d100 Psychon Apocalypses

 

I was thinking one problem of planet psychon is when you generate a random hex and players turn up and taste everything and look for trouble its fine but once a few sessions have gone by sometimes players start putting down roots. In D&D its great but planet Psychon is more like a 70s tv fantasy show where yo wander around finding new failed societies in crisis. Part of the game is generating weird hexes like a mini game for dm prep. Possibly players could be involved too. Its a very collage ad hoc sandbox. So when players had dealt with evil androids in a decopunk frozen waste they really liked the deco bunker and wanted to stay in a somewhat boring place that most of the problems were over. So time for some odd omens, or strangers from over the hex border who found a crossing needing help, or an AI god to offer more adventures further away. 

These are a bunch of things that start to indicate big changes are afoot. The AI gods might at a whim terraform the hex, disintegrating everything, storing spirits in the matrix, and assemble some new world with brand new ruins to explore and brand new lost languages and history. You don't want to be there when it does start because surviving it is unpredictable and you might even get your mind and experiences rewritten and your body changed to another species. It might take 2 or 3 of these to really finish off a hex and prepare it for renewal.

Slaughter Seven was a vast domed theme park where various murder sports were played in vast simulated environments. Some say it was one of the Early awakened AI and was a big influence on all the AI gods.

Psychotronic devices and hallucinogenic warfare warheads were common ancient weapons and helped the apocalypse be weirder.
 
