Babylon Blog: Against the Witch men of Elam

So our heroes came across a great battle in the mountains of the borders of Elam. A army of the city of Umma had been pursuing gutians when it fell into a ambush from superior Elamites. While the Sumerians of Umma had backward old Sumerian light troops and 2 man chariots with four wheels, the Elamites were better armoured, with modern 4 man chariots with 2 wheels. The heroes poured in through a pass with a group of 18 Gutians they had recruited while Sobek with her javelins and Ariana with her bow climbed the hill and targeted the Elamite charioteers.

The men of Umma were falling back from a line of swordsmen with rear ranks lobbing demoralising curses. The words of our heroes could not sway the bewitched men who fled but they forced them to stop fleeing by physically blocking the pass forcing them to turn and fight defencivley. A Elamite chariot fell and the greatest heroes Kull, his brother, Pek and Toth hacked through the attacking swordsmen, shattering their lines.

Sumerians pushed back and their chariots smashed the Elamite archers sending the surviving Elamite chariots fleeing. Rejoicing from the victors who stacked Elamite severed heads in pyramids to count their dead for the scribes records.

So the prince who led them begged them to come to Umma where his father would reward them. They marched back and got to see distant cities they had not seen before. They had spent little time on this side of the two rivers. Hearth of a city where Dagon was worshipped to north and another city Katulu to south over run with marsh and degenerates. All interested in visiting.

In palace king rewarded them with magic weapons, silver and incense. Spent days in his palace enjoying hospitality, his libraries and sporting with his nobles. The Gutians were offered jobs and wives and Kull's brother too the best of the girls for himself. The king married them all together in a charming ceremony. The heroes were praised in song. Also gave them a chariot and a driver.

One night the king had a dream of evil spirit commanding him to submit. He consulted soothsayers and priests and astrologers and the party decided to help. Ariana consulted the wind omens and sensed a evil wind from the wrong direction in the wasteland. Toth went into a incense trance and dreamt that rebellious forces from the underworld had broken free. They sent message to king who sent them to investigate. Sobek sent a dove ahead and saw a mound had been exposed revealing a ruined temple of the old times. A forgotten Sumerian city.

They parked chariots and left some guards and went in. In a great hall gallu demons attacked. With lion heads and bird feet they fired arrows while ore charged. The heroes beat them back with muscle and magic and even captured one. The dead broke down into putrid filth and bugs then into ash that blew away.

While some first aided th wounded others went upstairs and met a jet black man of darkness, A wicked underworld Djinn of darkness. He engulfed the room in his shade form blinding them all. Most were blindly swinging but several cast second sight and could see the living shadow around them. Sobek fell unconscious and Toth fell from a heart attack. While guards fled one got accidentally got stabbed Kull's brother, another was struck dead by shade and both fell down stairs. One barely alive. Ariana tending to sick found them and saw wall of living night at top of stairs. Eventually the magic weapons killed the shade and all was normal. Found many underworld idols, incense and silver items. Everything dead they returned to Umma the curse was over.

The king rewarded them and asured they were welcome to stay with him.

Roadwar Journal: Source of Zombi Invasion Revealed

Karumi and here mutant biker were fetching parts for the settlers on their farm when at the roadhouse garrage Mutie saw a car that was oddly familiar. A v8 hotrod built from a compact BMW that he realized was same shape as the necromechanoid car he had battled a few months back. He approached the driver in similar uniform to the undead driver he killed in the longest fist fight he was ever in. Guy was a mutie hater and not impressed or helpful. Karumi with her new Gentech Akira cycle stepped in between and got abusive. Guy drove off after paying for gas then turned and fired 2 rpg rockets. Karumi and the mutie jumped behind the muties ram buggy and ducked. Rockets smashed through road house windows and killed most of the diner patrons. Armoured cash register counter protected the owner. Our heroes set off after the killer.

Karumi i her new bike mage great time and blazed away with a rocket that missed then her machineguns. The car tried to do a bootleg but it's steering was damaged and it was leaking fuel and it lost control sliding and spining into a position where it didnt get a good line of fire. She went past it shooting out all but the reserve tank and the mutie followed raming the vehichle crushing it's left hand front weapon pod and moving on through. As he went past he breathed a jet of flame from his lips and ignited the fuel trail. The hotrod roared and tried to get some distance from the fire but Karumi fired a burst and the car and te fire caught up. The hotrod exploded. Went back to roadhouse owner who said they could claim free fuel in future as he helped his wounded and maimed customers.

Karumi cut up the corpse to find strange cyberwear and structures inside. Took his head and called Gentech HQ Sydney - covert ops dept. The hotrod design was used by a new sanctioned ops company Siguard Ops, with cars modified by Volsung International from their Bathurst garage. Volsung was involved in mega structural shipping and airships and had gotten into space industry. Since the Mars mission probe was silenced three months ago the company had been moving lots of stuff to Australia and expanding. This was similar time scale to the zombie outbreak day.

So got aproval from Gentech and went to Bathurst, the Mecca of Motorsports for Australia. It was full of v8 racers of all leagues, death racers, mega corp offices, garages, biker gangs and the best equipped cops outside of Sydney. Found a motel without a no mutie sign and got a share room. Went to Diner and nobody recognised a third rate death racer like the mutant. Met a mutie merc named knife-face whose head was a elongated wedge with a silver metalic edge. He looked angry but mutie brotherhood broke the ice.

After that went to Volsung office. Four stories with razorwire and antenna and dishes on roof. High tech security everywhere.  Office entry was closed but friendly viking like mechanics in the garage working on a hotrod conversion. Discussed what sort of parts available and Mutie got interested in a biological air filter installation. Mostly they were booked for months but offered to fit him in at 3pm tomorrow. Karumi and the mutant saw occult and fascist regalia among badges on office wall.

