Saturday 25 November 2023

Halfling Hangups from Growing Up

Terrible Backstories and grimy pasts for small folk. Halfling problems can seem mild compared to dwarves and elves but they are also often targeted by bullies who see them as rich lazy weak and decadent. I guess the problems of an elf and a gnome will be soon. A few Patreon things dropping soon. 

d10 Quick drama type
1 Feasts and famines
2 Homelife
3 Monster 
4 Bullies
5 Exploring
7 Romance
8 Friends & Foes
9 Mysterious passages
10 Strange tales

d100 Halfling Hangups Growing Up
01 Ate so many pies at a pie eating contest you can't eat one specific pie ingredient ever again without vomiting
02 Older generation offended by comments at a festival feast and now they all think you are a whiny complaining troublemaker
03 Your crazy uncle at a feast kept bringing up to you the Dark Lord's reign as the good old days and a few years later he left the village of "soft stupid fatties"
04 A terrible shortage of butter for several years made so many meals bland it was awful
05 Accidentally burned grandma's recipe book and was outcast 
06 During a winter famine you broke into the food stores and ate everything and have been hated ever since by clan
07 One winter famine you were so hungry you ate bark and dead leaves and you became skinny with sagging skin for months until you found the remains of a frozen hald eaten dead badger in the snow 
08 You developed a mad craving for sweet food and got caught stealing pies and cookies and now other kin know you are dirty thief
09 One winter was so cold your clan ate several grandparents. It was embarrassing and sad but you kept bringing it up every year at family dinner after
10 A certain food makes you sob uncontrollably even when stuffing your face but you can't talk about it
11 Started a burrow fire and destroyed handmade crafts from generations and the whole family never stopped bringing it up and look wary when you are near fire
12 Burrowed into a rival family larder and shamefully stole their food
13 Was in an arranged marriage with a spotty short bossy brat who hated you so you fled
14 Your siblings robbed your inheritance and framed you for sacrilege so you had to flee
15 Orcs followed your trail home and ate your family and you escaped with your life and not much else
16 Your burrow was invaded by giant bugs who carried away your kin while you were fishing
17 While you were in woods looking at erotic parchments from an uncles trunk slavers took your clan
18 Burrow flooded and destroyed family became homeless nomads and paupers
19 Long winter where snow wolves constantly attacked and ate half your family
20 A human army came through demanding food and supplies and took everything
21 Carried away by a magical water horse and found wound up on another continent 
22 Dragon attacked and stole family wealth and ate some elders who could not flee
23 Dryad kidnapped you for years and when she abandoned you your village was abandoned
24 Plague of giant animals invaded village and burrows, eating family and took over d4 1=frogs 2=rats 3=scorpions 4=spiders 
25 Basilist petrified family and poisoned land ruining your home
26 Nighthag came from the underworld and kidnapped your siblings and left you
27 Chaos unicorns came and poisoned your home woodlands with mutants  
28 A deranged treant attacked your village, it had rotting brains and termites and was mad with pain, but lots of your kin died
29 Giant came to the village eating everyone's food so halflings only got 4 meals day
30 During a terrible famine you found a frozen troll, chopped it up and brought it home for food. Mysteriously dozens of trolls attacked your burrow that night. You wonder if you were somehow responsible
31 The dark lord broke the dam upstream and flooded the village 
32 A wizard came to live in your village d4 1=was a mean tyrant 2=was a necromancer 3=was a vampire 4=had a demon familiar
33 Local slavers kidnapped your family and sold them to foreign lands
34 You were with a party who all broke into a villainous robber knight ruined caste and discovered he was a vampire. Only you survived 
35 The dark lord had your village overtaken by doppelganger changelings who ate your family as they replaced them
36 A mean wizard sent his orcs to steal all our village pipeweed for years
37 A human guild master tried to ban halfling goods making the village poor until we found that guild contract in a trunk exempting us signed by three kings
38 A bandit gang tried to steal our food in winter but they mysteriously disappeared and other bandits know your clans now
39 A crime guild came to get extortion from us and your uncles ground them to pulp in the village mill. The rose garden loved it but the guild master escaped
40 A noble tried to impose a tax on luxury food on your village but the lord found nobody wanted to try and collect it so nothing happened  
41 Discovered a sinkhole with pre-human ruins but ran away from the albino cave lizards there
42 Found a new trade route to a new town with excellent chees and ham, were given a pewter mug from your clan out of gratitude
43 Found a mysterious door while expanding your burrow but your grandma made you bury it again and leave it alone
44 Found a mysterious garden gate under a full moon while picking mistletoe in the village blackberry bush maze. It was gone the next day
45 Dreamed of finding a ruin on a mountain top and years later you saw the mountain
46 On a ramble as youth discovered caves in the wild where dragons breed
47 Found a secret trap door in uncles trunk, it opens into the planar library of hell where Imps offer free tuition wizard schooling 
48 While swimming fled from a lake monster by hiding in an ancient stone passage of some sunken ruin
49 Exploring a barrow mound you got home with treasure but that night undead attacked and turned your childhood friends into ghouls and ate your family
50 Found on the frozen mountain an ice-covered doorway. Before you could get close a giant saw you and got a few of your siblings
51 Won the village farting competition three years running
