What's in that Halfling Bindle?

This might work for any fat greedy middle class semi rural hedonist

d100 What's in that Halfling Bindle?
01 Long clay pipe and block of hash
02 Triple decker sandwich
03 Corned beef in a pot
04 Block of sheep head cheese
05 Jar of pickled onions
06 Boiled eggs 1d20
07 String of fire crackers
08 Tinder box
09 Pick nick blanket
10 Pet sqirrel
11 Doormouse sealed in clay pot for cooking
12 A cottage ham
13 Cast iron frying pan
14 Salt and pepper shakers
15 Jars of exotic herbs and spices 1d6
16 Flute or pan pipes
17 Toenail clippers
18 Loaf of bread
19 Bag of grapes
20 Apples 2d6
21 Blackberry jam in pot
22 Fruit knife
23 Teapot and tea

24 Smoked chicken
25 Mustard pickles in jar
26 Cursed ring in a hankerchief
27 Shaving kit
28 Fishing line and hooks
29 Tin of odd buttons
30 Candle holder and d6 cadles
31 Stuffed toy
32 Night cap
33 Spare underpants
34 Velvet jacket
35 Set of gators or spats
36 Collection of hankerchiefs
37 Thieves tools
38 Bottle of wine
39 Bottle of gin
40 Bottle of beer
41 Bottle of rasperry cordial
42 Jar of honey
43 Teaspoon collection 4d6
44 Tin of buscuits
45 Teatowel bundle of scones
46 Jar of goose or duck fat
47 Leg of roast lamb
48 Fancy hat
49 Spearmint leaves
50 Basket of fried chicken
51 Pound of bacon
52 Pornographic pamphlet from the city
53 Tambourine
54 Dried magic mushrooms
55 Block of butter
56 Fruit cake
57 Cinnamon buns
58 Weight loss pamphlet
59 Sling and sling stones
60 Hatchet
61 Sardines
62 Hand painted playing cards
63 Quill and paper
64 Sheepgut condoms in tin d6
65 Aphrodisiac root
66 Diary full of gossip, food reviews and saucy stories
67 Cookbook
68 Purse of d20 silver coins
69 Jar of ancovies
70 Purse made from sheeps ballsack with d100 copper coins
71 Asparagus in jelly
72 Live cornish game hen
73 Saucy beach scene hand painted postcard
74 Itching powder
75 Stinging nettles for soup or torture
76 Bunch of baby carrots
77 Dill pickles
78 Lettuce
79 Tobacco pouch and wooden pipe
80 Hero sandwich
81 Coil of sausages
82 Pork pies d6
83 Book of saucy poems and limericks
84 String of Garlic 
85 Bag of nuts
86 Bag of boiled sweets
87 Jar of spiced olives
88 Book of ghost stories
89 Butterfly net
90 Decoy wooden duck
91 Toothbrush and mint flavoured chalk powder
92 Wooden dentures
93 Gremlin in a jar
94 Worms in aspic
95 Bar of scented goat milk soap
96 Wooden spoon 
97 Fake mustache
98 Ceramic mixing bowl
99 Long winded boring fantasy novel
100 Dictionary with all rude words circled