Karumi took mutie to the Templar mororcycle brotherhood club house. Some were known as mutant haters and the huge fire breathing freak was wary. Karumi was Japanese but knew the world wide gang worked with lots of Gentech covert ops. The two did ok socially and a Female Nazi gang the Aryan sisterhood ofered to take him home even though he was kinda awkward. They left and Karumi tried to find the local Warlord. She was taken to his huge spiked throne lined with buffalo hide. He was in all black gentech armoured racing suit with hemet. Had Thule Broderbund markings and Templar symbols on his suit. He didnt seem to speak, communicating by a mouth piece. She couldnt read his mind. But put it down to her failure. She aranged deal to hire 5 men for $500 for tomorrow but $2000 if there was any unusual action for a murderous biker gang day out. She really couldn't tell if boss was talking when the speaker put his head to bosses and whispered. He spoke how they both served the Temple and was happy to help her. She was vaguely aware the Gentech board dealt with a group called the Temple.

After paying a little old cyborg banker in nazi uniform jacked into a terminal she went to bar.

The boss waved men cracking onto Karumi away and she went to drink with her men and hear gossip.

Gangs in town were busy molesting refugees from huge zombie infested area also ransacking empty property in the zone and killing zombies for fun. Armed forces were moving in and reserve units having exercises in area. Satisfied by gossip from here hired gang bangers she declared was time to go home. The asked if she wanted escort back to motel. She agreed and chose youngest hottest ones with long hair and no scars or cyborg parts. At motel she invited them in. She was pleased they followed the old Templar code of brotherhood and were openly bisexual.

Mutie was chained to a bed, urinated on and had restrained sex with whole gang. They branded his arse with a swastika and said he was now their bitch. In morning he was thrown out of their gang house naked with his pee stained clothes in a heap.

It went better than expected. Met Karumi as her boys went to get ready to ride.

At 10 the group set off for the Zombie quarentien zone. Passed some Josephite refugees and as aproache border saw a Volsung Hotrod with a nercromechanoid version behind it. As range closed the Volsung rods, fired RPG rounds and missed. Bikers opened the v formation so rockets couldnt kill more than one at a time. As closed machine guns blazed both sides. Most bikers used small arms and hid behind the mutant ram buggy except the cyborg templar with a MG in his bike. KArumi went forward dodging and firing making a bit of a mess of the Normal Volsung hotrod. Bullets couldnt get through the huge ramplate on the buggy and it got closer and closer. Karumi went past hotrods that tried ramming her and the templars and missed. Mutant contacted the lead Volsung hotrod destroying it's corner and it spun of road. The nercromechanoid one accelerated away to safety but the damaged one was slowed and on fire as Karumi fired at it from behind with the cyborg Templar.

The car slowed and the driver jumped out. Bikers chased it and KArumi was impressed as the quick drew medieval weapons. As two bikers got fire extinguishers on the car others chased the on foot driver, whose fire suit was damaged and bullet proof armour was damaged by slugs. Mutie cut driver off and got out. Karumi helped with the fire. Bikers managed to hack at the Siguard op legs sending her tumbling. Mutie grabbed her and chained her to his car.

Fire went out and gang set about stripping thousands in parts that they offered to take as payment. Karumi asked the bitch op questions but she was just abusive how her friends would kill party. Mutie saw her interface jacks necrotic. She was being zombified by strain of the bioplague. Her car had a air filter just like he planned to by and it had grown bio mechanoid roots through car and infected her through it's jacks. Karumi used the telepathy that Gentech had vat grown her to wield. She learned of the Siguard Sanctioned op base in the Zombie zone. How the ruling clas of undead were infecting and creating thralls, her dreams of immortality and power and how her master was listening in on these very thoughts. Karumi felt the outrage when the master dropped the link. The zombie plague was actually alien nanites that had fallen to Earth months ago. When a probe near Europa had awoken the alien it sent Spawn to take the Mars mission and awoken the nanites on Earth.

Karumi led everyone back to Bathurst and the Gentech office there. She got a plane to take the zombie fangirl driver to a Sydney biolab. Got cars repaired and Mutie got his new bio air filter put in. Gentech even paid for it and offered to reimberse him for potential loss of his car. He loved the idea his car would be a living monster. He would feed it blood and it would love him. He had no cyberwear so felt secure. Gentech were pleased. Karumis father who had grown her tried to have her recalled but company said no. Studied satelite maps and planned for raid on the Zombie HQ. Karumi impressed by the cyborg Templar took him to bed and Mutant returned to the Aryan women biker gang who were happy to see their bitch come home.

Meanwhile medical corps were merging with funeral and mercenary companies to for Necrotech, the new Megacorp Necrotech was born.

Last game for year - will return 2015

Death race on Relyeh?
Moonbuggy alien asault?
Bloodfeast for hells hotrods?

Find out next year.

Will get a PDF ready for these rules as I am gonna make players rebuild vehichles as some of the early trucks came out way too good. More high tech vehicles, transformers, light mechs, GEV, hover tanks, oats and more.

More d100 Off Duty Monsters Antics

Previous post on this a unexpected runaway success that took 15 minutes on bus to write (and a lil help from Richard Grenville on G+). Hopefully because it was simple and funny not just because of bodily humour.

Ok so next few days revised redbrick a-z coming out here, blood magic (thanks to my 9 year old helpers) and some finalized rules on my roadwar game.

Been nice to get back to basics. Lots of requests for more Psychon stuff but im a bit stumped for ideas which might be why i stopped it. I aIso rn most of my Gammworld Modules I got as teen in UK 1984. I do like 9and30kingdoms.blogspot.com has done with Yellow planet and his Carcosa mods. I guess I could finish my robot rules and mutation lists and mutant character class, all big projects. Any requests for more Planet Psychon let me know.

