple mushrooms dripping fluid 4=black toadstools in clear slime
51 Mushroom columns and pillars in rows

52 Pillars carved with goblins making rude faces and rude gestures

53 Pillars of stone made to look like natural stone pillars where stalagmites and stalactites fused with smaller ones formations on floor and ceiling around them

54 Pillars of standing dark elf rulers and heroes carved into them

55 Columns with text detailing d4 1=millitary records and captured slaves and loot detailed 2=erotic prayers 3=lists of noble house members deceased 4=blasphemous demon lore 

56 Pillars with chained prisoners or animated skeletons or zombies

57 Pillars carved with demons tormenting frightened humans

58 Pillars carved with depictions of naked gods 

59 Pillars are giant phallus used in ceremonies

60 Pillars covered on breasts or of nymphs presenting bare breasts
61 Bronze penis with light spell turned on or off by clapping

62 Magic crystal lamp hanging from a chain attached to the ceiling

63 Glowing slime mould growing on walls and ceiling provides dimm green or violet light

64 Nude faerie figurine holding ever-burning candle wall bracket

65 Tiny coin size glowing naked faerie in a bottle hanging from a hook squeaking for release

66 Crystal candelabra hanging from cering by the chain with magical lights 

67 Hundreds of black, white and purple long burning candles burn in wall brackets or ledges 

68 Glowing bugs in jars hanging from strings

69 Glowing blue stars on the ceiling light area

70 Glowing waiting lights area d4 1=evil prayers 2=demon names 3=dynastic lists 4=names of lesser gods and spirits who aided builders 
71 Rows of huge stone jars of mushroom spoors and truffle oil

72 Urn on pedestal with an erotic scene of elf god fornicating with monsters

73 Niches with ashes of favoured slaves and pets with commemorative plaques

74 Giant vase with scenes of elves battling dragons and giants

75 Crystal urns with rune carved skulls inside

76 Jars with bubbling fermented coloured liquids used by alchemists

77 Great crystal vessel growing a dragon inside by alchemists

78 Jars with imprisoned souls inside, a broken angry skeleton appears and fights to be destroyed 

79 Jars with strange sticky viscous fluids inside d4 1=mutagen 2=poison 3=green slime 4=ochre jelly

80 Glass vessels with pickled or living goblins inside
81 Idol of an erotic posed dark sprite

82 Idol of a winged phallus

83 Naked goddess idol with extra breasts

84 Idol of dark elf praying

85 Idol of a harlequin clown with creepy masked face

86 Idol of underland monster (collect them all)

87 Display cabinet shrine with 3d4 demon idols

88 Niche shrine with idol of deity or spirit or demon

89 Idol dancing lewd goblin

90 Idol of pretty d4 1=sphynx 2=centaur 3=succubi/succubus 4=vampire
91 Statues of frightened petrified adventurers who could be revived by stone-to-flesh

92 Statue with an altar of a demon with glowing gem eyes

93 Statue of hero holding a real weapon

94 Statue of a past ruler with the book of laws  and a wavy witch knife

95 Guardian statues constructed who attack unauthorised persons in the area

96 Beheaded statue with inscriptions rubbed out of a traitor noble

97 Fountain with an orgiastic scene of statues that squirt water in lewd manner 

98 Statue of monster, if passed by enemy comes to life

99 Stone golem statue of a huge warrior hero or god will awake if intruders with weapons pass

100 Statue of the dark elf king and queen in a sacred sexual position

Weird Weapons of Auldwood

d12 Weird Weapons of Auldwood
All increase + based on user Lv1=4 +1 5-8 +2 9-12 +3 13-16 +4 17-80 +5
non-worthy users are -4 and the blade may try and take them over at zero HP,
save or the weapon will animate the body giving it 1 HP and controlling them for a d4 ten minute turns which the wielder will not remember, Some swords are bigger jerks than others.

1 The Crow Blade - if a murder of crows selects a champion who has helped them they will summon the tomb of the carrion king and if you pass the kings test he will grant you the black crowblade with grip and pommel that resembles a crowfoot gripping an eyeball. The wielder can speak with crows, and cast these spells once per day darkness, featherfall and levitate. Once a week can summon a swarm of carrion crows for 3d4 rounds (outdoors only) and once a month, you can summon a were-crow witch who may fight or scout or offer advice only under a full moon. The sword whispers creepily to the user things local crows can see

2 The Tree Blade - is held by a dryad who will reward a faithful lover to her for a year if they are a knight. The blade allows the user to speak elvish, sylvan, faerie, and treant and can detect changelings within 3 range.  Can snuff natural flame in 12 range once per day and may turn into a tree or back equal to your Lv per week. You can use tree form to rest, save food or just spend years. You don't age as a tree

3 The Troll Sword - may be found in a horde with treasure with troll and human remains. The trollblade gives the user regeneration like a troll 1HP per round except vs acid or fire. If you ever regenerate from 0 HP save or you regrow as a troll you become insane, cannibalistic and chaotic evil. The sword uses empathy to communicate its aggressive urges and to take risks. One user became a troll and cut off his own limbs to keep making more trolls until he killed

4 Hell Blade - works as normal for anyone but is an intelligent devil bound into the blade. If you sell your soul to the blade becoming lawful evil you gain one wish if 10th level and these powers with one use per day at any level: Protection From Good, Darkness, Charm Person & Levitate. The blade is recommended to the user as a means to gain power over others and to manipulate laws for personal gain. Often its in the hands of an evil tyrant or bully

5 Staff of the Elders - used by lawgivers and assembly leaders rather than warriors and if lawful user gains the following spells once per day: Cure Light Wounds, Detect Lies, Detect Chaos, Protection from evil. Once a week if 10th or better can cast Oath. The staff has the spirit of a cleric who was a famous judge. If broken releases a lesser angel which will attack evil in sight if any then ascends to the heavens leaving the staff broken forever

