So some players away and after last retreat from frost giants Milknog the druid and Linden the bard decided to explore sea bed while they had the chance a planned for a while. Both could breathe water and could speak aquatic languages. Milknog has speak killer whale and undersea common, while Linden has speak eel. They went via underground rivers through the mountain and visited Schmoo the killer whale who is now a young adult 9HD. The sea floor near the awful whaler and sea town of Blood Sand Beach was dead covered in rotten gore, grey sludge and starfish.
Got chased by great white sharks with tatoos but the killer whale outraced them. Linden asked local eels if any wrecks about and the lads crawled inside an ancient empire treasure ship. Of course a giant octopus attacked and bothered them a while till it fled with its inky cloud. Scmoo ate the octopus and while guys healing the evil sharks attacked. Was pretty tough, Milknog took over 50 damage and Schmoo lucked out and was bareley hurt.
Some nixies saw the battle and called to the undersea court who sent a princess and her entourage of tako, merfolk and sea elves to show them the entrance to the undersea fairyland the good sea kingdom had retreated to. The princess invited them to her home and offered them shimmering scaled robes of the sea court. Fish servants helped them change and fed them urchins and caviar and jellyfish treats. The princess took linden aside and turned her tale to legs and they spent a night together. Sung about her beauty and good taste. Then she told him to not tell daddy and showed him her draconic form. Linden asked druid if it was a problem his elf wife and thief girlfriend would mind. Milknog shrugged and said "as long as everyone is happy".
Taken to court where the eel prince gave Linden a ring to summon a giant eel steed daily as a reward for aiding eelkind. Entertained by sea creature musicians in a disney like showcae of xylophonist crabs and other undersea cliches. Linden joined in and sung about how wonderful life here was. Met the king of the western ocean in his titan form and he declared he had heard of heroes and told them of the evil axis of demonic vampire manta rays, fish-lizard hybrid humanoids and and other evils. Revealed the lord of Blood Sand Beach a part ogre son of a sea hag who must die. Also gave them map to evil sea dragon who guards weed of eternal life. Eat it straight away though as t will attract all sorts of evil. Mentioned his grandma Tiamat spawned many evils in past before she adopted current form and moved to hell through the volcanic vent on Dragon island.
Linden asked about availability of sea kings daughter and he was furious about a mortals grubby interest in his precious virgin daughter and thew them out. Demanded they leave kingdom in 24 hours for offending his honour with this indecent proposal. Linden sadly resigned himself to not having a sea dragon lover and spent 24 hours shagging sea elves and mermaids. He did notice some fish following him. Dirty bastards.
Milknog met undersea druids, elves and visited great libraries of the western ocean. Boned up on his sea lore, evil sea gods, evil sea races who fled under the earths surface long ago and the planes of elemental water. When collecting baggage princess was outraged at linden and he recognized those damn fish spies whispering in her ear. He claimed he did it from remorse but she had tako octopus manservants throw the lads and their baggage out. Schmoo the whale carried them back to Exile Island and the walked to their homes.
Linden worked on his resort plans. He now hates fish "the dirty dobbing bastards". Gets his eel buddies to keep fish away from his pad.
"Fucking Fish! I'm going to turn you spying fish fucks into fish fingers!!"
Milknog visited his wife and his secret sylvan valley. His megaliths surrounded by thorn mazes guarded by centaurs and creatures he had befriended like a giant rhino beetle and a giant gecko. Inside two headed bears defend his holy nannygoats who are intelligent and very wise. They raise all the weird creatures he has been breeding. Also a nanny in his home as a nurse for his gnome daughter.
A very weird session.
Remember: loose fish sink ships!