d100 More off duty monster barracks antics
01 Picking nose
02 Piercing each other with jewelery (safest way to save your treasure)
03 Farting or belching contest
04 Eating beans
05 Ransacking comrades trunks
06 Drinking contest
07 Sitting on chamberpot d4 1=whistling 2=straining 3=reading 4=twiddling thumbs
08 Trying to start a fire
09 Chasing a rat
10 Fishing in a drain hole for something they saw move
11 Threading finger and ear necklaces
12 Swatting insects
13 Making shrunken heads and teaching beginners
14 Writing or dictating a letter home
15 Being warned by superior to be alert for adventurers
16 Teaching young comrade how to resist torture
17 Teaching bird in cage to swear
18 Chortling over rude shaped turnip or fungus
19 Playing with dire wolf puppy
20 Talking about inter tribe sport teams
21 Kicking around a d4 1=kobold 2=gremlin 3=goblin 4=baby orc
22 Eating a pickled hog head
23 Shooting fish in a barrel with crossbow
24 Talking about feelings
25 Taking turns to snatch scorpion or snake from bowl
26 Teasing stupidest monster in barracks with tricks
27 Picking on comrade for reading a book
28 Chasing a moth
29 Discussing poetry
30Gossiping about love life of boss
31 Boasting who has killed most humans
32 Giving each other leech therapy
33 Complaining how uniforms make them look fat
34 Eating honey comb
35 Eating a bucket of garlic buttered snails and frog legs
36 Having a pissing contest
37 Making crude costumes to scare intruders or a prank
38 Playing cup and ball, complaining "it's my turn next"
39 Taunting each other
40 Inventing a new battle cry and discussing merits of each
41 Plotting to run away from dungeon and boss before caught for treason
42 Fighting over who cleans d4 1=dishes 2=latrines 3=mops dorm 4=laundry
43 Discussing investments and savings tips
44 Gutting fish for snack
45 Hitting frogs from a bucket for stew with mallets
46 Carving pumpkin lanterns to scare other monsters for a prank
47 Practicing latest dance moves
48 Preparing for a graffiti spree (paint, charcoal, posters, paste)
49 Trying to tempt parasite from comrades head with piece of bacon
50 Monsters confronting comrade about problem d4 1=drinking 2=not drinking 3=blasphemy 4=beserking
51 Testing home remedies for worms on comrade
52 Fighting over candy
53 Playing handball
54 Holy man warning about VD
55 Shaving a comatose drunk buddy
56 Sharing tips on love making
57 Helping junior compose love poem
58 Building a scale model
59 Drawing on walls with charcoal
60 Making a slug smoothie
61 Watching monkey trainers adult only show
62 Running a sly casino
63 Running a sly grog shop
64 Selling stolen goods
65 Selling drugs
66 Selling stolen wheels and animals
67 Rat racing for money in a maze
68 Viewing erotic prints from city
69 Having a grog and cheese tasting party
70 Monsters copying letter on chalkboard, scenting with perfume and applying lipstick kisses for love letter scam
71 Having a seance to talk to dead buddy
72 Worshiping ancestral spirits
73 Crab racing for money
74 Licking toads, frogs, newts and salamanders for best high
75 Riding a greased pig contest
76 Trading rude shaped vegetables or fungi for collections
77 Watching puppet or ventriloquist show
78 Wondering what to do with boxed nest of angry wasps
79 Bee keepers club working on hives before taking back outside
80 Training flea circus and dreaming of touring the continent
81 Amputating a comrades limb
82 Treating comrades VD with mercury
83 Quarantined with plague
84 Testing mystery potions on new recruit
85 Bring your kids to work day
86 Making fake healing potions to replace dungeon supplies and sell for quick cash
87 Discussing how to make the dungeon better for everyone
88 Discussing if new spell caster better than old one or not
89 Talking about body building secrets
90 Talking abut treasures they have lost from misfortune
91 Discussing how awesome it is to be the master race and wondering why other races disagree
92 Feeding pet hidden d4 1=under bed 2=in drain 3=in secret panel 4=in trunk
93 Discussing why humans are murder hobo jerks and assume monsters up to no good
94 Arguing if stone, bronze or iron is best for weapons
95 Complaining how training scenarios not simulationist enough and too much story
96 Blaming women for all their problems and whining about their pathetic failed lives
97 Talking about medical problems and how witch doctors not know anything
98 Consoling bunk mate whining why girls not like him yet again
99 Discussing how wizards & dwarves grow beards to overcompensate for small genitals
100 Discussing how to tell gender of elves and how embarrassing to get it confused

d100 What is dungeon boss doing now?

Ok as my d100 Off Duty Monsters
was pretty popular i could probably do another one but while wandering monster guards are slacking off the boss monster has plenty to keep him busy.

Russ Nicholson is artist here and im mostly terrible at acknowleging artists or citing writers even though i am artist and a writer. Russ is probably one of visually most inspiring artists for my dungeon fantasy games.

I'm developing my blood wizard spell list with help of 9 year old girls. Working on revised A-Z dungeon key for redbrick zone. This and the d100 Off Duty Monsters are tangents of that process.

I mostly write half a table on a page of a4 graff paper on bus to work in about 15 minutes. Think about more waiting at bus and walking to work about another 25 minutes a day.

This table is handy to use if players attack the boss precinct of dungeon. Give a rough idea of where boss at any time if not alert to murder hobo raid close to him. Possibly

Once had party burst through a secret door and found bugbear boss and wife in bed passionately embracing. Party had a bugbear hoping to take over joint with them and struck king dead. Then recognised his mum. Happy times. "You mean those halflings were not my real parents?"

Old post here on more magical boss plans
http://elfmaidsandoctopi.blogspot.com.au/2013/05/the-necromancer-who-loved-me-evil-plots.html
 
More basic boss reams for middle manager monsters
http://elfmaidsandoctopi.blogspot.com.au/2013/05/the-man-with-golden-wand-boss-monster.html

d10 Quick version
1 Making legal judgements
2 Negotiations and diplomacy
3 Feasting and fellowship
4 Family Life
5 Policy and planing with advisers
6 Sports and games
7 Ceremonial and religious life
8 Relaxation and health
9 War and conflict
10 Self indulgence