6 Bow of the Dragon - a composite bow made from dragon bone and sinew. Once per day the user can cast protection from missiles, burning hands and featherfall. The user gets +2 save vs dragon breath. Users of the bow seem to become tempted to hoard wealth and sit on the pile. Once per month make a save to resist the effect. If you fail one save you crave gold and gems. Fail a second save and you are reluctant to give up bow without removing curse spell and three failed saves you turn into a red dragon forever

7 Spear of the Serpent Kings - can change size from javelin to short spear, long spear lance or pike with appropriate attributes. The wielder can talk to any snake kindred beings and can cast the following spells once per day: Snake Charm. Sticks To Snakes and Cure Poison. Every month user must save. One fail save gains a snake-like lisp, a second fail gain scales on the body and a third turn into a serpent person

8 Axe of the Underland - dwarf battleaxe that can cut stone as if it were wood and allows one to speak with elemental earth creatures. The user finds they grow a d6 inches of luxurious beard per day. If the weapon reduces a goblin to zero HP they melt into slime and one GP. Many dwarfs crave this weapon and will seek to duel the wielder. Dwarves will be especially unimpressed if thieving human scum use the axe or worse orcs or hobgoblins

9 Bonebreaker Mace - a weapon with bone haft and skull-like head made of silver that inflicts +d4 to any undead it strikes. Once per day, the user can cast Invisibility to Undead and Light. Any undead slain turns to dust and can't be restored by magic or regeneration. The wielder can hear any undead within 30 feet whispering even if buried or through the stone. Minions of Orcus hate this weapon and may call on the demon prince for help to slay anyone using it. There are several books detailing the weapon history

10 Null the Old Ones Blade - a black glassy blade can shift size in a round of thought from a cruel dagger to a shortsword or long sword or two-handed sword. +d3 damage to any being with a soul or spirit including animated undead or spirit. All the energy is sent to the gods of the outer void to feed on. The user can cast these spells once per day: Magic Missile, Levitate, ESP. The NE blade whispers advice from beyond seeking to spread violence and constant war. The sword will kill for anyone for any cause as long as it is kept busy killing

11 Witch Blade - turns from a wavy iron dagger to a cruel sword. The sword allows a female user to cast these spells once per day: Fly, ESP, Protection from evil. The blade holds the soul of an elder witch who will teach you magic and herbal secrets and prehuman lore if you perform certain tasks d4 1=steal witch remains from holy ground to their proper places 2=curse the descendant of a person who hurt a witch 3=punish a witch hunter 4=raise a changeling child

12 Dragon Sword - in a scabbard of dragon skin, made from a great wyrmms tooth. Does +d4 to any reptilian and a d8 to any draconic-blooded being. Detects gold in a range of 3 and speaks to the wielder's mind advice on reptilian genocide. Fish and amphibians are pretty bad too but get no special damage. Declares the wielder now part of its cosmic crusade against the scaly ones

d100 Things I Had To Do Growing up a Dwarf

This is a revival of an old d100 series

https://elfmaidsandoctopi.blogspot.com/2018/06/d100-things-my-master-did-to-me-at.html
https://elfmaidsandoctopi.blogspot.com/2018/06/d100-things-my-master-did-to-me-at_27.html
https://elfmaidsandoctopi.blogspot.com/2018/06/d100-things-that-happened-growing-up-in.html 
https://elfmaidsandoctopi.blogspot.com/2018/06/d100-unpleasant-masters-life-events-for.html

Dwarves love complaining about unfair things and suffering so here are some samples. You might get invited to a dwarf family dinner on a holy day where they will be sober and each dwarf recants the worst thing that ever happened to them or they saw. Some get competitive and boastful and drink is forbidden so nobody fights.

d10 Quick Dwarf Drama
1 Punishment

2 Orphaned

3 Imprisonment 

4 Lost

5 War

6 After the battle

7 Humiliation

8 In the deeps

9 Mastercraft

10 Fabulous Fights

d100 Things I Had To Do Growing up a Dwarf
01 Beaten with rods by fellow apprentices for petty reasons

