Tuesday 30 July 2019

Summoners Schools Ideas



















Moray Summoner by Heonhwa Choe

Summoning to me is one of the basic types of wizard school, big enough every other school partakes in it a bit. Lots of schools use some summoning and have a basic theory for were the poor summoned creatures come from. Ive allowed players to specialise before with ants, spiders etc. It works well. Hou could also say monster summoning spell varient call different things you need to learn versions. One version calls owls another summons beetles. 


Summoning Lists

Monster summoning spells are a classic but also a good way to add character to a spell caster. I made up some sets of schools of summoner so players might specialise or you might find different versions of spells summon different creatures than dungeon fodder. Spells to increase duration or numbers called might help 3rd lv spell to summon d4 1st lv monsters. Summoners are kinda pokemon guys i guess.

d12 Earth

5th level plus immune to blunt, crushing or falling damage
1st Rock Dog d8 HD AC as chain, Att d6 crush, Mov 12

2nd Earth Stag 2d8 HD AC as chain, Att 2d4 charge, Mov 15
3rd Earth Boar 3d8 HD AC as as chain, Att 3d4 charge, Mov 15 
4th Dire Wolf 4d4 HD AC as chain, att 2d4 Move 15 
5th Earth Lion, 5d8 HD AC as chin, Att  d6x2 claw d8 bite, Mov 15 
6th Earth Bear, 6d8 HD AC as chain, Att d6x2 claw d8 bite, Mov 15
7th Duncow, mighty auroch 7d8 HD AC as plate, Att 2d8x2 or 4d6 trample, Mov 15
8th Earth Elemental, 8 HD AC as plate** Att 3d6 crush, Mov 9, burrow 6 
9th Hill Giant, 9d8, AV as plate, Att 2d8 or throw 2d6 rock, Mov 15

d12 Fire

all immune to normal fire, *=+1 to hit needed to harm & immune to magic fire
1st Arson Sprite d8 HD AC as leather, Att d6 fire touch, Mov 12 or fly 3
2nd Fire bat 2d8 2d8 HD AC as leather, Att 2d4, Mov 3 or 15 fly
3rd Fire snake 3d8 HD AC as chain, Att d6+fire venom d4/round until you save, Mov 12
4th Fire toad 4d4 AC as chain, Att 2d4 bite or 1in6 chance round spits 4d6 fireball, Mov 12
5th Hell hound 5d8 AC as chain, Att d10 bite and spits fire 1 range cone, 5dam save halves
6th Fire Salamander 6HD AC as chain*, Att 2d8, Mov 12 can teleport between fires in sight
7th Pheonix 6HD AC as plate*, Att 2d8 or shoot d8 fire arrow per round, 3 range light
8th Fire Elemental 8 HD AC as plate** Att 3d6 burn, Mov12, ignites flammables on touch
9th Barbed Devil 8HD AC as plate** Att 2d4x2 3d4 all Plus fear, Mov 12, can cast spell per round: burning hands or pyrotechnics or fear or hold person or 1in4 chance of summoning another can try once a day

d12 Air

1st 2 Giant Ravens one per level d4 HD AC Leather Att d6 Peck Mov 3 Fly 18
2nd Dust Devil 2d8 HD AC as leather Att d6 Buffett Mov 4 Fly12
3rd Giant eagle 3d8 HD AC as chain Att d8 Peck, Mov 3 Fly18 
4th Giant Owl 4d8 HD AC as chain Att 2d4 Peck, Mov 3 Fly 18 silent, night vision
5th Vapour Hound 4d8 AC as chain* Att d10, Fly 15
6th Vapour Beast 5d8 AC as chain* Att d12x2 Tentacles Mov 9 Fly 15, surprise 1-4in6
7th Celestial Hawk 6d8 AC as chain* Att 2d4x2 claws 2d6 beak Mov 9 Fly 24
8th Air Elemental 8 HD AC as plate** Att 3d6 buffet or grapple and carry up, Fly 18
9th Cloud Giant, 9d8, AV as plate, Att 2d8 or throw 2d6 rock, Mov 15 Featherfall at will

d12 Water

1st Flying razor fish per level d4 HD AC as chain Att d4 bite Move 3 Swim 15 Fly 15
2nd Beast folk such as a fish or shark or eel or crab folk warrior 2d8 HD AC as leather, att d8+1 weapon Mov 12
3rd Shark 3d8 HD AC as leather Att 2d4 bite Mov 18 Swim (or Porpoise)
4th Sea Ogre 4d8 HD AC as chain Att 3d4 trident Mov 6 or Swim 12
5th Giant Crab 5d8 HD as plate Att d12x2 pincers Mov 9 Swim 9
6th Sea Serpent 6d8 HD as plate Att d8 + venom save or 2d4 Mov 9 Swim 12
7th Fish Demon 6d8 HD as plate* Att 2d4x3 claws and bite Mov 6 Swim 15  
8th Water Elemental 8 HD AC as plate** Att 3d6 buffet or grapple and carry up, Fly 18
9th Sea Daemon 8HD AC as chain** Att d6x8 tentacles or grapple and d8 beak

Other Possible stuff less thought out


d12 Arachnomancer 
1st Large spider or scorpion d8 HD AC Leather Att d4 bite +venom +2 Save or 2d4 damage Mov3 Web 6, builds webs 
2nd Huge spider or scorpion 2d8 HD AC as leather Att d6 bite +venom +2 Save or 3d6 damage
3rd Giant Wolf Spider Save or die 3d8 AC as chain Att d8 bite +venom Save or 2d4 damage
4th Giant black widow 4d8 HD AC as chain d6 bite + venom save or die 
5th Giant Tarantula  Save or by dancing to death over d6 hours laughing
6th Giant Camel Spider HD 6HD AV as plate, Att d10x2 two grabbers d8 bite Mov 15 stinking cloud onec per day, usually before flees
7th Giant scorpion 6d8 HD AC as plate, Att d10x2 pincers tail d8+ venom save or die Mov 18
8th Phaze Spider HD  6d8 HD AC Plate or +4 when out of phaze and invisible Att Bite 2d6 plus poison -4 to save Mov 9 Climb web 18 can hide in or=ther dimension and watch 
9th Spider Demon 
 8HD AC as chain** Att 2d6 bite + poison, Grapple Arms x2, Web Shooter save or held for a turn

d12 Necromancer
 

1st Skeleton
2nd Zombie
3rd Ghoul
4th Shadow
5th Wight
6th Wraith
7th Mummy
8th Spectre
9th Ghost



d12 Insect Master 
1st Giant Ant
2nd Giant Bee or Wasp or Fly
3rd Giant Beetle
4th Bombardier Beetle
5th Giant Dragonfly
6th Giant Preying Mantis
7th Lesser Insect Demon
8th Rhinoceros Beetle
9th Greater Insect Demon


Reptilian 

1st Snake
2nd Small Raptor
3rd Giant Lizard
4th Poison Snake
5th Constrictor Snake
6th Subterranean Lizard
7th Pteradactyl
8th Minotaur Lizard
9th Fire Lizard

Others
Bactrachian
Worm
Diabolic

Saturday 27 July 2019

12 Schools of Wizardry in the Emoverse



The Twelve Schools

Elemental College
Prehistoric schools mostly neutral
Also para elements and quasi elementals but rarer
-Geomancy the Earth Elementalist School
-Aeromancy the Air  Elementalist School
-Aquamancy the Water Elementalist School
-Pyromancy the Fire  Elementalist School

First spells taught by planar elemental beings more common back in the first age Still popular and least hated wizards by common folk. Commonly used in war..

