Sunday 29 September 2024

d100 Golem Vending Machines + gamelog







































Vol3 of chagrinspire draft & update of my homebrew book on patreon

Has a nice game

all hit 3rd level at last (we are in slow campaign mode)
Fearless Dogfolk - an abhuman hunter with a pet war dog
Theif - scavenger guildsman and dabbler in alchemy, has a older woman adventures rogue from city and a rat folk abhuman lady with a big spiked mace
Giant - now 7"6 tall mason with a maul recruited a jester bard follower a former village idiot
Priest of light templar recruited an acolyte fresh from the holy kingdom

A project I considered a possible time waster turned out well
doing a 6x 1st level characters for my homebrew as example builds 
turns out my players all turned 3rd lv and grabbed followers 
these sample builds turned out perfect as quick npcs and followers
so nice to have a project end up having an extra benefit

Occupied a fortress of the black sphere from bandits working with slavers via an underground train station. They took some tracks for the work fixing the fort and the platform guards went to sleep and the missing tracks had been replaced.

Divination detectives time!
-Did someone cast sleep on guards? - Y
-Did someone use invisibility? - Y
-Are they coming soon? - ambiguous 
-Are they here now? - ambiguous

Went to search the tunnel and blocked the surface to the tunnel passage and a staircase into their fortress cellar. The big main tunnel blocker was assessed and had somehow gone from 30-40 foot thick to under 10. The giant had mining and engineering skills and did tapping sound tests and was puzzled. Scavengers warned party dont mess with the secret masters of Chagrinspies property. A detect magic found a black button on train tunnel ceiling a link to a linked network of crystal balls made in chagrinspire acording to divination. They left it and a guard saw something funny and sprinkled sand on tracks that were vibration.

Retreated to stairs to the basement and ordered a cauldron of hot oil ready at the top. Hid and the priests cast some blessings. A battered train pulled up with kobolds pouring out. The priest spoke kobold and heard what they said. Also, head the speech of the train engine golem.

Kobolds saw party on the stairs and attacked. It was long and tricky and in one stage kobolds ran between the dog man and the giant's legs attacking second ranks and attacking front rank from behind. There was a stalemate at the platform swarming with kobolds. The dogman lit a fuse on an incendiary bomb and it cleared the bottom of the stairs. The rogue thinking this was good hurled an ancient grenaide and pulled the pin hurling it near the shaman and boss and killing almost 30 kobolds and clearing the stairs. The kobold hurled a poppet dolly with a poltergeist that moved dropped blood and weapons. Most of the party resisted and it went up stairs scaring basement defenders and an acolyte priest destroyed it.

Giant barged out and chased the shaman but was paralysed by a spell. The kobold shaman got into the train. Party and followers poured onto the platform routing the less elite surviving kobolds. While the party battled to take the armoured car and killed the shaman the rogue sneaked up to the engine that was now reversing and killed the crew and saw spirits leaving damaged controls. Tried to mess with them while party took the armoured car. Did some first aid and Kobolds sent a child to negotiate a truce. Priest and acolyte turned all the bound poltergeists in the golem engine stopping it and shutting it down. 

Met Kobold diplomat and fed some mud hog jowls and made a deal to trade and that they would let kobolds repair the train and the party would withdraw. Heard rumours of other train factions and the gnomes of the black sphere spying on everyone. 

Back at the fort kept expanding the village trade, repairs and recruited farmers and scavengers. Party own a fort now and the rogue is officially a guild master of the village.

I probably

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Vending Machine Golems
Reach usually has a face and a coin slot 
Some are more chatty roll on personality 

AC+20 HD 8-12 +2 weapons to damage Mov 6 with legs or 12 if wheeled
(less magical versions exist and are easier to damage and don't talk)

In official locations, machines are brutalist functional. Ones in public areas are more nouveau or deco and flashy. Possibly with neon lights, ornate signs and slogans, decorative elements and curves. Some have animal mascots or attractive humans or strange caricatures mocking foreigners as they looked thousands of years ago.  