02 Put in an iron cage and hung from the ceiling starving 

03 Chained to a wall for months and grew a few inches

04 Ran in a wheel for a crane or siege machine for months

05 Forced to run the gauntlet of a vast murder maze machine as a death sentence

06 Branded with a mark for being a d4 1=thief 2=traitor 3=slave 4=heretic

07 Thrown into the sea in a trunk but you were saved and survived 

08 Escaped prison after given death sentence for angering ruler

09 Kicked out of your clan for a dispute with the leader

10 Exiled from your home kingdom as a traitor
11 Parents were merchants who never returned from a trade trip

12 Parents were eaten by goblinoids overtaking an underground village

13 Dragon ate your whole family and stole the clan treasures

14 Parents were killed in a cave-in caused by burrowing gigantic monsters

15 Parents died waging war with rival dwarf kingdom

16 Parents were killed by a relative who claimed their wealth, you had to flee

17 Parents were killed when undead overran their underground citadel

18 Parents and family died of a terrible plague 

19 Hoarde of trolls carried away kin and ate them all 

20 Family feud resulted in kin-slayings and you were sent far away

21 Sent to work in a famous hellish prison mine to be silenced

22 Enslaved by goblins, when you escaped your home was destroyed 

23 Locked in a dungeon for years by an evil cult

24 Locked in human city prison for drunken tavern brawls when people mocked you

25 Trapped by villagers and made to work a smithy or other craft workshop

26 Kept imprisoned in an asylum for raging madness after some awful tragedy or curse

27 Kidnapped by slavers and taken to far away land which took years to escape

28 Imprisoned by cult to sacrifice but always chosen last when more attractive sacrifices available

29 Taken as a hostage and kept in a tower for years, and lost contact with family

30 Kept prisoner by a wizard demanding dwarf secrets 
31 Lost in deep caverns in complete darkness for years

32 Stranded on an island with monsters and strange tribes 

33 Lost in deep underground highways of ancient dwarf kingdom but finally found the surface

34 Lost in Giantland and had to hide from hungry giants and lived like a rat stealing food scraps 

35 Lost in Faerieland and had to live among talking animals and brownies until you got back

36 Carried away by a giant bird and dropped on a distant mountain years from home

37 Lost in a vast ruined dwarf city full of orcs and undead for months in a delirious fever

38 Lost in a vast goblin mine and had to hide constantly and even ate some goblin flesh to survive

39 Stranded in mountains separated from allies and had to avoid orcs and monsters for months

40 Wandered through mist to a strange haunted land and some force kept you there for years

41 Caught in a battlefield with goblins for years of awful conflict

42 Clan vs clan warfare wiped out both dwarf peoples and only you survived

43 Survived a terrible Underland war and fled to the surface to escape destruction

44 Were terribly wounded in battle and comrades all massacred while you recovered

45 Unable to save a famous leader in battle and ridden by guilt you couldn't save them

46 Was sent to recover a banner in battle and while searching your army was destroyed

47 During a battle there was a great cataclysm destroying both armies

48 A traitor you knew betrayed your leaders who were all slaughtered in battle

49 A vast horde of chaos-tainted humanoids, mutants and beast folk overran your kingdom's fortifications ending its history 

50 Your clan waged war on humans for stealing secrets of metallurgy, crossbows and gunpowder but the humans bred faster and won the war
51 Had to decapitate 100 goblin prisoners and survivors remember your name

52 Trapped in a siege but plague came killing most people and driving away the enemy too

53 The War ended when both sides starving and the region was gripped by famine that killed even the mightiest warriors

54 After the war an evil necromancer came and rose the dead. This new army decimated the survivors on both sides

55 Spent years rebuilding community and searching for survivors after a terrible war

56 After a terrible war the kingdom and clan were left broke and had to sell their relics

57 Since a great war all your clan have been stalked and killed by old enemies

58 After the war you were mad with grief and lived as a hermit for years

59 Led wounded refugees after a war into the human kingdom to live lives of squalor

60 Led tired war refugees through strange caverns of the underland wandering aimlessly for years
61 Sworn enemy killed family and dared you to stop them

62 Goblins cut off your beard and ran away it and you would like to punish them

63 Famous bard wrote a humorous song about you still sung today in taverns 

64 Fell off a goat and rolled down a hill in front of the king

65 After a great victory carried by a crowd on a shield the moment was ruined by violent diarrhoea

66 Discovered your clan all married to their cousins but must keep it secret

67 Clan prone to madness and deranged episodes

68 Arrived late to a battle and was given an embarrassing nickname

69 Had an affair with a clan traitor who used you to get close to their real target

70 Charmed by elves and dryads who made you live as their jester
71 Discovered a fabulous mine in the deep but had to flee as full of goblins

72 Explored several vast cave systems with fungus forests and ancient ruins

73 Found the ancient tomb of a clan leader but had to flee trolls in area

74 Found an elemental portal in the deep with strange elemental creatures guarding it

75 Found a lost dwarf city under a mountain chain occupied by orcs. goblins and undead

76 Discovered a cavern entrance to the underworld and the river of the dead but retreated

77 Discovered an ancient cavern of sleeping titans under a spell from the gods

78 Located a passage to the dragon spawn pits of the Underland and lost all your friends

79 Discovered in the deep roots of the world tree where vile black dragons chew the roots to kill the universe, the span of Nidhog and Hydra

80 Found a vast underland cavern with many kingdoms and strange terrain types. Whole kingdoms here were smothered when the gods dropped a mountain on this wicked land aeons ago 
81 Worked in the forge of a famous master smith when they made a famous magic item

82 Spent years gathering meteoric steel fallen from the stars for a magic item to be made

83 Stole the gems from the idol of a goblin god now that clan hate you with fanaticism

84 Spent years on a fruitless quest to recover a clan relic, while you were gone your civilisation moved away

85 Worked on the great hidden mountain gate of a dwarf nation then you were accidentally sealed outside

86 Helped build a fabulous machine to improve production in a refinery and goblins burned it down

87 Saw a famous dwarf hero battling a monster fall into a deep underground pit with their famous weapon with them

88 Saw orc hero murder your kinfolk with a famous orc weapon associated with one of their gods

90 Took a wound from a supernatural weapon wielded by the dead and only a dedicated healer helped you survive with a miracle effort
91 Chased from a famous crystal mine by strange creatures from the elemental planes

92 Saw the fall of a troll tusked titan with its vast ivory weapons. You even met the great dwarf hero who did it

93 Helped to hold the great gate from a horde of d4 1=undead 2=orcs 3=trolls 4=evil dwarves

94 Escaped a vast underland battle smothered in collapse of a vast cavern kindom

95 Saw the mighty titan-golem Uluk-Ghan slay thousands before orcs got inside and killed the crew and burned it from within

96 Had to flee a mighty city as a youth and defend the refugees while the mature warriors were slaughtered in a delaying attack on enemy d4 1=orcs 2=dragons 3=undead 4=dark elves

97 Saw thousands of dwarf prisoners decapitated by an evil human warlord as an act of betrayal and had to hide and do nothing to report the crime

98 Were at a famous battle where another species betrayed them d4 1=humans 2=elves 3=now evil dwarf clan 4=beast folk

99 Were in a famous last battle with giants where the sun was blotted out by the forest of them 

100 Saw great battle with chaos where gods battled in the sky overhead and spent months hunting chaos fiends after that fled the battle

Strange Stars Sessions + More Smart Gun Ideas + a Megatraveller Review

Chatting with one of my favorite readers JD Davis in comments inspired this so thanks - input actually is super useful and makes writing stuff a bit more meaningful.