d100 Boss Monster Work, Rest and Play
01 Making legal judgements over petty tribal quarrels
02 Whipping or punishing minion for some failure
03 Executing a minion for crime like treason
04 Judging minion quarrel
05 Documenting new rules
06 Distributing booty to heroes and bodyguards
07 Interrogating minions to find guilty to punish
08 Interrogating a heretic or alignment deviant with radical philosophy
09 Make minions undergo trial by ordeal
10 Banishing a former minion and stripping them of goods
11 Negotiations and diplomacy with local visiting boss monster
12 Meeting merchants or traders
13 Meeting bandits or criminal organization
14 Meeting a cult leader
15 Meeting human leader to negotiate ransom
16 Meeting spell users who wish to set up business in area
17 Trading for magic items with magician or merchant
18 Negotiating a marriage deal for offspring
19 Paying tithe to superior visiting boss monster or leader
20 Negotiating with evil humans who seek to control region
21 Feasting and fellowship with tribe to share good times or celebrating good event
22 Eating prisoner or naughty minion with bodyguards
23 Feasting with traitors and enemies so he can murder them
24 Entertaining a guest leader
25 Feasting after a magnificent hunt
26 Special holy day feast, extra jolly
27 In-laws over to freeload and gorge selves at feast
28 Witch visiting being given feast, all awkward and uncomfortable
29 Feast for magician who will be supporting tribe for a while as guest
30 Feast and monster dance party celebrating anniversary of boss rule
31 Enjoying family life with kin
32 Planning political marriage for self or child
33 Entertaining with consort
34 Passionate love making with consort
35 Spending quality time with children
36 Witnessing birth of child
37 Being nagged by wife
38 Mourning a lost minion or kinsman
39 Beating ungrateful children
40 Having adoption ceramony
41 Yearly policy and planing meeting with advisers
42 Counting treasure
43 Testing new magic items on low rank minion or prisoner
44 Talking to craftsmen about expanding dungeon and improvements
45 Commissioning artwork to celebrate rulership
46 Bossing genealogist into improving family tree
47 Discussing food stores and production
48 Discussing tribal skill shortages with advisers
49 Discussing trade shortages with advisers
50 Talks with holy folk to improve relations with dods, outer planes and elder evils
51 Sports and games with tribe competing in various events
52 Watching a pet torment minion or prisoner
53 Watching prisoners fight to death
54 Watching minions compete with weapons and unarmed combat
55 Playing chess with d4 1=spell caster 2=other boss 3=minion 4=wife
56 Gambling with d4 1=spell caster 2=other boss 3=minion 4=outer planes being
57 Demonstrating his superior combat skills on prisoners and terrified servants
58 Watching gladiators fight each other or other creatures
59 Making minion perform humiliating obstacles in fancy dress
60 Boss shooting at minions dressed crudely as birds
61 Planning ceremonial and religious event with experts
62 Talking to soothsayer or divination expert
63 Giving a stirring speech to minions
64 In prayer to gods
65 Leading community in important ceremony to gods
66 Appointing new adviser or champion or bodyguard
67 Performing sacrifice of human or beast with holy men
68 Blessing babies of community
69 Presenting minion with reward for good or long service
70 Assisting hags with fertility ceremony
71 Relaxation with a good book or admiring artwork
72 Discussing a health crisis with healers
73 Being shaved and groomed by wife and handmaidens
74 Sitting on royal chamber pot with privy councilor attending
75 Having makeup put on by servant
76 Hung over with attendant standing by with bucket
77 Being attended by healer over awful affliction
78 Receiving a massage and oiled up
79 Toothache with minions trying to remove from angry master
80 Witnessing healers trying to save kinfolk
81 Discussing possible territorial threats with war chiefs
82 Preparing raid on surface dwellers
83 Planning to catch out treasonous plotters
84 Planning lair or territory expansion
85 Planning to kill rival or upstart leader
86 Planning anti adventurer mission for elites
87 Planning war against rival monsters
88 Briefing elite squad to go on a quest
89 Torturing prisoners for information
90 Looking over territory maps with best warriors
91 Self indulgence with tasty treats
92 Abusing love slaves
93 Listening to shaman or bard epic poem
94 Getting horribly drunk or high
95 Watching jester
96 Watching acrobats
97 Watching musical performance
98 Watching love slaves perform erotic dance
99 Watching prisoner being eaten by some beast
100 Napping on throne

Dungeon Defence Condition Codes

Monsters are people (sort of) and tend to get panicky when murder hobos are running about their local dungeon killing their neighbors. The first time your party go on a blood soaked rampage the dungeon locals might be surprised. Odds are when you come back after a 8 hour rest the monsters will be more ready. A month later the dungeon may be ready to escalate faster in defcon conditions.

A paranoid cult, or a dungeon at war with rival tribe might respond more urgently. A shaman might be assigned to daily check if adventurer party returning on a particular day with divination skills or spells.

Some leaders might milk situation to secure rule, form new allegiances or even invite some bugbears and ogres over.

Monsters might even think certain phenomena are omens of humans on way to savagely kill them and sell children to gladiator pits.

Grag saw a screech owl poop on a rock last night! Adventurers are coming to eat our kids!

Dungeon Defcon0 White (vulnerable condition)

• After a party monsters are all passed out, asleep or hung over, mostly servants awake
• This is unusual condition, monsters being slack and very vulnerable
• Guards might even be asleep and noises are ignored or yelled at
• 1in12 encounters every 10 minutes or every time disturbing sounds made

Dungeon Defcon1 Green (normal condition)

• Business as usual, light guards and patrols of wandering monsters boss carries on as usual
• This is typical condition, alert for large obvious attack or group of unwelcome intruders
• This is typical condition for nocturnal dungeon monsters in daytime or humans at night
• 1in12 encounters every 10 minutes or every time disturbing sounds made

Dungeon Defcon2 Yellow (amber alert) 

• Rumours abound and some dead monsters trigger extra guards and investigation, high foot traffic
• Boss minions inform master that there is a problem in dungeon
• This is more like dungeon by night when nocturnal humanoids busy working and more active
• 2in12 encounters every 10 minutes or every time disturbing sounds made, guards doubled

Dungeon Defcon3 Red (red alert) 

• Bells, horns and gongs ring till emergency over, elite team and scouts sent to track intruders
• Boss dresses in best armour, all monsters armed and ready, children and sick taken to shelter or flee
• The dungeon dwellers all know that there are adventurers on a monster murder spree about
• 3in12 encounters every 10 minutes or every time disturbing sounds made, extra entrance guards

Dungeon Defcon4 (black alert)

• Additional noise maker signifying death, danger and desperation 
• Doors bolted, treasure hidden, monsters systematically and strategically fortify for siege, seal entrances
• Shamans will raise undead, distribute potions and prey to demon gods
• Monsters may collapse tunnels, release pets, add traps, signal allies and will defend the core dungeon
• 4in12 encounters every 10 minutes or every time disturbing sounds made, guard posts build barricades and set extra traps

Remember!