Necromancy College
Mostly ancient evil black robe corpse magic
or white school who heal and commune with dead for advice
or red new school of neutral anatomical biomancy
-Ossimancy or knokencraft
-Carnomancy or fliechcraft
-Sanguinmancy or blutcraft
-Animancy or giestcraft

After the monster age some using their black magic conquered the world with undead. The black school has been hated since then. White school are rare but tolerated. The red school claim to be free of moral evil, seeking to heal, experiment on corpses and make help the living. They are well established in the universities who publicly condemn black necromancy.

Arcane College
Taught in modern schools of various alignments since the rule of humanity
-Enchanters (specialists in making magic items and mind control, aid feudal lords)
-Summoners (specialist in calling planar being for aid, specialised monster summoning)
-Evokers (battlefield army wizards for war or battle mages,
 call strange destructive powers
-Diabolists (wizards dedicated to serving Hell and calling infernal power to grant wishes)

Isolated traditions have been brought into the modern common study of magic. Enchanters are popular with nobility for making magic weapons and influencing others but many fear them. Summoners call beings and objects from other worlds eventually exploring the planes to treaty with great daemons and elemental lords. Evokers specialise in blowing stuff up with a variety of elemental powers used mostly on the battlefield making them popular with military and seen as more modern than elementalists. Diabolists study devils, Hell and demon lore to help deal with these powers. Obviously many distrust them and most consider them corrupt.

Other Magician Systems Confused with Wizardry
Wizard taps magic from their selves, material components and knowing of exploitable universal power. Sorcerers tap into other worldly pre human powers of creation or the planes. Mystics hold spirits or use channelled internal energy to release as spells. Alchemists manipulate by synchronising their spirit to 
material components to create magic items like potions, weapons, guns, golems even living creatures. True witches understand the secret dawn age lore of magic with power words and crafted fetish items. They evoke forgotten petty spirit and planar beings forgotten by others

Alchemy - a separate system with own spell list and a set price of materials and casting time. Alchemists make special potions often that they prepare then activate at the moment of use. They also make animated constructs, steam apparatus, gunpowder, st and incendiaries and mechanical or clockwork  technology, etc. They don't summon monsters they create them with limited lives from potion bottles and the things shrivel and die in a short time period. Alchemists make life forms using magical apparatus and materials.

Sorcerers - same spells but limited spell knowledge but cast instinctively channelling energy. Often from other worldly bloodlines linked to other planes or supernatural beings or spirits. Tend to be inborn and innate who have strange dreams of non human times and planar beings. Lazier and less dedicated than scholar wizards, usually attract cults or join them, often hedonistic and chaotic. Some have instead made pacts with such beings according to ancient pre human secrets. They tend to occasional get messages or instructions from their patrons. Many so called witches (unlawful magicians are witches by law) are sorcerers. Much more likely than wizards (mostly atheists or occultists) to have supernatural or religions trappings or have cultists serving them as followers.  

Mystics - separate spell system also known as magi, psionicists, mentalists, mediums or shamans. Powers are based from tapping into their personal spirits and gaining spell spirits from the spirit world who are held to prepare in 8 hours of ritual seances and then released to cast. Four main branches of power specialisation. Energy (magi), Body (savants), Mind (mentalists) and Planar (prophets) are the elements of mystic arts. As shamen many barbaric, nomad and wild peoples mystics deal with spirits, ancestors and beast totems. Mediums are civilised degenerate shamen who make themselves open to otherworldly spirits for hire. Shamen and mediums actually capture spirits and use them as spells or project their animus into a spirit to interact with other spirits. They would be Psionicists on Xor or Planet Psychon

Witches - most illegal casters are called witches which can confuse students. Many so called witches are sorcerers or wizards or clerics of unpopular cults like druids. Witch magic is rare now but witches had limited powers common to other spell casters but could cast limited spells more often or at will when powerful. Some say it is the original magic system. 
(roll to cast spells from limited list but gain some lower abilities at will at high level, roll to see if can cast again in day or automatic eventually). Witches survive best when women and oppressed people have limited opportunities for power, religious status or titles. Most witches are illegal and underground. Many are based on vengeance others are benevolent healers but still persecuted.

Clerics -  warrior priests gain miracles to fight evil (or vice versa). Serve respectable gods known by the masses especially the urban ones. Druids serve rural cults of rednecks, remnants of older people occupied by civilisation. Druids are outlawed or at least persecuted in some lands. Evil clerics are the opposite and use power to spread fear, ignorance and defy what is right. Clerics as military priests often crusade against evil cults or neutral druid sects or operate inquisitions to find hidden ones. Some clerics hunt even outlaw wizards. 
Powerful robed magical priests might seem wizard like but their miracle power comes from prayers and the miracles occur when the priest says the holy words of power. They just channel and store magic from gods through their holy symbol.

Monday 22 July 2019

Dungeon Snails





















Often found in damp dungeons and sometimes they smother them in plague swarms especially hiding from droughts.  Baby ones are dangerous in swarms but weak alone. Bug ones are excellent for evil mounts and snail jousting has caught on in places where slow sports are a craze. They eat anything and are edible. Hungry adventures may eat them but they may have revolting parasites like giant wasp or carrion worm larvae. They are immune to moulds, slimes, oozes,puddings and like to eat them. They leave slimy silver trails and shit everywhere. They are nocturnal and use vibration, scent and crude 360 degree vision with stalks fully erect. Shell can be a blindspot in many cases.  Most prefer moist conditions. Drought or ice makes most types hibernate often in burrows or group nests. The large ones make slow but sure beast of burden that carry huge loads up sheet surfaces. If conditions are dry they may burrow and hibernate for years. All hate salt, a handful causes a d4 damage, pound d6, bucket d8. Brine or salty water drives most types away but only causes 1hp damage a bucket or more..

Baby d4 HD AV as leather Att d4 bite MOV 3
Adult 1-2 d8 HD AC as chain Att d6 bite MOV 6
Giant 4-8 d8 HD AC as plate Att 2d4 bite MOV 3

1 Dungeon snails can track prey by scent and can kill silently from ambush especially on the sleeping
2 Chaos Snails  Evil and have mutations, fearless to suicidal, eating them may cause mutations
3 Water Snails
Operate from underwater water mostly, sea ones are salt tolerant. Some can carry a passenger inside per HD (d4 HD only a small creature)
4 Fire Snails Immune to natural or magical heat or fire plus their touch ignites flammables with lava like hot slime. Water harms these snails as salt does most types. Cold does +1 per dice versus them
5 War Snails These spiky shelled snails have a horned charge attack instead of bite, very obedient fearless mounts with a rider who they always follow
6 Slugs
Naked snails have a lower profile and less armour -3 worse, better at squeezing and burrowing
7 Blood Snails
Bite grabs hold with first hit then suck blood each round until victim dead through hideous toothed oral sphincter, Leave mummified husks after draining prey, they also eat these remains too
8 Ice snails shells made of ice crystal immune to natural and magical cold. Heat or fire does +1 per dice versus them
9 Wizard Snails Detect magic and smells of wizards, once eat a wizard brains they become more cunning and can cast spells as a d4 level wizard. Can speak and converse once can cast spells
10 Phase Snails Can retract into their mutidimentional fractal shells +4AC and can only be hit by magic if hide in shell, effectively invisible
11 Necro Snails 
Infected partially gnawed corpses arise as zombies in 24 hours. Control one per HD of snail which defend and serve thew snail. Small ones use zombies as mounts
12 Brain Snail
Can charm a victim per HD with addictive slime works on bite or touch on non shell snail. The first thrall makes them sentient with 7 INT & CHA. As they gain thralls they become smarter (+1 per thrall).  Small ones use thralls as mounts. They need new thralls as they feed of victims neural and brain fluid eating a DEX or INT point a day per HD. They become Machiavellian schemers and are often start cults or gangs using thralls as leaders

