Tuesday, 23 January 2018

d100 Books of the Faerie



So this is a genius but possibly hard idea. If it works I can do various magic books like  goblin, faerie, hell, necromancy, witches, cultist, orc* and dwarf book lists.
* orcish 100 best sellers of all time or the only books orcs ever wrote?

Oh the comic cover above is a relatively mild slapstick romance comedy with mild flashes of nudity, but honestly that's all you want to know really.
Elves in print make every other race seem inferior and like insane gibbering children or monkeys. Trees make more steady friends than a goblin or a human.

d10 Book Appearance
01 Pages are transparent sheets from giant insect wings with text painted on 
02 Wooden book with fine wood plaques bound into a book with rings
03 Bejewelled and gilded cover worth d1000gp depicting a elf rune or scene
04 Painted wooden slat cover with vellum, cover is a amazing painting
05 Battered leather book with paper, scrawling wild notes and a blank section
06 Made from giant leaves cropped and sewn with spider silk
07 Made from human skin flailed and bound with man vellum sheets tattooed texts
08 Metal box with thin silvery moon metal sheets stamped with text bound with rings
09 Wooden box with tablets made from d4 1=wood 2=clay 3=fungus 4=giants toenails 
10 Small metal and bejeweled box, tablets of tiny text of jet, amber, jade, ivory or glass

d10 Script
01 Squid ink script
02 Etched with heat or acid
03 Written in old dialect or secret clan language
04 Written in a popular Arcane Cipher a scholar would know
05 Metallic d4 1=Bronze 2=Silver 3=Mercury 4=Gold 
06 Glow in the dark
07 Magical script requires spell to read
08 Written in private code or personal hobby language of a elf
09 Reading book aloud attracts faeries and elves for miles
10 Reading book aloud draws in planar influence that makes dimensions cross over

d10 Book Defences
01 Shiny lock of ornate design, ruins several thieves tools if thief fails
02 Bejeweled lock requires a magic word or knock spell to open
03 Steel large lock with keyhole mouth design, screams if a stranger touches it
04 Spirit appears to questions your worthiness to open it (only one alignment can)
05 Living plant, can entangle with vines a stranger who touches it
06 Planar entity, tentacles attack anyone with hostile intentions to the book*
07 Elemental spirit that defends the book if it is damaged
08 Only magic weapons or spells can damage it
09 If book attacked it shifts into another dimension, the book has spirit inside
10 Metal plate with hand design, open for hand of owner or require knock spell
*use a mimic or pudding or gibbering mouther or one of the dozens of versions of shoggoths

d10 Common Subjects
01 Lineages from the dawn times and to the gods and spirits of various elves
02 Botanical with incredible detail on plants including cell theory and breeding for one plant
03 Zoological bestiary detail on single species, it mundane social life and habits in detail
04 Slavery and eugenics manuals on modifying species with surgery, magic or breeding
05 Manual on customs of some other race that they usually misunderstand and patronise
06 Magical theory written in rhyme for a druid or wizard or priest to study
07 Thrilling lurid adventure of a elf in human land outwitting crude clods of feeble man
08 Astrology theory and observations of phenomena aens ago and the planets 
09 Life story of a very old tree used for dendrochronology
10 Stories of hedonistic activities like wild frolics, erotic parties, drug abuse festivals

d100 Books of the Faerie
01 To serve man, battered family cookbook on feeding monsters who love manflesh 
02 The Carnivorous Traveller, recipes for dwarves, halflings, goblins, gnomes, humans
03 DIary of Offerings, review of humans offerings at elf shrine for several thousand years
04 The Breeding and Keeping of Humans, guide for slavery and subjugation of man
05 Knowing Your Lycanthrope, keeping werewolf slaves for hunting dogs
06 Lexicon of Stealing Mortal Babies, guide to obtaining babies from humans with tricks
07 Forestry for Beginners, how to spend your first thousand years caring for your forest 
08 Secret Loves of Dryads, kiss and tell love diaries of immortal magical seducers
09 The Celestial Tree, philosophy of how faerieland connects to other realities 
10 Training a Changeling, how elves train magical shape shifters to infiltrate humans
11 Wed to a Mortal, sad story of mad elf who loved a mortal and wasted 80 years
12 River Erosion, I Have Known, rambling waterway erosion adventure over 1000 years
13 Uses for Gnomes, guide to planting gnome colonies and what gifts they like
14 The Goblin Enigma, book about goblin psychology, reader saves or goes mad
15 The Unicorn Mystique, guide to how it really is awesome to have unicorn love
16 Perfection Attained, guide to personal grooming, hygiene and good elf manners
17 Symmetry of Exalted Hair, how to grow nicest hair over thousands of years of care
18 Tragedy of the Orc, sad story of how the first orcs were made from elves
19 Light, Lenses and Astrology, astronomy text, with how to polish a lens over 100 years
20 Journeys to the Celestial Spheres, visiting elves on the moon, planets and stars
21 Goblin Breeding for Beginners, how to spend a milenium breeding a goblin sub breed
22 Preventing Wood Rot and Tree Care, healing secrets for trees
23 Field Guide to Enchanted Fungi, how to identify magic mushrooms and risks
24 Licking Toads and Salamanders, guide to narcotic effects for amphibian adicts
25 Etiquette for Court Orgies, manners for attending such events and how to practice
26 Song of the Old Elf King, poem of King Thuviel who waged war on giant kind
27 Hedge Mazes and Thorn Wallsart and science of defencive gardening
28 Herbal Remedies and Recipes, hundreds of tasty herbal tonics and treatments
29 Keeping Your Human Enthralled, secrets to keeping your humans charmed slaves
30 Amusing Japes to Play on Your Humans, funny tricks to tease humans
31 Gardening you Village of Man's Children, manipulate a human village over centuries
32 The Superiority of our Kind, book of how elves are the greatest race and others are not
33 The Secrets of Trolls, detailing the types of trolls that once existed long ago now gone
34 Beware the Eyes of Dwarves, how to avoid enticing their envious lusty gazes35 How to Befriend a Dragon, methods to contact and stay on good terms with dragons
36 Surgical Modification of the Human Animal, how to turn humans into beastmen
37 The Fall of Man, elves should rise up to destroy human civilization before its too late
38 The Age of Ice, how elves slept through the long winter and found humans thriving
39 Visiting the Cities of Man, accounts of contact 5000 years ago in long lost cities
40 Turning Man against Man, starting wars and splintering kingdoms keep man weak
41 Goblins I Have Known, describes favorite goblin servants over two milenium
42 The Apocalypse of Lesser Life, how orcs and humans have changed the world forever
43 Amusing Cakes for Royal Fair, how to cook fancy decorated novelty cakes to amaze
44 How The Monsters Won, detailing how the monster empire ended the dawn age
45 The Light of Our House, how elves lesser races into revolt against the monster empire
46 Five Millennia of Man, quick history of rise of man and how brutish and violent they are
47 In Person With Gods, stories of great elves of old who know gods personally 
48 The Topography of Faerie, dimensional inconsistent nature of faerie space
49 Sailing the Seven Seas, a elf who traveled all the worlds coasts 6000 years ago
50 The Gods of Man, how human religion is degenerate versions of elf gods in mans form
51 Blood of the Giants, how humans were created from defeated giants so elves and spirits had to work less and that was a mistake

