Tuesday 2 December 2014

d100 Off Duty Monsters

So when not sleeping or at work what is a monster to do? Roll this to find what monsters are doing during their downtime when you sneak into their barracks like a murder hobo.

In my dungeons monsters sleep in day but this is usable.

Thanks to Richard Grenville for ideas mostly about 61-80

d6 Monster Work Roster
1-2 Sleep
3-4 On Duty in dungeon
5-6 Downtime

d100 Monster Downtime
1 Maintaining  weapons and armour
2 Sparing and training
3 Cleaning room
4 Shaving
5 Enjoying a good meal
6 Drinking beer
7 Abusing a subordinate
8 Tormenting a captive
9 Slaughtering a animal to eat
10 Gambling
11 Making small animals fight for sport and bets
12 Delousing self
13 Applying first aid
14 Cleaning boots
15 Whining about dungeon conditions and superiors
16 Punishing a subordinate
17 Smoking
18 High on shrooms
19 Playing a game of skill
20 Pranking a dorm mate
21 Lancing a boil
22 Having a brawl or wrestle
23 Throwing knives at a target (possibly tied up and alive)
24 Abusing a animal
25 Trying to read dungeon time sheet or battle plan
26 Talking about sweetheart back home (crude artwork or memento like hair)
27 Talking about plans to settle down after this tour of duty
28 Trimming toenails
29 Grooming for date or meeting with boss
30 Sitting on bed with a bucket from hangover
31 Cheering at dancer or stripper
32 Whittle a piece of wood
33 Playing dicePlaying knuckle bones
34 Arm wrestling
35 Getting a tattoo
36 Carving artwork on a monster tooth
37 Telling dirty and/or racist jokes
38 Picking teeth clean
39 Cutting hair
40 Eating a pie
41 Eating sausages
42 Eating a turnip
43 Playing music and intently listening
44 Reciting poetry
45 Singing and dancing
46 Getting drunk on rotgut grog
47 Talking over local map
48 Telling ghost stories
49 Telling battle stories
50 Eating smoked or dried fish
51 A spot of cannibalism
52 Looting a corpse
53 Braiding hair
54 Eating coarse moldy bread
55 Looking at pornographic artwork
56 Mending boots
57 Skinning a rat, cat or dog
58 Playing with pet
59 Training pet
60 Teaching a child
61 Showing off to each other with feats of strength/prowess
62 Reminiscing
63 Making fun of humans: "no after you" "No! after you!"
64 Disturbing grooming - removing bones or prosthetics for cleaning, checking for lesions
65 Posing and painting
66 Weaving, knitting, sewing and other dungeon handicrafts
67 Debugging battle plans
68 Mourning over dead comrades body
69 Teasing a huge foot long spider or scorpion
70 Kicking about a severed head
71 Consoling a comrade whose wife left him or some other family tragedy
72 Practicing battle cries
73 Trying to reach down a drain or air vent for something
74 Listening to instructions or pep talk from boss
75 Rolling out dough
76 Hunting, enraged, for lost keys
77 Arguing about latest dungeon roster
78 Reading aloud to illiterate comrades
79 Talking about who is best god or demon or devil or old one
80 Comparing trophies like ears, fingers, scalps, skulls or shrunken heads
81 Bathing in a barrel or tub or with sponge or with oil and scraper
82 Discussing alignment morality
83 Sharing recipes for food or poison
84 Brewing grog in small keg or pumpkin before returning to secret hiding spot
85 Telling funny stories about murder
86 Practicing drill or battle tactics or dance
87 Performing sacrifice
88 Counting coins
89 Talking about wives and girlfriends and moms
90 Planning a heist
91 Kangaroo courtroom against peer who let team down
92 Planing of stealing rival dorm idol or mascot (an ongoing project)
93 Hazing a new recruit
94 Impersonating boss or enemies or priest
95 Sniffing women's stolen clothing
96 Biting heads off snakes
97 Flexing muscles to see who is strongest
98 Dressing in women's clothing for dungeon revue show coming soon
99 Reading name tags aloud from lost hats
100 Playing board or card game

hmmm - had to get over 4000 hits on reddit before someone mentioned i double counted some numbers will have to do a third version sigh - have fixed a few bits

10 Masturbating
11 Peeling root vegetables
12 Eating eggs
13 Eating groats
14 Snacking on rat on a stick or huge bug
15 Having a nap
16 Praying to gods
17 Plotting with peers against boss
18 Dreaming up a evil scheme

for guy who didnt get 99

lost hats have nametags - reading tags to find owners - happens at millions of schools world wide daily

Prey/pray to gods error fixed - i dont really get religion it is true - do you just talk to your invisible friends or some how exploit them to justify your awful behavior

As for claim my site is ugly well its a bunch of templates that cost nothing

point of my work is quantity not quality


  1. Thanks very much, that will make a debut in two days time in Yorkshire.

  2. wait a minute
    YOU have been scrying upon me

  3. No one is shagging or using the bog? ;-) Another handy d100 chart.

    1. i have well documented latrines already
      dungeon bosses disapprove of shitting in barracks when latrine nearby

      if you read between lines monsters are raping prisoners and animals if it helps your adventure style

    2. ewww,.I hadn't really thought about the nasty stuff.

  4. this was a quickie while doing revised redbrick key

  5. Most monsters in barracks are male and good dungeon boss imposes flogging for fornicating in barracks as it causes trouble - dungeons are not some kind of monster sex club

    1. The barracks nature you were writing to came through pretty well.
      But now I'm wondering about a 1d100 monster sex club table but that probably wouldn'. Pass the "would I want my mother (or future client) finding this if searching my name in google".

  6. This is another great D100 table. Thanks!

  7. Do you have any objections if I start taking some of your tables (like this one!) and creating pages on Abulafia out of them?

    1. its been done with a few your very welcome
      Psychon citadels
      and magic murder machines
      have been done by others on different engines
      just link them to me and let me know and i will plug them and if lots i could create a link page for them


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