Common Mutations

1 Extra Head +1 Attack with head, extra head per extra mutation
2 Explode on death d4 per HD within 20 foot or save for half, (d4 HD only a 10 foot radius blast)
3 Acid Spit once a day per HD, damage as bite, 1 range per HD, damages items
4 Hyper speed Mov 12 as a human!
5 Regenerate 1hp/round unless fire, acid or salt used to harm it
6 Teleport 3 range once per day per HD
7 Breath Fire D3 +1/HD, 3 range cone (1 range for d4HD)
8 Beserker if zero keeps fighting till reaches -10, and +2 hit and damage
9 Invisibility turn per HD per day (d4 HD snails only a d4 rounds per day
10 Iron Shell +2 AC

11 Huge Teeth, bump up dice to next higher type
12 Intelligent can talk, long lived

Yes you can have a chaos necro dungeon snail with regeneration and two heads that explodes on death. Yes they hang out with flail snails.

Saturday 20 July 2019

d100 Prison Problems


Had some good news on my bullshit problems so all looking better. Once i get new place, paid non placement job I will be amping up my art and design projects.

My patreon support has doubled so a dozen pdfs this month never to be repeated deal now on


So when you go to prison for murder hobo disagreements and not paying dungeon loot tax this table is for colourful prison events. You could have some occur weekly or daily or every few rounds in a mass escape or riot situation. Many prisons are in former dungeons of old castles. Sometimes if staff not cruel enough the governor will employ orcs. I still love how in Slaine comic the heroe'
s dwarf sidekick bought a private prison to make money off of bribes.

d100 Prison Problems
01 Bullied for for bed
02 Bullied for food
03 Bullied for services
04 Bullied for clothing or personal items
05 Attacked by someone trying to prove something
06 Attacked by gang for imagined insult
07 Stabbed by another inmate at random
08 Inmate fancies you
09 Inmate wants you to be a slave
10 Inmates want you to help smuggle note or goods
11 Guards want to beat you to show who is boss
12 Guards want you to squeal on other inmates
13 Guards offer you rewards for helping them find out about prisoners
14 Interviewed by guards over some in prison problem
15 Interviewed by warden to see if eligible for "special work"
16 Guards want you to fight another prisoner for bets
17 Guards want you to kill another prisoner
18 Guards torture you for a few days
19 Guards keep you in solitary, starve and beat you
20 Guards keep you in special infamously cruel cell
21 Inmate tries to stab another inmate
22 Inmates having a fight which guards break up
23 Inmates riot fighting with each other
24 Inmates riot attacking guards
25 Group of inmates stab someone to death and leave bloody corpse
26 Inmates hold kangaroo court trial over breaking criminal code
27 Inmates start a fire that gets out of control
28 Inmates have contagious disease
29 Mystery poisoner among inmates
30 Someone willing to pay for a murder
31 Gang recruiters want you, don't take no for answer
32 Someone stealing off inmates
33 Old timer boasts about buried treasure
34 Old timer has tattoo of a map
35 Old man knows all the factions
36 Guy knows how to get terrible prison grog
37 Guy will trade stuff for a prison made shank
38 Guy can get drugs for a price
39 Guy with gang contacts can help with early release for fortune
40 Guy making cool prison tattoos (save vs disease)
41 Guy can get a message out 
42 Escape committee want you 
43 Fake escape committee want you, really stooges of prison staff 
44 Crazy old timer has escape plan
45 Someone tells of having seen prison ghost
46 Someone knows all about the guards and their schemes
47 Someone knows where a old secret tunnel is locates
48 Mysterious inmate will train inmates for something to do
49 Chance to learn new language from foreign gang
50 Make contact with secret cult among inmates
51 Lycanthrope inmate killing and spreading disease
52 Doppelganger infiltrated is killing and eating people
53 Serial killer is murdering inmates
54 Staff member is secretly murdering inmates
55 Stumble across gambling racket 
56 Escape committee recruiting
57 Escape committee need distraction so dupe someone to be caught
58 Prison guard dealing in contraband
59 Secret society or cult establishes a new faction
60 Someone selling cut keys to certain doors or manacles
61 Someone dealing drugs to feign death
62 Famous criminal admitted
63 Famous traitor or spy admitted
64 Secret admirer wants to buy your favours
65 Guards stabbed, prison on lock down for a while
66 Inmates arrange slave auction
67 Warden selling some inmates secretly to somebody
68 Somebody starts a fire
69 Find somebodies stash of contraband
70 Find a hidden map
71 Find a nearly complete tunnel somewhere
72 Find some inmates trying to conceal bags of dirt
73 Inmates rumoured to have become cannibals
74 Criminal organisation tries to take over prison
75 Inmates killed in failed escape
76 Rioting inmates hold a wing for days, brutalise the weak inmates
77 Someone offers you a assassination contract
78 Charity bring you food, soap and a blanket
79 Dangerous narcotics flood the system
80 Mobster offers credit with severe terms 
81 Inmates believe someone is a plant from the staff
82 Inmates looking for squealer who exposed their schemes to warden
83 Fresh new staff arrive, less corrupt and sadistic for a while
84 Staff perform thorough search looking for someone
85 Protesters outside complain of cruel conditions and corruption
86 Governor gets some new torture equipment
87 Labour gang needed for outside work, heavily guarded
88 Volunteers needed for something for chance of early release
89 Guards get new extra savage dogs
90 Guards get new truncheons and want to try them out
91 Prisoners given lashes till governor hears confesses to who killed a guard
92 Plague breaks out
93 Lice outbreak, inmates shaved and treated with unpleasant chemicals
94 Governor offers pardon if you just do this one mission first
95 Gang versus gang murders rampant in power struggle
96 New guards brought in by governor, sadistic and worse than most criminals
97 Army offer pardon if you join penal unit for mission
98 Influx of new inmate double population and severe over crowding
99 Inmates taken to worse prison or labour camp due to over crowding
100 Governor offers VIP treatment with slaves and private cell if you do some favours or can pay

Monday 15 July 2019

Marvel Log: Heroes in Space Attack Dire Wraiths


so to recap: 


Team: 
Shockwire bouncer by night living lightning hero by day!
Jack Frost silver age vet hero returned from years unseen
Lotus break dancing giant tree guy
Amp rock and rollroadie with sonic powers, armour and strength
Terra four armed mutant burrowing super strong hero, works for beer and curry
Evac the official hero of World Wide Rescue Service
Bolt Trower the android archer with his robot falcon 


Month ago:
Rescue Force battle monster space worm with lizard king!

battled a cult summoning alien being and killed it with a local king lizard kaiju

Recently:
New Hope for Yesterdays Heroes

Frost and Evac took control of a old folks home for super seniors
Former manager was a alien space dragon super villain in disguise, Mandragora
Followed evidence pointed to location on the moon and modded Evac's heavy cargo lifter for a lunar return trip with boosters. Dire Wraith spies tried to sabotage the launch.