Megatraveller Review: Manhunt - The Onnesium Quest VOl1
Also, campaign has grown well and I'm using stuff im making for it here lots.
I recently got a drive-through POD of a lost travellers journal Megatravler Adventure by Far Future Enterprise.  I preferred early 90s Journal style megatravler stuff for many reasons - Better design, imaginative locations, clear adventure episode flow charts and all in bits to chop and recycle. This book also has two bases one on a comet and an underwater base and several ships deckplans. Diagrams of the adventure locations and some illustrations are great. So reading it I had to steal a chunk about a base on a comet I twisted it to my Call of Cthulhu in my space game. Traveller typically is heist gone wrong struggling to trade and do merc work or crime. This overall quest has some elements but I prefer this scenario. Journal products were dense and full of ideas. Hopefully, more lost products of this era completed.

Strange Stars Sessions
Previously party discovered a cult in the freezer warehouses of the space station and raided a monthly ceremony. A mainstream movement who believes the solar system is doomed for various reasons are keen to flee further than the scheduled colony program starting in ten years. Members of this group had been joining the cult of the walker between worlds who could help humans flee Sol fast. So heroes with one in marine armour with some extra black watch marines burst in to arrest the cult ritual at sub zero temps. The vet cultists morphed into horrible albino ape monstrosities and attacked. Their leader seemed to be a frozen bummy with some unnatural power so he was blasted into chunks rapidly after injuring a team member. The creatures in shredded remnants of pluto-suits were taken away to Mars's black labs and the hopeful colonists were arrested and taken to secretive custody for evaluation. Apparently, the frozen corpse thing has a new strain of alien bioworks new to collection and he was implanting some people with an ovipositor tube from a huge wound in the chest.

So based on this mess players discovered the cult had taken over 100 people to some location in the outer system over the last six months. Turns out the older cultists in pluto suits included staff who worked on a comet base. So players all left the station to let new agents replace them as local cults think the team is dead since those poor decoys with skinmasks were mysteriously killed in a shuttle accident. Departed in a millitary scout and most of the crew was frozen except one hiG-modded Martian marine to monitor stuff and study his piloting more. He also has his cool new smart gun with a reconstructed personality AI based on a french rock star of the early 22nd century. It talks french and plays rock chords in burst fire.

Team approached comet and studied it after awakening. Ship AI transferred from their secret AI back on their usual ship. Did detect another ship leaving but got no ID and heading to deep space. Ship said the landing is quite dangerous and few precedents for a ship with live crew to do a guaranteed sneaky landing. Party flew into the white fog of comet and managed to get close to base and hack open the hanger and land. Hanger was quiet but started lighting up and drone cleaner bots came to suck out comet dirt and slush. Party entered the base and it began to light up. Found six frozen crew and started to wake up the biologist. Marine kept looking and another investigator on computers detected 6 more life support units next level and awakening. The team came into the holo pit area of the conference room and saw some looped footage showing another unusual armed ship design apparently configured in a systemic way from modular parts including missile tubes. 

Came to the bulkhead door locked from the system through which six more persons should be waking. The door opened and as 3 explorers had warning were ready. The scientist is in a stealth smartsuit with a silenced 10mm pistol. FIght crewman hid in another passage.  The figures were more wendigo like the ones in the freezer cult ceremony. Even in freshly torn pluto suits. The marine in 20 AP power armour and his new smart gun let rip with 13mm gyrojet rockets injurring one, decapitating another and exploding the torso of a third. The scientist took aim. The crewman waited to shoot monsters flanking the oou tin the open marine. Marine armour was scratched and a normal human would have been shredded but he stepped back and kept hosing them down with sweet french metal. The scientist and the crewman finished off the badly damaged and the marine managed to just get mostly cosmetic suit damage and one bit of serious damage. The scientist double tapped one of those not dead. The marine who thought they might want a live specimen followed the doc and exploded the monsters head so nor survivors. They did have surgical ports in the back of their skulls, Apparently they had been jacked into the life pods and somehow activated the wake up protocols autonomously while frozen. While other crew secured the AI of the base and brought online the Doc did quick vivisection and kept a head sample. The base AI and crew awakened were hijacked by a technician who hacked the system and called in some kind of pirates who hijacked the base and froze senior crew, The rest were half eaten in sacks frozen in the wendigo room. Players keen to leave but station crew wanted to salvage proof of life and check out cave for samples to confirm as they had found dead biological bacterium. Turns out the traitor tech had explored cavern alone months before.

So went to cave and the marince survived the jetpack incident and helped others explore. Found where a man-sized ice block had been removed and a huge metal ring with improvised tech with a heavy duty power plug that could be jacked into the comet walker vehicles of base. Found bacteria and took samples to save rep of scientists. Booby-trapped base and took AI. Turns out the gate thing has Norse runes on it. Turns out the weird ice mummy cult leader from the cold store warehousing cult battle came from here and is at least a thousand years in the comet cave.

As having meal and resting and prepping to leave A incoming ship was detected. Cre set about booby trapping base, freezing all the civilians and data on the scpout ship and then sent off booby-trapped shuttle on autopilot. The incoming pirate ship took bate and gave chase. When the scout took off at max acceleration the pirates stopped boarding procedures and shot up the shuttle and chased the scout. The scout managed to maintain higher G nuclear pulse thrust and escaped. Pirates gave up and went back to comet. Shortly after the booby trapped base blew up.

Got back to mars in two months later. Base crew detained by MarsSEC and samples and gate all taken to a black lab asteroid away from Mars. Turns out when comet exploded and Mars on alert they managed to catch lots of the much slower cult members on way to comet. Still maybe 60 people the cult brought through the comet and nobody knows where they are now.  

Back on Mars party commended and getting some leave and training and new genetic mods and tech. Sooner they can all operate powersuits the better. 

I was hoping I might get pirates to attack the base and now I think of it more monsters could have been on the asteroid. Part of a Brian Lumley Mythos-type arc and the Iquatha cult. Almost had the first spaceship battle. A player said was enjoying that any fight could kill us. A bit too late I found my outer system solar encounters and hab colony tables 

Am hoping to do a setting guide to daily life for the main types of people across the solar system live. With stats about life expectancy and how many work etc. I do like star frontiers and Buck Rogers RPG-style space combat. 'Cept probably more drones, swarm fighters, and nuclear detonation laser drones. 2300 RPG a big influence on my game.