Hunamz will eat your face if you are caught napping!
Know your dungeon code!
Practice your murder hobo drillz!

Or what happened in the Caves of Chaos will happen to your family!

Exile log: Magic mushroom mystery maze

Im getting lots of requests for Planet Psychon games so will replace my Marvel game every second Sat night possibly next year. Also Im getting advice for Blood spells from tween horror loving girls so will see soon.

So the party before delving into upper citadel heard after killing the demon and bugbear templars that orc adventurers had been running amok in area. So decided to go higher away from opportunistic orcs. Into the fungus garden levels. Thee heroes and seven followers. While crossing great hall past stairs through mist shrouded mushroom garden, one of Acula's orc hoplites trod through some explosive fungus but was saved by healers.

A few party members snickered at rude shaped fungi.

Found a dark elf glued to a mushroom tree and goblins sitting nearby watching to see what would happen. Nahme freed him and goblins ran off after elf.

So wandered from main room and went into side rooms, former craftmen showrooms with apartments. Found a pile og glistening gold and a crown but wa just bait with a fools gold spell. Still, flunkies impressed by a pound of copper coins for beer and food.

Heard laghter and squelching and found red hatted gnomes taking turns to ride a fungus. They mentioned some sorcerers in area. Found room of drug adled aprentice sorcerers snikkering. They liked Nahme and tried to talk their lowbrow stoner philosophy with her, but she didn't care. One sneered and Acula punched him. Fight was on but arrows knocked them all out. Nahme saved them and lads scolded but she accepted they were provoked by Acula's escalation. Party needed healers to rest so others guarded.The theif (former lantern boy)  got a minor injury from a choking fungus and otherwise ok. The Tako octopus lad spotted zombies overgrown with fungi and white fungal antlers growing from their heads. Acula threw a incendry at them burning them all to death.

Last watch while scouting heard crying goblins and saw 4 black gobbos about to be sacrificed by slug men to their demon goddess. Party convinced Sorcerers to join in and the slugs went down under fail of sleep spells, arrows and summoned orc warriors. Rescued gobbos grateful. Some ethical issues over killing sleeping slug men but Acula not too worried even though he has enough ethics to stop a sacrifice. Took stone demon knife to Nahme who smashed it.

Finally healers rested for 8 hours and party on move. Found a chest on a trapdoor over piranha slug pit. Lassoed the chest and pulled up and opened to find a seductive devil stone. The Tako and Acula craved it and began to fight. Nahme grabbed it. Tako and Acula stopped fighting and glared at her. Rest of party tried to console them and Acula tried to snatch it. Nahme paralyzed him with a hold spell and the Tako cast charm on her. The thief snatched it and chucked in monster pit. Out of sight the oys returned to normal but Nahme likes the Octopus boy lots more now. 

Wandered into a dry lichen room which the deemed a good camp for later. Found a huge slug monster  eating yellow cap shrooms which spat acid at Nahme. The party slaughtered it. Later found a huge mass of white tiny mushrooms growing from a great column. While the octopus got close to see If his herbalism or alchemy could identify any value, the thig opened it's eye and the thousands of year old guardian of the fungi garden attacked. Got a few slaps on party and they slaughtered it too. Acula started to feel sorry for monsters and how none of his friends were as good at murder-hobo-ing as him. Of course the dungeon gods dont like adventurer Hubris.

While still looking in niche heard some rats but these where huge grizzly bear size rats which climbed over each other to tear at party. Tako's crab man got grabbed by rat and carried off. Party formed a line and held but several went down from savage claws and bites. The theif took route back and intercepted the huge rat an back stabbed him. The rat kept running with bloody crab man (beloved Squinty). Only Acula got unscathed before rats mostly fled. He took opportunity to kill three running away but all up half of the 8 monster rats fled. Party fled back to lower levels battered and sore but intrigued by the mushroom garden.

A few began to discuss how to get out of underland and planned that Nahme could fly up to ceiling where Dwarf city had lowered them in a elevator then get them to lower down. Still a while off. Being here made them miss the Hobgoblin Halls an trying to kill Chondaru. Acula wanted to see if hi huma wivs would tolerate him being a orc. But the Citadel would keep them returning on current qust for the orc king.

d100 Off Duty Monsters

So when not sleeping or at work what is a monster to do? Roll this to find what monsters are doing during their downtime when you sneak into their barracks like a murder hobo.

In my dungeons monsters sleep in day but this is usable.

