Monday 23 January 2017

d100 Monsters Last Words

Monsters have feelings too and it is totally legit to make your players feel bad for murdering monsters or doubt it or revel in it. Here are some awkward words and thoughts and deeds for monsters receiving a knock out blow. At very least your players should get chance for snappy comebacks or moralizing over chatty victims.

01 Monster sheds a single huge tear as he falls silently staring deeply into your eyes
02 Monster vomits blood everywhere as if possessed covering everybody
03 Monster gasps, stares and asks "why?"
04 Monster clutches wound, weeps and cries: "who will care for my children?"
05 Monster clutches medallion of patron god, "avenge me!"
06 Monster violently releases bowels, looks ashamed and falls
07 Monster looks surprised: "I never wanted this war, I had no choice"
08 Monster falls "I secretly changed my religion to yours, will I go to heaven"
09 Monster weeps tears of blood, looking at wounds then falls
10 Monster falls, bites on sugar glass healing potion in mouth and lies in wait to escape
11 Monster falls to knees screaming until it takes ten more HP damage
12 Monster staggers bleeding shouting obscenities
13 Monster falls "Why would you do this?"
14 Monster gasps "Why did you come here, this is our ancestral land?"
15 Monster falls weeping "Just for our gold! why would you do this?"
16 Monster staggers "So little time, so short, to be struck down by greedy humans"
17 Monster makes horrible choking sounds drowning in his own blood
18 Monster struggles to reach sky "Mother, Father I can see you!"
19 Monster chuckles "Your victory is hollow you will pay for your hubris"
20 Monster sobs "All the deeds I had yet to do undone by human hooligans"
21 Monster staggers and falls "I beg you, just let me have one more drink"
22 Monster roars " I have killed many dozens of adventurer scum, I go to a heroes death!"
23 Monster snickers "I ate a dozen babies, I just wish I had eaten you when you were brats!"
24 Monster gasps "Why cant you keep to your own lands? Why steal ours?"
25 Monster wrings hands "The demons made us do it, we had no choice, no life of our own"
26 Monsters points to groin as dies "I have had dozens of sons to avenge me puny one"
27 Monster gives melancholy sigh "Why are humans so brutal? Why do you murder and rob?"
28 Monster moans softly  "what do you do with our gold? Do you eat it?"
29 Monster laughs "Suckers, you greedy dumb thugs have fallen for our trap"
30 Monster lets loose a huge long fart, snickers and dies
31 Monster coughs up something horrible and spits at killer
32 Monster giggles " I was dying any way fool, now I die a martyr!"
33 Monster falls smiling "Ha ha a thousand succubi await me in the nxt world"
34 Monster mutters sadly "I was human but nobody believed me, I hope the gods recognise me"
35 Monster smiles as falls "Sweet release finally, my agony over and next life awakes"
36 Monster coughs and laughs "I had a lot of human women, perhaps I was your father"
37 Monster grumbles "Humans have no sense of humour" then is dead
38 Monster weeps philosophically "We are brief sparks in eternal night, fleeting pain then nothing"
39 Monster sobs "I'm sorry my love, i have broken my promise to return home!"
40 Monster tearfully "My dreams, a little farm, a wife and child, dashed damn you humans"
41 Monster defiantly "We never wanted this war, why couldn't you stay in your own lands"
42 Monster sniffs despairingly "I lived well, I ate human children and robbed their gold"
43 Monster grunts "killed by a weak and puny human the shame, don't tell my mother"
44 Monster sighs "Mommy, the monsters have got me, they want my gold"
45 Monster sings jolly song about killing humans until 10 HP more damage inflicted
46 Monster hums patriotic marching tune for a few bars then drowns in own blood
47 Monster spits venomously "Cowardly soulless murderers, see you in hell"
48 Monster giggles "I ate my gold fools" but has nothing but deadly parasites
49 Monster laments "All our lands, besieged by human scum, they will kill all the races, beware!"
50 Monster splutters "Who will teach my children, protect them now, why?"
51 Monster mutters softly "So much hate, so much anger, if only I had been born human"