Heroes Deny Plot to Flee Dying Earth in Home Made Space Ship!
Went to the moon found alien base in a landing strip on;y seen in classified photos the team heard of. Battled psionic shape shifting grey aliens offering universal cosmic peace. Some of party attacked and others teurned on them. Grey aliens were shape shifting dire wraiths projecting Mandragoras telepathy plus their own shape shifting. Inside base met atractive lady astronauts with metalic bob wigs and tight silver space suits. Some herows attacked and broke illusion over more wraiths. Met Dr Mandragora and he turned into a alien space dragon (a psionic one). Had a chasing psionic battle with him and most party went through a gate made by a wraith witch and went to wraithworld. Bolt thrower left on moon with Mandragora and his arrows couldn't hurt the villain..


Heroes Out Of Control Invade Alien Planet In Other Dimension!
Jack frost got through gate and pulled out his secret trumpcard. Revealed he was carrying Lotus a new tree superhero in his pocket in seed form who grew himself in alien soil from alien plant matter. So he was purple and black here. Shockwire had escaped but joined Frost and Lotus. Amp, Terra and Evac were unconscious and being carried away by wraiths to a distant city. Standing team went to mountains (vs desert or jungle) and contacted by robots. Brought to a secret base of a rare wraith warlock with his science wraith minions. He wants to leave planet and go to Earth with only a few evil shape shifting alien spy comrades. But provided plan to raid wraith witch city labs and prison plus kidnap a wraith with gate powers to pull out her brain. Raid worked and escaped. Tunnels had lots of interesting scenery and mutant cave clams and toad wraiths.

Escape From Dimension X

While jack worked on lab project to turn the wraith brain into a dimensional portal maker. Shockwire contacted a object in orbit they had noticed and used powers to have a radio chat with ameboid alien allies. Their bioship had a starspawn of cthulhu brain for a dimensional warp drive. Made a deal to go with them back to earth via their home planet. Lotus sent the science wraith saucer with a nuke off to the city deliberatley not when plan demanded it. Some sort of darkness void shield ate the explosion but it looked cool. While angry warlock yelled at Lotus, Shockwire jolted him into unconsciousness by surprise. Made a deal to take 2 science wraiths and some other beings found in cryopods. Three frozen wraith heretics who liked earth and family of human parents with mutant-wraith hybrid child (in mobile suspended animation pod). The ameboids gooey inside bio ship was kinda disgusting. Warlock awoke to find his base trashed and minions gone and the gate device Frost built with the witch brain was destroyed.

Heroes Triumphant Return From the Stars Welcome!

Spent a week on alien planet. Heard about their history and wars and links to shoggoths and the crinoid great old ones who made them long ago. Possibly dire Wraiths might return or get up to larks possibly can trace heroes to ameboid homeworld.

Return to moon base to find Bolt Thrower and Joan the dog surviving. Marndragora turned into a space dragon and flew off. Bolt Thrower scratched him and he fled after trashing half the base.  Apparently Mandragora cannot leave earth further than the moon. Everyone returned to earth in their vessel with Bolt Thrower jacked in to pilot the ship.

Back on earth got a good reception and went back to regular business. Characters spied on agents of some high tech crime cartel and publicly showboated bringing down a couple of corp agents. Got lots of popularity.

Ive sped up my initiative system to just Intuition count downs
Also +5 spot karma for comic dialogue has everyone quipping or catch phrazing.


Saturday 13 July 2019

d100 Things Found Digging Holes on Psychon




































Planet Psychon where the gods just create ruined ancient civilisations at a whim, where echoes of old memory banks are brought to life and all kinds of forgotten crap gets buried during regular terraforming.

d10 How Buried?1 Semi exposed by wind or water erosion

2 Partly exposed by collapsing earth recently
3 Partly excavated then abandoned by diggers
4 Mounds everywhere of treasure seekers excavations in area
5 Exposed ancient trash heap
6 Crumbling rubble of ancient civilization
7 Mine or burrow tunnel
8 Crater from weapon detonation or meteor 
9 Covered in biological material
10 Covered in pool of sludge 1in6 toxic or radioactive