52 Caught your father cheating in a pumpkin growing contest. He got some magic powder from pixies who lived in a tree trunk he used 
53 Won the prettiest baby competition twice but some are still resentful to you
54 Accidently shot your brother in the eye during a hunting contest and he just wont get over it
55 You fleeced a crooked gambler now his crime want to skin you alive
56 Won the steal from an elf witch contest but she turned you into a frog for a while
57 Banned for life from temple eating contests for having explosive diarrhoea
58 While having a belching contest near a strange eldrich monalith accidentally uttered the arcane words to release shadowy creatures before the human age. Everyone blames you for the mess after
59 Only survivor of a fishing contest and the losers families all hate you and the giant lake eel who ate them
60 Vomited in grandma's lap at a wedding when you organised a cider-drinking contest at the feast
61 Caught a terrible disease at a party and everyone knows who you were with 
62 Caught by your lover's parents who beat you and chased you all over town
63 Your lover was really a doppelganger who tried to eat you
64 Stole flowers from a wizard garden for your sweetheart and they turned out to be deadly carnivorous plants that infested the village and caused problems for years
65 Your sweetheart jilted you to run away to marry a bandit
66 You met a wonderful lover and were sworn to marry but a dragon ate them
67 You were flirting at a party but your love interest's family wanted you gone and had you chased away with assassins
68 Caught your lover with an imp learning evil magic and fled for your life
69 Your lover was found undead, drained by a succubi/incubus  
70 Your lover was carried away by drunk satyrs and centaurs celebrating the wine god
71 You met real elves and visited elfland and was impressed by food quality but not quantity. You know a few elves  
72 Were mentored by a gnome who lived in a treestump near your village and listened to your problems
73 An old wizard used to give you sweets and pinch your cheeks and said he would always try to help you if you ask
74 You saw a damn dirty orc dire wolf rider burn your barn and frighten your family. If you ever see that damned fiend again you will make them pay
75 A hermit priest long retired lived in a dolmen and you used to hear his stories and wonder about the world
76 A cousin was possessed by an evil ghost and fled into the arms of a secret evil cult. If only you could save your cousin
77 An old shopkeeper you respected you caught talking to his imp. He tried to kill you then fled the village. It was quite a surprise i can tell you
78 Sherrif of village got you and your gang running errands in emergencies as kids and you would have been a beadle if only your family didn't sabotage your dream by being of the criminal class 
79 An old druid used to sit you on his knee and teach you about plants and animals
80 Knew a famous cook and got their valuable recipe book including foods that act like potions. You need to learn some alchemy to make these
81 You found a hidden complex of gnomes with secret doors all over a forest. These gnomes kidnapped you and made you their prisoner but lucky you escaped the black cap clan of spiteful bullies
82 Found a hag cave and she put you in a cage and fed you on sweet cakes and buns you couldn't resist. Luckily you escaped by pretending to be dead and never looked back
83 Found a haunted witch house rumoured to contain treasure and spooks but ran away
84 Found a secret entrance into a barrow mound where dark elves were celebrating their evil deeds for the year and you hid then fled when all clear
85 Found a semi-sunken underground city in a sinkhole in a swamp but a dragon lives there
86 Found a scary wrecked ship in a swamp people say is the home of a witch ogre who once served an ogre king long ago
87 Found a lost prehuman crypt on the estate of a nobleman while poaching but he set dogs on you and you are wary of them a bit especially of ones trained to attack your folk
88 You found a cave that took you to a hidden clifftop ruin most don't know exists. There are mystic spirals on dolmen and monoliths and statues of ancient trolls before their fall into brutality. Many types and sizes are depicted and many are small and harmless ancestors of barn stove and roof trolls. You fled when the bad kind of trolls came
89 Exploring a haunted lighthouse with your friends and your dog as a youth and you fled from a real ghost! Have a cowardly old hungry war dog of the north folk still
90 You and your gang foiled plans of robbers and got kidnapped and escaped as kids several times and were well-known meddling kids. You hope you can be remembered for more recent adventures as the others were spread by bards and puppet shows
91 Found a magic circle to faerie land that works under a full moon d4 1=stone 2=mushroom 3=flowers 4=trees
92 Overheard faeries plotting to influence local nobles and replace noble babies with changelings
93 Talking goats made you swear to tell nobody of their secret network of sentient farm animals fighting chaos
94 Family turned into cannibals were-rat chaos cultists who hunt you from time to time
95 Found a suspicious travelling carnival with many weird characters from other worlds. In the morning they were gone but you'd love to see them again
96 Grew magic beans that let you climb to Giantland where giants chased you and ate your friend
97 Found a badger hole and looked inside to find a tiny doorway to a land of small faeries and various beasting folk who drank tea and ate cake. Lucky they thought you were a hedgehogling and one of them 
98 Haunted by your perverted uncle who was in a demon cult and craves your young physical body
99 Discovered an underground cave while lost underground for months. There were albino cave dinosaurs living in a fungus forest. It was amazing but nobody believed you
100 You saw a sinister shadowy tower appear and disappear hours later. Apparently, this happens every year and it can be used to travel vast distances. Sometimes awful creatures come out and sometimes knights of Law will attack them

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