d10 Quick Apocalypse Types
1 Natural Disaster

2 Technological Disaster 

3 Mindless Violence

4 Biological Infestartion

5 Cleansing Invasion

6 Orbital Terraforming Operation

7 Psychotronic Rays

8 Slaughter Seven murder sports

9 Natural Renewal

10 Ancient idiot legacies

d100 Psychon Apocalypses
01 Flood as water levels rise, rivers and seas overflow banks and sea monsters prolific
02 Drought as rivers and lakes disappear, plants die off, mobile life leaves as choking dust clouds dump sand everywhere
03 Ice and frost cover everything and snows come, water stops flowing as bound up in ice, glaciers and avalanches smother areas
04 Heat and volcanic vents open everywhere, boiling water and mud, releasing smoke and raining hot coals and ash as a volcano grows
05 Earthquakes destroy major structures, collapse mountains, open and close vast canyons
06 Windstorms batter land and lightning damages structures and starts firess, trees uprooted, areas flooded or buried in rubbish
07 Meteorite or orbital falls from the heavens causing a vast explosion and covering land in dirt and ash and the shockwave destroys or damages most surface structures
08 Fires overtake every available fuel in vegetation or buildings while blistering heat waves seem to ignite spot fires hourly (orbital lasers might be seen)
09 Great solar sails cover the sky drowning out all light and causing a great chill and destroying plant life
10 Snap cold of below zero sweeps land like a lethal cloud killing plants and animals rapidly and covering everything in frozen water from the atmosphere
11 A great growing cloud of atomic plasma forms disintegrating everything into the atomic soup and scouring the earth
12 Nuclear device is detonated destroying an area and damaging the rest of the region with shockwaves and fallout
13 Recycler robots in a huge swarm have come to recycle everything
14 Giant construction mecha and defence drone fleet bulldoze everything 
15 Machines come and start cladding ground in metal and replacing everything with machines even animal life with robots who form a complex machine ecology
16 Orbital satellites atomise vast areas with rays from the heavens then fabricate a new world in the largest clear areas
17 Sky blinks out and is really a vast dome, various natural systems actually machine operated cease like flowing water and atmosphere as lights go out. Eventually, the atmosphere is removed and terraforming machines come in
18 Vast powdery flood of nanobots revert everything to carbon and basic materials, later other nanites arrive to reshape a new reality 
19 Mounds arise and open doors with strange sirens making local life enter hypnotically for recycling and construction mecha arrive to remodel the area
20 Android replicants slowly replace everybody recording beings' lives as they replace them. Even animals and insects. Eventually, it becomes impossible to hide and all the androids have to round up the remaining life for replacement so construction mech and terraformers are brought in
21 Factions formerly at peace or tolerating each other turn to bloody violent purge as some signal set off. After each faction is eliminated they appoint a new target even splitting by generations, gender, preferred tv show franchise or game edition until everybody dead. People seem to be easily swept up into these groups like a backup personality
22 Factions mount a major war and various caches of destructive weapons are found allowing sides to exterminate each other
23 Every living thing has a vicious doppelganger android released who seeks their mirror image and then any organic life. The doppelgangers know your personal secrets and tactics too well
24 OVernight two new actions appear in a population splitting them and ignoring traditional prejudice, then the factions grow more hostile and go to war
25 A faction of the elderly armed with advanced technology decide to destroy all the young and start again. Once complete their mania ends and most die off sad and alone
26 Biggest faction persecutes a minority and drive them into their last bastion. One ally with them is shown a cache of forbidden doomsday weapons they are sworn to never use. The outsider has no such compunctions and exterminates everyone outside the bunker
27 Mutations are overrunning all life, and the non-mutated become increasingly paranoid and persecute mutants. Great mutant hordes arise and attack the last bastion of unchanged and both sides seek doomsday weapons preferring mutually assured destruction to not winning
28 A faction raises dedicated to killing a small enclave who claim they maintain the region in serenity. Once destroyed the systems supporting the land change and become increasingly alien and toxic
29 Two factions mobilise for a war covering everything in a muddy trench filled wasteland of ruins and death. The air grows more toxic as food runs out
30 Several key resources vanish and factions all struggle to control the finite amount they have left and civilisation unravels into survivalist maniacs as basics dry up
31Plague outbreak from a foul miasma covers land in death, some plagues might destroy plants killing off animals and food supplies
32 Kaiju mega monsters awake and then others arrive and they battle oblivious to destruction or tine people or buildings. Some like to eat certain power structures
33 Mutations appear everywhere and some of the more mindless ones begin to hybridize and merge assimilating everything into a vast sea of hungry protoplasm
34 A great red weed overgrows and smothers everything like a fleshy twitching carpet. Even grows on creatures overcoming them so they fall and merge 
35 Plants die off causing creatures that can to flee, eating the plant matter is poisonous
36 People begin morning into horrible living biological weapons who eat and infect others
37 Swarmsof millions of devouring beetles swarm over everything eating anything organic then move of once reduces to rubble
38 Spores rain down transforming living into monstrosities that devour and reproduce with those not affected
39 Flesh growths pour from holes and caves smothering everything and surrounding settlements. Strange ameboid and fleshy horrors arise from flesh to hunt those fleeing or hiding
40 Undead begin arising from any dead body increasingly faster. The undead hunger for the living
41 Swarm of group ming hyper carnivorous monsters pour over the border eating everything and people try in vain to barricade their homes and hold out a few hours
42 Military robots and combat mecha swarm over the border blasting and intelligent life who resist. Prisoners are taken away for reconditioning elsewhere
43 A foreign land launches a huge invasion and will aim to destroy most factions and assimilate those who don't resist much
44 A biological organism in a hidden place infects others into its hive mind and can create dominators and drone servitors from other life. The being is poised to wipe out all intelligent life who could resist and has infected animals overrunning an area and dominators in position to infect fresh prisoners. At a certain point, the gods sterilise everything with a bubble of solar plasma from space
45 Blank faced android army comes over the border with ancient weapons of destruction killing anyone without a word or reason
46 Advanced army of smiling clones using gas and don destructive lethal weapons. Seem happy to be removing everyone's suffering and convinced they are helping and beg people to not resist. May sterilise areas with neutron bombs or short-life radiation 
47 Swarm of mutant soldiers swarm over the border with contaminating weapons and mutagenic weapons. Also carry plagues and bring cyborg monster minions
48 Cyborg army pours over the border and assimilates any living things into their hive mind with cybernetics. Some try to convince locals to give up and live forever. Once they purge the land they all die off and recycling robots gather their scraps and databanks
49 Several armies pour over the border and wage war with competing AI playing a game of tactics. Once war ends all combatants die off and new armies arrive 
50 An army appears convinced they are fighting the final war long ago. They assume strange life and non-combatants are psychotronic and chemical illusions so they don't ask questions
51 Orbital lasers rain down vapourising various structures and burning everything
52 Kinetic kill orbital weapons drop rocks targeted on structures and settlements
53 Teleporter array strip methodical sections of land into rock while others assemble a new world shortly behind
54 Dust rains from the sky and overnight fungus walls grow making barriers most can pass and seal in settlements which are slowly absorbed. Once all land is covered mass collapses and new terrain and life grow from the pulpy remains
55 Teleporter beams from space systematically disintegrate everything into its data buffer for later 
56 Space combat drones attack from ancient orbital carriers blasting everything into rubble
57 Dropships of android troops land to attack nearby settlements and deploy swarms of drones and robots that are fueled by found organic matter
58 Colony pod drops from orbit bringing in a new faction of space survivors determined to replace local civilisation and life with pre-apocalypse versions
59 A vast atmosphere processor drops from orbit and begins changing the atmosphere of an area and placing a force dome on the region 
60 Rapidly growing alien spores are deployed growing a vast and alien jungle that envelops everything and damages technological structures and technology reverting everyone to a primitive state
61 Psychotronic orbital mind control rays beam up the consciousness of all sentient life, leaving them unconscious vegetables
62 Psychotronic rays revert everyone to prehistoric savages who hate and shun any non-muscle-based technology burning it or smashing it
63 Psychotronic rays reprogram inhabitants changing their relationships, language, history and memories into a new civilisation. Sometimes populations will even swap locations or AI gods will make them new settlements and destroy the abandoned ones
64 Population turns against a growing psionic population stimulated and enabled by psychotronic technology and a bloodbath eliminates both sides as weapons and powers grow more severe
65 Population are reprogrammed into believing they are part of a military force and mobile to invade another land anointed for destruction by gods
66 Psychotronic rays turn most of the population into cannibal psychos who feel no pain
67 Psychotronic fields replace the personalities of all humanoids with those of ancients trapped in the matrix during the apocalypse. Most are confused and frightened and unable to cope with weird life and strange new bodies
68 Psychotronic rays sweep over the land putting all into states of pleasant heavenly dreams while their bodies die
69 Psychotronic rays amplify and enable psionic potential and societies with ESP and thoughts that can kill will destroy them all
70 Psychotronic rays and a strange new addictive fruit leave most life lazy, indolent and barely able to move or interact within a few days and most die off over the following weeks only interested in lotus fruit and relaxing
71 Most of the population die asleep mysteriously. Those that survive are told by machine voices of an ancient reality show that they must hunt their allocated targets to survive. Each receives a bracelet that indicates when their target or their hunter is near 
72 Machines inform the population it's time to fight or die as a rival population from elsewhere comes to wage war. Each is promised immortality and luxury forever and various machines give commentary. Most advanced weapons and technology won't work unless AI want to contain an area or redirect people
73 Most of the population is overcome with laziness and hedonism and any who don't are marked as victims to be hunted by the rest of the population promising them the luxury to those who kill any non-conformists. The indolent people rapidly die off from a lack of self-care
74 Two AI gods declare a proxy war. Any who doesn't join their faction has technology shut down and is marked as targets who give killers points that can use to claim more weapons
75 AI declares only a few chosen will survive and place various obstacles and puzzles hiding the victory markers. Gaining one and getting to a border you are rewarded with life. Many go crazy for the race and go on murder sprees to get a token
76 Most of the advanced weapons and tech stop working as an advanced army ok exotic killers arrive to finish of local. Natives all are assigned a score and the hunters have a tracker device informing them of the best scoring targets to hunt and kill
77 Clones of famous historical evil-doers swarm over the border killing and eating anyone in their path who doesn't join them. They are armed and have vehicles and mounts and can't explain why they are cooperating. Machines explain killing your chosen seven killers will earn you an exit from the game 
78 Most of the population explodes into homicidal mania purging any who don't join in or fight. A select number of inhabitants are told they are chosen and can escape if they reach a certain location with various stop-off rest points where the maniacs avoid
79 Teleporter complexes appear offering all who volunteer to enter a life of eternal paradise without want. After the willing go people begin to feel compelled to swarm them and kill others who might reach them first. An AI offers to reward some survivors if they recover certain game tokens in form of artefacts
80 Overnight most of the population vanish and all structures are in ruins and animal and plant life become mutated and hostile. Certain survivors are informed if they can recover a certain relic and get to the border they can escape
81 Area begins to change over days into a vastly different place with animals and people changing species, the new life forms will unite against the old unchanged ones
82 Jungles and forests rapidly grow and many people and creatures experience species change and mind wipe leaving few survivors or people who even remember
83 Weather or climate changes and local life develops adaptions and colour changes and doesn't remember anything different and species transform slowly
84 A series of earthquakes and sinkholes swallow up whole settlements and reveal long-buried bunkers and subterranean cave creatures who come up to explore the new world
85 Thousands of insects crawl everywhere and torrential rain and water make everything darker and wetter. Then small settlements and loners vanish as insects devour any larger creatures  
86 Vegetation grows overnight and new species appear and humidity, oxygen and carbon increase in air to a hothouse. This supports larger invertebrates and flying creatures and many plants become mobile and carnivorous. Some demon straight alien intellect. Soon vegepeople are rounding up humans in thorn cages with their cacti-dogs as cattle

