Thursday, 2 November 2017

d100 Cruel Pranks for Witches & Dark Fey





Witches and elves and faeries can be jerks. Best not to offend them but you might have done so just by being noticed by them. Oops I probably just offended some now. Jerks.

This was a quick and fun one only took a hour. The marine one before took 3 days.


d100 Cruel Pranks for Witches & Dark Fey
01 Kill farm animals and make them zombies
02 Put poison spiders in farmers clogs 
03 Poison the local well with lust potions
04 Cast illusions of plague symptoms on travellers
05 Cast illusions on huge spiders to look like puppies
06 Make illusions of ghosts
07 Make farm tools invisible and leave on paths
08 Let invisible wolves loose in area
09 Turn peoples children into bats or rats
10 Replace roast joints in oven with human flesh

11 Cast illusions on dangerous mushrooms to look normal
12 Cast ilusion on baby so parents think it is a changeling

13 Leave fake evidence a loner is a werewolf
14 Steal goods and leave them in neighbours house
15 Hold doors fast with spell then set fire to house
16 Make animals go crazy with drugs or spells
17 Use ventriloquism to make farmer think animals inteligent
18 Leave invisible snakes everywhere
19 Lead a rust monster around at night to ruin all a farmers tools
20 Poop down chimney into stew pot
21 Scare cows and chickens so they give no eggs or milk
22 Steal arrows off locals and shoot travellers with them
23 Spread spoors of giant fungi over granaries or rooftops
24 Burn down a barn or storehouse in winter 
25 Cover crops in hallucinogenic fungi spoors
26 Leave false clues that local elderly are witches
27 Use ventriliquism to make animals tell children to do dreadful things
28 Leave treasonous documents in house and inform lawmen
29 Leave dead body in the well 
30 Tell sylvan beings local humans tried to harm their children
31 Tell centaurs and satyrs how attractive local human women are 
32 Encourage dryads to kidnap all the men while out farming
33 Destroy food stores with magic
34 Raise dead family members or pets as zombies as a surprise
35 Blunt all tools by night
36 Unpick thread from clothing and leather goods
37 Shave animals with ridiculous patterns and dye their hair
38 Crap in peoples boots
39 Enlarge vermin with spells
40 Take people to faerie land and return them hundreds of years later
41 Get humans addicted to magical elf food left out as delicious treats
42 Taint human food with werewolf blood
43 Replace candles with ones made from human fat from missing reletives
44 Tell bandits or tax collector that farmers have secret treasure
45 Warp wooden tools or roof or walls of houses with magic
46 Dig up dead relatives and arange aound the house as if alive
47 Turn someone into a cat and set own dogs on them
48 Taint food with mutagenic chaos mushrooms
49 Take the form of local and go stab happy then flee
50 Cast sleep on household then arrange in compromising positions
51 Take form of locals and beat up the village priest
52 Sell farmers children to beatmen as slaves, invite beastmen to collect them
53 Convince beavers to gnaw down trees to fall on human houses
54 Put magic glue in shoes and in hats
55 Magically grow beards on babies with cantrips
56 Put holes in every bucket and pot in a household
57 Put leaks in roof
58 Make horrible sounds at night keeping everyone awake in fear
59 Give local dogs rabies
60 Send swarm of rats to eat all household food
61 Send swarm of birds to eat all farmers crops
62 Animate scarecrow as a wood golem and make it beat up farmer
63 Teach local birds to utter obscenities or terrible gossip
64 Steal fillings of pies and replace with feces
65 Move trappers traps to places where villagers get hurt
66 Encourage tree people to stop humans murdering their kin to build houses
67 Put invisible knives in backs of chairs, in beds on doorhandles
68 Make poison toads look like delicious fruit with illusions
69 Leave murdered animals inside out nailed to walls
70 Piss in beer and add snake heads and magic mushrooms
71 Make eerie lights at night scaring everyone
72 Rub toads on peoples faces in sleep causing horrible warts
73 Encourage children to lick newts driving them crazy with narcotic secretions
74 Drop huge deadly icicles on people coming out of house in cold mornings
75 Cast illusion on farmer that they are brutish orcs so friends attack them
76 Turn locals into deer and encourage local hunters to to catch them
77 Put stinging nettles inside peoples clothes while they sleep
78 Use magic to make every fertile woman pregnant with changeling children
79 Turn farmer into a donkey then beat with sticks then turn back after a few days
80 Sneak cockatrice eggs into the farmyard chicken coops
81 Put giant leeches in chamber pot
82 Settle stirge nests in the roof of local house
83 Put illusions on beastfolk so they can trick humans into sex 
84 Cut off bards fingers and suck out their eyeballs
85 Turn farmers horse into a centaur and encourage it to beat farmer who mistreated it
86 Turn goats into goatmen and explain how human eat their babies
87 Attract a ogre to a local cave and give kids a fake treasure map to the cave
88 Encourage a giant snake to sneak into house and eat babies
89 Set fire to haystacks while young lovers are inside
90 Turn pigs into orcs and give them weapons
91 Startle horses while pulling waggon causing terrible accident
92 Loose a fully grown crocodile in local watering hole where kids like to swim
93 Encourage pet Ice toad to sit on roof at night to freeze house and frostbite the crops
94 Summon a Imp to torment the household invilibly
95 Set gremlins loose on household who start increasingly dangerous trickery
96 Kidnap children and leave illusion covered goblins in their place
97 Encourage giant burrowing insects to eat crops and leave huge holes everywhere
98 Draw obscene and blasphemous graffiti on house walls 
99 Lure away children to life of slavery in elfland using treats and toys
100 Whisper locals secrets and private thoughts causing fights and feuds

2 comments:

  1. This is great. Now I’d like another table for gentle pranks of the kindly but mischievous fey.

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    Replies
    1. gentle pranks don't tend to alarm authorities, panic villagers or get much attention - most faerie folk jerks in my game - even good elves idea of a laugh is infecting human with lycanthropy

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