Possibly all are surveilled for stock or attack by unseen forces
Not only part of a vast surveillance network but they can be security in emergencies and in most cases, cant be harmed, Some personalities are more likely to ask why you are looting a desk or robbing a corpses pocket.

d12 Condition
1 Mint condition and serviced often
2 Used and a few scuff marks from centuries of use and maintenance
3 Invisible wizard writing like graffiti tags all over
4 Bash marks from weapons or rival golems
5 G
raffiti tags all over
Splattered with blood and brains
7
 A few bullet holes and dents from battle
8 Rusted all over by some magical golem disease
Burned and seared by magical fire wary of spell casters
10 Battle damaged by magic explosions and gored by demons, repaired with barbed wire and chains
11
 Battered and held together with scrap from other dead machines, golem improvises its good and services prone to violent berserk outbursts 
12 Shambling scrap heap, eyes flicker up and golems face looks cold and cruel and in the mood to kill the masters or any fleshy humanoid scum

d12 Defences
1 Alarm rings or horn or siren 
call wandering monsters
2 Silent alarm calls automata or golem defenders or vassal troops troops
3 Pop out legs or wheel and flee, 2d6 anything in path
4 Self seals in armoured metal box
5 Arms and legs makes unarmed attacks
6
 Arms and legs holding melee weapons
Arms and legs holding firearms 
Arms and legs cast spells as a 5th level wizard
9 Fear Aura 3 range at will
10 Teleport Range 100 or depot 
at will
11 Force Box lasts an hour three times per day 
at will
12 Demon or elemental or other planar being released or summoned

d20 Personality
1 Grumpy - do hurry up! move along!
2 Nanny - its good for you, you really need it 
3 Sly - psst wanna buy something really cool?
4 Hustler - hey buddy check this out!
5 Kindly Mummy - oh darling I've got a treaty for you
6 Bad Daddy - hey wimp, you need this 
7 Patriotic - buy my stuff for victory! help the war effort!
8 Gloomy - it won't make you happy you know, nothing will
9 Pushy - hey wait a minute buddy you gotta see this!
10 Chummy - hi pal, just take a look while you tell me about your problems
11 Professor - our superior products are the most advanced available
12 Subversive -
 these products are 99% problem-free
13 Pushy - hey cmon buddy take a look and I'll let you pass
14 Manic - I've got loads of stuff you'll love ill tell you everything
15 Seductive - ohh I've got what stunner like needs to make you perfect
16 Slave - please masters look at my pitiful merchandise for just a second
17 Cheery - hey wanna dance with me? ive got lots of amazing goods you might like
18 Sad - please buy my goods, ill be demolished if I don't sell enough
19 Saucy - cor blimey, fancy any of my big whoppers, darling? 
20 Brute - buy my goods or die! none shall pass me without a purchase!





































d10 Types

1 Food
Collectables
Novelty
4 Toys & Tools
5 Games
6 What the butler saw
7 Divination 
Spell components
Tonics & Potions
10 Magic items