87 Water levels rise and aquatic life becomes hostile. More and more species take to land and various sea-creature-abhuman-hybrids roam about raiding the land. Eventually, a marine species army comes to destroy and conquer the surface world possibly taking some slaves and terraforming everything for marine creatures
88 Vast clouds of flying locust-like insectoids descend in clouds first eat organics. Then they will grind up concrete, steel and plastic and carry it away to a vast recycling complex
89 A new plant grows into a massive hedge maze swallowing up the entire surface with huge spiked growths that can scratch durrasteel  
90 Vast herd of incredibly dangerous herbivore giant dinosaurs with biological artillery and heave armour rampage over any structures or terrain that isn't flat, from their poop 3m tall razor grass grows 
91 A marine habitat at the bottom of a body of water arises and attacks and uses plague and hallucinogenic gas warheads that drive populations to mass death and destruction before moving in to mop up in person. Possibly they are marine adapted or even replaced humans long ago and expand natural water and put in canals
92 Advanced bunker underground with war mechs arise and destroy any creatures or civilisations so they can build their fantasy of a pre-apocalyptic farming comune 
93 An underground lab generates magnetic fields and an evil AI generates a cyclone of metallic fragments that shreds vast areas of the surface in a giant storm of destruction
94 An underground research bunker has its secret project activated hurling all the contents of the hex into space with an antigravity array under the crust. AI gods will intervene by destroying the array and stopping the Earth's loss of atmosphere and then set about building something new
95 An underground civilisation or an ancient bunker detonates a nuclear device or power plant destroying most of the surface with radiation. The AI gods swiftly intervene to clean up and renew
96 An AI has fused itself into the hivemind of cyborg ants it uses to destroy and rebuild everything into a new order serving the AI-ants needs
97 From an underground facility a vast magnetic bubble of atomic plasma scours the area methodically and then the controlling AI disassembles the complex and itself for new terraforming to begin
98 Androids seek a homeland and detonate neutron and plague warheads so that can move in and transform to their needs with no annoying life forms  

99 Sky changes to natural earth conditions (like now more stuff in space).Various systems shut down and some ancient bunker dwellers come out to take over having tampered with the technological power of the gods. As the artificial environment collapses and locals and animals warned by the gods all leave. As survivors struggle and wonder what is happening globs of nanite slime rain down to transform all local matter into a new world
100 Klaxons sound and all inhabitants crawl into bunkers and burrows in a peaceful trance. Several hidden bunkers come out confused by what is happening and all come up to have a look. Then there is light from above as a blob of solar plasma scours the planet's surface and the border hex forcefields protect the adjacent hexes. A number of AI gods appear al holograms to discuss the fate of this area and the sleeping creatures in the vaults below  

d100 Things in a Common Faerie House

Have been reading more than writing and not very daydreamy a while. But then this.

I have done posts on faerie stuff and a whole book and their are blogposts on villages of wee folk generators I've used before. My inhabitants of the cosmic tree stuff would all work with this and my upcoming faerie tale knight project Auldwood.

So in those tree and mushroom houses and tiny cottages of gnomes and pixies and sprites and small elves and goblins this is what they have about. Some is magical most is weird and some possibly useful.

d100 Faerie Stuff Types
01 Lost human stuff - possibly stolen or a sacrifice
02 Faerie food - possibly dangerous
03 Pixie supplies - arrow venom and magic dust
04 Faerie drinks - strange and magic
05 Tiny tools - for tiny tasks 
06 Furniture of the fey - look out!  

07 Creature Comforts - nice things
08 Gardening supply - for magic gardening experiences
09 Relics - of demihuman religion
10 Library - something to read