d100 Things Found Digging Holes on Psychon
01 Part of a sleeping kaiju's body
02 A concrete structure, part of a bunker
03 Pipes leading into infrastructure tunnels
04 Entrance into sub train tunnels for service or station
05 Piles of costumes, from a store or landfill of terrible outfits never sold
06 Crashed saucer with remains of alien corpses
07 Landfill of unpopular video game cartridges
08 Bundles of cables 1in6 with live current
09 Drums of toxic waste
10 A warhead left from a great war 1=atomic 2=chemical 3=biological 4=psychotronic
11 Hundreds of bags of narcotics in trunks or inside stuffed toys
12 Cryonic pods full of cloned transplant organs 
13 Cryonic pods with people d4 1=criminals 2=survivors 3=infected undead 4=corpses 
14 Hundreds of skeletons form a mass grave
15 Remain of a temple of a long forgotten AI god
16 Trunks of long live military ration packs
17 Ammunition for some type of firearm but no weapons
18 Thousands of leaking ruined batteries (acidic or radioactive or flamable)
19 Remains of a water bore pump house
20 Huge fuel tank of pressurised flammable stuff
21 Robot scrap graveyard, possibly might disturb something
22 Android body part dump, might be able to repair some d4 1=virused hostile 2=virused but not hostile yet 3=defective and dangerous 4=servile but vulnerable to virus
23 Thousands of eggs
24 Hundreds of petrified dinosaur bones from a ancient museum
25 Remains of a art gallery with mostly ruined artworks
26 Several vehicles long sealed in section of tunnel or car park
27 Large boat some sections intact 
28 Remains of a shack with bodies of inhabitants trapped inside
29 Tomb of ancient seated on throne with weapons and artwork with murals inside
30 Thousands of empty drink bottles or beer cans
31 Long buried strange vegetation that begins to awaken in sunlight
32 Pulsating tissue of mutant flesh that has been growing in depths
33 Remains of teleporter station possibly working
34 Crashed airliner or airship remains full of baggage and skeletons
35 Crashed spacecraft with intact pods of astronauts inside
36 Remain of emergency bioplague clinic with undead trapped for aeons
37 Remains of huge war mech, AI damaged but intact but body only good for scrap
38 Psychotronic antenna array, if tampered starts broadcasting d4 1=war propaganda 2=hallucinations 3=homicidal berserker rage 4=collective dream reality
39 Thousands of hamburgers and hotdogs seemingly perfectly preserved and edible
40 Medical waste dump of hospital linen, body parts, needles, drug containers, etc
41 Thousands of packets of cigarettes
42 Furry cartoon animal androids from a theme park in bags, activated if sun reaches solar cells
43 Thousands of body bags from plague years
44 Remains of a damaged contaminated power plant (asbestos, radiation, chemicals)
45 Thousands of mobile phones, all start ringing when exposed to sun
46 Landfill of android toys, start reviving and moving about after exposed, possibly virased and hostile
47 Piles of mining equipment and tools long buried
48 Ancient freezer warehouse complex
49 Warehouse super store with gigantic passages and degenerate descendants of staff scuttling in halls
50 Submarine with remains of dead crew inside and 1in6 chance of a d12 nuclear missiles
51 Crashed bomber with d12 cruise missiles each with a deranged AI sure there is a war on
52 Remains of old ruin with occult ritual pariphenalia, gaot skulls, candles and old books
53 Remains of a library with shelves of books inhabited by d4 1=librarian bot 2=killer androids 3=well read morlock survivors 4=mutant animal life
54 Fast food resteraunt inhabited by d4 1=undead staff 2=android staff 3=mutant animals  4=cultists trying to re create this ancient temple and religion 
55 Wizards tower with a lich inside still working on a book, unaware has been buried
56 School complex with d4 1=feral albino youth gangs 2=robot teachers and truant officer bots desperate for students to bully 3=cult living like 50s highschool and perform musical numbers constantly 4=mutant animals recreating human civilisation with robot teachers
57 Greenhouse complex full of mutant plants
58 Fragment of a fallen orbital or asteroid hab that survived re-entry
59 Thousands of sealed coffins in mortuary freezer complex, all tainted by necrovirus and potential undead
60 Hospital complex crawling with undead and robots
61 Giant ant nest of intelligent ant folk who mostly grow fungus and have not seen surface for ages
62 Millions of giant disgusting worms
63 Burrow complex of mutant megafauna
64 Burrow complex of humanoid animal mutant species
65 Thousands of comic books, possibly a collector cult would value these historic documents
66 Trailer truck loaded with d4 1=vending machines 2=virused killer androids 3=undead corpses in bodybags 4=cigarettes and beer
67 Underground cave complex with ecosystem of fungus and albinos
68 Dinosaur theme park of android dinosaurs all virused and hostile
69 Signal beacon starts flashing calls d4 1=AI god 2=targets a missile 3=summons cultists from distant temple 4=awakens killer robots who converge here
70 Sports stadium where albino mutant gladiators battle
71 Thousands of candy bars and packaged snack cakes
72 Train wreck with baggage a human remains d4 1=undead 2=mutant creature 3=killer android 4=morlock clan
73 Beautiful underground pleasure garden with gormless eloi, morlock masters in secret observation area monitor their food supply
74 Broken time machine from past with dead crew and possibly a ancient in a cryonic pod
75 Gigantic and edible giant mutant tubers
76 Corpse of a gigantic humanoid
77 Crumbling ruins of office complex d4 1=undead in suits 2=mutant colony 3=mutant animals 4=service robots keeping place tidy
78 Remains of a missile silo complex with intact AI d4 1=doomsday cultists 2=undead soldiers 3=mutant survivors 4=mutant animals
79 Dungeon comples fitted as a prison with torture chambers. Inhabited by variety of monsters and inhabitants roaming about of in lairs guarding treasure caches
80 Huge statue of some ancient god or corporate mascot
81 Remains of old millitary barracks d4 1=undead soldiers 2=security robots 3=mutant survivors 4=mutant animals 
82 Synthetics decommissioning centre with bagged robots and androids, sunlight will re awaken some who fear termination and have become deranges
83 Bowling alley with cultists and androids servicing this "temple" of the ancients
84 Bus depot with wrecked vehicles and terminal building full of baggage and corpses d4 1=undead 2=feral cannibal gang 3=mutant animal 4=secret base of a local faction
85 Huge robotic head, no idea what happened to body, promises is a good guy just help it get body back
86 Brain depository with brains in storage vats, can be communicated with by control panels, many insane or unaware of world outside
87 Green slime bubbling out and spreading from some massive underworld reservoir
88 Underground mushroom farm overgrown with mutants tended by robots and mushroom folk
89 Bubbling lava and smoke from a volcanic vent
90 Geothermal heated bubbling mud from deep in the earth
91 Heated spring water, only slightly radioactive with colourful calcium formations in a delightful underground grotto
92 Theme park ride tunnel with surreal world inside populated by singing androids
93 Underground cave system inhabited by civilised beast folk shocked by hideous mutants from the outside 
94 Rusted bunker complex overgrown with fleshy growths and tentacled hideous oversexed plague carrying mutants
95 Android settlement serving a AI brain hiding from humans
96 Cave system with macroscopic life forms oozing and pulsing, hungry and hostile
97 Mutant albino redneck colony want new lovers or food or both
98 Ancient sex shop full of strange devices, video booths and killer androids roam with strange weapons, vindictive to humans who exploited them
99 Alien base in hiding, stranded here hoping to contact peers for rescue and/or destruction of this horrible planet
100 Cyborg base ruled by AI, always welcome fresh meat and offers super powers for free no catch, honest

Starting Fight Dept: Half races are bullshit





Half races in Games?
Helter Skelter in the Dungeon?
Never been a fan really of 1/2 orcs and 1/2 elves
Im fine with orcs as a core race
Never used half elves
(Though tieflings or planar races less so for some reason)

Also seeing rewrites of lore trying to make make them less rapey is increasingly bizarre. I also have had kids of mixed parents show me passages in dnd5 sections on half elves and cringed at the text that i know is a bunch of cliches that people of various ancestry have dealt with and i could not use in gov or uni policy or essays. If it was a cliche I had to help quash dealing with aboriginal art in 91 it seems really dated now. To a outsider being lost between 2 worlds might be edgy but if you are really in that stereotype 
and people use it to explain your every action it can be less fun. 

The amount of american SF and fantasy with hybrid non humans is kinda bizarre. Star Trek (at least has a reason) V series and others have used this but less common in other traditions like brit stuff. The other cliche is half breed is some kind of messiah. In LOTR there were only a few half elves ever and gods intervened to make them. Lots of race notion tropes in fantasy go back to victorian race theory and nationalism which we ought to be aware of and get over.

Race in gaming is problematic enough. Less trouble with notion of species especially with dragonborn and stuff and making them genetically incompatible Im fine with. Im fine with a demihuman having some human blood or a human with some orc blood but i don't need to create a half race. If they are easily cross bred with no ill effects they may as well all be the same. If like mules they could produce infertile off spring or other complications or children rare it would imply species close but not 100% compatible. I have a elfish/faerie mutation table for this sort of problem. Some beaver types have different numbers of chromosomes and offspring experiment seem mostly cruel disasters and people kept trying.

I think we can do better and more interesting things.
But that's just my opinion....

One version of Tieflings (older ed of dnd 3rd?) made them remnants of a empire that bred with planar beings for power willingly which isnt so bad an idea or at least gives option not based on deciet or force.  I'm all for elemental bloodlines too. Im pretty sure wizards would shag lots of alien beings. Elves or devils breeding with mortals to create a earthborn strain not prone to banishing or summoning or the stars being right is ok too. A religion breeding with planar beings might work too. Rape is best not mentioned often in games for lots of good reasons or at least needs alternatives. My parents did it just to be evil is a bit lame.