52 Automatons for Pleasure, complex clockwork engineering automatons to entertain
53 Being a Dwarf, a elf in disguise among dwarfs, how can a race so ugly live at all?
54 Halflings Our Helpers, how halflings were bred from all races to deceive the evil ones
55 Your Divine Purpose, elf self help book for low esteem elves who doubt supremacy
56 Psychology of Mortality, what is it like to age and live less than a hundred years
57 Infantilism of Man, how humans are stupid babies who cant think and are animals
58 Breeding and Keeping Beastmen, how to use magic to breed a race of beastmen
59 Genocide and Gardening, how to exterminate pesky races that breed out of control
60 Human Origins, how the first humans were made when apes and giants had babies
61 Secrets of the Serpent, how serpent men have been slowly driven to extinction by elves
62 Return to the Trees, how humans can be given a plague to return them to a wild state
63 Cataclysms of the Gods, how gods used disasters to cull man so elves should too
64 Faerieland Forever Home, elves should retreat to faerieland forever and leave the world
65 The Shattered World, all the great cataclysms that shaped and wrecked the world
66 The Broken Circle, how the post dawn time world is a broken post apocalyptic hell
67 The Science of Flower Arranging, thousands of theories for advanced decor
68 Control of Lesser Races with Narcotic Food, making and dealing in faerie food for mortals
69 Our Fallen Blood, how human blood has weakened elf race and decline of gene pool
70 Fornicating with Animals, techniques for seducing and having sex with animals
71 Herding Mankind, long term plans for influencing mankind and making them fight lots

72 This Fell Power, how humans learning wizardry then necromancy has broken the world
73 Talk To The Trees, friendships over aeons with tree folk and spirits
74 Erotic Furniture of The Dark Realm, illustrations of dark elf furnishings NSFW
75 The Bestial Less Races, guide to beastmen, centaurs, humans and orcs
76 Ant Farming, eventually you realise writer is talking about human civilization
77 True Accounts of When Gods Fought Giants, stories from the giant wars long ago
78 Maintaining a Swamp, how to run a swamp to remove sewerage and pollution
79 War against Trees, call to help spread trees across the world as quickly as possible
80 Making Human Servants Obey, methods of handling your slaves with sex and drugs
81 Building a Goblinoid Horde, on goblin breeding and varieties for military campaigns
82 The Orcish Problem, how elves stopped being turned into orcs by evil and the use of humans then alchemical mud pits to create them, and how orcs have over run the world
83 The Unflattering Ape, how all human culture is an embarrassing ugly imperfect copy from elves
84 The Undersea Court, life in the undersea faerielands and the sunken land of the dead
85 The Chittering Hordes, other race seem inferior and are insane gibbering children
86 1000 Advanced love Techniques, elves are apparently more flexible than humans
87 Burdens of Perfection, pondering why other races hate elves out of jealousy
88 The Silver Star, manual of rituals pleasing to star spirits and elven 
sky gods CG
89 The Golden Pair, manual on rituals to the vegetation gods and spirits NG
90 The Brazen Acorn, manual of rituals for the solar elven gods and angelic spirits LG
91 Cantrips for Dear Children, a d4 basic zero level spells and introductory theory notes
92 Beginning Magic, charm person, comprehend languages, magic missile, featherfall
93 Elven Apprentices Book, levitate, web, blur, invisibility

94 Elven Adepts Book, fly, fireball, haste, water breathing
95 Elven Masters Book, polymorph other, polymorph self, wall of fire, icestorm
96 Demons and their Truenames, theory of demon summoning and names of 24d demons
97 Laylines and Monoliths, how to transmit and build magical batteries in landscape
98 The Cosmic Fortress, dimensions good for hiding stuff on or living in and hazards
99 The Arcanists Fortune, 2d4 magic item recipes and formulas
100 The Alchemists Muse, 2d4 potion recipes

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