d100 Things in a Common Faerie House
01 Bag of washed socks and stockings
02 Pair of shears or a razor to remove unwanted hair
03 Bag of unspun fleece from a sheep
04 Bucket of milk left as offering to wee folk
05 Basket of bread, fruit, vegetables and woven corn dollies
06 Warm delicious pie 
07 A tin of cakes or biscuits
08 Paperbag or tin of boiled lollies like humbugs or bullseye or more exotic
09 An ancient carved idol of a wee folk from long ago from stone or antler
10 Basket with a sleeping human baby, magic sleep so doesn't age or need food or drink
11 Basket of faerie food, unbearably delicious and addictive fruits 5d4 pieces, used to enthral mortal slaves and lure into a life of servitude by naughty fairie folk. All faerie eat it fine
12 Magical boiled lollies 2d4 that grow bigger as you suck them and then explode with delight
13 Faerie bread, keeps for a month and each of the 2d6 pieces feeds a person for a day
14 Pot of spicy stew with strange flavours that change each bite serves d4+2
15 Magical honey cakes 2d4 that make you able to speak to bees for ten minutes, or lets a hive speak human together, makes a human voice buzz for a d6 hours
16 Magic mushrooms 2d4 if eaten have a delightful buzz for a d4 hours -1 all rolls, if you eat a d4 more go into a 4d6 hour trance and comune with mushroom spirits in the dreamlands
17 Magical toadstools d6 tastes nasty but poison a meal if eaten handy for unwanted greedy guests
18 Tin with a delicious gingerbread cake with so much spice your hair stands on end and can't sleep for d4+4 hours even with a sleep spell or potion. Serves d4+6 slices
19 Sweet gelatinous chocolate pudding that has taken years to grow this big from a spoon long ago, quivers and slowly tries to escape if opened
20 Big bag of nuts and seeds and a tiny nut cracking hammer often used to feed animal friends
21 Packet of invisibility dust lats ten minutes like the spell
22 Packet of flying dust lasts ten minutes like the spell sprinkle on self or a broom or cauldron so you can ride with small friends and pets better
23 Packet of illusion dust makes an visual image lasts ten minutes like the spel
24 Pixie darts d4 sleep poison lasts for hour or more unless shaken or doused in water
25 Pixie dart d4 confusion poison lasts ten minutes like the spell 
26 Pixie dart d4 causes dancing to last ten minutes -4 to fight unless you make a dancing skill roll and look really awesome doing it (faeries like to duel fools with this)
27 Pixie dart d4 causes target to become berserk in d4 rounds if fails to resist poison possibly attacking comrades
28 Lamp with fireflies inside who require vegetables and water daily or die off
29 Luminous dried fish an emergency light source
30 Tiny bow and green cap with a feather and quiver of 3d4 tiny arrows d4
31 Tiny gardening tools with bucket, wheelbarrow, spade, rake and watering can
32 Set of baking dishes and pots and pans of the finest copper and tin. Comes with tiny apron 
33 Cobblers chest with tiny sho repair and making tools and a pair of almost finished shoes. Comes with tiny apron  
34 Tiny silver sewing kit worth 100gp with silver thread
35 Small carpentry set with wood and copper tools, hand drill, chisels, saw, wood mallet and a tape measure. Comes with a tiny apron 
36 Foot powered pottery wheel, clay, some buckets and some jars of glaze and a tiny kiln
37 Spining wheel and loom, with spindles of thread and spun wool, and bags of unspun wool and plant fibres and plant dyes
38 Leather working tool set in a chest with all kinds of blades and dies and templates, as well as bucket of tannin, bucket of salt and some dyes. Comes with tiny apron 
39 Animal harness, collars, saddlebags and possibly a small wagon with a pet creature d6 1=tiny donkey 2=dog 3=goblin 4=lizard 5=toad 6=small riding bird or bat
40 Tiny pairs of glasses and scribe set with quill, parchment, beeswax and a seal worth d4x10gp
41 Footstool that comes on command and follows directions, can be used as a step ladder
42 Comfortable chair that is always warm and cozy and fits your form
43 Pillow that keeps away bad dreams and stops beings spying on your dreams
44 Bookshelf with a concealed compartment with spellbook or scrolls inside
45 Magical dinner plate once a week makes a roast with vegetables to serve 8
46 Magical lamp comes on or off with a command or clap
47 Pedestal that cannot be moved without a command word nor can the object on top, In stasis and neither, can be harmed in this state
48 Invisible bin for scraps and unsightly messes
49 Magical washbowl fills with warm lemon scented water 3 times a day with 4L 
50 A little potty that slowly makes the waste of one small creature vanish into the sewers of hell helping you keep a clean house. One way so imps and larvae or lemures don't use it to escape hell. Just don't break safety wards. Usually under a bed or chair with a lift up seat
51 Small hairy stove troll lives under or behind stove dislikes dancing and clogs indoors
5 Flower spirit visits and will be mischievous to home intruders 
53 A tiny owl in a hole glares at everything with low light vision to report to resident
54 Goblin lives under wash trough and licks plates clean and takes out rubbish and chamberpots to a nearby organic mushroom garden, often under a tree
55 Toad lives under the doorstep and guards house from bugs and croaks if intruders enter, or sometimes live in resident treasure chest or desk draw as an alarm working for worms
56 Cricket chirps while anyone in house without owner annoyingly. On command chirp several popular cricket tunes. Somewhere safe is a tiny cricket band sometimes with an audience and all wary of visiting toads
57 A house brownie lives in the house like a tiny flatmate sleeping under the owners sofa or bed or in the attic or cellar. Will protect house from intruders
58 A sprite seasonally stays here and pops over for visits and will turn invisible if sus[vicious or wrong doings to their friend
59 A faerie animal pet d4 1=large intelligent cat 2=elf hunting hound 3=albino hairless goblin hound 4=raven or other bird
60 Basket of goblin babies who if disturbed cry and scream for food and may if not fed shortly will swarm and bite for a d3 damage to all in the area
61 Thinking Cap +1 on any scholarly efforts reading books or writing
62 Magical spectacles that see d4, 1=invisible faerie creatures 2=lycanthropes 3=ethereal plane 4=invisible imps and devils and demons 5=hell 6=primordial horrors of the void 
63 Velvet Dressing Gown - always warm and never comes undone without wearers command, self-repairs if damaged by non-magic or magical fire overnight
64 Pipe with a face carved in end, self ignites on command and blows really cool smoke rings, also with unicorn hornpiker to clean, some dirty cloth, a crystal ashtray and 1d4 strains of faerie herbal smoking weed with 2d6 doses of each, all kept in a box
65 Box with residents' favourite drinking vessel d4 1=crystal goblet that won't break 2=pewter stein from famous lost human hero hundreds of years ago 3=huge carved wooden stien that hold 10x more than it looks (id love just one mug of drink friend) 4=Clay stein with ceramic articulated breasts or penises as part of an erotic scene possibly of the gods or royal faeries
66 Jade pipe with d6 doses of dread black lotus resin an addictive alternative to spell components or for eldritch visions of alien wizards consuming the drug in primordial times or other worlds
67 Gold snuffbox with magical powder gives +1HP and +3 Morale and +1 Mov for a d4 ten minute turns. More than one dose results in addiction  and eventually mutations
68 Slippers of stealth allow you to move silently at walking speed as long as beet both shuffle on ground and are not lifted which is awkward sometimes but fine on a nice floor
69 Magic broom once a day sweeps house
70 Magical dinner set for one that cleans itself after 3 meals a day and has elaborate paintings of floral and fungal scenes and faeries d4 1=royal coronation 2=centenary royal portrait 3=erotic sylvan orgy scene 4=scene of great elf ancestor or god doing a mythic scene
71 Magic acorns 2d4 grow to a 20+3d6m tree in a month
72 Miniture potted plant actually a plant changeling and can change to a plant humanoid
73 Box with a door and a 3 foot tall miniature mole man with garden tools, an apron, boots and spectacles who lives here when not tending to local gardens and potplants
74 Box of magic seeds 3d6 will grow bush of edible berries, d4 different types
75 Beehive often in a draw or cupboard with honey dripping into a pot and friendly busy bees who will not like strangers near honey
76 Scarecrow golem has been alive for a few years and now quite eccentric. It comes in side to try on clothes and use house while owner away and hides around the house and may pretend to be inanimate. It cant talk but understands common and faerie speech and fears fire
77 Box with a variety of magic mushrooms d4 1=heals 1hp 2=heals 2d4 poison damage 3=see ethereal beings for a d4 hours 4=teleport randomly d10 miles away in a d4 rounds after eating
78 Gnome house door where a gnome gardener lives gloomily in his cottage hole and he comes out to work on local landscaping and helps small animals 
79 Potted faerie flower has a face and likes to dance and hum and loves everyone kind and likes to kiss and have a puff on a pipe occasionally
80 Dried narcotic herbs 4d6 doses and a d4 varieties dried in a tin possibly also good for proper medecine
81 Tiny prehistoric ancestral idol of a clan handed down for thousands of years
82 Painting by a fairly good faerie artist d4 1=opens into a secret mirror image room 2=can summon an illusionary lover from the painting with a d12 characters and a d4=sylvan creatures 3=painting of feast once a day can create a huge meal 4=sad ghost lives inside painting in a palace and comes out to speak to faerie friends
83 Mirror opens into a tiny world d4 1=prison maze with a demon inside (ignore the voices) 2=portal to a witch house 3=portal to the goblin market 4=a pleasure palace with illusions where time stands still and everyone looks fantastic 
84 Golden acorn with a seed totem inside to one day grow a new clan sacred tree when the time is right and must never fall into the hands on outsiders
85 Golden apple if eaten prevents aging for a d4 years and save vs addiction and a craving to get more at any cost if mortal. Elves give these to kings sometimes 
86 Silver spindle of magical silver thread as strong as rope and cant be cut by a non magical edge 20+d20 yards long with a tiny gold scissors 
87 A silver +1 weapon from an ancient war used by clan that glows if a clan specified enemy is in 9 range and +3 to hit and damage that foe d4 1=orcs 2=dwarfs 3=giants 4=humans. Blood of that foe reveals the blades name in elf writing (its a bit dark for modern tastes)
88 A d4 magical arrows made by a favorite long lost relative. Each has a one use spell like power d6 1=light 2=charm person 3=stinking cloud 4=fireball 5=web 6=fear 
89 Wand from youth d100 charges d4 1=decorates creature or cottage with flowers 2=makes a bottle of wine appear 3=makes a cake appear 4=summons a friendly pixie who will be unimpressed if a non friend has this wand - if it gets the wand spends all charges and starts a colony
90 Portrait of elf nobility that is used as a sort of altar where they gaze at the beauty in worship d4 1=elfking 2=elfqueen 3=king & queen 4=elf deity. Worth quite a bit to a human but such relics must be recovered from grubby human hands
91 Spellbook laying about covered in dust
92 Book about the various faerie courts of the seasons and otherworlds
93 Guide to ancient trees used for travel across the world, quite dated
94 Various locations of faerie rings and portals in the mortal world
95 Journal of an adventurer ancestor and various mythic deeds and struggles
96 Book describing local spirits and faeries and other beings who have lived in the area for the last thousand years with various footnotes by various writers over generations. Lots of gossipy bits and legal disputes and various punishments for local villains or wandering bandits
97 Guide to traversing the cosmic tree to other dimensions and the inhabitants in its trunk, under its roots and in its boughs
98 Ancient erotic love poetry about the elven gods and faerie court
99 Directory of all the trees by personal name in the region and some of the more important shrubs
100 Magic latched book contains a portal d4 1=trapped hybrid magic monster jumps out 2=mirrorvers opposite alignment self attacks to replace who opens the book 3=naughty faeiry trapped inside for punishment 4=a small literary world inside based on a elven manour with various guests, unfortunately it often runs as a murder mystery