In my bx clone you can change class that includes species if you can justify it in drama. In my psychon setting race and gender changes are normal in background tables. In my grittier fantasy setting a dwarf might not be impressed if you used to be human but there are precedents and stuff like this over all has helped these species survive. Perhaps humans trapped in a mine or who fled underground might be aided by a god and turned into dwarfs. Perhaps those buried ancients in burial mound reincarnated as elves and all local elves began like that. You could make all demi humans even closer to human and just let them have a few cosmetic changes and forget racial plusses. I guess some humans might vary on average because of cultural living. Perhaps barbarians are tougher because they survived and those sissy city dwellers with posh manners and lazy living seem more charming and weaker. I tend to think nature and nurture have roles to play but any population of humans should have variations and don't really need racial stats.

If you want to have elf ancestors in your background that's fine but i wont give you stat points for it and you can have attributes of either lineage. I prefer term species and to make them more non human. I'm pretty sure orcs should be just that not that their evil parents had them just to be evil. A bit more detail in this lame way of avoiding lack of consent would be better. How about humans and orcs in places lived along side each other and over generations intermarried without thought and some kids more orkish or more human but they don't really care or mark this as significant.

I can see temptation to make your humans vary with mechanical differences and I have done it but it interests me less. Im not really sure if all frenchies have extra charisma or germans extra con it starts to smack of ww2 race theory. Do the differences even amount to more than a few percent? We killed off lower stats for women with good reasons. A lizard humanoid i would be more convinced might have different stats but I have mostly removed all stat mods in character generation (i have giants that get extra STR points and grow a d12 inches a lv and often change class when they have trouble with doors.

Often in history nobles would change ethnicity while commoners might have much older local bloodlines. What were thought to be great race migrations turned out to be military aristocrats turning up and taking over. In cities of ancient near east this might happen every three generations. Barbarians defeat the city softies and take over. They decide being fancy kings and nice clothes and palaces are ok. Their kids become literate and their grandkids get replaced by another wave of maniacs. Many supposed peoples in history were cultural and material not genetic. People adopted anglo saxon culture in Europe to participate in trade and get away from crumbling post roman culture. Celts were all over Europe and many supposed borders between people got pretty fuzzy. They had more in common with ornaments on metal work than DNA. Romans were far more multicultural than we think of them from older films and books. A few people have been outraged by portrayals of multi ethic romans in modern media and real scholars have smacked them down.

Ive had people tell me this is all too hard and a attack on the genre we should give up this crying about fantasy eugenics because it is too hard and we don't want to give up the genre so accept it warts and all. Michael Moorcock did try and and it shows you can subvert these tropes. Erekose is one of my favourite eternal champions. Using Melnibonians as a metaphor for the British empire was interesting. Interestingly enough victorian race scientists included Semitic people with Caucasians because they wanted to be related to the old testament master race and even made myths of lost tribes of Israel come to England, "the New Jerusalem" (patriotic songs about this). Modern racists now seem determined to separate Semites and Caucasians and separate the brown peoples. It always has been pretty much bullshit and you can do better in your games. In my psychon setting there are no "yellow" or "brown" or "black" or "white" races as we know them. Why not have more blue and green people? I'm fine with spells to permanently change skin colour and sexual characteristics voluntarily. Girdles of femininity/maculinity a cheap cursed object? Really? Nobody would want one? Imagine a marriage ceremony where both had to wear them for a year. I could sell a dozen of them in a hour.



I knew a Dutch-Indonesian-Aboriginal family. Same parents with both boys blond and blue eyes and girls quite asian. Wow did they all have a go at any racist strangers commenting on their backgrounds and they all got teary eyed when i played the didgeridoo to them. Or people telling an Aboriginal that they are too good looking to be Aboriginal and assuming they are asian. I certainly have had strangers think I am not white enough all my life because I'm part Estonian and have epidermal folds and my surname. Most people don't notice this. White racists tend to notice this more like the half all assaults I've had all my life from strangers did not believe I was cracker enough for them. Chinese ppl thinking I'm central Asian or part Chinese never came across as being jerks or held it against me. I learned to dislike racists probably from self interest by age 5.

Planar bloodlines or "taint" i have less of a issue with. They could modify any species the same. Mutants too could be of any species.

I think just being mindful of this stuff helps and if your writing game books think about how your half-born cliches would come across to a kid reading it who has to deal with racist cliches. You could do it well or do it badly or come up with something more imaginative and new.

Back to kids briefly. Do you wanna see what makes similar kids cry with happiness instead? Being included as humans who count. We once got a range of "flesh" coloured paint that was not pink but had a variety of shades of human skin colour and kids cried. They never thought they would see this or be considered normal enough for anyone to bother with including them as human beings. It is amazing what being thoughtful and making effort can do.

Friday 12 July 2019

Help feed a real hobo gamer!





Welcome to share this about as i have had my lease end and too broke to get a new pad so Im officially homeless again and have everything in storage and living on other peoples sofas while i work for free in hospital on my placement while studying. Hopefully I will be finished training enough to have a job I have been promised in a month. Plus money that three banks promised to pay me in 5-21 days from a long drawn out probate happens and I could pretend to be middle class again in a a monthish. Hopefully I will have money to sell my deceased parents house in the country and hopefully buy a unit for me with wall to wall bookshelves.It costs me 30 bux return just to get there plus a hours walk so not really possible to work if i stayed there. Anyway Ive lived out of suitcases for months before and been officially homeless half of last 6 years so I will cope it just sucks.

Im releasing 5 zines a month for a dollar subscription and will do more if higher tiers supported. Links to past 20 or so items are up too so a good time too get in on this. Helps keep me in the hobby and a few freebies open to public. Help feed a real hobo gamer while im living on other peoples sofas! When edited properly the 3folds and one sheet dungeon zines will end up on drive through a buck each

https://www.patreon.com/elfmaidsandoctopi

Thursday 11 July 2019

d100 Gonzo Dungeon Decor




































Unicorn powers activate!
Putting everything in storage and living on sofas for a while again sigh.