Thanks to Richard Grenville for ideas mostly about 61-80

d6 Monster Work Roster
1-2 Sleep
3-4 On Duty in dungeon
5-6 Downtime

d100 Monster Downtime
1 Maintaining  weapons and armour
2 Sparing and training
3 Cleaning room
4 Shaving
5 Enjoying a good meal
6 Drinking beer
7 Abusing a subordinate
8 Tormenting a captive
9 Slaughtering a animal to eat
10 Gambling
11 Making small animals fight for sport and bets
12 Delousing self
13 Applying first aid
14 Cleaning boots
15 Whining about dungeon conditions and superiors
16 Punishing a subordinate
17 Smoking
18 High on shrooms
19 Playing a game of skill
20 Pranking a dorm mate
21 Lancing a boil
22 Having a brawl or wrestle
23 Throwing knives at a target (possibly tied up and alive)
24 Abusing a animal
25 Trying to read dungeon time sheet or battle plan
26 Talking about sweetheart back home (crude artwork or memento like hair)
27 Talking about plans to settle down after this tour of duty
28 Trimming toenails
29 Grooming for date or meeting with boss
30 Sitting on bed with a bucket from hangover
31 Cheering at dancer or stripper
32 Whittle a piece of wood
33 Playing dicePlaying knuckle bones
34 Arm wrestling
35 Getting a tattoo
36 Carving artwork on a monster tooth
37 Telling dirty and/or racist jokes
38 Picking teeth clean
39 Cutting hair
40 Eating a pie
41 Eating sausages
42 Eating a turnip
43 Playing music and intently listening
44 Reciting poetry
45 Singing and dancing
46 Getting drunk on rotgut grog
47 Talking over local map
48 Telling ghost stories
49 Telling battle stories
50 Eating smoked or dried fish
51 A spot of cannibalism
52 Looting a corpse
53 Braiding hair
54 Eating coarse moldy bread
55 Looking at pornographic artwork
56 Mending boots
57 Skinning a rat, cat or dog
58 Playing with pet
59 Training pet
60 Teaching a child
61 Showing off to each other with feats of strength/prowess
62 Reminiscing
63 Making fun of humans: "no after you" "No! after you!"
64 Disturbing grooming - removing bones or prosthetics for cleaning, checking for lesions
65 Posing and painting
66 Weaving, knitting, sewing and other dungeon handicrafts
67 Debugging battle plans
68 Mourning over dead comrades body
69 Teasing a huge foot long spider or scorpion
70 Kicking about a severed head
71 Consoling a comrade whose wife left him or some other family tragedy
72 Practicing battle cries
73 Trying to reach down a drain or air vent for something
74 Listening to instructions or pep talk from boss
75 Rolling out dough
76 Hunting, enraged, for lost keys
77 Arguing about latest dungeon roster
78 Reading aloud to illiterate comrades
79 Talking about who is best god or demon or devil or old one
80 Comparing trophies like ears, fingers, scalps, skulls or shrunken heads
81 Bathing in a barrel or tub or with sponge or with oil and scraper
82 Discussing alignment morality
83 Sharing recipes for food or poison
84 Brewing grog in small keg or pumpkin before returning to secret hiding spot
85 Telling funny stories about murder
86 Practicing drill or battle tactics or dance
87 Performing sacrifice
88 Counting coins
89 Talking about wives and girlfriends and moms
90 Planning a heist
91 Kangaroo courtroom against peer who let team down
92 Planing of stealing rival dorm idol or mascot (an ongoing project)
93 Hazing a new recruit
94 Impersonating boss or enemies or priest
95 Sniffing women's stolen clothing
96 Biting heads off snakes
97 Flexing muscles to see who is strongest
98 Dressing in women's clothing for dungeon revue show coming soon
99 Reading name tags aloud from lost hats
100 Playing board or card game

hmmm - had to get over 4000 hits on reddit before someone mentioned i double counted some numbers will have to do a third version sigh - have fixed a few bits

10 Masturbating
11 Peeling root vegetables
12 Eating eggs
13 Eating groats
14 Snacking on rat on a stick or huge bug
15 Having a nap
16 Praying to gods
17 Plotting with peers against boss
18 Dreaming up a evil scheme

for guy who didnt get 99
lost hats have nametags - reading tags to find owners - happens at millions of schools world wide daily

Prey/pray to gods error fixed - i dont really get religion it is true - do you just talk to your invisible friends or some how exploit them to justify your awful behavior

As for claim my site is ugly well its a bunch of templates that cost nothing

point of my work is quantity not quality

Babylon Log: Graverobbing and Black Sorcery in Egypt

So the heroes arrived in port in Egyt and established a new trade post. Now they had trade posts everywhere except Elam and Uratu. The ans was pleasant and they enjoyed luxury and peace. Went hunting and battled lions, a giraffe and a flock of Demon birds! The local hunters seemed not to think Ostriches were so evil but the heroes knew better - they were the spawn of the Anzu bird. Saw the Sphinx and Pyramids. A giant cobra almost got Kull. A demon with a lion body with a cobra coming from it's neck attacked by night. Managed to cut snake from body and had two monsters to fight instead but it eventually died chopped into many small bits. This upset the hunters a bit so party found their distractions elsewhere from killing mostly  dumb animals.

Eventually decided to visit Toth's family in Karnak. A week of travel to Thebes on a pleasant river cruise. Once there he met his family he had not seen since being sent to join his father in Babylon as a child. He met his "baby" brother who was overjoyed to see them. Recognising them as great adventurers he invited them to Karnak where he worked with a clan of grave robbers. He also mentioned you could buy ancient black manuscripts there.

"Really", said Toth.

So all went to Karnak and spoke to some Nubians charioteer scouts from the south border on the way. Got a ferry over the Nile and towards the city of Karnak. Thoth's brother led them through a fringe village of tomb builders which pleased Toth. In the mountains nearby was a tomb valley and the craftsmen made a living building ombs anc crafting grave goods and art. Of course others made a living robbing them and selling old grave goods as new. At the boys criminal friends home the gang met the heroes and offered them their barn to stay in. Sobek who loved animals stayed in the barn the rest set up tents, Ariana bossed Sobek into making her tent. While shopping for forbidden papyrus scrolls found a half brother who had been missing from the clan for a year. He was a scribe and was travelling and studying and happily rejoined the party. The night before the trek, Toth inhaled the sacred fumes of incense and dreamed that treasure awaited. Ariana's wind divination warned of death.

The band were weary of heroes but offered to take them to a forbidden valley and cursed tomb. As they marched to the valley the groups sized each other up. Toth's brother hoped he would impress his gang who clearly thought very little of him. Scorpions were everywhere.

Found a ancient Mustaba style slab tomb, pre dating the Two kingdom era, with much simple art. Art on door proclaimed was tomb of Unas the untouchable who claimed to have eaten the gods and claimed their power. Kull a champion of Marduk saw similarities to his god's claims.

A gang member smashed the door down and the leader decided to leave the boy and several guards outside (hoping to use Toth's brother as a hostage). Inside was more simple tomb art art pre dating the Egyptian style. At end of hall was a another wall but this barrier was a hastily erected and crudely plastered over. So the gang smashed it down. Kull boldly walked through and was struck by a horrible wound that burst from under his skin crippling him. While he healed himself Pek warded himself from magic and stepped through. It didnt work but he managed to survive the wound and then smashed around the door frame looking for wards. Found thee statuettes and broke the ward. Two more alcoves were passed and wards gathered but each was weaker. Finally at end was another plaster wall. When smashed hole through it. As one of heroes could cast a wall of darkness he did not fear it and finished the smashing and wennt through. Sobek had collected all the warding idols of female figurines with crowns.