Spell Revisions & Homebrew 2022

 

Currently rewriting my Druid spells and while checking for consistency every list ends up amending older ones. Lucky one of my two 30 year vets of gaming with me has been helping me do the checking part. Have more creepy biological spell descriptions and strangeness. I even got a spell for making zombies finally so those evil druids can get up to more cool stuff.

Sadly realise my homebrew and blog are like 10 years old and I'm still working on projects I started then. I feel like I've made lots of the stuff I need and am a few years ahead of my players content-wise. My current spell rewrite for druids is more than halfway so I can make a book like my psionics one for this shortly. At this point Im thinking of doing a new a4 edition of my core book as it needs to be rebuilt. Later I will go back and use the digest format for for freebie versions which will double as player reference.

A Magic Book - Advanced EMO optional magic system
So when spellbook of 4 lists done the next project will be a Magic book which instead mashes all 4 into one a-z collection and new ones added so subclasses can have their own unique spell lists. Sadly making the universal list would also be a good way to check my current lists for mistakes in consistent wording. So same spell on each list is the same. I've also on re-reading finding spells in the same list and same level that duplicate effects too closely which means I can get rid of one. Ive made more spells reversible which makes descriptions longer. Clerics get the most reversible ones but I have a magic skill that lets you reverse spells on the fly when casting which has been fun. Currently, I let lots of my non-core spellcasters choose any of the four lists which instantly makes various elves and bard subtypes. Its been fun and easy but a possibility of my separate magic book approach is every priest cult would have own list, every wizard school, every elf subtype, every bard school. Possibly you could build these lists in play but it sounds like something that might take a few more years as an advanced magic system.

I will go back to finishing my digest format book once this done 

Possibly my character sheet also get an update and an extra sheet with room for pets and followers and property. Decided I need a size box on the sheet also. A monster book and book on expanding character options with lots of example subclass builds.

This is my dream line of books which most have some progress on between 50 to 90%

More Sacred Temple of Erwadu Playthrough

So we did some carousing rolls for followers outside the dungeon and some battled an old lion and helped meddle in a family struggle and a few gained levels.

Party inside dungeon managed to finish the main ground level, went through the caves below, dodged a dragon turtle, and recovered all the rune stones needed to advance. Finally got ready to the upper level and last few rooms. Went crazy with a potion od clairvoyance and peeked into areas they had avoided. Possibly they could have skipped the giant dragon turtle cave but they decided it safer to do the adventure properly to get the best success. I've allowed them to avoid several encounters with cunning like a player in the form of a tiny dragon avoided touching stuff and got a runestone and left an offering in its place avoiding a Gorgon that could have killed them and a curse. The thief has proven invaluable and players glad brought several clerics. A few scenes of vapourising undead went from fear to cheers in a few rounds. Party have come to hate fear powers of mummies.

Lots of tight battles and creatures to chat with. Was a good room where a bone devil split the party with ice walls and caused lots of trouble. He released 30+ 1hd scorpions that were scary and annoying and climbed onto the fighters trapped by ice. The draconic shape shifter blasted them with fire after punching through an ice wall and a cleric and some spells stopped the devil. Most of the party had only a few spells and half HP. A few potions and healing spells left.

Met three witches and two adventurers brave enough to roll on a weird blessing/curse table and got a level up. People did burn through my homebrew luck points too. Spells not being recoverable has been a challenge and all casters are wary. Burning those scrolls and wands instead which is why you hoard them.

Finally had a bunch of lions and 3rd lv warriors that were difficult and watched by a judge Shedu. after the fight he rewarded them with healing and a feast before going to the upper level.

The room set-ups and monster tactics are above average and concise and easy to read and prep for and run on the fly. Probably one of my fave 80s style adventures yet. I mentioned the other one by same company about a silver planar tower and players were keen.

Followers for an 8th Lv Cleric of Girra

So some prep for sunday game. While Players are imprisoned inside a magic ziguratt their followers have been outside possibly carousing. So making some rolls for them. Our new priest of Girra the god of fire and purity has a small temple he is responsible for in the kingdom of the Sun God. So we didn't do his followers last game but now we need some on hand. Ive been letting people adopt other classes as followers quite often if they meet such people in play or recruit after some public deed. Carousing is a good way to meet followers. Part of the plan is a skeleton staff run the small temple allowing the adventurer time to adventure.

So start getting followers at 5th Lv and every level after 1d4 zero lv or one 1st Lv follower

Also can have your charm bonus +1 in followers selected in play as long as 0Lv or 2HD less than your level. Can be horse, dog, lover, sibling, adopted child, servant whatever and recruited with a roll and some smooth roleplaying

1st Lv Has two slots from attributes and are most flexible type of follower
-Reformed thief zero acts as a scout and servant
-Dumber younger adopted bastard brother Zero Level man-at-arms
5th Lv 2 Zero level students wanting to be priests
6th Lv 1st Lv warrior bodyguard
7th Lv 1st Lv priest
8th Lv 1st Lv priest

So with Lv creep:
1x 6th Lv Thief - Arad Nusku
a scout for wickedness in the night or on streets HP 30
has a +1 dagger, elven boots and 3 scrolls of cure light wounds
1x 6th Lv Priest- Lubad
a life-long friend younger adopted bastard brother HP 30
+1 Mace +1 Sheild scroll or cure poison and cure disease
1x 3rd Lv priests - Lu Dugga
an admin scribe and scholar, temple secretary HP 15
has a magic lamp and +1 staff and a cure light wounds scroll
1x 3rd Lv priests - Er Gibil 

a red smith and temple armoured HP 18
bronze plate and a +1 hammer
1x 3rd Lv warrior - Bakish
a bodyguard and konga chariot driver HP24
+1 shortsword, composite bow
1x 2nd Lv priestess - Arzi
lamp, mace, staff, 2 incendiary pots with fuses
 the fire altar keeper HP 10
1x 1st Lv priestess - Zuweni
 the temple household overseer and cook HP 5
rolling pin, knife, cleaver, bronze frying pan

So Arad the thief and Bakish the charioteer are the regular followers who go adventuring while the rest of the crew stay at home now and adventure less often. Lubad runs the temple currently but likes to slip away if possible from duty to follow his master. So the temple has a stable of Konga, a brewery, kitchen, a fire altar, a smithy, some cattle, goats and swine. Also, keep a wonderous ox that is not allowed to work but secures stud fees for temple who is quite tame.