d100 Gonzo Dungeon Decor

01 Blinking led lights all over walls with no function, puzzle or point
02 Niches full of giggling drunk and high kobolds who laugh at intruders
03 Open floor panel to monster dressing area where wounded monsters healed and costumes and make up changes for different rolls in the dungeon
04 Dungeon bar where monsters hanging out drinking and ignoring adventurers
05 Punchcard machine where monsters clock on and off, a few monsters watching clock to start shift peacefully until they punch cards and start screaming and waving weapons
06 Luxurious dungeon latrine cleaned by tame gelatinous cube herded by kobold bathroom attendants with bow ties who expect tips and offer hot towels and cologne
07 Bundles of sparking electrical cables through roof 
08 Stone altar with grid of coloured crystals and stone archway in wall. Arranging the crystals opens the arch gateway to strange worlds, often odd creatures come through
09 Posters of the adventurers, wanted as murderers by monsters printed with hand coloured woodblock prints, freshly pasted. Future encounters in dungeon recognise party in horror  
10 Frozen gelatinous cube with remains of crate and straw freshly opened with order note for dungeon supplies signed by a local sub level boss
11 Urinating cherub fountain constantly changes colour, different random effect each user, only work once a day if you drink straight from the stream, any collected turns into urine
12 Storage rack with candles, torches and flints. Once a turn a spirit takes something to replace and light in the dungeon that has gone out 
13 Glass vat 3 yards tall with a wooden seat and ladder on top. The tank is full of sewerage and a tentacled telepathic sewerage monster eagerly awaits fresh night soil to wallow in. It is quite friendly, will asses your recent meals and will discuss other recent monster visits
14 Magic slot machine 1gp a turn. Roll 3d10 on 3x zero gain a gain a magic item and never works for you again, 2x zero gain d100gp, 1x zero gain d100sp. Any other result lose 2d4 HP
15 Theatre props in chests including harmless weapons that look real, armour that offers no defence and is ruined one hit, paste jewellery, robes of nobles that look good but feel fake and are uncomfortable plus several scripts involving tragic murders
16 Magical 3 yard long bronze horn weighs 200lb hanging by chains from roof with steps leading to mouthpiece. Drooling mad goblin says it can summon a god once a month who will grant wishes. Actually are random petty forgotten gods who are mostly cranky about being summoned and most users regret blowing it
17 Painting of a noble feast if entered can join in and eat. Inhabitants are in a 4 hour time loop but live forever. When you leave effects of food and booze instantly wear off. Cannot get a full night rest inside 
18 Infinite staircase goes up or down but as soon as you turn back only 10 foot to start
19 Dungeon beauty contest in progress with cheerful monsters drinking and non threatening. Possibly ask strangers to enter or be a judge but could lead to a riot
20 Goblin selling obscene art decorated pots, naughty art prints, clay tankards with articulated breasts on relief art of nude lady orcs and nude figurines "fertility idols"   
21 Hobgoblin barber shop charges 1cp for haircut or shave, will discus recent dungeon politics and hauntings, will surrender if threatened, possibly a d4 orcs waiting and looking at books about orc ladies, fishing and chariots
22 Old goblin woman with cots of sleeping monster babies, has adoption papers with oaths to sign, explains parents killed by adventurers, accepts donations  
23 Mirror with pocket nightmare dimension, each who enters is attacked by a shadow resembling self, when all killed a demon appears with a chest of lead coins. If taken out of mirror coins turn to gold 
24 Strange luminous mist fills room, causes everyone to lose sense of direction for a turn
25 Kobolds playing volleyball with a fishing net and a explosive floating gas spore resembling a horrible eye monster, invite you to play but only they know secret techniques to handle without explosions
26 Statue of warrior standing on guard with moving bloodshot eyes, looks desperate but cant communicate much, adventurer cursed by petty god, could be saved with stone to flesh
27 Mother dire wolf on pile of straw suckling two orc babies, will snarl but wont attack unless you get within 10 foot
28 Cage full of d6 village idiots kept here waiting for ransoms of turnips and bales of hay and bread, kobold guard happy to accept anything better as idiots eat alot and are lots of trouble and annoying
29 Ogre grinding bones with boulders to make bread in large oven according to family recipe, instructs guests to leave bones in basket and only has d4 loaves for sale 1sp each
30 Goblins in a vat squishing mushrooms with feet to extract juice to make a popular goblin drink. Tastes of shrooms and goblin feet, save or hallucinate for a d4 hours, start small and eventually users have shared fantastic dream and when over awake sweating. 1sp a cup or a bottle for a gp
31 Goblins making bricks with mould from monster faeces and straw, ignore intruders as very busy with a big quota this month
32 Goblin pimp with big furry hat and coat offers you all employment for 50% of your take and will defend you with his switchblade if any customers break contracts
33 Monsters on strike, leader explains won't fight unless paid better by bosses and happy to sell out the dungeon for better conditions and pay
34 Thief trapped in a bronze scorpion idol that snared him when trying to pry out gem eyes, lock in each pincer can be picked to free each arm. If attempt fails pincer snips off hand and tail stings the lock picker for d8 damage plus venom (save or die). Mechanism must be smashed or removing eyes results in setting off pincer trap, tail or bite
35 Creepy doll made of human skin and yeti fur looks valuable and size of child, actually an assassin golem from the black lotus empire. Will try and murder sleeping victims as thief with retractable huge fan
36 Kobold kids building go karts from old boxes and barrels hoping to have a rally when finished
37 Beating heart in a jar guarded by living statues, left by immortal wizard who will die if heart killed
38 Tiny boxing ring with cigar smoking bowler hat wearing kobolds here to see the champ take on challengers. Will offer bets in silver coins. Champ is a high level monk reincarnated
39 Walls are pulsating flesh and some humanoids are harvesting steaks of flesh and filling buckets with blood or dinner
40 Kobold jester offers coins if you listen to his terrible comedy routine involving jokes offensive to humans (how many humans does it take to light a torch? A cleric a wizard and thief go into a bar...)
41 Kenku charlatan offering potions to aid love making and virility, repeats slogans and criticises  adventurers manhood
42 Goblins passed out with pipes and ash on floor except old shaman selling dried smoking fungus and promises divine visions and insight, can see magic for a turn, save or addictive and induces d4 hours of slumber, 1% chance user summons a imp to torment you for life, only 1gp a hit
43 Stone statue of a medusa or basilisk in front of a mirror
44 Art gallery with portraits of local monster bosses or vampires by some poor kidnapped artists
45 Icetoad in a box apparatus used to make ice cream with a crank handle and bags of salt using goats milk and berries. Kobolds here selling 1cp a cone
46 Floor of room with coloured tiles that radiate magic trap. There is no pattern or sequence, 1in6 chance per step you get a magic missile but pattern implies there is a solution. Reality locals avoid or know a password
47 Human trapped in a gibbet moaning, has toungue cut out and badly beaten. Any one getting underneath activates a pit trap. Moving the cage releases poison gas, the lock has a poison needle. Just here to to mess with adventurers
48 Ten foot pit with feather mattress in the bottom with gold coins. Mattress and coins are a mimic occupying a old sprung trap
49 Goblins making hats by boiling them in mercury, all crazy brain damaged idiots, fumes in room unpleasant
50 Goblins scrubbing floors with fermented urine in buckets, they have no fear as life cannot get worse
51 Room with three numbered doors and goblin with a big floppy hat offers you one door try each. Doors change each new user d3 1=save of hit by 4d8 blast of flame 2=medusa in chains 3=healing potion
52 Goblin jester offers party pick one of four chests d4 1=d1000cp 2=d1000sp 3=d100gp 4= mimic 
53 Imp offers to release one of three cages with a woman inside only one is real, feel free to ask questions but prisoners don't know about other cages d3 1=wearing a hooded robe is a medusa 2=succubi pretending to be a innocent 3=swearing woman thief demands to be released from this oppressive patronising cliche
54 Goblins smashing and burning marble statues of frightened adventurers to make lime for brick mortar, 2d6 unbroken statues could be restored with stone to flesh magic
55 Goblin wizard Lv1 with stone to flesh wand making dungeon rubble into piles of meat for buddies having a cook up, d6 charges left