d100 Golem Vending Machines
01 Canned gruel dispenser - alchemical synthetic food ration in a can for one day of food and water. A rival brand of nutritious yeast globs or green algae-soy 2cp
02 Canned food dispenser many vegetables and various meals in a can 1sp
03 Army biscuit packs for a week - several flavours and various flavour sachets 2sp, self-heating meal 4sp 
04 Chocolate bars - with various fancy labels and strange foreign flavours d6+4cp
05 Tiny bottles of strong alcohol like rum or wine or health tonics d6+4cp
06 Small boxes of cereal or oatmeal and small boxes or pyramid tetra packs of long-life milk d6+4cp
07 Small bottles of beer with various fancy labels d6+4cp
08 Small jars of jam. sandwich spread, butter, sauces, salt, pepper, sugar, tea, coffee d6+4sp
09 Hot beverages including coffee, tea, soup with various additional options 
10 Can or bottles of soda in various flavours from across the world strange to modern peoples
11 Souvenier badges, code-rings, erasers, wooden rulers, temporary tattoos of the black sphere insignia, pencils, notebooks and sticker packs all depicting the spire as it was before buried under carbon and debris
12 Commemorative coins of the world (ought to be over a thousand years old so feel free to have older or put in some new ones as a mystery)
13 Postage stamps, self-stamped envelopes, pens, letter pads, notebooks, ink, quills, mechanical ink pen, pencils, 
14 Tiny bakelite figurines of monsters collect them all (highly flammable cant be put out)
15 Tiny pocket figurines of the gods as miniature one-inch pewter self-standing figures and some small holy symbols and religious saint medals and luck symbols 
16 Alchemical plastic collectable figures of vehicles and automata (unstable plastic are tiny explosives that could blast a lock or chain)
17 Souveneer cloth patches showing Chagrinspire and wonderous buildings in their prime before war and various wonders of foreign lands
18 Cigarettes with various brands and collectable cards, cigars and tobacco tins, rolling paper, cork filters, lighters, pipe cleaners, breath mints, snuff tins, chewing tobacco, dried jerky, manly themed bottle openers 
19 Small comic and pulp adventure magazines about d4 1=plundering foreign civilisations 2= stealing wonderous treasure 3=depressing utopias of how worse the universe will become if we don't destroy it quickly 4=weird mystery men and villains
20 Collectable cards with text on back and sweet gum, random packs of 12 in waxpaper packets with a collector checklist card of 30+d100 per series. Some sell second-hand sets and tobacco collector cards. Subjects include d4 1=wonderful world of war 2=sport 3=great foreign plunder 4=unhappy events of history 
21 Jokes including rubber vomit, rubber poo, rubber bugs, explosive cigarettes, filthy soap, fake-xray spex, poison needle ring (one dose), invisible ink, fake toothpaste makes teeth black, nasty spicy lollies
22 Fireworks and fire crackers
23 Sordid tiny comics featuring blasphemous comics about the gods (1in6 possibly factually accurate and not slander or just fantasy)
24 Booklets of dirty jokes, catalogues, song lyrics, comedy routines, monologues, parodies of radio programs, sport statistics (pages of zero scores for Nullist sports)
25 Dice, small card jigsaw pieces, jacks, cards, game rules, chess pieces
26 Saucy alchemical photos of various themes singly in brown paper bags. d6 1=bifricated ladies wearing trousers! 2=nude art model dressed as a goddess or warrior woman 3=musclebound shaved oiled bodybuilders flexing, some with tattoos and fanciful hair grooming 4=attractive naked beast folk 5=servants spanking masters 6=wizard mating with an alien being from another world
27 Contraceptives and lubricants
28 Postcards of d4 1=various industrial wonders 2=brutalist and deco buildings 3=heroic soldiers 4=wonders from around the world and inderland
29 Disguise kits, false hairpieces, eyepatches, makeup, fake noses, fake teeth
30 Rubber figures with slanderous caricatures of demihumans and humanoids those ppl would find offensive
31 Various knives for specific purposes and styles, some ornate junk, others high quality. Including flick knives, folding razors, pocket knives with small folding tools, bayonets,  whetstone and oil
32 Travel Supplies like hand towels, eating utensils, cups, bowls, soap, shampoo, first aid kit refills, salt tablets, mosquito net, alchemist glowstick pack of 2, compass, 6 small candles, ball of string, sewing kit, underwear, socks, money belt, gloves, goggles, dried meals in boxes
33 Paper dolls and colouring pages
34 Pocket self-education books d6 1=language 2=ancient tech 3=philosophy of Null 4=dealing with outsider entities escape their warnings 5=guidebook of hell 6=pre apocalypse geography
35 Toy cars, rubber balls, cup & ball, dolls, toy soldiers, pop-gun, jack in the box, clockwork golem
36 Plush monster collects them all, 1in6 say a few phrases
37 Creepy clown puppets gone insane from imprisonment will beg for release
38 Wind up tin toys with various themes d4 1=war 2=animals 3=atomatons
39 Coloured marbles, jacks, knucklebones, balls, chalk, whistles
40 Cursed dolls d4 1=poltergiest inside 2=insane golem toy 3=used to curse another with pain with instruction book 4=trapped unhappy spirit inside can talk but not move
41 Control a boxing golem vs the machine operated one
42 Strength tester, win a prize! 
43 Whack a troll machine with a mallet and tiny trolls the machine makes by slicing of frozen troll meat, win a prize! 
44 Clown head swallowing ball game, win a prize!
45 Fighting Game - stab and attack a torso as you please, with simulated blood
46 Duck shooting game with up to 4 pneumatic guns, win a prize!
47 Ball toss game, win a prize!
48 Lucky wheel spin, win a prize! 
49 One armed bandit fruit machine, pull a lever and win the jackpot!
50 Void invaders - defend the world from outer ones invasion, has a mechanical belt for moving scenery and targets and control lets you shoot oncoming foes 
51 Pay to peek at hand-cranked B&W footage of what a butler sees watching various householders in naughty acts with nudity, in baths, undressing
