d100 What's in the Dungeon Guard's Footlocker?

Spent two days as paid kids workshop artist at art fair. Big event. Got to see what sells now. Cool to see a girl into colouring books and public collaborator. Lots of 70s photorealism and geometric stuff again, reminded me of my grad show nine years back. But im inspired again.

So I have two game cons, two zine fairs and two art exhibits. Paste-Modernism4 (PM4) a international paste up themed show and a work show. Over rest of year then its time to prep for my annual return to Adelaide, game with old crew and see who among my freaky friends now has children. Will be trying to get full time work or more of my business running again. Xmas a good time to try and finish a book. Will be selling old zine stock this weekend. I have lots of old titles to print for now but would be good if i could have inside a month some gamer zines. Have 3x a4 sheet lair booklets and will do a knock up Elfmaids and octopi table compilation book 36pg A4. A new colouring book as adults are colouring book mad right now. I will make some PDFs available for collectors or put on LuLu. My older conspiracy books alas are taken as gospel by loonies and they are not as funny as they were ten years ago. Spicy Pony secret fantasy number #7 is half done too. A graffiti or hipster art colouring book could all be done too under the Hobo Press licence. This means anyone in the book can produce and sell copies as they please. Nobody else can. All artworks are owned by artists and cannot be reproduced or copied without permission of individual art creator or owner.  

Dungeon Foot Lockers
Dungeon monsters with good pay get a footlocker as a status symbol. Something they can carry or watch a slave struggle with. Something to put at the foot of your bed. Something to keep your holy signs, ancestral tokens, grog and booty in. Poor dungeons only the boss monsters get them but they are very common by any bed in a dungeon or occasionally in storage.

1d6x10 pounds mass typically most 30lb

d10 Styles
1 Wicker basket with leather fastener straps
2 Leather trunk with bone handles and a lock
3 Wooden fruit box, nailed shut
4 Wooden box with lock and wooden handles
5 Heavy wooden box with rope handles and stencils designs, padlocked shut
6 Wooden box with metal corners and lock
7 Wooden box with riveted metal edges and big lock
8 Small wooden chest with lock
9 Medium wooden chest with metal reinforcing and lock
10 Metal chest with d6 locks and chains

d10 Security
1 Owner preys to spirits and hopes
2 Owner threatens everyone lots
3 Covered in something that stinks or itches
4 Covered in threatening warnings in several languages
5 Poison needle on opening mechanism
6 Sythe blade cuts hand off opener
7 Fires 2d4 darts each causes d3 each 1in6 chance also poisoned
8 Encourage hand size spider, snake or scorpion to nest under and protect it
9 Baby screaming fungus sits on top sleeping
10 Magical sub-table

d10 Magical Security
1 Fireblast 1d4+3
2 Electric shock 1d8 +3
3 Lock held unless password given
4 Chest moves away from thieves
5 Alarm magically signals owner if intruded
6 Cursed if removes goods without permission
7 Stinking cloud released if forced open
8 Magic mouth appears screaming thief thief!
9 Gremlin guards the chest
10 A Imp guards the chest

d10 Quick what's in the Dungeon Guard's Footlocker?1 Utensils
2 Snacks
3 Laundry 
4 Trap
5 Field supplies
6 Tools
7 Loot
8 Pet
9 Trench Art
10 Strange Thing

d100 What's in the Dungeon Guard's Footlocker?

01 Battered old pewter tankard

02 Wooden tankard
03 Drinking Horn
04 Water skin
05 Wooden spoon
06 Small knife
07 Ceramic mug and plate and bowl
08 Wooden mug and plate and bowl
09 Tin spoon
10 Small tin or clay jug
11 Cheese 1in6 maggoty
12 Onions or leeks
13 Turnips or cabbage
14 Mushrooms or berries
15 Large snails
16 Wormy apples
17 Mouldy bread
18 Beer or wine
19 Dried meat
20 Frogs
21 Old boots
22 Spare socks
23 Belt
24 Hat
25 Underclothes
26 Shirt
27 Shaving kit
28 Bar of soap
29 War paint
30 Filthy old clothes with holes
31 Loaded crossbow
32 Snake or spider or scorpion
33 Acid sprayer
34 Zombie hand
35 Poison gas
36 Knockout gas
37 Contact poison (burns on touch)
38 Kit for trap never installed
39 Mould with dangerous spores if inhaled
40 Petty demon or devil appears
41 Backpack
42 Rope 50 foot coil
43 Spare dagger
44 Hatchet
45 Bag of 1d6 spear heads
46 Heavy cloak
47 Chain 10 foot length
48 Sleeping bag 
49 Tent
50 Camp stove and pot
51 Small spade
52 Small pick
53 Hammer or mallet
54 Two foot crowbar
55 Sickle
56 Tin or wooden bucket
57 Oil and whetstone
58 Tinderbox with flint and steel
59 Tin lantern or terracotta hand oil lamp
60 Box of candles and tin or ceramic holder
61 Purse of 1d100 copper
62 Purse of 1d10 silver
63 Gold coin
64 Ladies broach or bracelet
65 Necklace with rat skulls 
66 Bag of shells used as trade goods or jewelry
67 Statuette head made or marble or bronze
68 Set of dentures with small amount of gold
69 Copper ring or armband
70 Enameled copper medallion or broach or cloak pin
71 Pet gremlin
72 Large toad
73 Cuddly feral kitten (actually he bites and scratches lots)
74 Adorable scruffy puppy (trained to hate elves)
75 Big purple grub with sting
76 Flesh eating beetle
77 Hand sized bluebottle fly
78 Adorable baby gremlin 
79 Rabid giant rat
80 Insane kobold with knife 
81 Human ear neclace
82 Decorated human skull
83 Human helmet turned into funeral urn
84 Set of human knucklebones
85 Flute carved from human femur
86 Set of human bone dice
87 Shrunken human head
88 Carved human bones with poem
89 Human skull ashtray
90 Carved human bone chess pieces 
91 Squat statuette of vile demonic god 
92 Holy symbol of a cult
93 Fragments of old books, mostly kept cool pictures
94 Terracotta statuettes of family used to prey to
95 Strange gold lump with octopus stamp
96 Black powder cast iron ball grenade with 5 second fuse
97 Collection of possibly narcotic plants and mushrooms
98 Erotic print or tiny statuette, collect them all
99 Necklace d4 1=fragment of iron from meteor 2=amber 3=holy symbol 4=
100 Magic d4 1=Lucky Fetish +1 save d6 times 2=d6 healing potion 3=berserk potion 4=slimy eyeball of elder evil god concealed in ring used to spy on mortals

Another shooting fish in a barrel  post