Inside were two huge crocodile headed sarcophagi and a jet black smooth faced sphynx and two more doors. All thought the Sphynx creepy and several robbers backed off. Sobek stared at the face and went into a trance and several others tried to drag her out. Kull started to cast a spell in preparation. This angered the tomb spirits who awoke the crocodile Mummies. A huge brawl broke out. Ariana now afraid of big monsters she cant seem to hurt jumped through the wall of darkness. One bandit went insane and stabbed Kull. When a party member hit him back the bandits all turned on the party and several fled. Ariana for some reason behind the wall of shadow struck them dead. Others tried to Drag Sobek away but she was busy in a dreamland conversing with Nyarlathotep. He offered her advice and magical power if she needed it. The bandits and mummies were all finaly killed but everyone injured. Ariana went outside and shot all the guards and Toth's brother. Toth eventually showed no concern as his cult defended the underworld and practised treason as a matter of course. He was planning on killing his brother and all his friends.

Sobek recovered with a new spell the dark god gave her to call him. Yay!

Two more tunnels were left to explore. Aparenty the Tomb of Unas had been moved by the cult of the Dark god. One passage led to a empty shrine tomb of the Black Pharaoh Nophru Ka. Art depicted suffering, monstrous gods and the revolting priests who destroyed him. Unclear if past or future. Obviously post dated the construction of the tomb. The second chamber depicted a strange city of wonders with great towers, men flying in sky chariots and a future king. Found several strange relics including potions. Thinking them ambrosia of the gods several drank it and found themselves in a strange state where they did not breathe. Also found a black papyrus book and a strange metal coffin with alien sigils. A large disc on the front with symbols and moving rods at different speeds. A smaller series of discs seemed to be some kind of lock. Aslo were several enchanted daggers, a mace and a crumbling bow and arrows.

All the treasure was carried away to Karnak. They were told of a rich merchant interested in such goods. After showing treasure to his servants they were allowed in and met the corpulent huge merchant. He seemed pleased and offered the to rest. The golden potions he gave them plenty for and the empty ones. He explained they were potions that allowed wizards on star born stteds to traverse the heavens. Party grunted - nobody interested in that. The great coffin he offered a talent of silver (30kg). Enough to make them allrich. Sobek thought this was odd and suspicious. Toth was keen to sell. The merchant offered them a night as his guests to decide and the barbarians were left to guard the coffin in a vault. Sobek pleaded the should keep box but merchant explained would take a life time of study and none of party especially barbarians would ever understand the box. They did sell a dagger and the mace and paid the merchant to use sorcery to mend the bow and enchanted arrows which Iltani kept.

So in private rooms the nobles rested. Ariana tried wind divination that said the box was a great mystery and dangerous. Sobek called the dark god who took her spirit to his palace across the universe and told her of the power of the clock to travel in time and space but he could teach her the same with witchcraft. He also told her the current combination. Alarmed she went downstairs to check on the barbarians who unimpressed at being called stupid were taking turns at opening it. Pek managed the combination. A crack appeared and the lid began to open. Heavy breathing and tentacled fingers slipped out and Pek jumped on the lid. A horrible scream from within as the lid shut and the lock re set itself.

Unknown to them it was a poor time traveller with an alien bodied gained on his misadventures.

Toth spent night trading spells with the Merchant who preferred simpler cult magic to complex sorcery.

In morning The exchange was made and all party now rich beyond wildest dreams. Mansions, slaves, even a small castle were within reach. They were keen to go home and spend it.

Babylon Log: Into the Labyrinth

 So settled in Knossos after exiting sea voyage with giants and dragons and the wrath of the Gods. Ariana was home and saw her family and beautiful twin brother.  The heroes set about setting up a trade outpost and before long were invited to see king Minos. Slightly wary they mrt the king who invited them to feast and tell him of their travels. He was very amused and invited them to stay. Called for their servants to gather their possessions for the stay. At first being in the greatest and richest court in the woeld seemd ok but was soon clear they were not allowed to leave. Spent days at sport, Sobek spent time in the menagerie and Toth looked in libraries. They heard of sacrifices, the Labyrinth and beast within beneath the palace.

Ariana came across the workshop of Deadalus who was also a prisoner with his son. He viewed the gods as just great lying sorcerers who obtained magic in past when more common. Magic he explained was just a science of underlying principles. Ariana looked at his incredible inventions including a rotating steam sphere, a mechanical device to determine the location of planets and predict eclipses. Ariana spent days here and slept with his son Icarus. She heard about the device he built to disguise the former queen with a hollow wooden cow and how the minotaur came to be. She heard of secret entries to the Maze but Daedalus recommended safer while the dozen sacrifices loose in the maze. She asked Daedalus to join them but he had his own plans under a great oil cloth. Her brother kept inviting her to join him in dallying  with palace eunuchs but she was too busy.

Over days Sobek sent messages outside the palace through servants she befriended. Some of the heroes met the sacrifices, best youths from one of many cities of the mainlands of Greece. They were being anointed and prepared for sacrifice. Pek tried to seduce the maidens as they wouldn't want to die virgins. He got a few kisses at best. One of them was a lad named Theseus who had infiltrated th group to kill the Minotaur. Ariana made friends with the local princess Ariadne and met her sister Phaedra and the girls met a witch of Hecate on tips to help Theseus.

On the fateful day the heroes were at the ceremony where the sacrifices were to thrown into the labyrinth. Ariadne had hidden a sword and thread for Theseus. The heroes got out of the celebrating feast and had taken their weapons and armour hidden to Daedalus's lab earlier. They entered the dungeon and followed the instructions of Daedalus and warnings that the walls moved. Pek and Targ asked why not just kill the beast but Iltani reminded them the monster was a son of a god - the bull was Posieden who already hated the party. Pek said all great onsters are divine and great enemies make a man great. They had been avoiding the bellows of the beast but when they heard screams of the sacrifices they went to see. The great beast was wearing bronze plate armour and was killing several prisoners, They charged and hammered the beast. It had a pole axe and lashed out with kicks maiming Kull at one point who fell but healed himself. Pek had his armour breaching spell and dealt it some great wounds but it was a long fight. Theseus came and attacked it's back and several heroes were in doubt they could do anything.