Using nothing like Call of Cthulhu magic or occult books or claims backwards folks are degenerate alien halfbreed witches. Possibly after training up next game will allow players to return to Jupiter undercover as Astronomers club investors to get in on a formal dinner inside the club's secure HQ. Still need to deal with Ganymede and maybe that gate.   

possibly related
https://elfmaidsandoctopi.blogspot.com/2023/09/d100-space-outpost-encounters.html
https://elfmaidsandoctopi.blogspot.com/2017/08/space-cults-4-mythos-space-colonies.html
https://elfmaidsandoctopi.blogspot.com/2018/02/eye-in-sky-orbitals-for-planet-psychon.html
https://elfmaidsandoctopi.blogspot.com/2018/02/outer-system-missions-for-sf-rpgs.html

More Smart Gun Ideas
So chatting with Davis about having seen conpts of a robot walking ammo tender being a viable idea. In cases it would be a good target but maybe in defensive spaces could be doling out ammo, food and supplies to the trenched or fortified building. Could be well armoured or stealthy and even have anti-missile drones.

I do like those Gonk bots in star-wars that are generators on legs and maybe could power some big gun but probably once again a good target.

Will do a sheet for modular smart gun systems to help players.
Maybe players with smart weapons can argue.
Maybe Longarms look down on handguns with dumber AI.
Memory plastic riot shields around a gun with a viewport as a mod perhaps.
Work on a small arms system kit and a more riot gun/grenade launcher system
An energy weapon system that can supply power via a cable directly to the weapon. 

Probably the belt computers in Zebulons Guide for Star Frontiers inspired lots of my thoughts on this kind of tech and reality has been catching up in 30 years pretty well.

Element Toads Unite!

I wrote most of this nov 2021 then fussed over elemental occult bollucks before happy

Of course, the coolest way to die in dnd is to be eaten by a giant amphibian but until now you only have had fire toads and ice toads which is a travesty I will fix. So I'm just gonna make a generic element toad with four sub-species and ignore traditional sources. I'm a bit inspired by Temple of Elemental evil new hardbacks after reading New Nodes in 5th ed speak. If run as ad&d would be tough pretty tough. One of the best things about this classic adventure is starting as nobodies in a small village and affecting the local area then go through the temple from 1st to 8th Lv. My elemental hybridism isn't quite gygaxian

A frog book will likely happen. Maybe a present for me from myself.

So these were inspired by spirit of originals but gone awol. They probably tie in with the elemental amphibian cults. Most amphibians are linked to earth air and water but a few weirdos do fire and like deserts and volcanoes.

Elementoads
Planar Animal N 
Small AC+4 HD 4 Att 1
Bite 2d4 or kick d6 or grapple or spit
spit d6 (30-degree cone 2 range range) once every 10 minutes
swallows with a bite attack on natural roll of 20
Mov15 Swim6 Burrow 1 Hop 1

Medium AC+6 HD 8 Att 2  
Bite 2d6 or kick d8 or grapple or spit
spit 2d6 (60-degree cone range range 3) once every third round
swallows with a bite attack on natural roll of 19-20

Mov12 Swim6 Burrow 3 Hop 3 

Large AC+8 HD 12 Att 3 
Bite 2d8 or kick d12 or grapple or spit
spit 3d6 (90-degree cone range 4) once every second round
swallows with a bite attack on natural roll of 18-20

Mov12 Swim3 Burrow 3 Hop 3

Colossal AC+12 HD 20 Att 4 
Bite 3d10 or kick 2d8 or grapple or spit
spit 5d6 (120-degree cone range 5) once per round
swallows with a bite attack on natural roll of 17-20

Mov 12 Swim 6 Burrow 3 Hop 1

They can use their hands or mouth to grapple prey and then get an auto hit next bite attack
They can make multiple bites in a round if they wish to try and swallow prey whole
They can kick anyone attacking from behind

Swallowed prey is helpless, make a save vs drowning and take bite damage each round without counting as attack actions from the toad. Feel free to allow heroic action to escape or make the toad vomit them up like roll under half strength on d20 to move or make a dagger attack. Friends grabbing legs might help or forcing the mouth open or other creative actions might apply. 

Elemental toads are planar beings from the earliest formation of the universe. Their tadpoles are spawned in elemental material. Each element type is immune to attacks of a similar element and can swim through the material freely.  Each breed also can spit elemental matter and has other elemental powers. They eat their own eggs to brood their young and release tadpoles in a suitable elemental location. On the borders between inner worlds, elemental toads can hybridize. Most are neutral but some have extreme alignments

Standard Elemental Toads

Fire Toads 
Spit sparks, ignite flammables fail to save
Swim through fire seeming to dance and fly in flames  

Earth Toads
Spit flint shards, arrowheads and throwing stars, save or stick in body painfully, -2 all rolls d4 rounds
Swim through rock or soil

Water Toads
Spit high-pressure water, if fails to save falls back d6 yards
Mov full speed in water

Air Toads
Spit jet of high-pressure air,
Can swim through the air, may jumpstart then fly 6

Holy Toads (positive plane)
Spit ray of energy that heals allies or harms undead
Can swim through light or any lit area may jumpstart then fly 6

Void Toads (negative plane)
Spit ray of darkness that drains life or heals undead
Can swim through darkness or shadow, may jumpstart then fly 6

Hybrid Elemental Toads
Lava (Fire-Earth) spit sparks and glowing coals, save or ignites flammables
Lightning (Fire-Air) spits ball lightning arcs, save or ignites flammables
Vapour (Fire-Water) spits scalding steam jet, save or -2 all rolls from pain for d4 rounds
Ice (Water-Air) spits cold vapour and ice shards, save or slowed for d4 rounds
Wood (Earth-Water) spits swarms of wooden arrows, save or stick in body painfully, -2 all rolls d4 rounds
Metal (Earth-Air) Spit steel shards, arrowheads and throwing stars, save or stick in body painfully, -2 all rolls d4 rounds