56 Humanoids having a dance battle team contest with a 100gp prize, tough colourful gangs all snear at intruding adventurers chances and lame moves, goblin bards provide music with orc MC. Bookie gives you lower odds than the necromancer and his dancing zombies
57 Kobolds throwing garbage and stuff into a pit with a gate at the bottom that opens into a huge multi planar garbage mound used by dozens of dimensions, locals unimpressed
58 Fissure releasing pleasant steam into room, old goblin woman will rent towels, sell beer or cold water or thrash you with birch saplings if that is your taste 
59 Goblin wizard offer injections of troll blood to make you into regenerating super humans
60 Pit with gold coins and a shiny helmet with a permanent light spell on it in bottom. A troll with an invisibility spell waits patiently, a wizard recasts spell every few days
61 Strange lever if touched hand becomes glued to it with a failed save, if stuck must be pulled off leaving skin but causes d6 damage and -2 all rolls for a d4 days with that hand
62 Tired old goblin woman with six ogre babies in nappies wiping faeces on walls, biting and pinching each other. On sucking on a semiprecious stone worth 40gp but it wont give it up. Goblin will sell you babies then flee dungeon forever
63 Three witches with cauldron offer each of you one choice of three identical magic potions d3 1=poison save or die 2=potion of healng 3=save or cursed with hideous witch face. Will cackle and vanish in a stinking cloud if threatened64 Kobolds with bound troll selling cuts of cooked troll streak. Troll screams and swears constantly. A few other humanoids here eating peacefully
65 Goblins guarding "humans" in a cage will flee on sight of adventurers. The grateful doppelgangers offer to aid and join you and await a good opportunity to eat rescuers 
66 Cluster of modified shrieker fungi shaped like melted brass wind instruments, if startled will play music causing kobolds in uniform to roll out a red carpet to next doorway and offer welcomes
67 Kobold selling werewolf milk "makes you strong and feisty"
68 Zombie farm animals in pens including goats, pig, sheep and a pony with a dark elf child dressed as a farmer who made all this for fun. If angered or attacked the animals attack
69 Black hat gnomes with a owlbear in a cage plumbed into a box milking it for bile for use in alchemy. They are rude and grumpy bullies. If released owlbear will go berserk and kill them
70 Goblin with large wiggling crates with slots, for a fee you can stab the monster inside and increase your prowess risk free. Sell creature heads mounted on plagues or skins as trophies to impress your friends. Goblin promises what happens in dungeon stays in the dungeon
71 Lady gnoll sitting at a booth gnawing on a leg with sign "ethical advice - 1sp" she will tell you it is totally ok to do any horrible act or deed unless it involves harming or robbing her
72 Magic mirror if looked in reveals what you will look like when reincarnated in hell d4 1=lowly human headed larvae writhing in a pit farmed by devils 2=imp fighting with other imps for favour more powerful devils 3=your face on a hellgoat butt vomiting up excrement 4=lowly lesser devil tending a larvae pit
73 Goblin with huge crate offer to sell you a giant battle crab with a llist of commands and runs if given money. Giant crab if released goes on beserk killing frenzy
74 Robed devil cultists with idols of lords of hell offering great deals on souls offering wish like rewards turned terrible by hello lawyers, just sign in blood
75 Clan of albino cave folk offer monster ivory and meat to buy a party member for marriage to save them from inbreeding and extinction 
76 Mirror if looked at forms image of a face, the spirit of the dungeon. It will answer a question per person per day but will mostly lie and offer terrible advice. Will offer you your own lair if you promise to stay and serve the dungeon ecology
77 Sad old pathetic man monsters allow to live out of sadism. Was a paladin who killed some orc babies and has been excommunicated and cursed to never leave. Bitter, swears and complains about young adventurers and their elaborate backgrounds and caring about monster rights
78 Kobold selling potions of gender change, berserker blades and hats of reverse alignment at low low prices
79 Goblin erotic dancers will put on a show for 1sp on tiny stage with poles and mirrors and costumes, 1cp a beer, no touching the goblins permitted by bugbear bouncer
80 Classroom with child humanoids with a old vulture folk school teacher teaching them evil runes, ruination and rioting skills. Charts depict humans as horrible killing machines. Teacher will ask if adventurers will answer adorable children's questions "why do you hate us?" "why did you steal our land?" "why cant you get honest jobs?" "why did you kill my parents?"  
81 Wizard pointing to blueprints of dungeon on table as it should be to kobolds with miners hats shrugging. Wizard offers party jobs as foremen or site managers or safety inspectors
82  Kobolds unpacking crates labelled "armageddon device" and assembling a huge apparatus according to instruction manual. They are feuding over lost parts, interpreting the manual and where will they get the 100 unsullied virgin souls to start it up
83 Surly teenage goblins drinking beer, smoking, flexing muscles and holding knives "wanna know what you are looking at"
84 Elderly goblin woman in room with stone benches offers genuine trained giant snail massages 1cp. A pen of voracious hungry flail snails is close but she knows how to calm them before use but if threatened she lets them loose
85 Party of adventurers arguing over a bound black clad knight. Half the party say it is ok to torture and kill the anti-paladin but other half argue the prisoner is a legitimate knight of the realm and deserves fair treatment and to be held hostage or a fair trial
86 Goblins with bound wizard and a sign "1cp a punch or 1gp for a stab" have several healing potions and a box with a d1000cp and a d20gp. Wizard wants to go home badly. Goblins will swap wizard for a bound troll
87 Tiny village of gremlins and their pet rats swarm, will mobilise against "giants" and sound their kaiju alert bells. Women and children flee into shelters while army mobilise with light crossbows on wheels six can operate
88 Moaning man with bag on head, gagged and chained to pillar, is a flesh golem insane with hatred for any living born creatures somehow left here years ago. If gagged will say anything to be released then go on killing spree
89 Room with lave river through middle and a balancing beam to cross. Kobolds are roasting sausages on sticks over the heat and will flee if threatened
90 Iron turret in ceiling allowing 6 kobolds to shoot below through slots and are very hard to hit. Has a locked door and they use a rope ladder to get in or out
91 Old kobold with bloated belly and beard laying on ground. Will shake his walking stick and swear at travellers provoking them to kill him. On death explodes for 2d4 damage to all in 20 foot radius save or infected with parasitic worms and lose a move point a day until you end up like him or a cure disease spell lets you vomit and shit them out
92 A cleric has set up a clinic to heal monsters and preaches to them about turning good and the wonders of their kind forgiving deity. Will reluctantly treat "murder hobos" if they have a good reason for being here
93 A party of dead adventurers laying about, leap to their feet now hungry ghouls, utter abuse and vile threats while attacking, some will stop to search intestines for gems or loot bodies if they kill someone rather than the best tactical decisions. Once a well known murder hobo party
94 Two orc priests having a argument look pleased to see adventurers who might aid their debate. One sez everyone should look after their own kind and and humans will never tolerate orcs in their cities and schools and markets. Other sez humans are just ignorant intolerant bigots who will eventually come around and eventually even marry orcs and let them have good jobs
95 Angel pleased to see adventurers. Killed some humanoids but found their babies and needs party to take care of them so she can return to heaven to complete her mission. Makes you swear to do the right thing and promises when she gets free chance will pop in to visit and reward you
96 Portcullis gates seal the room with party inside. Wizard steps out and offers them deed of ownership of the dungeon for cash and magic or new spells. If you have nothing leaves and laughs while ringing a bell to signal creatures to a feast
97 Gang of evil halfling thieves in black hoods. Pleased to see visitors and offer poisoned beer while surrounding party for a stab happy fun time
98 Two old kobolds debating if dungeon maps should be in blue or have lots of cross hatching, each has a d4 old dungeon maps and direction to find them   
99 Fancy gilded crypt of a bard. Spirit insists it will reward you with 100gp for a good song performance but if bad mummy arises to attack with a d6x100gp coins spilling out. Offer spectral music to accompany the singers. Anyone doing opera or performing froghop and not a frog folk immediately angers the bard spirit. Has a magic harp also in crypt.
100 A goblin market selling all kinds of strange items and mushroom products with visiting humanoids and demihumans