52 Peer into a slot to see flickering images of battlefield action with men machinegunned and golem tanks running down survivors 
53 Newsreel footage showing an airship raiding a foreign temple for gold
54 Handcranked footage of a boxing match, it's very exciting
55 Viewscope reveals flickering scenes of trains crashing
56 Chronoscopic Viewer can see scenes of yourself as a baby a minute per go
57 Ectoscope allows viewers to see beyond the swarming alien life and spirits all around us all the time. Save vs fear or d4 1=scream 2=feint d4 rounds 3=wet your pants 4=gasp and dream of alien life possibly allowing them into your dreams or our world
58 Educational film d41=brutal execution customs from around the world with subtitles 2=building the Null sphere and working on unmaking creation 3=automaton soldier or flesh golem factory at work 4=
59 Phonograph player machine loads and players records mostly classical, opera, some mediocre wooden jazz and pop novelty songs about d41=fruit 2=love 3=monkeys 4=patriotic war song
60 Player Piano can play hundreds of tunes via paper rolls with holes in them
61 Omar the mystic - behind a glass screen in a cabinet with turban-wearing mannequin inside that for a fee will tell you a warning of a possible near future peril
62 Diablo make a wish machine that talks you through selling your soul to hell, devil puppet inside talks you through it and prepares the contract for you to sign in blood
63 Full of books on occult theory good for researching spells
64 Madame Gorby Fate Finder - a old woman automaton in a cabinet deals out arcane cards and makes a prophecy on a card based on your choice or random d4 1=fate in war 2=fate in love 3=fate in money 4=fate for health
65 Machine shines lamp on you and determines you birth date and astrological sign and prints a tiny scroll of facts about you
66 Curtains in cabinet roll up and dancing rodents in costumes put on a show them scurry back into the machine
67 Miraclo's Mind Mixing Machine lets two creatures each holding two grips gets a shock and swap minds for one hour. A Wizard poppet explains the procedure and makes the use more theatrical 
68 Dr Gutgrift Surgery Booth a puppet surgeon invites the patient to lie on a gurney that slides inside the machine. The puppet assures friends all is well while golem tools inside perform d6HP of surgery or can perform amputation or transplant limbs. Some corrupted ones give everyone surgical or machine mutations
69 Cabinet with attractive dancing automaton, Mostly it is still until paid lights go on and dances for a minute
70 Shifty's Cabinet of Scandal -  a sly puupet in a coat and hat in a dark shop counter behind bars inside the cabinet visible when doors open. Will buy and sell goods like a pawnshop and will sell some magis items. It tries to make every object sound forbidden and mysterious
71 Herb vending machine offering dried ready to use doses for tea, dressings, cooking, mild narcotics and seeds, some magical or good for nature magic use
72 Arcane components for spells and cantrip scrolls
73 Holy components for spells including holy symbols, oil, water, saint finger bones, scriptures, scrolls with blessings, candles, idols, cards 
74 Popular drugs for spell casters and paraphernalia
75 Alchemy lab inside folding cabinet you can hire to use 
76 Booth with a seat and an eye on an articulated tentacle produces photo-alchemical portraits 
77 Dispences semiprecious stones, crystals and mineral samples
78 Dispences rare magical creature body parts like bones, beaks, fur, bile or possibly all are ethically sourced synthetic grown substitutes
79 Dispences forbidden and blasphemous books
80 Ritual paraphernalia supply like candles, chalk, wands, crystals, cards, pendulums, phrenology callipers, incense, ritual knives, star charts, tide almanacs
81 Mutagenic antidotes and potions with various mutagenic types
82 Dispences poison, rat traps, bug spray, leech traps, fly nets, poison bird seed, ant killer and other tiny jars with live bugs to counter unwanted ones
83 Anidotes & cures for various conditions of poison and disease including for treating parasites, baldness, pimples, petrification, paralysis, level draining, limb loss, love
84 Colourful bottles reputed to treat all kinds of problems for health and moral failings. Some do have actual properties like d4 healing potions but they are addictive. Help for love, courage, fortitude all with nice flavour and cheap 
85 Magic potions "adventurers club favourite brand" various types of common potions and possibly some rare ones
86 Alchemist supply machines with chemicals, glassware, fuel, potion test kits
87 Magical Alcoholic drinks, some have a bartender in cabinet serving glasses, others show a range of popular wine and spirits of the ancient some with magical effects
88 Magical drugs that can recharge arcane spell energy, let you see magic and other planes or visions of past lives 
89 Potions to become a type of superior abhumanoid or other monstrous creature
90 Holy healing supplies, heal, cure poison and disease, remove curse and other miraculous potions it wont dispense to evil users
91 Cursed items dispenser for jokes and pranks for enemies or embarrassing drunken pre wedding parties
92 Monster egg machine - will hatch into an adorable baby monster 
93 Divination booth to contact a being of the higher realms for moral advice
94 Baby booth will take blood from one or two persons and in a ten-minute incubation you get a baby. Sometimes old machines make horrid homunculi instead 
95 Planar Pet machine vends 1HD planar creatures bound into a gem and can be released for one task in return for its release, various alignments possible
96 Magic bottles with spirits trapped in them that if held you can hear their cries for release, a sort of dangerous thrill for occult enthusiasts
97 Magic Weapon machine 
98 Magic clothes machine
99 Magic Armour machine
100 Teleporter booth linked to others around the wasteland and one on the moon and some other strange and dangerous places or other dimensions. The golem can offer tips about dialling up a safe place that people returned from

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