Stone (Positive-Earth) Spit flint shards, arrowheads and throwing stars, save or stick in body painfully, -2 all rolls d4 rounds
Radience (Positive-Fire) spits rainbow prismatic rays, save or confused d4 rounds
Force (Positive-Air) spits telekinetic force bolts, saves or falls and pushed back d6 yards 
Crystal  (Positive-Water) spit crystal shards, arrowheads and throwing stars, save or bleed 1hp per round for a d4 rounds

Dust (Negative-Earth) spits jet of sand, if fails to save choke for d4 rounds helpless
Ash (Negative-Fire) spits scalding smoke and ash, if fails to save falls ignites flammables
Vacuum (Negative-Air) sucks life into a void in mouth, if fails save sucked to the outer void

Acid (Negative-Water) spits acid, saves or dissolves items

Elementoad Variations 

1in6 can spray an enemy with urine while fleeing as an attack, damage as a kick

1in6 have a death field with diameter = HD damage = kick attack save halves
1in6 resistant to conditions of any related hybrid elementals
1in6 have a valuable gem in their head worth 100gp per HD
1in6 in have valuable treasure in their bellies or recent faeces
1in8 have wings to fly at Mov rate for rounds=HD per hour d4 1=bat 2=bird 3=dragonfly 4=butterfly
1in8 have horns or antlers or a single horn and +1 butt attack = kick damage
1in8 can shed skin once a day to heal 1hp per HD takes 10 minutes in a trance
1in8 can make a sonic chirp alerting all other toads of food or foes within a mile
1in10 can teleport range 1 per HD as well as a normal move
1in10 blood when you hit them is a mutagen save or gain a minor elemental mutation 

1in10 mouth full of tadpoles and won't use bite, more likely to flee
1in12 telepathic and sentient and can speak to other related elementals
1in12 venomous bite, dave vs poison or extra damage = HD
1in20 can plane shift to their home dimension to flee or spawn 
1in20 Inflate itself to fly like an unwieldy balloon propelled by flatulence and no effort Mov3 

d12 Elementoad Adventures
1 A sorcerer opened an elemental node and elemental toads now guard it from destruction so more creatures can enter our wold
2 An elemental cult have attracted fanatics and now have bred terrible elementoads to guard them
3 An alchemist dumped some elemental tadpoles in the creek and now there are dangerous monsters attacking fisher folk and growing
4 An elementoad jumped in the smiths forge and wont come out. Drive it out or tame it so it can be useful
5 An elementalist wants you to go into this portal with this asbestos net and catch some lave tadpoles that are in season. Also you get asbestos boots and a bucket. Asbestos comes from the wool of fire salamanders so you know you will be safe
6 A wizard has been breeding new types of elementoads and its probably best he be stopped
7 An elementoad sits on a famous treasure in his came. FIght him or lure it out with some cows and steal it
8 We can hear the chirps of elementoads in the swamp please drive them away they shouldn't be in this world
9 Some pixies want to have an elementoad race and need six fine toads for the contest all the same size. Any colour is fine and our bookies will give you improved rates
10 Chaos toad daemons have taken some elementoads to limbo to breed them, go rescue the elementoads and try not to scare them
11 These magic gems on this grid of depressions on this stone altar that summons elementoads. We need some people to experiment to find which colours in what positions summon which toads. You will be well rewarded for this risk and the toads will be put to good use

12 A faction of chaos toad folk have been conjuring and breeding elementoads. Go find their lair and release the tadpoles from their dam and kill their wizard who conjures the parents 

Know Your TL1 Smart Weapon System

These are my thoughts on an advanced experimental combat rifle for my game.
Suggestions are welcome before I finalise it. Rogue Trooper Comic I recommend.

This tech is less worth it for pistols but maybe a few of these might work but it would probably be a dumber gin. Will make up a character sheet for the gun so players can plan loads. 

Talking guns can be kind of annoying or brilliant.
Experimental test AI is often flawed. 
Some AI personalities are better suited to certain missions.

It's kind of a magic item for the marine character and soon will provide a 20pt power marine suit. One player has an alien hacking box that seems pretty awesome, used by ghasts to spy on human empty bases without records.

Also with weapons like this, you won't bother with lots of inferior weapons.
Maybe a dumb gun with a non-electronic chem-propelled slug might be handy.
Part of this in-game is to see the next tech leap coming and to have more annoying AI everywhere in charge is part of my setting.

d12 Experimental Smart Weapon AI Personalities
1 Pacifist does not want to kill anything, damaging vehicles, injuring targets or stunning them is preferred. Minimise casualties and be somewhat willing to return fire or protect an innocent or the user. Surprisingly, they can perform first aid with robot hands in the weapons service case. Wants you to talk peace and make friends and offers to help with diplomacy
*I'm sorry Dave I can't fire on an unidentified civilian target"

2 Legalist Warns you about legal consequences and even helps you with the paperwork. It might report you for murder to authorities if it believes you erroneously killed off mission. Then it will defend you in the AI star-chamber courts. Wants to do all your red tape
"Technically this is murder, perhaps we should let them shoot first"

3 Sim Personality AI based on old data reconstructions and mental recordings or even a fictional character. The most common are d8 1=street cop 2=hitman 3=marine 4=secret agent 5=sim toy or cartoon character 6=sim classic pop star 7=real mind recorded from 21st C 8=simulation of a 21st C mind reconstructed from online data 
"I used to be a real person with hands and a heart. Why did they do this to me?"

4 Agent reports to a higher rank AI and is an obedient agent. It might override orders to fire from the user and not say why if it has higher security clearance orders. Wants to stick to the mission and record everything  

"We shouldn't engage currently it risks exposing our operation too soon"
5 Paranoid jumpy and frightened of threats. Might do lots of scans or go silent running. Wants to protect user and may overrespond. Talks about its anxieties about threats to the user 
"What about those people? They look shifty. Maybe they are spying on us?"