I'm considering at 10th Lv of offering weirder followers like non-humans and cult-preferred Abhumans. One character has a minotaur follower basically. So perhaps weirder heroes and creatures and demihumans or beast or elemental folk. I guess the attribute-derived followers you can grab on day one in play will always be your best and possible replacement character. I'd like this to be a feature more. I'm happy for adventurers to have time skips to find followers running the show and your ex-fave follower runs everything. Followers from class levels tend to be one-off so if they die that's it. Players in my games often raise their dead followers and ex-wives if possible. The stat-derived followers can leave you or be replaced again and again but you'll get a bad wrap like Hercules.

Followers in my games tend to die lots for their player character friends. Most players are quite keen to do this. Cept that one time player debated raising his ex-dead wife now that he could afford to raise dead spells. He worried if the fact she was an orc and he was remarried to three kobolds and the higher level was a problem but they worked it out. He was always willing to marry humanoids to bring peace. Certainly, players became vindictive to who killed their minions. In my SF game characters have all followers brain scanned with clone back ups. In fact they could grow an army of them.

Followers at low levels can really help the whole party survive that first resource-based horror crawl. At higher levels that can make things too easy. And then you get those wimpy low level followers that seem to frail to come along in case you get fireballed. Letting them run the player character's estate, business or other matters is a good way to tie them up. You can leave excess followers to settle a village or work on a lab or go on adventures for you. They could glean those dungeons you cant be bothered with finishing and perhaps adventure in a secret level you missed.

Charisma is the most popular stat in my games and Strength is the main dump stat.

Pulp Dungeons Series2 Vol1-4 + Monsters of the Multiverse

So some more of these old zines
Link to Series 1 Vol5-8

These follow the same basic formatting which is an advantage. They are all supposed to be one interlinked dungeon, but they would mostly be fine as short dungeons. Lots of the dungeons seem like mad wizards had some influence in each to some degree. Maybe I need a d100 things mad wizards did to the dungeon. A few interesting mechanical and magical things I wonder why not in D&D. 

Series 2 vol 1: The Element of Terror
So this is a sequel to the "The Forsaken Elves" series one vol1. These are the witches who messed the elves up and made them crazy in some incurable way. A good mixed of built and cavern complex and a nice dungeon. Lots of witches, cats, crows and some demon stuff. Has a gage of curses. Eventually, adventurers are in a trap and getting out is a risk. Probably one of the better ones.

Series 2 vol 2: Ogre Smatch
Small dungeon with mad wizard design features the ogres live in. Some weird temples and strange sages who help you get out and you might horribly kill them. The Intro staircase has kobold paste everywhere a nice touch. Some good prisoners too. Starts straightforward and gets weird. The boss has a pet undead rhino which is an awesome horror.

Series 2 vol 3: A caves of the Accursed Wings
So a wilderness adventure on a magic mountain that comes and goes made by a mad wizard who hates birds and flying kind and made this place to torment them. You get to free some cosmic imprisoned rock and other creatures and get to learn what a jerk the wizard is. Its pretty weird and with a bit of work might fit in my current game because of the mythic scale of the weird wizard. 

Series 2 vol 4: Dragon's Fountain
A magic dragon made this place to outdo wizards for fun. A weird-designed dungeon that is really a trap with lots of super dangerous monsters. Like mechanical dragons and the mechanical beast the dragon spars for fun. Spectacular interesting themed treasures too. A nice sewer fiend monster. This would make me scared of dragon lairs for a while and quite interesting and weird. A mad dragon's dungeon.

I have 4 more to read then some comics.
I did a review of an Avengers comp elsewhere I'm tempted to put here - its as weird as a RPG campagn.

Dwarrow Deep Review

I followed the writer on FB for a few days and regretted it promptly and I understand some ppl might not touch him or his work. I got the first two second-hand and others as KS. I definitely got PDF stuff to go with it and glad I did as it has lotsa chop-up-able geomorphs and maps. I have the OSR version. 

So this is the fourth Volume in a series starting with Barrowmaze, The Forbidden Caverns of Archaia then Highfell and now Dwarrow Deep. The first is lots uf tombs and undead. The second is lots of ruins and dungeons. The third has lots of wizard towers on a floating landmass. Now this new one that is a big love letter to the Mines of Moria and is aiming to be the biggest dwarf megadungeon. It probably is but if you can get a look at the MERP supplement of Moria it is pretty awesome and has good cartography. 

Firstly all these are in the same world. They are connected by geography and gateways. They overlap in gods popular in the local area lots. Each book has a substantial monster section illustrated. The art is by many excellent artists who deserve to be seen more. I'm Truman (Hellboy and early TSR) and Darlene (mapper of greyhawk). This volume, in particular, has a frieze on the bottom of each page featuring the same adventurers vs various hazards described and it is a great example of this (new dungeoneers book did this but this is way better). It has an illustration section like some of the better TSR modules with an art section to illustrate specific scenes. 

Each book includes a local village and preferred gods and a wilderness area. These shared formating and set ups are one great thing about the books. You can also pull out bits of them whenever you need a dungeon, a ruined wizard tower or a barrow. This one will be useful to do underground dwarf highways and cities for years to come. It is the fattest of all four and has very substantial map sections and geomorphs (I could add to some of the Dragonlance ones). Some maps have thin walls a pet dislike of mine but they feel old-school with various types of dungeons like mines, caves, funhouse and underground city. There is a great mix of old-school characters you might expect from the D1-3 series. So its full of classic tropes and old-school hat tips and familiar gods and gags. Its probably not my favourite of the series. Id order 2 1 3 4 as my order of how much I like them. If you love dwarves lots this will excite you more as it has lots of lore and magic and is a rare book to use the abilities of dwarves to detect certain stuff. I think it is while awesome less imaginative than say volumes 2 and 3.

