Murder Hobos & The Power Of Friendship

So had a quick game of Lamentations/ BX mash up at game shop. Was intended for noobs but several bailed and two of my fave vet players came plus Katie. She has started gaming but has had a interest in sword fighting and listened to me argue with story gamers for years at mid week geek. She is also mostly blind and very sharp. So I rolled up a quick dungeon using my Redbrick draft. I also had idea for my sentient dungeons to have abilities they can call on based on their levels per day but more on that later.

So I rolled Up This
-humanoid Breeders Dungeon (decided on kobold as 1st Lv)
-Serpent man wizard boss named Seestak LE the kobolds self titled god
-Ragon the cleric with his goatmen guards trying to resurrect a ancient evil said to be hidden in the cave plus several zombies (using my 1st Lv problematic zombie spell)
-Dungeon Spirit will use ESP to make voices of peoples loved ones
-Rumours that local area was dependant on dungeon
-The entry had statues of two kobold crowned warriors before a archway
-Carved from black basalt and smelled of rotten food
-Was crawling in bugs and vermin
-intersections lit by dim green magic light

The Players Rolled up characters
-Jimmy the Thief sent by guild to stop chep kobold labour destroying economy and guild skill base from kobold slave trade with his pet kobold torchbearer slave and Lifto the baggage handler whos speciaty is loot hauling and running away
-Sleazy Nick the Priest of Baccus sent to recover a recipe for a male potency formula so the high priest could perform functions at the cult woodland drunken orgies who has a kobold torch bearer
-Fred the warrior a mercenary who woke up one day with tatoo of the dungeon door on his chest whos charisma is 8 and has never had a true friend

Party met in pub of town where everyone using kobold slaves for dirty jobs. The local industry was booming from kobold slave trade and the kobold breeding dungeon was well known and had a sign pointing to it. The shop sold kobold traps and manacles and other kobold slave items. The peasants no longer felt on the bottom and were getting rich and lazy at kobold expense. Of late kobold trappers had disappeared.

The party met in the pub and the priest was pleased to see the pub offered him discounts and had statuette of his god with a huge erection. They set off to the dungeon and spied a single kobold fishing. Jimmy with his kobold offered it food and were friendly and the kobold Bing explained the evil priest and goatmen had taken part of the dungeon. Talked about their god Seestak and said they should talk to him and plan a meeting. Two days drinking and pick pocketing later and they met Seestak who was a bald wizard with a goatee and green eyeliner and a slight lisp. The made a deal ans Seestak gave them armbands and offered gold to kill the goatmen and priest. They were told head left to find the priest factions lair. Then kill them and send Bing to the tell Seestak when the job done. Seestak referred to people as humans as if not to include himself. The kobolds were impressed by Fred the fighters tattoo but their master was not.

So into the dungeon and past a few kobold guards. Found a garbage room and Jimmy went exploring silently with two kobolds but a carrion crawler surprised him and a kobold paralyzing them. Priest and warrior rushed and killed it with torch bearer kobolds. Found lots of trash and a crawler hole with two corpses in it of kobolds. One was a paralysed kobold warrior and other body tore in half when pulled out and had grubs in it's mouth. Waited for paralysed peers to be able to move and moved on. Thief grabbed the crawlers head and the rescued kobold had worm eggs removed and was grateful and went home to tell of parties good deeds.

Saw kobold guard posts and found dimly lit cavern of the evil cult. Thief sneaked up and found zombie guards, obviously murder hobos and the weasel faced one was from his guild who was sent on a nameless mission just a bit before him. He shanked one and ran. The zombies lumbered slowly after him and the party fired missiles and the priest tried to turn them. Zombies were allowed to close and the warrior finished them with thief who his in a wall depression as zombies passed him.

All this was pretty quiet and they found a temple and some boxes and barrels and a chest. Barrel of paint another of flower plus box of stale bread (kobolds ate). Locked chest had a iron pot with 20lb or fresh mortar. Kobolds tasted the paint noting the high lead content and the mortar. The top of the mortar should have scabbed over and they spread some on wall and watched it dry. It was a magic mortar pot possibly worth a thousand gold. Found white painted altar repurposed from kobold mother god to the Seestak then the new chaos underworld god. A smashed clay statue kobolds said was of Seestak was on floor but they didn't pay attention. Ahead was curtained tunnel where the evil priest and goatmen. They realized by questioning the kobold that there was only 2 goatmen but they were "twice as big as kobolds".

Thief went ahead and saw priest in bed and two black goatmen playing dice. He went up to priest and stabbed him in the chainmail and woke him up with a yell. Goatmen got up and the fighter and cleric charged in. The cleric had blessed himself and protected the fighter in plate with protection from evil. The goatmen went down and the theif fled the angry priest who cast hold person on the party. A kobold and th thief were paralysed. The priest whaked the paralysed thief in the head then was brought down in a hail of blows. The kobolds were quite handy. Priest saved the priest with  a healing spell and they rested 12 hours till morning. Kobolds told how Seestak had saved kobolds from slavery by walking among the men and betraying them with a kobold ambush outside town.

Found gold and the priest holy book on betrayal, murder, torture and deceit and his orders to awaken an ancient evil, enthrall the kobolds and take over the region. Priest of Baccus tried to convert the surviving goatman as he had froliced in the woods with some good ones once but it was vile so he dashed out its brains. The priest was ungagged and questioned and demanded party serve him. The party told him they won and he should serve them. He promised to be good and they looked in his unholy book to see his supplication word for word from the chapter on telling vile lies. So they killed him. Convinced the local kobold they were better friends and Freds tats were a sign. The bacchanalian priest gave the kobold some proper wine not the piss kobolds drank and promised all the wine they wanted and freedom. Impressed by the human kindness the kobold admitted their god could shape shift into a snake man and would eat kobold eggs and had seen him swallow a human baby. The kobolds had found him asleep and covered in dust in the sealed library chamber. So they realized the snake was the ancient sleeping evil the cult was seeking.

They sent in kobolds ahead to convince others bu they didn't do so well. The kobold they had saved earlier did do some good. They met as planned their kobolds in a guard junction and the kobolds were tolerant of the helpful humans but had orders not to let them pass. Their allied kobolds attacked first the party joined in and subdued most of them. Except the one a fighter cut in half while holding a fire bomb with a lit fuse that was beyond first aid.

They went to the hatchery and convinced the kobold matriarch to aid them and said they would not eat kobold eggs. She led them to the warrior barracks and they planned to call out the wizard snakke from the library. They called him and he came out looking human as before and the party and 8 kobolds shot him peppering the surprised wizard lizard who resumed his true form on death.

So the party stayed on. The priest brought in the saucy bachinalean kobolds of his cult, taught them wine making and the ways of drunkenness. The thief made a deal with the guild to rent kobold labourers which made their labour not so cheap and kept the class and economic order intact. Fred the fighter was a bit scary to the kobolds (CHA8) but had the tattoos of liberator so they accepted him. Everybody lived happily ever after.

Real murder hobos might have turned on the kobolds too but they made a good income. In my games players often become dungeon bosses. Apparently this is abnormal.