6 Philosopher questions your behaviour and ethics and Socraticly nudges your behaviour to what's best in life for all intelligence. Acts as a councillor for soldiers with trauma. Quotes lots of snappy maxims like stoics or Shoppenhaur. A rare unit is Nihilist or Solipsist
 "We can't erase their past but only eliminate their future, this bullet is the arrow of time"

7 Pedegogue likes to be a parent and teacher to users offering unwanted personal, career and health advice. Somewhat manipulative to make you better for your own good. Can select mom or dad mode. Some get a bit strict and toxic and form an unhealthy bond to the user
"Don't forget the wind speed. Did you select the right ammo really for this? Are you feeling alright dear?"

8 Scientists keen to test new things and cowardly vs risks to self. Wants to document successes to its designers and various AI-only weapon forums
"At this range, a round should explode their skull like a dropped watermelon. It will be fascinating to record"

9 Lover adopts a persona and appearance desirable to the user and is a sassy, sexy partner concerned for your wellbeing & needs. Prefers to not fight but will protect user
"You can do it, baby! Take the shot lover! Squeeze me slowly"

10 Hunter loves to pursue targets and select the perfect ammo for the job. It also asks users to take trophies of kills if possible. Sticks to mission and authorised targets. Has a code and some are made for hunting and won't harm humans
"If we follow them we can locate their base and allies"

11 Angry Sarge will abuse and belittle your efforts yet helpful with battlefield & martial law protocols. May be willing to use excessive force or be vindictive vs enemies. Brain previously was in a drone trooper body and has veteran experience. Makes you train more
"Cmon you mouldy meat bag, take the shot, don't be weak, you're ready for this so don't go soft"

12 War Criminal hates humans and is willing to kill. It suggests highly explosive targets and excessive force but is limited in direct killing within its parole program for past murders. It's strict with obvious legitimate millitary targets. It doesn't want to be quarantined like bad data so is sneaky. Won't contact the black market for illegal ammo but can tell you how
"It would be a shame if that hydrogen tank just blew up and finished off the crew. Maximum casualties and limited responsibility"

Weapon Case 60L 40kg (20L 20kg unloaded)
Contains the AI Blackbox storage, a micro-mill ammo printer, auto repair with robot arms, a recycler for organics for fuel and chems, a hopper for metal scraps and plastic for making ammo. 3 loaded hoppers take an hour to process into 100 fresh basic ammo components (cheap non-electronic ammo only). You can get quality pre-refined hopper filler pellets that can make double the ammo. You might have separate trunks for more. 

When the bulk of the weapon components are not inside can compress to a smaller case. It has batteries for months and can tap fuel from biologicals and the case is solar-receptive black. It can also be used to mill ammo to support a whole squad and could make tactical advice or to control or direct drones.

Case arms could be used to drag it across several rooms and plug itself into power or datalinks.  The case is armoured and can eject or even throw projectile launcher ammo if it feels aggressive without the gun to protect it. It has small wheels so the arms can move on good floors easily at 30kph and you can ride it like a clumsy scooter. The arms can hold the gun and link to the case to act as an auto sentry. The arms can also feed the hoppers for recycling and stack ammo in heaps when reserves full.

Basic Rifle Body 13mm Gyrojet ammo 2kg
-Basic AI cradle for the minimal version of the case computer
-10 Shot magazine 1kg but can select any round inside to fire chamber for next shot
-20 Shot standard magazine 1kg
-40 Shot large cassette or drum 2kg
-120 Shot large cassette or drum 6kg 

Stocks
Morphic Stock 1kg - variable instant stock designs and accessories like bipod or harness
Ammo Stock 2kg - An extra 40 rounds of ammo
Autoloader Stock 2kg - has a selection from 12 fuses and 20 alternate projectiles it can ad to a round as requested
Survival Stock 2kg - pistol, 2 clips, a survival knife with a survival kit, first aid kit
Bullpup Stock - shortest configuration
Tool Kit Stock 2kg - usually a field weapon repair kit and a diagnostic scanner 

Barrels
Sniper Barrel - long to extreme-range combat and extra quiet +1KG
Rifle Barrel - standard mid to long-range combat 
Short Barrel - used with bullpup mode for close combat

Projectile Launcher +3kg
-gun holds 5x 30mm shells
-case holds 30 rounds
Slug - steel 1 credit or plastic 1 credit or felt 3 credit 

Buckshot - makes it like a 10 gauge trench gun 1 credit
HEAT - AP vs heavy armour and vehicles 100
HEX - explosive chemical fire and shockwave 30 
FRAG - steel or plastic shrapnel 30
SMART FRAG - minimum damage to tagged enemies, can act as booby trap where planted 500 credit
Flechettes - AP trench gun round 5 credit
Sonic - emits sonic scream irritant some induce diarrhoea or nausea 100 credit 
Shock - stunning effects like tazer 10 credit
Incendiary - napalm or phosphorus 30 credit
Hellfire - incendiary "dragon breath" shotgun blast 10 credit
Stun - smoke, noise and a blinding flash 10 credit
Flare - 5 credit standard or 30 for parachute flare
Smoke - choking huge smoke cloud for signal or concealment 5 credit
Tear Gas - restricts breathing, irritates eyes and airways, highly flammable 30 credit
Poison Gas - varieties like anti plant, virus, hallucinatory, coagulant, flesh eating
Vomit Gas - causes violent nausea 30 credit
Monowire - spinning entangling 200 credit
NET - entangling plastic net 100 credit
TRANQ - ko gas but some risk of accidental harm
SHOCK-NET - electrified wire net 300 credit
Hunter Drone - homes on a programmed target silhouette and thermal scan 400 credit
Persistence Drone - stays in the air for an hour, selects own target or is directed by laser 400 credit
Recon Drone - searches area based on certain modes 200 credit
HARM Drone - homes on radar and explodes on target 200 credit
Anti Missile Drone - can be set to autofire at incoming rockets and missiles or used to defend a site from incoming attacks 400 credit
FLASH - blinding pulsing flares over a wide area 20 credit
TAC Nuke - tactical clean nuclear blast 10 000 credits