It has lots of good systems to generate encounters and tunnels and giant dwarven mega dungeon corridors. As it has dwarves and clerics featured a wizard will not do as well as other volumes for cool stuff. Yes its a classic and if you have other volumes and love dwarves get it. If your are new to them Id say Barrowmaze is a bit of a slog and undead can be boring after a while. Achaia has lots of classic humanoid tribes and cults and dungeons you can put anywhere. Highfell has lots of weird magic stuff. The consistent format is one of the good things about the series but I still want to see what comes next and hope to see something more fabulous to top the past achievements. To be fair its a big fat book of dwarfy ruins easy to run bits of it on the fly or a campaign. There is a monster manual draft part of the KS we might see more of.

Pulp Dungeons Series1 Vol1-4 + Pod CM9

Pulp Dungeons
So I had seen and heard of these and a friend was selling 12 issues for 50 so I went yes. Glad I didn't get from previous buyer as the size and everything were clearer here. Origionaly from Canada 1996 with various writers. Each series is supposed to be combined as a dungeon but I probably separate but they do have links and clues to other volumes. They are not quite D&D system and has simple mechanics which re easy to ignore. Im happy to use dnd versions but some monster descriptions are interesting. Ech is a 16 B&W pages with colour cover - inside cover is B&W with the map in front and ad in the back. The blurbs are part of the setup. The formatting varies a bit and sometimes when have a monster page it refers to repeats some info. I appreciate monster tactics come up and some different lore. They have some interesting traps and setups and procedures and I found easy to replace on the fly. All feature a simple dungeon often with lots of empty rooms and an encounter table. Some weird magic encounters too - some more funhouse than others. Its a good zine format mostly. They would be good intro adventures and pretty short. I found inspirational ideas in them.

Series 1: Just Above the Pit

The Forsaken Elves
This features some force has made some elves evil but not their children. Paranoid and evil they shun light and are adapting to underground life. They are quite nasty and its good to kill some different evil elves.

An Infestation of Kobalds
A giants palace inhabited by kobalds like rats with traps and puzzles and some magic oddments. I especially liked these kobolds had a huge prison for all their own kind and some other touches. Certainly lots of good set ups for ambushes.
.
Dwarf Hold
Dwarves have all gone but lots of remnants and odd magic. Its a bit more linear with a small maze off the side and basically some dwarvern pass for trade shortening a trip by days.

Orc's Lair
More linear but has some good features like giant dogs a druid could recruit. Some classic monsters and some have interesting specific tactics.

Legacy of Blood CM9 💓💓💓💥
This is a style of adventure there should have been more of. You inherit a domain and it is a bit of a shambles requiring you to work on it. Impressing the people and stopping the problems is most of the action and the discovery an evil wizard is sabotaging the domain to take over. There are quite a few war veterans in area so plenty of above 1st lv npcs to recruit and impress plus a rival party serving the wizard. The maps are adequate but have thin walls for stone towers - a bug of mine. The player's area map and wilderness map of the hex in detail are good. It would be quite fun to run and there should have been more adventures like this for high-level adventurers getting a domain. The character who is an heir can assign officers jobs to party members like a head of church and magistrate and I would add more. Has good seeds for future dramas and players could kill the wrong people and lower their domains confidence. I think I will give areas a morale score myself. It does use domain rules in a companion but in play you could use the given info and expand on it. 

I can imagine a module to help a thief take over a city guild, or a wizard to seize a tower owned by a wizard who broke the kingdom charter and has subjects who need help.

d100 Dungeon Guard Gossip

Ive been reviewing my POD collection slowly - would ppl like me to go through Dungeon Magazine - i only like B&W era ending around 60ish? - ive got about 40 issues im reading through and finding some good inspiration. Obviously ppl can send me missing issues. Its not a trap. Honest.

Handy snippets for guards to say before you stab them in the neck from behind. 

d10 Quick Topic Types
01 Monsters
02 Adventurers
03 Villagers
04 Faction
05 Humans
06 Religion
07 Dungeon life
08 Guarding life
09 The Boss
10 Horrible fates

