Fun with language translators

Faux elizabethan translator fun
https://lingojam.com/EnglishtoShakespearean
this is a fun toy and will be very handy in my games

exile island is a pirate colony
wh're cutteth throats and murd'r'rs liveth
all who is't wend th're art damn'd to hell
men art all scum
ladies art hags
dread monst'r kings dwell'd th're longeth ago
those beasts did rule the w'rld as tyrant mast'rs
killing and enslaving as their lust decre'd
until m'rtal humans didst rebel
sealing the eld'r ones beneath most wondrous stones

came from this

exile island is a pirate colony
where cut throats and murderers live
all who go there are damned to hell
men are all scum
ladies are witches
dread monster kings dwelled there long ago
those beasts ruled the world as tyrant masters
killing and enslaving as their lust decreed
until mortal humans did rebel
sealing the elder ones beneath great stones

I did tweak a few words to work better but this will be great in game for clues, names, notes and more

It is designed for fun not reality but pretty good

This will be handy for maps and intros sections of any campagn book i ever do

And now your room descriptions will be ever so clear

four scoudrels c'rpses did lie on the flo'r
the cubiculo is twenty by twenty
with a doth'r in each direction
th're is a chest in the centre of the cubiculo
the chamb'r is did light by candle

The old english one is better for names or short phrazes

See what it did to my poems from a few posts ago
http://elfmaidsandoctopi.blogspot.com.au/2016/11/oldschool-dnd-poetry-pit.html

Exile island
men of the frozen n'rth dread t's shatt'r'd sh'res
wh're stony coastal battlement toweth'rs reacheth the sky
men of the mystic east loathe t's filthy grubbing maggot men
who is't's swarming cutteth throats scrounge f'r longeth hath lost treasures
men of the ancient west feareth t's f'rgotten und'rland h'rr'rs
which once did rule the w'rld as blood soak'd tyrant monst'r kings
men of the south did crave golden plund'r and ancient wizardry
at which hour the treasure fleets of the empire cameth to digeth and killeth and kicketh the bucket

I might change the bucket bit

Shadel p'rt the pirate city
shadelp'rt grim shadelp'rt
enshielf in the dread misty flotes of the the n'rth
a shambling sprawling oozing heapeth of a city
c'rrod'd spires and domes from ruins prehuman
chock'd by the horror stain'd cottages of the fest'ring po'r
wh're 'rcs walketh the streets as men
wh're the ev'r living barron watches all
wh're glistening eyes of thieves drowneth out the stars
wh're pirate scum cometh to drinketh and chund'r
shadelp'rt grim shadelp'rt
nobody cries drops of sorrow f'r thee

whaling town of bloodsand beach
bloodsand beach wh're black souls meeteth
barnacl'd walls and moaning slaves
screaming sealions and whale blood sprayeth
did slit strang'rs throats and iron rend'ring vats
winnow the week and squeezeth out their bacon-fed
not a bone hath left spareth, not a scrap 'r rag
not a selkie 'r saileth'r 'r slave ev'r didst roam
nothing and nobody ev'r cameth home

I would change the bacon bit
I would try the Shakespearean insult generator too, plenty of them around

More Fun

The hell bog
t is a evil lodging of malice
with a evil heart yond hates mankind
wh're slimey creatures reside
wh're poison v'rmin swarm
wh're the black dragon dwells
wh're hags cackle with impunity
wh're mud sucks men down 
to joineth the slumb'r of the dead

The Emp'r'r
that gent protects the lands of mankind
from vile 'rcs and troll and goblins
that gent chastises the unruly dwarves and fa'rie folk
who is't disregard the law of mankind
that gent gives the ingraft s'rfs bread and w'rk
those who is't payeth their tithes avoideth the whipeth 
that gent doth take the po'r widows into his castle
and gives those folk succ'r in his quart'rs
he is the most handsome man ever alive
but he is ever so humble as ever a man was
that gent scolds the naughty with his justice
disembowels the laws transgress'rs
that gent burns the hags and sland'r'rs
and beheads the trait'rs and plott'rs
that gent fairly only t'rtures the guilty
his many dungeons art the fairest
that gent is the king of kings
the angels praise his ev'ry de'd
that gent is did love by the gods
and all lands knoweth that gent to beest the greatest

from this

The Emperor
He protects the lands of mankind
from vile orcs and troll and goblins
he chastises the unruly dwarves and faerie folk
who disregard the law of mankind
he gives the common serfs bread and work
those who pay their tithes avoid the whip
he takes the poor widows into his castle
and gives them succor in his quarters
he is the most handsome man ever alive
but he is ever so humble as ever a man was
he scolds the wicked  with his justice
disembowels the laws transgressors
he burns the witches and slanderers
and beheads the traitors and plotters
he fairly only tortures the guilty
his many dungeons are the fairest
he is the king of kings
the angels praise his every deed
he is loved by the gods
and all lands know him to be the greatest

this came out ok but i lost first draft from a blogger screw up

oops found it - probably better
possibly two versions might be a good clue or something one day
I imagine students in empire all being forced to learn this

praise to the emp'r'r
who is't staunchly defends the realm
who is't kills trait'rs to the realm
and spills the gizzards of the naughty in the streets
praise to the emp'r'r
who is't is did test s'rely by his many enemies
who is't is kind to sir and beast alike
who is't doth take widows into his castle
praise to the emp'r'r
who is't gives w'rk and bread to the needy
who is't keeps the 'rcs and trolls and goblins hence
who is't maketh dwarfs and elvves payeth respect
praise to the emp'r'r
who is't angels in heaven praise
who is't the gods doth loveth
who is't is v'ry rich and handsome
praise to the emp'r'r
mast'r of the landeth
l'rd of the flote
greatest king in the w'rld
praise to the emp'r'r
only the naughty misprise 'r feareth that gent
only the sly and taint'd sland'r that gent
only the guilty doest that gent chopeth off their heads

more

The Black Barron of Shadelport
The black barron of shadelp'rt
mast'r of pirates and all the oceans
imm'rtal, uncaring and et'rnal
his foes envy burns bright
but that gent shall outlast those folk 
his cruelty shall ling'r longeth aft'r those folk
their lands and treasures shall his
their offspring shall beest his slaves
their did love ones putteth in dungeons deep
their souls playthings f'r the dukes of hell
their skulls shall beest setteth in his castle walls
his secret police art the bane of his foes
any who is't sayeth that gent is unfair 
shalt has't cutteth off their fing'rs and toes
harsh but fair the people sayeth
then moveth on and behold hence

original version

The black Barron of Shadelport
master of pirates and all the oceans
immortal, uncaring and eternal
his foes hatred burns bright
but he will outlast them
his cruelty will linger long after them
their lands and treasures will his
their offspring will be his slaves
their loved ones put in dungeons deep
their souls playthings for the dukes of hell
their skulls will be set in his castle walls
his secret police are the bane of his foes
any who say he is unfair
shall have cut off their fingers and toes
harsh but fair the people say
then move on and look away