The beast fell and theseus claimed the head Sobek complained as they had done all the work so she took a horn when thesues insisted would let him overthrow Minos. Besides he had divine favour so wouldnt be punished for the kill as gods told him to come here.

As party fled the secret doors leading to the outside, their servants met them and they all fled to harbour. Arianas family were happy to run the trade hall for the heroes clan. Arianas pretty twin joined them as they sailed for Egypt, land of Toth's kin.

Longstairs, Retro UK TV and Mars Attacks

Saphire And Steel
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dqah0bXh19E
A great show kinda Dr Who/Supernatural drama

Children of the Stone - kids vs Cthulhu
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SwT0wLnT7Rc
Im arguing with religious nutter in comments about Stone henge now

Into the Labyrinth - kids fighting for and against magicians in time travel cave drama
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AcwLnIf4JO8...


All these shows have great RPG premises

Played Mars Attacks game and was big fun. I will get a set of 100 Zombies to experiment with i and dinosaurs. Iost twice but very fun. Models are handy for so many games. I will use army ones in my long stairs and cthulhu games too so will get more army men and the civilian set. Using cheap toy bugs worked well. Get some insects yet.

Played a session of Long Stairs game and players enjoyed. Was by request as other game cancelled. Will try and run a few more games then run Psychon again next year. Nice to have players request I run things.

Long Stairs had three player with 4 zero level soldiers and uniformed consultants each. Got through the Maralinga entrance to Beta forward camp. Got given basic instructions on entering the Dungeon Dimension. First sortie was a hoarde of 180 orcs charging two squads and two MG placements. In a Zulu Dawn moment, the orcs swarm over the razor wire and int the trenches killing the captain and machine gunners first. The other squad was routed and party fixed bayonetes and had to fight in chaotic melee where orcs had advantage. Heroes got a few chances to shoot incoming wave ang got orcs down to point where corporal rallied men with death threats. All very tense and worried. Had to bury dead over a day and found some orc documents and silver necklace on leaders dead. One got into a fight with a grumpy vet and ended up in the brig.

One character sent to trial and got saved from accusations of cowardice. Rest all got declared were no longer green and given more freedom in barracks. Ones in hospital heard horrible noises from x-wing. One player got to assist in a werewolf dissection. Another with occult expertese allowed to test a magic sword and it was cursed and would not leave his side. Another worked in the drone repair pool. One worked on martial arts training and saw guys drilling with machetes and medieval weapons. Italian guy got in with camp mob through illegal gambling. One of the doctors who got injured in orc battle fighting managed to get respect from some of the vets.

In the xenomethodological research labs the guy with the sword, the Italian mobster and a scout who managed to whine his way in got to do volunteer work in the centre ware house cleaning up storage lockers. Began emptying rubbish, empty crates when found a huge archaic chest. The Itaian guy was a big fellow with crowbar so he went to open. The scout saw a eye open in the chest and warned him as the lid opened and the beast revealed it was a mimic. The lid opened revealing a set of jaws, tiny feed grew from each corner and a huge fist swung at the Italian. He martially punched the beast while others swung at it. The cursed sword wielder missed (thankfully not increasing the curse) and the scout pulled out his folding knife. Battered the beast and it knocked down the big Italian and ran. They chased it and fired pistols bringing the monster down. So these guys leveled up. Shifty scout became a first level thief. Italian became a fighter and got heavy weapon group and became a corporal. The one with curse was freed by a gnome prisoner of curse and after a time using his linguistics and occult research skills in the library became a wizard. While first two were mostly accepted as soldiers with some experience the wizard was informed he would not be able to leave and made to sign secret documents.

A few days later party sent to a forward base camp and found vets smoking, collecting orc fingers and ears, drinking homebrew beer. Was more caves were familiar with and a sealed door surrounded by red bricks. It was start of a new section of dungeon style. Party quiet and put to work. As a orc hoard set off some mines, door opened and two wounded men staggered out. Six vets and two contractors had been lost in section and captain selected part members to go and look for them.

Opened door and saw long passage with two arches at end and a corpse in middle of a Australian trooper. Scout went up first and peekked through arches to see four troglodytes who huled great javelins as he shot two with a rifle burst. He took a javelin in the back and fell as two more troopers rushed up to finish two surviving trogs. One got blasted and other ran through a door. Big Italian chased it with M60 into a workshop killing it. Several men fell to trog stench from corpses. Several unaffected put on gasmasks, then dragged out dead and wounded. On man guarded down one arch watching a t-junction while rest searched workshop in one group and others did first aid. As guard watched six kobolds with brass dragon headed tupes rushed im spraying him with greek fire. He scramed burning and fell while Another squadie hosed down three kobolds. Other three fled laughing. Then the squadie realized that was the demolition expert on fire and all fled.

Blast blocked several passages so others went to workshop. Found skin of missing vet. Kicked down next door and saw barricade of barrels. Bearded helmed short men ducked and squeaked in surprised but one of heroes threw in a grenade then slammed door. Blast killed a bunch of Dwarf traders possibly fouling future dwarf human relations. Found a library and another squaddie joined party. The signalman checked he knew the watchwords of the day so he was accepted. Someone saw a eye open on a book and stabbed it killing a living spell book. Found a 1975 Phonebook from Adelaide.

Next room saw tied man in a great nest of hatching eggs surrounded with lady kobolds wearing aprons. Party fired and one got away. Chased kobold with a drone and troops and killed it. Cut free the the man who was one of missing experts.

Next chamber had a pit with a grinning picture of kobold king hanging over it. In bottom was bleeding man. One man climbed down and as stood on floor diseased spike popped up but he dodged. Dragged man up onto surface where new sqaud member tried to push him down pit. Missed but then shot him dead. Others all flumoxed and several ried to grab new guy. He then revealed true form of doppelganger, a inside out mess of organs. They all fired and the new corporal fired m60 eliminating him. Dragged wounded back outside and called mission a wrap. Most of rest got a level.

Was big fun and will do again.