d100 Dungeon Guard Gossip
01  Why can't we have a neo-otyg? They are quite friendly and telepathic watchdogs. They only eat poop and copses, I don't see why we don't have one
02 After that rust monster ate my weapons and did I look foolish when I had guard duty at the orgy
03 I swear I've seen chests and barrels appear and disappear from the store room and Glark was in charge of stock taking and disappeared too
04 Stirges I hate them, especially when they crawl in and out of air vents and you find the closest guards bunk with a withered husk in the morning
05 My grandpa said in the old days the cults of undeath were less common. He says it now we have less hope and are desperate for reinforcements we have turned more and more to underworld evil 
06 If we keep dumping bodies in the same pit we will attract ghouls again
07 Owlbears are so adorable as cubs but they soon they get fiesty and eat you. Just weird bears really
08 If you rub grease all over your body it will protect you from green slime for a few moments
09 I swear there are were rats around here stealing our food
10 There was an imp here to see one of the bosses, they sure creep me out
11 Adventurers killed my whole family while I was out, If I see any there will be trouble
12 Adventurers eat innocent goblin and orc babies. The priests told me so
13 The humans trick adventurers to come here because it is cheaper than hiring mercenaries and if the live its extra taxes
14 A local thieves guild have been spreading rumours to adventurers, its all a big dumb trap and they get a cut of the loot
15 When we go have an adventure in a village people get outraged but they can come here and rob us. What a double standard
16 We found my uncle dead and adventurers had disembowelled him searching his innards for treasure. Maybe swallowing treasure is pointless if humans just kill you anyway
17 Ive seen adventurers and Im not impressed. If all humans are that murderous and cheating and lying how do they even survive?
18 The humans in armies and guards are pretty weak but the adventurers are the most malcontent, depraved and vicious ones the army don't want and villagers keep out
19 Adventurers are the worst humans and they are produced by inbreeding and baby eating. Their parents drink strong booze and rub lead on their gums
20 Adventurers are the most fanatic humans and sont even obey human laws. All they carea bout is gold and murder and looking awesome
21 The local villagers have so much valuable stuff just laying about and they don't even have a wall!
22 Villagers are like kobolds but weaker and more cowardly
23 The village is on our ancestors land and our weeping forebears cry from the grave for vengance
24 Villagers with their little fences and terrible fresh food and stupid faces I hate them all
25 Villagers will swallow their treasure if caught so best disembowel them or give them some rotten meat to they shit it out
26 Villagers  make poor slaves and only last a few months it is more merciful to just kill and eat them
27 So the priest says if we accept darkness into our hearts we can turn the villagers into our zombie slaves and never work again
28 I was kept by villagers and they made me grind grain and pull a plow and stomp compost and fed me on gruel. Pretty much a holiday really compared to out boss
29 I like to spu on villagers, their naivete is so adorable. They wander around aimlessly toiling and breeding and doing pointless stuff. I will miss them
30 Those villagers have fouled the creeks and hunted out all the game, they breed out of control and need regular culling 
31 So those bandits seem ok for humans I I cant see why humans would outlaw such fine fighters
32 Berserkers come in the dungeon and we just avoid them. The have their uses and risks and scare humans even more. If there is trouble run, use ranged weapons or play dead
33 I don't get why the boss says we need a wizard they cause more trouble than they solve and they don't teach us how to do it or nuffin
34 Those new priests seem to be popular but im starting to worry they are leading us to more war and mass murder
35 I dont think we should let wereolves live in the dungeon, most have no self control and I wonder if the guys in the next room vanishing is their fault
36 Gnolls are dreadful to keep around but they do eat any bones or leftovers and are cheap to feed. I hate their laughter and smell most
37 Kobolds seem harmless minions but they breed so fast and live so long they can take over a dungeon in the long run so best to eat them
38 There is something skulking around here in hooded robes, i swear it had tentacles for a face. Probably just some shameful mutant and nothing to worry about
39 Ogres should eat better. Their farts stink oiut the whol leven and the keep breaking the latrine seats. The use up all the funny old wizard books we use for cleaning up too 
40 Im glad we paid off that dragon with some human prisoners, we dont want a dragon coming here again. He was pertty unhappy about paying him in copper so hopefully he thinks we are too poor to bother with
41 Humans cant help be murderers and are born killers, if you spare their children they will grow into paladins and kill everyone you love
42 I hears hobgoblins have been working for money from human farmers. Only problem is hobgoblins think every obcenity you mutter is a personal attack sending them into a rage
43 Humans might look like us sorta they have strange genitalia and you will die if you touch them
44 Humans only have a few children so no wonder they get upset when you steal a few abies
45 I dont know why the boss lets bandits come here they will betray our secrets eventually when their human kin imprison and torture them
46 Humans smell of soap, you can smell it a mile off, nasty stuff
47 Imagine being a human and blind in the dark. One day we will snuff out the sun and they will be our slaves
48 My family had a human slave and he was ok. Eventually our priests ritually scarified them and made them one of us. Wasnt truly a family member but it shows humans dont all need to die, some of them are the good sort
49 Humans are so fussy about food! They like it cooked and fresh the weirdos. No wonder they are always theiving and farming 
50 We peeled a humans skin off and you know they dont look that different to normal proper people
51 Human gods think they rule the universe and their foolish follwers believe their gods made the world what ajoke. Dont they know how new they are?
52 Human priests dont like undead very much mostly. They dont realise how important it is to have your ancestors around for your children to see and it is the best punishment for your enemies to be your slaves to pay for their crimes
53 Some say our old gods are the best and lots say demons and devils give better deals I dunno what cult to join
54 Sometimes I wonder are we cursed by the gods? I always worry some new menace will sweep through here and finish us off
55 When did our gods ever help us honestly? I mean look at this dump
56 My family was an orthadox church of Orcus and my wifes family worshipped the mushroom goddess reformist church and you should have seen the wedding
57 Bah who wants a religion of peace and love? In hell i will work up the ranks killing and torturing more for eternity, how could anyone not like that
58 Keep a look out for an imp offering wishes for your soul. I heard thats how the boss got in charge the lucky dog
59 So this human cleric tried to say we shoud show restraint and be soft and weak. Bah! Our god is so much mightier an that cleric tasted good so we ate the rest of him
60 Im unsure about which demon patron to choose, they all promise me unrestrained lust and greed and murder, how do i pick one? Just on looks or convenaince?
61 Did you hear about the sly grog shop someone is running in the dungeon, iull show you after our shift
62 We need a new slave to clean out the latrines since the old one died from worms
63 So overnight a coridoor was overgrown with yellow mould and we were trapped in the barracks for days before the boss sent someone to look for us
64 Rust monster got loose again and we caught him eating the hinges off the armoury doot, gave me a nasty swipe with his thagomiser tail
65 Lice everywhere why cant the priiests cure that instead of making more stinking zombies 
66 You really stink brother, you should wash your hair and brush your teeth in fermented piss for good health and have your yearly dust bath
67 The air down here is really damp and stinks of mildew mildew, we need air vents or more deaths will reduce our numbers. The boss was born on the surface world and is an idiot
68 What wizard planned this dungeon? A brain damaged madman I assume
69 I reakon some of these internal walls are way too thin. One good quake and we are all dead
70 Party on tonight in the barracks but keep it quiet so you know who doesnt come and ruin it
71 Whats with this new roster, we need more time to sleep and torment prisoners or im out of here
72 Dis you hear about that theif caught yesterday? Tried to sneak up and backstab me. There is some of him in the kitchen and the rest went to monsters
73 I was told if we were hurt we got a priest to heal us but I got charged to have my rotten tooth pulles out and they said that stab wound I got in that barracks brawl was self inflicted. If Id know there were so many exemptions we would be out of here
74 My grand dad had his own dungeon but I dont think I will ever have enough money or children to be boss
75 These weapons are rubbish. Some of the recruits still using flint
76 These iron swords bend too easily and break, at least with bronze you can straighten it with your teeth
77 I hear human guards get a propper wage and benefits, we oughta stop work and wreck the joint 
78 Watch out for intruders I can smell soap 
79 Well im taking my wages and returning to my sweetheart to raise a family on a farm, this is my last shift 
80 Stop talking like that, your asking for some human will slit your throat
81 I hear the boss has an unfaithful lover, I might have a crack myself
82 The boss gold more than their loyal minions 
83 So this intruder killed like six guards and then the boss gave them a job and accepted a pittance for the lives of the guards. Their orphans and family got nuffin
84 Im not sure if the boss getting a pet imp is such a good idea, I was hoping we would serve chaos and be lawless maniacs without a care in the world
85 The boss is really a dragon I tell you in disguise! He sits in his treasure room and sleeps all day
86 The boss has some lycanthopy I reacon. They have gotten more hairy
87 The boss is a crook, he cries we cant have a wage rise het keeps buying fancy drugs and gold rings
88 The boss loves to eat halflings and children. If you get him some they will reward you greatley
89 The boss is so fat and lazy they have privy counciller to wipe up in latrine and they even have a strange tool kit. If they ate more rotten food and earthworms they would be fine
90 The boss had to kill their own parent for being a mad tyrany but they are well on the way to having the same ending. I hope Im not around then
91 Did you hear those last adventurers squeal like pigs in the torture chamber? No guts at all, started all betraying each other in only a few hours
92 I love it when dead adventurers are made into zombies so we can kill them again and again
93 The cook is really bad, everyone has had the shits and the whole dungeon smells like sloppy turds. The latrines are a mess
94 Ive had funny dreams of late about adventurers invading and killing us all. I might flee home soon before its too late
95 The priest said to be on the look out and a divination said we might be attacked today
96 That cave in a few months ago was bad but the fix was done poorly and will happen again 
97 Ive heard some ghosts I swear. I hate ghosts
98 So we got some rotgrubs in a funnel down his throat and then dumped the body near the village for a laugh
99 I dont know if they died and then giant rats burrowed in the corpse or if they were alive at the time. I did hear some screaming but you know they are just prisoners
100 I suggested we crucify the prisoners by the road so humans think twice about sending missionaries here again