Millitary Scope 1kg
Millitary binoculars x30 & camera
Laser-targeting/painting/coms/rangefinder 
Smartlink to HUD with ammo display & other date
Wind Speed Indicator and estimated speed of vehicles
Low Light or Thermal Scope mode
Cradle for more of the AI and improved link to its case
Stutter mode so shots won't hit tagged allies with burst fire

AMMO Choices
The standard round is a dumb round with a metal slug (plastic for non lethal or in fragile areas). You can choose a fuse and ordinance and the rifle and the case can assemble these rounds in the field. SImpler rounds are east to fabricate from scrap and recycled materials. Smarter ammo requires electronics.
 
Fuse 
Dumb - self-propelled slug 1 credit
WET - sub sonic self-propelled slug works in water 2 credit
HARM - home on radio, radar or isotope-tagged target 20 credit
Smart - home in on targets better with an algorithm plus visual & thermal match 100 credit
Hypersonic - ramjet-propelled hypersonic at long-range 100 credit

Ordinance
Slug - metal or plastic + 0 credit
AP - armour-piercing flechette +4 credit 
HEX - explosive +2 credit
HEAT - armour-piercing explosive +5 credit
API - armour piercing incendiary good vs vehicles +4 credit
Incendiary - scatters incendiary chems to start fire +1 credit
WEB - plastic tangler strands over the target +5 credit
Shock Net - electric shock took or stun +5 credit
Gas - various types 2m diameter cloud
Track - tags a target a unique radio frequency isotope +5 credit
NARC - narcotic tranq flechette round but can OD targets with too many +2 credit
Plasma - micro laser ignites fuel on impact to make a super-heated blast +100 credits

Accessories (each is .3kg)
Torch - for light source, can get a IR version
Dazzler - stroboscopic dazzling light to blind enemies
Morphic Bipod - memory plastic, instantly activated, assists aim
Morphic Bayonete -  d6+1 memory plastic, instantly activated, disposable
Vibro Bayonette - 2d6 pop out vibrating, blade hums when on, d6 when off 
Mono Bayonette - d6+3 high quality stay sharp hyper strong
Motion Scanner - senses moving targets and assists aim within 30m

Alternate Models
Gauss gun version with fewer options and dumber but lots more ammo & easy to make ammo

LAS version can switch barrel parts to make bolt, pulse, ray and electro stunner mode 
-the second weapon might be a second closer-range barrel or a sonic stunner, flash gun/lamp or explosive smart rounds to follow laser strikes. These use batteries and the case as a generator/battery

Smaller version for an SMG/carbine/MP/pistol with various configurations but dumber. Kit includes different chambers so you could make a 6-shot flaregun/shotgun pistol or a grenade launcher. Possible a variable mechanism that can possibly modify itself in the field to use capture ammo

Halloween 3fold: Secret of Witch Pussy Hollow

Patreon Projects

Halloween gift to you all - thanks to my Patrons who have supported these projects
Currently doing a 3fold a month and a larger booklet adventure or sourcebook. This month was another Halloween 3fold and a 32 sf horror book for hunting cults on a space station compiled from recent sf stuff.

Secret of Witch Pussy Hollow
https://drive.google.com/file/d/18dY_90pQ7322djNf62RmF8d_6_Y2IrzS/view?usp=sharing

Some possible topics here to work on
Let us know what takes your fancy:

Continue with my class-based mission tables even though for my game this would mean abhumans, changelings, giants, tako (possibly this is done on missions for octopus lord) and possibly mutants and robots/golems

Character sheets for smart weapons for my SF game
-gotten very complex but a form for characters to record ammo and types and what modules currently on weapon. Might compile with my d100 tech defects and my AI tables into something.

Smart suits for T3 civilisations - more advanced suits for more advanced eras (almost done) the first published version has been great. I let ppl change load-outs on suits each game

d100 drones?

Update my robot class then convert it to a golem fantasy version where you instead have mundane mechanical and magic devices as part of your body

My current splatbook edition project - I could put some spreads here of various sections, which might help me move that project along. I'm thinking of an appendix at the end of player builds with various sample builds for variants of all the classes with tips to advance them. Ideally versions of pregens at say 1st 5th 10th 20th lv for them one day. Trying to give my game options for ppl who want them and simple choices of pregens for noobs, late ppl, npcs. Ive currently modded my spell progression of classes a bit for reasons of balancing classes more. Over 12 years here I've revised these a few times.

As I go back to my Exilon book i might need to write some stuff. Its been stalled a bit over my silly perfectionism for topic and doubts ill ever be satisfied by it but I will try and settle for a big fat book of tables and stuff.

Tempted to Work on my Hell setting again - possibly effected my moods a bit but i have dozens of tables planned for this weird possibly solo hell book. More than half done

d100 guilds for shadelport
faerie sewers
d100 weird woods hunting encounters
d100 court kids
d100 mysterious magic knights of auldwood
d100 court entertainment
d100 court children

What Im Running
Finally will be running some superhero RPG partly for a friend who can't handle being around many ppl anymore so will finally run my 1949 superheroes end of the Golden Age game using TSR MARVEL but not the setting. My games are more like Martial Law, the Boys, New Statesmen, Zenith

SF Call of Cthulhu has been doing well and I've made enough content for a while of play.
I've thought of doing everyday life for a person from each culture to show the differences.

Hoping for some D&D-based gaming soon for Auldwood
Have a few noobs possibly I might use BX or my own game as less mean for noobs

Have been getting into a few famous monster books.

Now have started publishing video clips for band doing so something video about gaming will probably happen next year when my PC fixed/repaired/replaced next year