52 Monster cries out "I died defending our clan and way of life, there is no prouder way to die"
53 Monster gasps "Our land, our way of life, gone like dust in the wind"
54 Utters defiantly "We kill brutishly but humans will kill us all in the end like a plague!"
55 Monster gulps out "Who will sing our ancestors songs when humans kill the last of us"
56 Monster shouts with last breath "Your gods are foul deceivers, you have no souls"
57 Monster tearfully decries "We wear our black hearts proudly but humans hide yours like cowards"
58 Monster utters defiantly "You are a million times more evil than we could ever hope to be"
59 Monster fearfully weeps "We were proud and fierce once, now we are broken and lost"
60 Monster murmurs softly " Broken, bloody forgotten heaps once proud and free"
61 Monster howls "The Boss lied, he promised us gold and fame and glory but he lied"
62 Monster wails "Mankind is the great doom, soon all the worlds magic will be gone"
64 Monster bemoans "I was just doing my duty, I never wanted this life, I'm sorry"
65 Monster sobs "All my children murdered and now me, life is so unfair"
66 Monster moans "All I wanted was some gold of my own, and now this"
67 Monster grieves aloud "I was born for more than this, killed like some nobody in a story"
68 Monster groans "We struggle and toil but for what? to be murdered in some hole for sport?"
69 Monster bemoans "When we rob and murder you call us evil, but when you do it you are heroes?"
70 Monster mourns "I did everything I was told by my parents, my lord, my shaman, why?"
71 Monster wails loudly "Our gods have deserted us, our shaman has lied, why us?"
72 Monster grumbles "Why did I get out of bed today, just to be killed, life is so cruel"
73 Monster moans "I saw the omens yet I did my duty and now im spent, woe to our kind"
74 Monster whines "Join the war band my wife said, we will be rich and famous she said"
75 Monsters complains "I was born to this life, I never had a choice, now Im dead"
76 Monster yelps "I have lived a long life killing and eating who I please, I die proudly"
77 Monster groans "I see my ancestors beckoning me, I go to the heroes eternal feast"
78 Monster roars "I have grown fat on manflesh but this time I tried too much"
79 Monster wheezes "I burned human villages and murdered hundred so it is only fair I die now"
80 Monster whispers "The omens were bad my family said, I should have listened and stayed home"
81 Monster gasps "Join a warband and see the world and kill people they said, bah I am undone"
82 Monster complains "I am murderd but my strong offspring will kill many more of your kind"
83 Monster utters "At last, sweet death, all those I sent ahead will have told you of my service to you"
84 Monster yowls "Yesterday I was the murderer and today I am murdered, the circle of strife"
85 Monster cheers "I have waded through blood and gore, death is my friend, I see you at last"
86 Monster snivels "Master lied, we are not the strongest or cleverest, and now I am slain"
87 Monster curses "You too will be slain on the battle feild or in your bed, I will see you then"
88 Monster mewls "Your kind are like locusts, you will blot out the sun and eat the world"
89 Monster groans "We came here for a new life but instead we find only death at human hands"
90 Monster sobs "All this fighting, pointless, all we want is a good life, is that so wrong?"
91 Monster gives a blood curdling scream of pain attracting wandering monsters
92 Monster sings a battle song boosting the morale of it's comrades
93 Monster cries in pain and splits open with a monster inside bursting free
93 Monster gurgles blood and traces demon sigils with own blood grinning vindictivley
94 Monster cries out and pet Imp in clothing scuttles of to avenge master later
95 Monster dies horridly but it's spirit keeps screaming for some time before departing
96 Monster cries for aid from ancestral spirit who appears to heal the monster
97 Monster cries out to god for aid and vanishes
98 Monster mutters a prayer to it's god and arises as an undead
99 Monster utter a dying curse and due to witch blood it works
100 Monster shouts true name of a devil or demon summoning it


  1. "Never go in with a Sicilian,
    "when death is on the line,
    "Ha, Ha, Ha... aaargh!"


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